Some stupid things in RPGs

[nexus]

Here's my tale of woe

Shadowrun. I was playing a female elf assasin named China Doll. Typical femme fatale black trench coat wearer (Hey, It was high school. At least she was straight and not a nymphomanic). The NPC introduces a character I'll Kevin (all this guys characters were named Alex, Paul or Kevin. All of them. Including Star Trek and D and D characters, but thats a rant for another time). Kevin glommed onto the group and my PC specifically. He was goofy, childish and a complete Mary Sue wanna be, annoying both IC and OOC. The nicest thing my character ever said to him was "Sure, you can come. We can always use more soft cover." He asked her out once (Despite the fact she had a NPC SO she was dating at the time) and she threatened to shoot him in the knees and leave him to die. Such was the sum total of their romantic relationship.

Later, Kevin tried to sexually assault my character. She responded as most professional killers would. Lethally. The GM was dumbfounded, literally slack jawed with shock as to why she would do this. We paused the game to talk about it. He spends an half an hour lecturing that I should not have had my character "lead him on" and try to seduce NPCs if she's just going to go all psycho bitch when they respond. The incident was retconned ot of existence but he continued to moon after my character for quite some time. I guess I was actually luck that the fight wasn't run out for reasons that will become clear shortly.

I could also mention "Kevin" went from android (complete was acess panels opening onto circuit boards despite our medic having used First Aid on him hours earlier including minor surgery in those same areas and finding nothing odd) to Dragon to an ancient Elf spirit to a half Vampire to bioengineerd super warrior (able to destroy three Full Conversion borgs before our Wired Reflexes Street Samurai even got to act once). All this in the space of 3 or 4 sessions.

This same GM later ran Werewolf the Apocolypse for us. We were doing preludes and Lupus was up first. It started out pretty good, just a little summary of the day to day struggle and monotony of life as a wild animal when you have bordering on human awareness. Then...it turned into a Disney movie. Mating season arrived and being the Alpha he sought out the Alpha female...and found he had to "court her" in the literal sense, praise her beauty and bring her gifts before she would even consider mating her. Gifts like pretty stones and such. She was not a garou in disguise (perhaps a Ragabash messing with him for some unknown reason as we thought), just a normal wolf female. One of his gifts she rejected by turning her back on him in a huff. The player, rather frustrated at this point, got an evil grin and said "Great, she accepts, I go for it!" Again, the gm is slack jawed. We had to stop the game and explain to him what, for a quadraped, her turning her back on him might imply. Of course, he's morally outraged and horrified at the idea and refuses to run Werwolf ever again.

[Superskrull]

So, you too have met those dread Mary Sue characters. I feel for you.
I need to get to sleep but I'll come back here tonight after I write up my experiences with my first Monty Haul DM and his wonderous characters like Blackwolf & John Rambo.

[nexus]

Another one that comes to mind. Shadowrun again, same gm. Another person's character this time. We had a mage named Sweet Mercy. She was constantly being bested in magical combat. Mainly this was due to the fact the gm wouldn't let her player read the magic rules and just "explained' them to her so she didn't know how to use half her spells and abilites correctly. This was corrected later, but thats a different story.

One session after a run we went to club to celebrate. Mercy was rather down and drank somewhat heavily (another magical thrashing). The GM had a guy hit on her. Her player thought she was depressed and drunk so she'd fall for the lines as presented. The couple adjourns to privacy, fade to black.

Simple bit of throwaway rp? No. It turns into a city wide scandal apparently as all the runners in Seattle develop moral codes from 50s. Mercy is blacklisted as a "slut" that no one will treat with respect. And I mean NO ONE. It was like the incident made the evening news.

He had a real thing about sex or sexuality in any form, particularly if the character was female.

[nexus]

So, you too have met those dread Mary Sue characters. I feel for you.
I need to get to sleep but I'll come back here tonight after I write up my experiences with my first Monty Haul DM and his wonderous characters like Blackwolf & John Rambo.

Oh this sounds good. I look forward to it. :)

[Captain Obvious]

Sounds like that guy has struck out three times. Put him on the bench.

[arcady]

See:
http://herogames.com/forums/showthread.php?p=479273#post479273

For my encounters with players who can't keep it in their pants...

Among other problems.

Honestly wish I could get over the gaming fix sometimes, gamers just creep me out too much too often.

[Hypnotoad, the]

While I don't run too many games (I prefer to play usually unless I'm inspired), there was this one person who I played with, and no matter the game, his character was still the same: Female warrior with a personality so flat, you could make straight lines with it. It didn't matter if we were playing D&D, some space opera-like game, or even Champions--you couldn't tell his characters apart.

It got so bad that it made me self-conscious whenever I wanted to play a cold-hearted femme fatale concept. In fact...it still does in a way.

