SatinKitty

Crazy Cat Lady in Training

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, Jan 15th, '12 at 06:23 PM (245 Views)

I guess I haven't had enough yet.
I buy or prepare good meals but I can't seem to make myself eat them. I made a nice dinner tonight but only ate a few bites. I had a good turkey club sandwich for lunch today but was only able to eat one quarter. True, the quarter consisted of three layers and three pieces of bread, so it was not a small portion, but my Mom told me not to waste food. I have been wasting a lot of it.
So I need to look at why I have little appetite for real food these days and why even when I like the food I can't seem to make myself eat.
Could it be depression ? I have felt pretty good this past week and I had a good weekend if you don't count the bad headache I had today, so there must be more to it.
The new medication maybe ? It is a stimulant and those can kill your appetite. The problem is it doesn't seem to affect the candy and cake appetite.
But I still buy more than I eat. This big hunk of chocolate cheesecake has been sitting untouched in the fridge for days. I'm quite intimidated by it. OddHat is slowly working his way through the Godivas in the fridge drawer. Covering them with a towel doesn't seem to help. There are also other goodies untouched. My eyes are bigger than my tummy.
The worst part of it is that I have looked over my early blog entries and I was in this exact place nearly four years ago. And three years ago. And two.
What is the secret ? What am I missing ? Why do I seem to have no choice when it comes right down to it whether to eat candy and cake and cookies or to abstain ?
I think the Writer at Crack said it when he said this habit is filling a need. You can't just decide to live without getting your needs met. If you do, biology will take over and make you miserable and you will binge.
So I guess I need to find out what need sweets fill for me and figure out a way to get it met another way.
Another thing I do is shop. I have spent an ungodly amount of money this month and last month.
Take away sweets and shopping and what will happen ?
I think the behavior would just switch to something else. An addiction.
So I'm not sure how to proceed at this point.
I need to find healthy habits that are just as satisfying.
Suggestions ?

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Comments

csyphrett - Jan 15th, '12 06:39 PM
The only habit I have is writing. I have lost most of the other things I like to do. Just dont have the money for them.

is there a library close by you can walk to? The boy and I like to hang out and play computer games on Saturdays.
CES
Tom - Jan 16th, '12 04:34 PM
There is no secret or magic answers. There is only trying and discovering.

I didn't set out to become a runner. I just wanted something that would help boost my endurance for martial arts and running was my least objectionable option - and it became my addiction.

The three months I couldn't run after hurting my knee were misery on top of the pain I was in. Now I'm back to working myself back up to where I was before and loving it because I can run again.
casualplayer - Jan 18th, '12 10:25 AM
Everyone has their obsessions. Ideally you direct those energies toward a productive outlet that you choose rather than let them emerge through the cracks.

You are going to have to explore to find the substitute for binge eating and shopping. If you can try to find out what it is that you find satisfying about those behaviors, likely replacements will appear. Possibly turn eating into a social event where you're talking with friends between bites and you'll find yourself eating better foods and consuming them over a longer period of time. Turn shopping into a social event where you can shop vicariously through your companions and won't feel the need to always purchase something.

You should ditch the temptations: the Godivas, the cheesecake, the catalogs and the sales ads. That's like trying to sober up at a cocktail party. Surround yourself with positive reinforcement and politely tell the negative to go take a hike.
Derek Hiemforth - Jan 18th, '12 01:26 PM
While you admittedly can't be too easy on yourself (since you have to be the one to make the changes), it's also important not to be too hard on yourself either. When negative habits, behaviors, thought patterns, etc. have built up over 49 years, you can't realistically expect them to be eradicated overnight. Just keep at it. Every positive change, no matter how small, is a step in the right direction.

Imagine it this way... Even if it took you five years to get to the point where most of your habits and behaviors were generally healthy ones, think how much better off you'd be at that point than you'd be if you had continued on for those five years without making any changes.

It doesn't need to happen all at once. It just needs to happen.