What I learned playing a cleric

[Jomster]

The "What I learned playing a..." threads from the Champions forum have proved real winners... hats off to Bloodstone for starting them up.

To honour and continue the tradition, here's one for everyone's favourite religious specialist, the cleric.

When someone laughs at you for being a softy priest, that's the moment you draw your battle hammer and reveal that, actually, you worship the God of War! :)

[Lethosos]

People will keep looking at you as a source of healing. Fine, but make sure that it isn't the only thing you offer to the party!

[Jomster]

Lethosos

People will keep looking at you as a source of healing. Fine, but make sure that it isn't the only thing you offer to the party!

That's a good point. It gets pretty unsatisfactory pretty quickly if everyone else just looks at you as "healing on legs".

[Lumbering Ox]

Or

Change your name to medic. Accept the inevitable.

[AmadanNaBriona]

"Cleric" is a D&D Class. Don't expect your local "friendly" priestess of The Goddess of Bloody Vengance to do much healing or restrict herself to blunt weapons.
She might however be REAL useful when the Minions of Evil (tm) invade.

[Frenchman]

Just because you have magic doesn't mean you can't get your weapon(s) dirty

[Frenchman]

No Mage = Dead Mage = You didn't do your job

[Curufea]

The Church has power. Even if the priest does not.

[Bismark]

Battle priests with serious armour [7 DEF double mail :) ] and major-league weapons [1-Hex AE Greataxe of Cleaving :thumbup: ] a happy party make... (especially the party members cowering in the rear ;) )

[Enforcer84]

Any character of any class in my hands fancies himself a fighter!

[Jomster]

Starting up as a cleric can lead to some cool ideas for new gods. Your GM can then shamelessly pilfer these for interesting adventure plots!

[Lucius]

Your Clerical Staff is very important.

Hire the best people, treat them well, reward good work, and you will suffer from few clerical errors.

Lucius Alexander

The palindromedary quietly walks away from Lucius, shaking its heads.

[Old Man]

Heal the stupid fighter because he can usually hit harder than you.

[Old Man]

Heal the stupid mage because he can usually cast more killer spells than you.

[Old Man]

Let the stupid thief die, he'd just steal your **** anyway.

[Old Man]

From playing a cleric, I learned that many players are control freaks who want to tell you how to design and play your character, and get really mad when you ignore them.

[Roter Baron]

God is a McDonald's drive-thru:

GOD: "What can I do for you, son?"
Cleric:" Yeah, well .. I'll take two Heal Light Wounds, one Holy Word, a Blessing, two Hold Person and ... (whispering) ... what? ... Yeah, right, guys: And a Total Healng spell!"
GOD: " You wanna Turn Undead with that?"
Cleric: " Yes. Well, make that two, supersize. To-go."
GOD: "So be it!"

[AmadanNaBriona]

God is a McDonald's drive-thru:

GOD: "What can I do for you, son?"
Cleric:" Yeah, well .. I'll take two Heal Light Wounds, one Holy Word, a Blessing, two Hold Person and ... (whispering) ... what? ... Yeah, right, guys: And a Total Healng spell!"
GOD: " You wanna Turn Undead with that?"
Cleric: " Yes. Well, make that two, supersize. To-go."
GOD: "So be it!"

Yeah, but when you discover while casting that God screwed up your order and gave you two Cause Light Wounds spells, its a bit worse than finding unwanted pickles on your burger...

[Roter Baron]

Yeah, but both sucks big time!

[Jomster]

As GM, don't let your PCs have direct conversation with their god too often... otherwise things may take an unexpected turn, witness the McBurger conversation above! :)

[CourtFool]

Do not try to convert party members to your religion because it is not part of your GM's story arch.

[Outsider]

Find out if your new GM (or his buds) have a chip on their shoulder about organized religion before deciding to play a cleric who takes his religion seriously. If they do, dont. If you must, make your cleric so bland and agreeable that nothing offends him and he offends nobody.