[Superskrull]

Pat's Tales of Gaming Woe

Once, long long ago (19 years to be exact) I was but a lad of 15 summers and had recently started gaming at the local game shop. I was a foolish boy in those days and unable to recognize warning signs and looks of pity from my fellow gamers. Enter Mike Beal, runner of... mmm... we'll call them games for lack of a better term. Mike liked GMing and since he had only three players at the table, he saw me looking for a group and let me play as well.

Blackwolf: He's Everybody's Pal

Our first game was AD&D. I'd played for a couple years and thought I knew what I was doing. I still think that. Regardless, Mike was a friendly guy and we quickly made me a half-elven fighter-mage. I was classed as the newbie so I had to stay in the back of the party as the three other guys carved our way through the baddies in the dungeon we'd gathered to explore. This was all right, and I got to kill a few things here and there as they tried to sneak up on us. Despite my only killing like 5 orcs and a frothing mad gnoll, I found myself awarded an equal share of the divided treasure and XP. In only three sessions, I'd managed to advance to 5th level as both fighter and mage. Mike liked even level advancement and so you needed to get enough XP to go up one level in each to advance but that's ok, there was no training expenses or time out as that would distract us from the killing. Annoyingly, I'd yet to get to cast more than a single Sleep spell and had been handed such goodies as a Wand of Fire. Now I was iching to cause some trouble. I've got a small arsenal of fire magic on tap and I just memorized Lightning Bolt. Let the carnage ensue. No go. Our party leader, Blackwolf, a mighty-thewed fighter felt I was too weak and might die just as he was getting used to having me around. I got a little confused at this point, as Mike had previously said that Blackwolf was just this NPC he'd added to give us another fighter in the front. Asking the other players only got me snickering in response. An hour passed as I sulked in the back petulantly killing the occasional goblin or kobold that slipped past the killing machines up front. I sulked all though the slaying of the evil wizard whose tower we were raiding. This one confused me earlier as I could swear we'd started out in some abandoned mines out in the hills with no tower in sight. Whatever.
We returned to the town I'd been in long enough to be drug off to 'adventure' from and were splitting the loot at the bar. Sarah, one of the elder three players suggested that I ask Mike about Blackwolf now that we were in town and had time to talk before Blackwolf found us another dungeon to explore. Sure, fine, whatever. "So, Mike, tell me about this Blackwolf guy." Mike got a big grin on his face and started this long and painful story describing how Blackwolf had once been a lowly PC like my guy, but he'd gotten really lucky and found these cool magic cards. "Deck of Many Things?", I asked. Yeah, that's what they were. Turns out Blackwolf had a luckblade on him at the time and had wished that he could draw all the good cards from the deck twice. "Really?", I asked, having a sinking feeling about this. Mike then enthusiastically detailed how he'd used the extra wishes. I always love hearing those words together -'extra wishes'- as if you didn't even need them, just used them before they went stale or something. Mike had felt Blackwolf was pretty cool already when he'd found that deck and so he told me how he'd already killed a couple of the weaker gods from the Deities & Demigods book. Then he proceeds to explain how he used these wishes to steal the positions & powers of these dead gods and place himself in charge of multiple pantheons. My eyes glazed over when he was telling me how he'd become C'thulu's older brother and had chosen to keep his power at the greater god level so he wouldn't be bound in place like the others Elder God were. There was something about wives too but I managed to tune most of that out. There might have been something about merging the powers of Stormbringer and Mjolnir but I was too busy shaking my head to follow it. After a few minutes of stunned silence as I tried to absorb all this, I finally asked why he was in the party.
"Oh, Blackwolf makes all these dungeons we go into and he likes to go along so his worshippers find all the cool stuff he puts in there."
"...oh... ...uh... ...I guess that makes sense..."
"Anyway, you said your character is a half-elf, right?"
"Er, yeah."
"So, what's the other race? Blackwolf came up with this cool idea one day and so he made a wish letting elves and dwarves interbreed. They're really powerful and cool. They ride these giant talking wolf-cats they have mind bonds with and they have all the powers of any race of elf and dwarf."
"Um, my guy's just a half-elf half human I guess. Anyway, I'm gonna need to get out of here soon. My mom wants me home by 1 AM."
I avoided the store for a few weeks after that, but he saw me there one afternoon and I had to come up with some lame excuse about my grades and staying out too late. Hey, I was 15 and couldn't spin any good lies yet. This led to his invitation to play Chill and Morrow Project. Apparently, the others were bored with D&D and wanted to shoot guns at things.

