Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

[jkwleisemann]

Usually I see it related to phone sex, which is why I used it for the (admittedly weak) joke.

[Shadow Hawk]

Given how horrible Foxbat is at planning, it'd probably turn out that his phone chat service payed the caller $3 a minute...

[matrix3]

Given how horrible Foxbat is at planning, it'd probably turn out that his phone chat service payed the caller $3 a minute...

No, no, he's not that bad.

...it just relays through a Malaysian phone service that charge $4.50 a minute...

[pinecone]

Given how horrible Foxbat is at planning, it'd probably turn out that his phone chat service payed the caller $3 a minute...

So he has to rob a bank to pay all his callers....

[ghost-angel]

Been a while, there's a backlog of quotes in my gaming notepad, some without names of who said 'em.

The Defenders Champions Game:
GM: I didn't realize I'd done that on purpose.

Inertia (?): To the people fleeing I go boogety.

someone: No, I believe that 3 is pronounced WOOHOO

Inertia and Enimga in Secret IDs going to get an errant teenager (their teammate) who has run away to live in a hotel. Her new friend has threatened to call the front desk.
Intertia (in secret ID): Yes, I live in fear of the front desk.

Dreamweaver has lost her powers (precog) and laments that they're useless. Intertia thinks back to the recent fight with Dr. D and what should could do with precognition. Intertia was hit hard, buried 3-4 Hexes into a mountain and knocked out cold by Dr. D. Mostly because she opted not to Dodge that Phase.

Inertia: No, I'd have dodged.

The Sunday Cyberpunk/Horror Game:

J: I heard if I help this Nigerian guy I get these pills.
B: . . . That I can use to pay my mortgage?

G: My character's next duplicate is going to be named Vlad Uberstomp!
someone: That's it, you're off the team.

Back to the Defenders:

Promethean: I'm going to make my non-stealth stealth roll to get back into the closet.

Built To Last and an NPC geek out.
GM: And you guys talk techno babble. The GM is not going to talk techno babble.
Built To Last: But I put so many points into it.

Built To Last: The wicked are far from resuce... uh.... give me two minutes.

Inertia: She's really cool. I'm going to be sad when she gets kidnapped. . . Or when she turns out to be the supervillain.

[Karmakaze]

Our team mentalist has just checked out some odd behavior in our sparring partners and have discovered that they're actually villains in disguise intent on killing us.

Me: Sadly, I don't know what she knows, so it's still with the kid gloves. I'll fire off my stun wave again.
Player 2 - What, did you take "PsychLim:Cannot conflate OOC with IC knowledge"? Did you at least get points for that?

[CrosshairCollie]

Me: "That's right, she's making a rock garden. Fortunately, they're not very hard to grow."
Jeff: "Yeah, but when they die, it's REALLY embarrassing."

[NestorDRod]

Me: "That's right, she's making a rock garden. Fortunately, they're not very hard to grow."
Jeff: "Yeah, but when they die, it's REALLY embarrassing."

Oh God, that reminds me of an old SF RPG I played in, where one of the characters was a silicon-based organism with intelligence the equivalent of 5 in Hero.

One of the stories told about him:

"He walked into a rock garden and thought it was a cocktail party."

"Yeah, but he had to leave 'cause the conversation was over his head."

[Shadow Hawk]

This weeks game session, 4th edition DnD.

GM: You've heard a plethora of rumors about these mountains.
Ciaphas: What's a plethora?
Torm: Mountain goblins. Tougher than standard goblins, but usually not really evil.
Aurther: Not good, though, very xenophobic.
Ciaphas: Thanks.
GM:
Party:

Later...
GM: You are confronted by a group of what look like Goblins, but with rock grey skin.
Torm: Does anyone speak Plethora?
Ciaphas: I speak Goblin, would that work?
Aurther: Worth a try, it's a dialect.
Ciaphas: I ask who they are and what they want.
GM: "We are the Plethora..."
Party:

Later still...
Jarl: How was I to know that fireball spells would set dry grass on fire?

[Major Tom]

Something tells me that Jarl skipped a certain class in Adventurer's School --
the one where the teacher covered the math lesson that goes "Fire + Dry
Grass = Creatures Large And Small Running Insanely For Their Lives".



Major Tom

[ghost-angel]

From tonights Cyberpunk Horror Trans-Dimensional Apocalypse game...

