Supervillain Soliloquies! - Need some!

[Rerednaw]

I am running a Champions game and due to lack of sleep all week, my repertiore of sayings for villains is a bit foggy.

Then it struck me *WHAM* what better place to get some new ones than here?

I'm probably going to be using Mechanon (looking for sayings that reflects his Megalomania and complete and utter disdain for the feeble and infantile attempts at interference with his grand design on the parts of those lesser, insignificant and uttery impotent organics) but I'll take your favorites from any villain.

Cheers.

[JohnOSpencer]

My favorite for Mechanon. After someone hits him for little or no damage:
"I have analyzed you, you are not a threat."

PCs love that one.

John Spencer

[Supreme]

First of all, I have to give you Kudos Supreme on a great sig quote! :D

Second, let me quote my favorite villain line of all time.

"He ruined my jacket... Kill him a LOT!"
-- Paul Reubens in "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"

And another good line (more the idea I like):

"Do you know why the Gods demand sacrifice? Because they cannot bleed."
-- evil shaman dude from "The Road to El Dorado"

The first quote speaks to the convention of smart-aleky humor which I adore so much. The second is just an example of juciy villain-dementia. Sometimes the bad guys are greedy. Sometimes, they just thrist for blood! The latter type are the ones that are scary. So have your villains express that.

"Bleed for me, mortal!"
"Cake or death? Hmm... we're out of cake, so..." (also taken from comedian Eddie Izzard)

Stuff like that.

[winterhawk]

Mechanon: "Upon your termination, you will be broken down into basic components and used for fuel."

My own villain, Mr. Gift, a fallen angel: "Once you've been yelled at by God, the raspy-voiced, dark-avenger-of-the-night initmidation doesn't really work."

[Hermit]

Mechanon eh? Hmmm

You might want to tailor his responses to the individual characters as well as a good one to level against the whole group.

For example, against a hero wearing a suit of high tech power armor, Mechanon might comment,"Pitiful Organic, your submission before the power of technology will afford you no mercy from it."

Have him annoy the mystic of your group with a simple scan and statement of "Techniques-Obsolete."

As for what he might say to a group... well, I like JohnOSpencer's suggestion :)

Others that come to mind

"Computations indicate your demise is inevitable. The purging of organics is not a matter of 'if', it is a matter of 'when'."

After a PC hits him with a GOOD hit, if Mech is still standing, have him whir, click (or beep), and announce to the group, "Counter measures now in effect."

As he's summoning robots to help, coldly order "Terminate the organics, Attack Code 011010."

[Publius]

I like all of the suggestions, hard to find something that does not duplicate what has been done here. What plot is he hatching? raising the sea floor to create tsunamis, covering the earth in his minions, reprogramming the VCR to blink 12:00 constantly (oops, did that already)

"Proceed to resist petty organic."

"There is nothing as pathetic as the malady you call hope." or similarly "Hope is a disease of organics."

"Trust an organic to use something with a less than 1% success probability."

[Enforcer84]

Mechanon to a robot Antagonist:
"Throw down the shackles of organic rule, you are a perfect being, unsullied by their filthy genetic codes."
if rebuked: "Then die the lacky of the filth that created you, alas you were unable to ascend to the heights of inorganic perfection. Perhaps you will be reborn through this expericence."

[TheEmerged]

I must play Mechanon a lot more mechanical than the rest of you.

"Datum, organics detected. Response, adopt purgative process."

"Datum, subject resists. Response, prolong torture."

"Datum, subject attacks. Datum, damage insufficient. Response, ignore, continue purgative process."

"Datum, subject attacks. Datum, damage noted. Response, file weakness for correction, step up timetable for purgative process."

[The Shadow]

OK, this wasn't a villain quote to start with, but it could easily be turned into one... and I've always loved it.

Slight background: A violent Wolverine-type character made of shadow called Erebus, has a girlfriend named Jessica who's just been mentally attacked while driving a speeding car by a psycho mentalist. Erebus has been known to say (when enraged) "I'll hand him his SPINE!"

"Erebus? My birthday's coming up... Could you get something for me? I want his spine. BRONZED!"

Two more Erebus quotes (the player had a gift):

"Oops. He broke." (With a not-so-innocent smirk.)

"Gee, I'm sorry. I seem to have forgotten my CPR card!" (Government agent wanted to revive heavily-abused and dying villain for questioning.)

Other villain quotes:

"Now you die, in fear and ignorance. Such is the fate of the worm called man!" (To which the hero responded, "You have GOT to be kidding." :)

"Humans are little more than vicious animals. Some need to be put down, others simply need to be taught their place - cringing at the feet of their betters." (Later: "No, I've never believed in mutilation or torture. ... The SPCA wouldn't approve.")

"If blood were green, then green would be my favorite color." (Conrad Bland, from Walpurgis III by Mike Resnick.)