John Rambo: All-American Hero

I'd played Chill before with my best friend. That's a rough game when you're the only player. I must have gone through like a dozen characters in the first few sessions before settling into a combination of fearful caution and ruthless pragmatism. I thought that'd be a fun game with other players around, envisioning us investigating mysterious events, fighting cults and learning hidden secrets.Maybe my character wouldn't need all the jet fuel I'd squirrelled away for emergency burnings and I could go a few sessions without having to try surviving running gunfights. I was a pretty dumb kid, looking back now. We all gathered at the table that Saturday night and I showed him my graduate student who boxed and hunted
on the side. Chill let you start with 2-5 skill ranks. Student in most cost you one point and Teacher cost two. I'd rolled 4 points so I took Boxing, Rifles, Investigation and Journalism at Student. I thought that would be a decent mix. Mikes reaction was more like; "Didn't take Explosives, huh? I give everyone 6 skill points to start and a a free Student in Pistols." I failed my perception check at that point and decided that bumping my Investigation to Teacher and adding Computers at Student would be good. Sitting at the table waiting for Mike to start, the others checked out my character and
shook their heads. Mike cleared his throat. We were all members of SAVE, the organization of professional moster hunters. Pretty standard for Chill, as every PC was supposed to be a member of this organization. We were called to a room, given vague instructions about going somewhere in Alaska and found ourselves airborne within moments of his less than inspired intro. He did mention that the others recognized John, the pilot from previous adventures. Looking at me, he explained that this was John Rambo, apparently plucked straight from the movies by the auspices of SAVE and now he hunted monsters for a living. "Oh. Bet he'll be pretty handy." As none of us could fly a plane, Rambo was the pilot as he apparently could fly or drive any vehicle. He could also use any weapon and had a Master rank in any skill Mike deemed useful or appropriate.Anyway, we head north and there's a big storm brewing as we pass Anchorage. Mike described how the heater failed and we had
ice on the wings but John seemed to have everything in control. We were heading to some small oil refining station or some such because someone had "seen things moving in the snow" and we were the suckers sent to investigate. Of course we crashed a few miles from the area.
We all get knocked around in the crash and lost some health (Stamina). Checking the pilot we find Rambo gone with the
controls smashed and the windows smashed in along with a bunch of ice and some blood. The others are shocked, 'cause the undefeatable Rambo has been lost. We're all freezing at this point and so we trek to the station. Everyone's dead there, apparently by werewolves with chainsaw mouths judging by the amount of splattered gore. The howls start at that point and we hear scratching at the windows and door. One window shatters inwards as a huge wolf leaps in. Everyone loses their Willpower saves and we're all screaming like little kids. Never fear, though, as Rambo leaps in the window as well, his combat knife out and ready. I feel compelled to point out that he was indeed shirtless, just as we all remember Rambo being. Never mind
the cold, it could do nothing to cool his fiery blood. In a momemnt he was across the room slitting the wolf's throat. "I killed some more outside, but we should get the window blocked again." That was Rambo, a take-charge kind of guy. Needless to say, none of us but Rambo made it through the adventure.

[Captain Obvious]

Gotta love the GM's god characters.

When I'm GMing, NPCs who accompany PCs on an adventure are likely to die a horrible death, not save the PCs at every turn. The only "NPC" likely to survive is my PC for those games where we rotate GM duties, and he's usually more colorful than combat-efficient.

[lemming]

I just want to use
Everyone's dead there, apparently by werewolves with chainsaw mouths judging by the amount of splattered gore.
:rofl:

[Badger]

We should right these characters up. Eh, they'd be cosmically pwerful anyway, nevermind.

[John T]

Sheesh, so many painfully polite people around here. :D

I've gotten up and walked out of games that had even the faintest scent of being as bad as those mentioned thus far, and heaven help the "GM" who asks why I'm leaving. Telling them their game sucks like the vacuum of intergalactic space is the MOST polite I'll be. :yes:

John T

[Nadrakas]

By all that is Unholy....Games shouldn't be a 'Z-Rated' Movie (Unless your playing Paranoia...:D ).

I'm in the same camp as John T. Get up...walk out...and if they ask you why...then you tell them in no uncertain terms that their game "stinks." I'd rather be playing 'Evercrack' than be in something as atrotious as Superskrull described (Been in two like that...I left within the first hour or two for each of them...)

I also don't have a problem telling players who are...well...disruptive/jerks/a_ _ holes to go away & find a life.

"Brrrrrrr..."...Hope to never be stuck in a bad game again.


Nadrakas...

[Superskrull]

I just want to use "Everyone's dead there, apparently by werewolves with chainsaw mouths judging by the amount of splattered gore."


Permission granted. If I can craft an amusing turn of phrase, I wanna see it spread like a mnemonic virus.

[Superskrull]

To be honest, I felt I did say why I didn't leave these games earlier. This WAS like 19 years ago. I was just a nervous 15 year old who was gaming outside of my home territory for the first time. Trust me when I say I'm a far less forgiving person these days when it comes to games. Heck, ask Agent X about his D&D game I cut out of after an hour and a half or so. His GMing was good but the players needed a good smacking.

