hooligan x

So one of my friends from work was yap-yap-yapping about how she is a better cook than I. I disagreed, she started talking smack, and an Iron Chef challenge was issued.

A chairman was selected, judges chosen, and a date set. The standard rules were modified to allow for the limitations of non-stadium kitchens We were told the theme ingredient on day before to allow time to shop. Cooking could start at 6 am and "pencils down" was twelve hours later. We were to do four dishes, at least two featuring the ingredient.

On Friday, I was informed that I would be competing in Battle Butternut Squash!

My menu was planned in a few minutes: Dill Butternut soup with Cashews & Pignolis, Achiote Pork with Butternut Tortillas, Butternut & Chicken Korma, and a Butternut Crepe w/ Orange Mascarpone filling. Friday night drinking and a snow storm forced me to postpone the shopping until the morning.

Saturday, I slept late, went shopping, marinated my pork, had crazy sex with the girlfriend, fell asleep, woke up late and started to cook. The pig got wrapped in foil and shoved in the oven, squash was chopped and thrown in boiling water, and orange peel & ginger were simmered in simple syrup.

I drained the squash and started my soup Cashews, pine nuts and chopped onion were sauteed in olive oil I reserved some of the boiled squash for my tortillas and crepes and added the rest to the nut/onion mixture. Chopped dill and chicken stock were added and the whole mess was pureed. Salt, nutneg, and heavy cream were added and the soup was finished.

Some of the reserved squash was added to lard, flour, and baking powder to start the tortillas. as the little orange globs sat under a warm towel to rise, I cubed the last squash and started my korma. Squash, chicken, & onion were browned in ghee, garum massala & ground cloves were added with a little curry powder and a fist full of dried currants. Cream was added and the whole thing was set to simmer on low.

Tortillas were rolled out and placed on a hot dry griddle. Eggs, milk and flour were whisked together and the worlds oddest-shaped crepes were born. I have never made crepes before and it showed. Mascarpone and ricotta were mixed with the orange-ginger syrup and piped into the crepes just as "pencils down" was called.

The judges and my opponent arrived and she won the toss she presented her dishes first. A baby spinach salad with blood oranges, avocado, and a raspberry vinaigrette was followed by garlic stuffed mushrooms, butternut ravioli in a hazelnut butter sauce, and a butternut apple crisp. Al were very tasty but not enough to with the culinary grudge fuck we call Iron Chef Waterbury. As I graciously accepted my ribbon and jeweled spatula, my opponent pouted and whined about less than partial judging

Well, at least the lunchroom will be quiet on Monday.