Log-Man

I'm actually pretty proud of this one, so I wanted to save it here

I am the very model of a modern spider crime fighter
My storyline is in the hands of a sadistic hack writer
When Mary Jane arrives tonight I hope that I will not fight her
I know that I'm a punching bag, my future cannot get brighter

I'm very well acquainted, too, with super criminality
I must defend the city from licentious immorality
The villains that I face each night are detestable and odious
With no redeeming qualities, they're really parsimonious!

With no redeeming qualities they're really parsimonious
With no redeeming qualities they're really parsimonious
With no redeeming qualities they're really parsimonious
With no redeeming qualities they're really parsimonimonious

I'm very good at keeping all my secrets from my family
I know my boss would freak if he ever discovered it was me
In short, my story's villainous and secretive and so triter
I am the very model of a modern spider crime fighter!