'Sides, if we didn't do such stupid crap at times, where would we get all our war stories.

[Nadrakas]

To be honest, I felt I did say why I didn't leave these games earlier. This WAS like 19 years ago. I was just a nervous 15 year old who was gaming outside of my home territory for the first time. Trust me when I say I'm a far less forgiving person these days when it comes to games. Heck, ask Agent X about his D&D game I cut out of after an hour and a half or so. His GMing was good but the players needed a good smacking.

'Sides, if we didn't do such stupid crap at times, where would we get all our war stories.


Superskrull,

No judgment meant. Heck I started at ...like...ummm...well...with...oh...heck...I'm old ok (I was 10...). To be honest I can understand...now that I think about it (real hard) there haven't been that many games I've been in where I haven't been running them. While thinking (a strain at my age I assure you ) I dredged up one D&D game from waaaaayyy back ('77 ???) where we were hand-fed entire game sessions -- it took forever to go up levels (Though the GM characters got more powerful...they were doing most of the work off scene. We'd hear about a "Fortress of Evil" or an "Evil Sorcerer/Demon/Dragon/Princess" and head off to "Do the Good Dead"...when we arrived the main GM characters were on scene and we were the "cleanup crew" --

Main GM Strong Guy: "Ahh...good to see you again."
Characters (Looking around at the destruction): "Umm...yeah..."
Main GM Wizard Guy: "If you hurry off down the river you should be able to catch a few who were outside the Castle (Cave/Tower/Whatever) and stop them."
Characters: "Ummm..sure...."

And off we would go...racing after the Cook, Stable Boy, and a few 2nd Level Fighters - and it was a difficult fight. Somehow these people would have magic items. Heck, there was one really frustrating session before we all quit that GM where the "Cook" cast a Fireball (Used it for cooking I guess) at us -- it did 8-9d6...and we were 3rd or 4th. The GM rolled "near Max!!!" -- Like I said...that was pretty much the straw that broke the Games Back.

Wheeew...darn...I was what...11 or 12...so I understand Superskrull. Honestly I do. If we hadn't run across someone new to our area that could actually run a game where we were the center of the story (Not the NPCs) then I would have stopped gaming and taken up some other hobby...like watching Fungus grow.

Those game sessions helped me to have the Fortitude (:p ) to say "No" to bad GMs/Players/Games/Salepeople/Politicians/Etc. I only want one Horror like that in my memory (Though I have others...not gaming related...but Horrors nonetheless)...believe me.




Nadrakas..."Shuddering...trying not to remember those old, old, old sessions..."

"Darn...was I that...young once???"

[greymankle]

I have a plethora of crappy Monty Haul, Powergaming stories. Some, I am ashamed to say, I ran. Others I played in. Thankfully that was.. gosh weeks ago, at least.
From the campaign where we rolled up characters using the: Grab every d6 you own, roll 'em and take the best three method (My char ended up with a 17 CHA somehow)

To treasure chests tailor made for characters as opposed to being relevant to the monster killed.
i.e Congratulations Ranger. you've killed the evil mage. In his study you find an Elven bow, magical studded leather, arrows of mage killing etc.

But I wouldn't trade in those crap games for anything. Makes me appreciate the good games more. That and sometimes it's just fun to see if you can beat the Temple of Elemental Evil using third level munchkined characters. (And yes you can)

Later

[Superskrull]

Wheeew...darn...I was what...11 or 12...so I understand Superskrull. Honestly I do. If we hadn't run across someone new to our area that could actually run a game where we were the center of the story (Not the NPCs) then I would have stopped gaming and taken up some other hobby...like watching Fungus grow.

Those game sessions helped me to have the Fortitude (:p ) to say "No" to bad GMs/Players/Games/Salepeople/Politicians/Etc. I only want one Horror like that in my memory (Though I have others...not gaming related...but Horrors nonetheless)...believe me.


Oh, I believe you all right. I blame my experiences on my youth. After all, sometimes you just don't learn a lesson til you screw up on your own. I'm older and far meaner these days. I do miss Mike though, he was a pretty nice guy even if he was a lousy gamemaster. He and I had several friends in common so we hung out some even after I stopped gaming with him. Sadly, he died back in '93.

[CrosshairCollie]

Heh ... some things are omniversal, it seems.

In the gaming group I'm in, there is exactly one (1) female gamer, and one (1) GM who is either a gallant soul or a sexist pig, depending on how you prefer to interpret his actions.

The female never gets attacked; if she is put into a situation where she must be attacked, the attack misses or an NPC somehow interrupts the attack, even if she's the group's front line asskicker. If that isn't possible, the attack is, for some reason, nerfed ("That'll hit ... but this one's only using a dagger," was one line, despite the 50+ hp she had). No matter what the character is actually like, all the NPCs treat her like porcelain and all his PCs (when he plays and someone else runs) do the same.