[dlapine]

I learned that Orcs might be converted, if your cleric stomps their leader hard enough.

[Jomster]

I learned that Orcs might be converted, if your cleric stomps their leader hard enough.

Or to paraphrase... It's amazing how a little gratuitous violence can help others find their faith, if only temporarily!

What you then need is a holy power to "Detect believer" to weed out the deceiving non-believers from the honourable converted!

[Old Man]

You don't need the holy power to do it, you just need to claim you do. *points* "Odin has spoken to me in a dream! That man is a deceiving non-believer!" "Burn the heretic!!!"

[gojira]

You don't need the holy power to do it, you just need to claim you do. *points* "Odin has spoken to me in a dream! That man is a deceiving non-believer!" "Burn the heretic!!!"

Well, yeah, that's the traditional way of doing it.

[Curufea]

If you ever meet your God or Goddess. Show respect.

[Lucius]

That I don't HAVE to play a "Cleric" as defined by D&D

A religiously oriented character does not HAVE to have "spells."
A character good at healing people does not HAVE to be some kind of priest, nor do they HAVE to wear armor or be exceptionally good at fighting.
Contrariwise, a warrior who is skilled with a sword can also have First Aid, Herblore, and possibly even (setting permitting) a Healing Spell.

I'm not playing D&D anymore, and I haven't been for 20 years. Instead of having to use one of a limited number of character concepts concocted by the game designer, I can come up with any character concept I choose, give it the abilities justified by the concept, and if the Game Operations Director agrees it's reasonable, I'm ready to play.

Lucius Alexander

Will my First Aid AKA Paramedic skill help me treat the palindromedary if it gets hit by that crab cannon?

[Wilfred_Death]

Maybe don't take 20 Points of Fanatic.........

Don't call the leader of the other state religion an 'infidel heretic'

Don't investigate your superiors in the militant order for latent heretical tendencies

Don't Teleport into the monastery whilst riding your horse, materialise on the rectory table duing luncheon and say "I have a message from God" - even if you do

Don't let the other crazy cleric in the party let his griffin near your favourite horse.

If You have, remove Horse remains from Griffin's eyrie, before spending all your loot on having said horse ressurected. Horses are scared of heights you know and getting them down is a pain

When in town and you feel Immanent Evil, do not cast your 'Detect Spiritual Alignment' Sense vison Spell, and declaare to the GM that you attack all those you percieve to be evil. Especially don't do this if you are able to go beserk. And especially not if evil children are present.

When sighting the totem beast of your god's arch rival / arch enemy...
Perhaps run rather than "CHARGE!" - just how big was that dragon anyways?

Don't Imagine you are ELijah, when the village kids call you baldy!, or interrupt your rather long casting time crop growth spells.

Do not make healthy life giving Mushroom soup for the villages where you live, when you have a hangover ( fumble Herbalism repeatedly really bad )
And If you do , make sure you have enough 'pre-packaged healing' so that you don't risk mispronouncing your healing spells....
Villagers don't really appreciate the death of their children....
Reputations travel fast too.

When your god provides you with a new horse, do not ever talk to the travelling magic bean salesman.....

{ when Live role playing }
Don't Invoke the divine wrath of your god so loudly that you frighten the non-roleplaying 'normals' with children - also walking through the same woods.

Don't be seen by same 'normals' leading around your 2 cute female familiars on their hands and knees, whilst carrying a mace and making threats at the approcahing adventurers.

DOn't really insist that the wounded actually have to drink your potions for versimilitude....

Probably do carry a spare copy of the Holy Five Bladed Gauntlet of Saint Frederick,/ aka St. Englund in your spell bag.
It takes a while to pull out of the bag and put on, - so you need faithful defenders, but it does inspire fear and terror in rampaging Orcs.
It also inspires fear and terror in your fellow aventurers.

Same glove is also useful when wounded compatriots do not want to return to battle after a 'feeble' healing spell, Helps convince them to rejoin the fray..