Tweezer (OOC): There's nothing weirder than a Jamaican who wants to live in an anime.

Tweezer: Yeah, they're going to have to come up with a name for removing lightbulbs.
Sergei: Really?!
Tweezer: No.

Sergei: Metrosexual does not mean gay.
Aran: Yeah, it's the new word for people who want to have sex with buildings.

Sergei: Want to come?
Tweezer: No, with your liquor cabinet I'm great.
Sergei: No. Come with us.

Aran (To Tracy): Don't distract yourself by thinking.
(this is an actual danger)

Sergei (about Tracy): Holy Crap! You're Tank Girl!
(in a panicked tone of voice no less)

Tweezer: Who smuggles drugs INTO the Bahamas?!

Tracy is left to plan the distraction to throw the bad guys off the groups trail.
Tracy: OK, expenses were 7.95$ for two boxes of Oreo Cookies, one chocolate covered and one double stuffed. I put those in the fancy box with a note "your favorite cookies, love mom." Next is 25$ to mail the box from the Bahamas to a P.O. Box in New Hampshire, I put the fancy box in a normal package box. Then 100$ to get the package to the air strip via Fast Courier. Last, was 6,000$ to smuggle the box into the Bahamas in the first place. The pilot's name is Carl, he leaves in four hours. Slow enough for them to discover our flight out, fast enough that they can't stop it.

[Lonewalker]

Some quotes from our P4ND0R4 campaign - a Pulps/Champions game run by QuerySphinx.

Characters include:

Trenton Williams - an archeologist (in the Indiana Jones tradition) with theories about Atlantis.
Samuel Sterling - an ex-Army rifleman turned ex-Foreign Legionnaire turned mercenary.
Henry Octenshin - professional student specializing in biochemistry and animal science...also a student of Monkey kung-fu.
Davis Wilmott - wealthy spymaster working for the American government.

---

After packing three pistols and a tomahawk before a meeting...
Sterling: What? I'm leaving my rifle.
GM: He's loaded for scientist.

The slightly eccentric Doctor Polk offers the PCs more information about the strange Zeta Radiation...
Williams: We'd like to know more.
Sterling: Heck, we'll even subscribe to your newsletter.
Williams: That's Crazy-@$$-Mad-Scientist Weekly, right?

More of Doctor Polk's explanations...
Dr. Polk (NPC): The energy passes through most matter, but some matter is too dense to pass through.
Williams: Like what?
Wilmott: Politicians.

After a request to hurry while Dr. Polk assembles a primitive reactor...
Wilmott: Just as soon as we finish this game of radioactive Jenga.

Williams lets slip a bit of privileged information...
Dr. Polk (NPC): Who told you that?
Williams: Uh, someone who knows about these sorta things.
Octenshin: Nice citation there, "professor"!

Disguise discussions....
Wilmott: The insane banker look isn't working for you.

In the midst of a weird battle...
GM: There's a bang, a flash, and a squish.

While fighting a mutated bacteria...
GM: It extends a very angry looking pseudopod toward you...
Sterling (OOC): How does a pseudopod look angry?
Williams: Maybe it has a little frowny face on it.

After Octenshin finished a ten-minute explanation for why the PCs should go after a superfast thief...
Sterling (OOC): Did you spend all night rationalizing this?
Octenshin (OOC): Nope, just pulled it out of my @$$ just now.

During an argument about whether the PCs should use their powers to fight crime or not...
Octenshin: Look, you can complain about the degradation of society or you could so something...
Sterling: Um, I don't actually complain about it.
Williams: Yeah, he profits on society's degradation.

Octenshin has managed to catch the aforementioned superfast thief...
Eddie Mercury (NPC): Have you ever been poor?
Octenshin: I'm a grad student.

Talking about recruiting the captured speedster Mercury...
Sterling (OOC): Nothing like conscripting the new Justice League.
Octenshin (OOC): The draft is still legal right now.
Williams (OOC): We...the few, the proud, the kidnapped.

Octenshin explains why he isn't attracted to the NPC reporter who followed the PCs to Central American and back ... and has insect powers...
Octenshin: I've hung by her proboscis over a field of cockroach cultists - I've seen her thorax. She's just not sexy to me any more.