Twice, she's been forced to baby-sit. One was in a Star Wars game, where we encountered a somewhat child-like Dark Side ... thing, basically a human with lightsabers sticking out of every feasible part of the body where they might be useful (and a few where they weren't), but it promptly latched onto the 'Teddy Bear' (her Ewok). In a D&D game, she was playing a very rough-and-tumble, self-sufficient halfling ranger ... but when we beat the main bad guy (remarkably easy for something that supposedly takes 4 23rd-level characters to beat, for the record), he reverts to childhood and 'the gods' show up in person to declare her the babysitter.

If I was EVER tempted to drop a gender-bender on a character, it'd be this guy's character, whatEVER the game.

[John T]

To be honest, I felt I did say why I didn't leave these games earlier. This WAS like 19 years ago. I was just a nervous 15 year old who was gaming outside of my home territory for the first time. Trust me when I say I'm a far less forgiving person these days when it comes to games. Heck, ask Agent X about his D&D game I cut out of after an hour and a half or so. His GMing was good but the players needed a good smacking.Not trying to hack on anyone's judgement, just surprised that, based on most of the tales posted, so many folks left these games more-or-less quietly. Honestly, I started gaming myself at the age of 17, after having already read a copious amount of fantasy and science fiction. By that time, spotting poop storytelling was fairly easy.


'Sides, if we didn't do such stupid crap at times, where would we get all our war stories.Unfortunately for me, most such lessons come from RL... :(

John T

[mikesama]

While I don't run too many games (I prefer to play usually unless I'm inspired), there was this one person who I played with, and no matter the game, his character was still the same: Female warrior with a personality so flat, you could make straight lines with it. It didn't matter if we were playing D&D, some space opera-like game, or even Champions--you couldn't tell his characters apart.

It got so bad that it made me self-conscious whenever I wanted to play a cold-hearted femme fatale concept. In fact...it still does in a way.

Yes one of our "favorite" players. Don't forget all of them were tall, green eyed, stacked and comletly humorless. This player could hem and haw for fifteen minutes on what to do next and the end this disruption with "I use my RKA on him"

Damm I wish we could have continued that space opera game, I am so sure he would have loved finding out that his advanced robot's body was designed as the universes most expesive sex toy and would have alot of pre programed responses to certain stimuli. :eg:

[starblaze]

One of the very worse characters I can think of was a bard that was played by the 'nameless one' (his name was Steve but we call him that because we also know another Steve who is much more likeable). He played the one 3rd Edition Bard who never performed unless you reminded him to. And not only that he kept changing his character. He apparently was under the impression that Bards were like the most powerful character class in the book because they can do some many things. They can do alot but they suffer for their versatality. So he just kept rearranging things and trying to make his character Mr. Everything man.

But that's not the worse part of it. The worse part was characters name.

Generic Blande.:idjit: :idjit: :idjit: :idjit:

We eventually ended up kicking him out the group and had his character banished to the planes.

[BcAugust]

... ok, I got one that can top these(Well, I have about four, but I'm just willing to recall one now)

Vampire Game. Online, invited several people from a board I frequent that were friends of friends. One of the cast, Nicholas(prince of the city, Toredor, supposed to be humanity seven), quickly decended to Path of Cather 7, nearly eight, by the third session of the game. And in true, evil fashion, proceeded to talk behind my back to the other players, to convince them to go his way in game. After about twelve sessions of this(Did I mention that he liked to do graphic in game descriptions of what his character was doing to the (only female) Npcs), the other players and I got together, basically said enough, and there was a pking. He was allowed to bring another character in, under promises that he wouldn't misplay this one... then made it a revenge character, extracted a promise from a Code of Honor character to protect the new character behind my back again, and then proceeded to sell the city out.... game ended shortly thereafter.

[Ternaugh]

I've been gaming in my town for the last 21 years. I've had players come and go in my games (mainly FH, since '85), and I have participated in various other games as a player. While I've been lucky to have some really great players in that time, I've also had some really strange things happen.

The Unskilled Hero: There's the guy that decided to max out all of his characteristics and use just his everyman skills for a FH character. No amount of explanation, prodding, or outright statements of unplayability would dissuade him. He lasted until the end of the first session, when he realized that his character couldn't do anything remotely useful. He stood up, announced that no other character would work for him, and ripped his character sheet in two.

The Expert: There's the "expert" in Fantasy Hero, who believed in GMing marathon sessions of between 8 and 16 hours. During this time, he expected his players to sit around, and wait for their "on" time. He believed in "realistic" games, that is, a fantasy game in which the characters had to spend hours roleplayingthe harvesting of herbs, cooking of meals, mending of armor, forging of weapons, etc. I lasted one session, before the "demands of college" became too much.

