SatinKitty

I actually had almost the opposite problem. For the longest time I obsessively put everyone ahead of myself, tried to make them all happy and satisfy their needs, often to my own detriment. I eventually identified elements of my own personality, and events from my past, which led to that behaviour. Once I'd identified them they lost much of their power over me, and it became much easier to decide when it was right to put myself first.

Based on that experience, I suggest that you explore why what other people think of you matters so much, beyond the easy, superficial explanations. What elements from your past, your experiences, have helped shape this part of your personality and made it so powerful? Shining a light on them may give you more control over them.

That's pretty standard Social Anxiety, I think that just about everyone has it to some degree. Working in Retail sales helped me slay that particular dragon. I still worry about what people think about me at times, but I can just decide to not care. Sometimes when it's bothering me most, I just tell myself. "F- them if they don't like me!" I would rather show them the real me and have them reject that than show them a 'mask' that gives them what they expect. It isn't always the easiest way to live, but I do get to be me.