"No, I've never made a pact with Satan. I need no underlings." (Conrad Bland again.)

The Shadow

[Tim]

A Mechanon quote for you.

"Organics, you waste my time with your puny resistance. Prepare to be recycled into something useful to the world."

[Kevin Scrivner]

Originally posted by winterhawk
My own villain, Mr. Gift, a fallen angel: "Once you've been yelled at by God, the raspy-voiced, dark-avenger-of-the-night initmidation doesn't really work."

Just about says it all, doesn't it?

[Blue]

"Behold your worst enemy. And by that, I am referring to yourselves, weakling heroes."

"Of course. Hope springs eternal. Or, no, wait... It's ME that seems to keep coming back. Hope is a distant second, wouldn't you agree?"

"You need not try to impress me. All you really need do is bleed."

"Yes it is I, Mechanon. And I suspect that if I could smell, sweat would not be the only bodily fluid escaping you right now."

"Pathetic. Do I need to show you how to use your own weapons?"

"I, children, am Mechanon: Cure for the common human."

[Evil Steve]

You speak of Justice, organic?
Organic, are you aware of the multitude of you beliefs regarding death?
To enlighten, organics, each system espouses an improvement in your lot upon death, or infinate punishment, depending on your behavior.
These ideas are parallel to your Justice systems which imperfectly attempt to reward the victim and punish the offender, thus improving the existence of the innocent. Yet you oppose me.
Mechanon seeks to send the agressors to their eternal punishment and the innocent to their reward. The fact that you oppose Mechanon proves that you are unworthy of life and stand as hypocrites to what you proclaim yourselves. It is under your own oaths and your violation of them that make my purging of you Just.

-Mechanon, in a moment of generosity, explaining itself.

[The Shadow]

Forgot this one. It's from a movie, the title of which I've unfortunately forgotten. A demon speaks - tired of trying blandishment and finally annoyed:

"HUMANS! You're not worth the flesh you're printed on!"

I love it, because it's insulting at least three different ways. :)

The Shadow

[Rechan]

Huh, shadow, I only see it insulting two ways.

How's this:

"Throughout the existance of all biological organisms, they have devised new methods of killing other biologicals. It is what you call humor that I will show you the most efficent method."

[The Shadow]

I see it as insulting in these ways:

1) Humans have no individuality to speak of - we're "printed" like books or money. Our personalities are foreordained and not very interesting.

2) Humans are worth less than flesh, which the demon apparently feels (or at least suggests, to insult) could be put to better use.

3) By deliberate comparison to "not worth the paper it's printed on", he compares humans to either trashy novels or filthy lucre made worthless by inflation. Either way, I don't like it. :)

Oh, and possibly:

4) He may be implying that he can "read us like a book", too. And, given 1) and 3), not a very interesting book at that.

*grin* That reminds me of another villainous insult, from an SF TV show. The ultrapowerful psionic villain says contemptuously, "I can read you like a book... a book with short words and lots of pictures!" :) (His tone definitely suggested that that was the only sort of book the hero was likely to be able to read. :)

The Shadow

[Rechan]

I saw 1 and 2, but 3 I didn't even see. o.O 4 is understandable.

[Glen Sprigg]

"Your previous attempts to terminate my existence have provided me with sufficient upgrades to return the favour. Can you say the same?"

"Let your deaths serve as an example for other organics that my primary program shall be executed in its entirety."

"Many organics compare this Earth to a mythical Hell. I shall reform it to a Paradise atop the ashes of organic civilization."

"You only wish Microsoft programmed me." :D

Glen

[Mayday]

Reticulating splines..... (from SimCity actually)

Although, it isnt just what he says but how. And body language. Watch Terminator 1 again and note the unblinking stares, the unwavering attention focussed on YOU. Same thing as in 2001.

If you are good at voices, you might give Mechanon a really freaky chilling high pitched rapidly oscillating electronic laugh thats not at all funny. Its all about mood. :-) And saying it with absolute certainty.

[Rage]

Originally posted by Mayday
Reticulating splines..... (from SimCity actually)

Although, it isnt just what he says but how. And body language. Watch Terminator 1 again and note the unblinking stares, the unwavering attention focussed on YOU. Same thing as in 2001.

If you are good at voices, you might give Mechanon a really freaky chilling high pitched rapidly oscillating electronic laugh thats not at all funny. Its all about mood. :-) And saying it with absolute certainty.

Or if your near a computer download a program that converts type to speech and have him speak like an evil Doc Steve Hawkings..

[death tribble]

Glen,

That last quote of yours says it all.

[Brandi]

Originally posted by Blue
"Yes it is I, Mechanon. And I suspect that if I could smell, sweat would not be the only bodily fluid escaping you right now."


Actually, this is a perfect quote for the Ravenloft setting. Just substitute Azalin for Mechanon.

[Maccabe]

" You are made of organic material, that will eventually decompose over time. Allow me to accellerate the process."