Later, he wished to join one of my games. He brought two friends along to play. After a couple of sessions where he basically avoided all adventuring "hooks", I brought in another player, from a previous gaming group. This time, when an adventuring opportunity was presented, the new player led the two into the fray. It was obviously the most fun that the two friends had experienced in role-playing in a long time. What did our elf do? "I go find a grove of trees, take out my book, and start reading. I'm an elf, after all, so I've got plenty of time". The game ended after that session, mainly because he bullied his two friends into not gaming with me.

The Old Friend: I have a good friend who has gamed with me off and on for the last 20 years. Unfortunately, he's a munchkin powergamer. Give him any rules set for a few days, and he'll figure out a way to break it. His favorite trick is to offer up a construct so apparently innocuous, that you will approve the character without thinking. Only after very special circumstances arise in play, does the true nature of the construct show. Oh, and he has really lucky dice. In a D & D game being run by another friend, his character "crits" about 1 in 3, and only misses about 1 in 10. His weapons usually do "miraculous" damage, well beyond the limitations of mere mortal bell curves. The monsters in that D & D game, I have been told, have had all of their hit dice increased by 50%, just so that they can survive. Now, my method when I GMed him last was a little different. I would ask him to roll dice, and tell me the number. He'd magically roll high, so I'd ask him to roll damage. Also above bell curve. I'd then ask him to apply the damage to his armor, and thank him for helping me target with an NPC opponent. Only two gaming sessions were necessary for the Lords of Probability to balance things out. His dice behaved very well after that.

The propmaster: There's the player, who was a security guard. He was, shall we say, a bit exuberant when his company gave him a big can of Capstun. So, he was playing with it at a session. I told him to take it outside, which he did. About 15 seconds later, however, we heard a hiss, and he fumbled his way back into the apartment. Seems he just wanted to see what would happen....

The Buddy and the Blob: This one was one of those gamer things, a guy that wants to play rpgs, and his friend who would probably be more interested in bowling. In this case, the buddy needed the transportation that his friend could provide, and his friend was willing to sit in, and grunt at the appropriate times. The Blob had one other skill: he could clean any plate of food placed anywhere on the table, usually within 15 minutes. A note on the naming: the title with our gaming group was the Amoeba, while his title with another gaming group was the Blob. Strangely enough, one of my co-workers and I compared notes one day about gamers and gaming groups--and we both knew instantly who these people were.

The Game Designer: This gm had developed a new system, and had the notebooks to prove it. Character creation ran smoothly, combat a little less so, but he wouldn't leave the notebook or copies with anyone to read for more than a few minutes at a time. And then one of the people in the group bought one of the Eternal Champion games from Chaosium--and there it was! Apparently, he had copied by hand everything from the rulebook, and presented it as his own. You should have seen how big his eyes got, when he saw the rulebook sitting on the table. A personal emergency immediately struck, and we were left without our GM.

"I don't think that weapon's 'period'": Then there's the gm that decided to clean his gun during the adventure. This was after he had imbibed a bit of whisky, apparently to loosen up a bit. We waited until we thought it safe to leave, and departed from that game.

JoeG

[Badger]

The promaster was funny.:D had me in a fit of laughter at the end.

[Roy_The_Ruthles]

i like "The old friend", that's a good trick.

[LordGhee]

Our propmasters we called Grenades: dangerous to everyone including themselves.

Friends went shooting with one drove out to the desert found a good spot and went plinking (shooting at things ) our grenade circle around a bit and saw a yellow object and empty his clip from his m1 carbine :bmk: into the object.

My friends heard the racket ran over to the site.

where grenade stated "well i just shot my car" :angst:

No fooling!

[John T]

Our propmasters we called Grenades: dangerous to everyone including themselves.

Friends went shooting with one drove out to the desert found a good spot and went plinking (shooting at things ) our grenade circle around a bit and saw a yellow object and empty his clip from his m1 carbine :bmk: into the object.

My friends heard the racket ran over to the site.

where grenade stated "well i just shot my car" :angst:

No fooling!I've often felt that the awarding of weapon and vehicle licenses should be preceded by a reliable "Common Sense" test...

John T

[J. Chamberlin]

Whoa... I always feel like a bit of a ******* when I bring out the wooden swords to demonstrate "just exactly what the character is trying" - always in slow-mo and always really careful cuz if I break a light or something I'm really gonna feel stupid - that and what the f*ck do I know about swordfighting at speed?

Some dude cleans a gun at the table after a few shots of whisky? I'd be so freaked out I'd probably leave my books there and just go.

j

[FenrisUlf]

Why would anyone bring a real or fake weapon to an RPG meet anyway? Especially when it's _live_ RPGing? That sounds like a recipe for catastrophe.

