Worst. Swords and Sorcery. Ever.

[FenrisUlf]

Well, having posted what turned out to be a surprisingly robust thread on the /best/ heroic fantasy, now I'm curious as to what you folks think of as the /worst/ heroic fantasy ever.

Though that might be a very long list, I will narrow it down by asking that you not post the 'cheese' -- the stuff that is bad but in a good way (i.e., no MST3K material). I'm asking for the just plain *bad* -- the books that you either tossed in the direction of the nearest trashcan or that made you want to track the author down to demand he return the hours you put into reading the book or seeing the movie.

[joen00b]

I offer you the Ator movies which are so bad you will be stabbing yourself in the eyes to take away the horror.

These are from the 80's at some point and me and some friends watched them. Now, usually, to the 12 year old mind, these movies are cool, hell, I watched and enjoyed every ninja movie from the 80's, and that's saying something! But, these Ator movies were extremely BAD! Ator, some barbarian/beastmaster/blademaster/scientist type guy does all sorts of fantastical things like builds working Hang Gliders and, no BS, Atomic Bombs (as memory serves).

Have all the fun you want with them, no one else will touch these films.

Oh yeah, Conan the Destroyer was a waste of Celluloid too, and Red Sonja wasn't all that great either.

[Chris Goodwin]

The Dungeonmaster. Starring Richard Moll (aka Bull from "Night Court") as a dark lord. It was bad and not in a "so bad it's funny" way.

The Shanarra books.

[misterdeath]

Wheel of Time by Jordan.

D

[Sketchpad]

Originally posted by archer
The Dungeonmaster. Starring Richard Moll (aka Bull from "Night Court") as a dark lord. It was bad and not in a "so bad it's funny" way.

The Shanarra books.

Ugh ... that was a bad movie ... Hawk the Slayer is in there too ...

But Shanarra?

[Chris Goodwin]

I practically launched Sword of Shanarra across the room when I first read it. That was a sack of tripe. Tolkien pastiche, and not even Tolkien pastiche done well.

[Talon]

I did launch the last Amber book across the room after finishing it.

Also, the Memory, Sorrow, and Thorn series from Tad Williams. The sad thing is that the first two books and most of the third book are excellent, way above average writing for the genre. Then, the last 50 or so pages manage to, in an Alien-3-esque fashion, ruin the entirety of the series with their awfulness.

[Bartman]

Originally posted by Sketchpad
Ugh ... that was a bad movie ... Hawk the Slayer is in there too ...

I always liked Hawk the Slayer for the cheese factor. The autofire elf, the rubber ball and hoola-hoop magical effects, the completely non-sensical plot, Jack Valence chewing up the scenery in every scene. Sure it was a bad movie, but it had great camp value.

[Old Man]

Originally posted by archer

The Shanarra books.

Agreed. I don't understand how that guy kept getting them published. He must have incriminating pictures of the publisher.

Also any Forgotten Realms book by Ed Greenwood.

[irishspy]

Originally posted by FenrisUlf
Well, having posted what turned out to be a surprisingly robust thread on the /best/ heroic fantasy, now I'm curious as to what you folks think of as the /worst/ heroic fantasy ever.

The worst I've read would either be Harry Turtledove's very early novels under the name "Eric Iverson" (as I recall), or Gary Gygax's "Gord the Rogue" series. Both were awful beyond words.

[Bartman]

Originally posted by Old Man
Agreed. I don't understand how that guy kept getting them published. He must have incriminating pictures of the publisher.

One reason. As bad as the original was it still sold well. Apparently LotR for dummies was a successful book idea.

And he has gotten significantly better at writing. Even the second book was a significant step up from the first. Although he still isn't IMO a particularly good writer, he is readable. I'd be willing to sit down and re-read any of his Shannara (excepting the first one) or Magic Kingdom books. I don't actually plan on doing that because life is short and there are authors I would much rather read or re-read.

The real question is how Jordon and Goodkind are still selling books.

[misterdeath]

Originally posted by Old Man
Also any Forgotten Realms book by Ed Greenwood.

the vast majority of Forgotten Realms novels, period.

D

[Muldegian]

I am sure someone here has the link to THE WORST FANTASY EVER!! It is a net posted story....If you can get past a paragraph or two then you have really accomplished something and given yourself a few Psych Lims to boot.

Add another to the Shannara List.

The movies except Conan all stink. I am kiinda partial to the Conan one though. He-Man needs to be mentioned.

Robin Hobbs assassian books really bite IMO but I will likely be alone in that view.

A=hhhh, so much garbage.

[Briguy123]

There were a multitude of direct to video Sword and Sorcery movies made in the 80's and they were all bad. Some of the worst were:

• Gor
  Deathstalker I-IV (fantasy soft-core porn)
  The Barbarian Brothers
  Beastmaster II

Then there were those that were released in theatres. These were equally as bad.

• Krull
  Clash of the Titans
  Dungeonmaster
  Sword of the Valiant

Unfortunately, I have a sick fascination with bad movies and I have seen every one of those that I listed as well as Hawk the Slayer and all the Ator movies. I have issues.

[Catseye]

Worst Books: The Thomas Covenant series. The protagonist is a self-involved, whiney rapist. And it goes down from there (I'm told by people who know the author that there are "reasons" why he wrote what he did, but I really don't find a trip through such a diseased mind either interesting or enjoyable.)

Worst Movie: TOR, Hunter from the Future. Definately. With Sheenah of the Jungle and Krull coming in not far after.