Batman's Origin Story

[Trained Chicken]

http://manvsclown.blogspot.com/2006/01/i-fingered-bob-kane.html

I bet you didn't know this.

[Fuzzy Gnome]

The true origin of Batman:
Batman leaves a message on his computer saying that Spoiler should immediately steal Metron's travel chair. After Spoiler reads the message and leaves, Batman alters the message to read that Spoiler should in fact not attempt such a thing because it's really pointless and stupid, giving him evidence to use to mock her later.
Spoiler succeeds, so Batman uses the travel chair to travel into the past. He disguises himself as Joe Chill and murders Thomas and Martha Wayne, assuring Batman his place as Dark Avenger of the Night.

[TaxiMan]

But Batman couldn't get close to hurting Superman, because Batman isn't magically strong! Of course, Superman isn't that susceptible to magic, he only faked losing to Captain Marvel. And Thor? as if! Poser!!

[Fuzzy Gnome]

Magically strong? He just does it off panel!