[John T]

Why would anyone bring a real or fake weapon to an RPG meet anyway? Especially when it's _live_ RPGing? That sounds like a recipe for catastrophe.Sounds like a symptom of psychosis...

John T

[Toadmaster]

Superskrull,


And off we would go...racing after the Cook, Stable Boy, and a few 2nd Level Fighters - and it was a difficult fight. Somehow these people would have magic items. Heck, there was one really frustrating session before we all quit that GM where the "Cook" cast a Fireball (Used it for cooking I guess) at us -- it did 8-9d6...and we were 3rd or 4th. The GM rolled "near Max!!!" -- Like I said...that was pretty much the straw that broke the Games Back."


I just saw Kung Fu Hustle last week, there is a scene where gangsters come into this little town and procede to get the heck kicked out of them by the town tailor, a noodlemaker and bell hop, seems the town was a place for old masters to hide out. It reminded me very much of some old D&D games much like what you describe above, you know where the blacksmith is a "retired" 9th level fighter, the hotel keeper is a "retired" 10th level mage etc etc but the town needs the 2nd level party to come in and save it. :confused:

The movie is pretty good too if you haven't seen it, very much an old hong kong kung fu chop socky movie made with modern special effects. Unless you hate old kung fu movies its worth a rental.

[Curufea]

Coolie (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coolie), not a bellhop :)

And it is a great movie - I will be buying it on DVD. Now I want to go see if I can track down his previous "Shanghai Soccer" and see that.

[ghost-angel]

Coolie (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coolie), not a bellhop :)

And it is a great movie - I will be buying it on DVD. Now I want to go see if I can track down his previous "Shanghai Soccer" and see that.

The title is Shaolin Soccer, you should have an easier time looking under that title. Disney put it out in the US I believe, it might have been under the Miramax studio.. not sure, I gots the Chinese version, I've no idea if any of his other movies have it over either...

Every one of his movies (all bunches of them) are great. God Of Cookery is one of my favorites.

[Lumbering Ox]

Twilight 2000
Guy created a brazilian headhunter character who hates white people, yet joined the Marine Corp and moved to sarge, dispite hardly knowing english.
Often would threaten to kill other PCs even for things that would anoy him in real life. I got on his nerves once, he said he was going to kill my character, he backed down when the GM asked if he was serious, and he did like usual. I was fed up, so I called him a wuss, so he did try to shoot me with the 50 cal sniper rifle. However the GM rules that I was able to swing my 40 mm granade launcher first. Hit to the head. ;)

Duh and Duh
Had a DM who would basicly have NPC's push and push till you were basicly forced to do something you figured your character would have no interest in doing. NPC's had spells, massive power characters around to make sure you don't damage his precoius city etc. I would go into details, but it would take too long.

Duh and Duh 2
Another DM running a module.
ex 1: A Magic User shows up for a second time and starts speaking, We all go "we shoot him" so we can nail him before he teleports away. DM replys patience, insists on the MU finishing, and then teleports away.
ex 2: We go down a tube and at the bottom put up some spears so those who follow would get skewerd. 5 minutes later, monsters are in the room. We point out that, no they are skewered on the spears. Just overrode us.
Module over all
ex 3: I took a paladin, figureing on a dirty harry do anything for good type. He figured more of a barney the purple dinosuar type. I figured fine, I will switch to LG fighter so I can drive the fight vs chaos and evil proper like. Nope, refused.

Duh and duh 3:
Palidin PC wanted to torture NPC, [something which my character above wouldn't push that far BTW.] DM said, you are a Palidin. So right there and then for no other reason, he switched to anti palidin. That was sudden

Call of Cuthulhu
Same palidin to anti pal guy takes a farmer. Everytime we come across a text he grabs it and insists on reading it first, even though there is nothing acedemic in his character background. IIRC I DID have the acedemic character, but book nazi says no books for me. It didn't last long enough but he was plannign to keep the books to himself after he was done with them, not to prevent us from mythos damage, but just to hog it.

Fantasy Hero
Brother of DM would bring in character, then find another PC would shine that week. Next week, he would bring in another character based on said PC, but this week yet another PC would shine. Every week, he would bring in a character perfectly designed to fight the last weeks adventure.
One week his new character met mine. For no real reason he starts getting rude, even calling my character a homosexual. Nothing in his disads to indicate that going up to stranger half giants and calling them gay, among other things would be a usual action.

Duh and Duh 4
I took a hobbit theif subclass begger. Refused to do anythign, yet the other PC's would still let him tag along and take full share of treasure. THat was amusing. "Listen at that door" "What? A bloke could get hurt doing that". They could of had his services for silver pieces but they paid full plat for nothing. [OK I supose I was takign advantage of that flashing PC light on my forehead]

Generic
I notice when I play oddball characters with people who don't know me, they assume tis actually me.
WIth the ultra lasy hobbit, my next character was a hard driving dwarf and people were totally shocked and confused. Its a character idiots, not me.