During a daring escape from the villains' island stronghold...
Wilmott: We're headed to the airship.
Williams: Do either of us even know how to fly an airship?
Wilmott: We'll figure it out.
Williams: That's quite the can-do attitude you've developed there.

Williams realizes that holding different metals with let him fly, plus other powers...
GM: You don't know how long your copper pan will last.
Williams (OOC): I have a belt buckle! Many some loose change.

---

And a few quick ones from my recently started 7th Sea pirate campaign dubbed The Captain's Treasure.

Characters include:

Alfredo Cabara - Castillian nobleman and fencer.
Theodora della Ochoa - Castillian doctor and fencer.
Sabbine of the Sea Breeze - Sidhe-touched Avalon armswoman.
Pia Franzini - Vodacce fencer and mathematician.
Nikita Borislev - Ussuran strongman.
Petra - Ussuran brawler.

---

A quick description of Petra as she walks in...
GM: She was the ship's kid mascot. She's grown up some in the last year.
Nikita: I did not recognize you with breasts.

Petra is used to barter economies and isn't sure what to do with dubloons...
Theodora: I'll take that awful yellow metal and go turn it into chickens.
Petra: Wow, are you a Sorcerer?
Alfredo: Yes, it's the Magic of Economics.

Discussion of food...
Pia: You don't make borscht; you recover it.

Reading a letter from their late pirate captain...
GM: The letter reads "Dear friends and comrades..."
Alfredo: This is an obvious forgery! It doesn't start with "Yar!"

A large band of Brutes burst unto the scene and the party displays the usual Hero confidence...
GM: The Vodacce starts calculating the odds.
Sabbinne: And what's the result?
Pia: I think they're in trouble.

Nikita's player wants to draw the Brutes' attention by standing up...
GM: Well, you are big.
Nikita (OOC): I have the Large Advantage.
GM: Okay, you are really big.

Random quote...
Petra: Not so very innocent people are going to die because of this delay.

---

Enjoy! I'll do my best to post more!

Lonewalker

[Buttnekitism]

I registered just to share this with all of you.

GM: "That was after your accident, right?"

Poltergeist: "Two men were walking down the street, one with a bar of chocolat, the other with a jar of peanut butter, when suddenly *bump*. 'You got chocolate in my Peanut Butter!' 'You accidently gave me Super Powers!"

[Manic Typist]

Tracy is left to plan the distraction to throw the bad guys off the groups trail.
Tracy: OK, expenses were 7.95$ for two boxes of Oreo Cookies, one chocolate covered and one double stuffed. I put those in the fancy box with a note "your favorite cookies, love mom." Next is 25$ to mail the box from the Bahamas to a P.O. Box in New Hampshire, I put the fancy box in a normal package box. Then 100$ to get the package to the air strip via Fast Courier. Last, was 6,000$ to smuggle the box into the Bahamas in the first place. The pilot's name is Carl, he leaves in four hours. Slow enough for them to discover our flight out, fast enough that they can't stop it.

Wait... how does that work? Is it coming in, and the bad guys will want to intercept it? (Not to mention, ¨to smuggle the box into the Bahamas in the first place¨ makes it REALLY confusing if you think about it. Was it smuggled in first, or was it mailed out then smuggled back in?)

[Shadow Hawk]

Not a game quote, but...

Watched the movie "Oscar" last night. Sly Stallone plays a 1930's era mob boss trying to go straight. His minions haven't gotten it quite yet...

Sly: I told you to get rid of the guns!
Minion: You didn't mean all of them.

later, after taking the gun away from the minion, a car backfires and the minion pulls out *another gun.

Sly: Where'd you get that?
Minion: It's my back up.
Sly: I told you to get rid of ALL the guns!
Minion: Yeah, but...
Sly: That's it, give me all the weapons.
Minion proceeds to pull out another gun from his coat, a gun from behind his back, a gun from a ankle holster, a derringer from his forearm, a knife, another knife, a set of brass knuckles, a combined knife/brass knuckles set, a knife concealed as a belt buckle, a half dozen shurikan, a hand grenade...
Sly: It's like disarming Germany.

After this scene, my buddy Hank commented...
Hank: The minion must be a first level fighter.
Me: No, he's a low level rogue.
Hank: With that many weapons?
Me: They were all concealed. A fighter would carry them openly.