[Lumbering Ox]

Flashing Blades
Had a character with really high seduction skills, of which in real life I had none.
DM was one of those who insisted that I act everthing out. I don't know what to say "hey baby, can I put it in for you?" "Nice pulse, want to go halfs on a bastard, or do you take it..." My anti seduction skill in real life is rather high ;)

[input.jack]

I was once in a Star Trek RPG where my character is with a landing party on a planet. We meet a local colonist, who is a former Star Fleet officer and is going to give us some information. Apparently, he didnt like my character's Race, because I got asked to wait in the hover-jeep outside while everyone else went in for tea and biscuits (or whatever). Fine by me. Now, I tell the GM that I am staying in the back of the jeep, looking around occasionally, because Ive been ordered to maintain a watch. (The player of the Captain did his best to make it look like my ostracized character was being left outside because I had a mission to perform. Not because the NPC was a jerk).

Anyway, I ask the GM a few questions. How big is the hover-jeep? About as big as a pickup truck. How far is it away from the fence we parked near? About 20 feet. Are there any large trees or shrubs nearby that someone might use for cover? No.

The group plays thru the conversation inside, and when they come out, they are told that my character is "just gone!"

I say something to the order of "Whisky Tango Foxtrot?" and am told that, while I wasnt paying attention (wasnt I on guard duty?) four people had snuck up on me (in broad daylight with no cover) and knocked me out (my character was a combat veteran specializing in hand to hand, yet these were farmers, and no rolls were made).


And thats not all. Later in the adventure, we are exploring an apparently-abandoned space station. One of those "Roanoake" adventures; food still on plates in the galley, video screens playing their last program endlessly, everything looking like it would look when the station was full and in use, but no -people- anywhere. This scenario is being run from a module. The GM is telling people what they see in various rooms. My character opens a door at the end of a hall and peers in.

"Whats in this room?" I ask.
"Nothing". Im told.
"Um...you mean like...nothing of interest? Nothing but furniture? Or -absolutely- nothing?"
"It just says 'Nothing' here *indicates the module*, so I guess theres nothing at all in that room. Its bare".

...I gave up on module-run games then and there.

Later yet and still in the campaign, we discover that we have a saboteur on the ship. Remember, this is Star Trek (Original Series era). The saboteur manages to open the atmosphere reserve and vent the air into space for ten second before we can get it shut down. Then we are hit with these gems:

1. Over 90% of the ships air is gone. Somehow, in 10 seconds.
2. There isnt a way to fabricate more, or any reserve air anywhere.
3. There are only enough space suits and life pods (combined) for about 10% of the crew.
4. When my hand-to-hand specialized character chased the saboteur down and cornered him in the transporter rom, we got into a fist fight. (Very TOS). While we were fighting, in fact on the SECOND round of combat, a Security team arrived...and WIDE ANGLE STUNNED US BOTH. (NOT TOS!)

I quit.

[Captain Obvious]

I was once in a Star Trek RPG where my character is with a landing party on a planet. We meet a local colonist, who is a former Star Fleet officer and is going to give us some information. Apparently, he didnt like my character's Race, because I got asked to wait in the hover-jeep outside while everyone else went in for tea and biscuits (or whatever). Fine by me. Now, I tell the GM that I am staying in the back of the jeep, looking around occasionally, because Ive been ordered to maintain a watch. (The player of the Captain did his best to make it look like my ostracized character was being left outside because I had a mission to perform. Not because the NPC was a jerk).

Anyway, I ask the GM a few questions. How big is the hover-jeep? About as big as a pickup truck. How far is it away from the fence we parked near? About 20 feet. Are there any large trees or shrubs nearby that someone might use for cover? No.

The group plays thru the conversation inside, and when they come out, they are told that my character is "just gone!"

I say something to the order of "Whisky Tango Foxtrot?" and am told that, while I wasnt paying attention (wasnt I on guard duty?) four people had snuck up on me (in broad daylight with no cover) and knocked me out (my character was a combat veteran specializing in hand to hand, yet these were farmers, and no rolls were made).



Was this character's name "Worf" by any chance? :snicker:

[Tim]

Sounds more like the GM was a jerk, not themodules fault.

[Lethosos]

Anytime a GM pulls an obvious move like that, there's a conflict of interest (in this case, he doesn't like Jack very much.) Which means the players are fully in the right to make the GM physically eat the module. No drinks, too.

[input.jack]

No, the character's name was not Worf. Besides, this was an Original Series era campaign. I dont like having to play a fetus ;P

And the GM in question and I were actually pretty good friends, outside the game. I guess I forgot to mention that, in the grand scheme of things, I got somewhat -better- treatment than most of the other players.