Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

[Tigereye]

Oh, and I reserve the right to give the drop bears weapons. Specialized ones, designed just for them, so I have the right to Bear Arms.

[Susano]

Guards? Kill this man.

[hfergus]

Guards? Kill this man.

Sir, the guards are unable to comply. They are all retching their guts out. That is, the ones who did not kill themselves.

[Shadowsoul]

Need we be so harsh? The urge to pun comes on us all from time to time. Perhaps just a spell of community service writing jokes for Christmas crackers? Or cleaning out the evil bunny's cage?

[Nerdnumber1]

I personally know someone who punned Steve Jackson to a tie. There is now a card in a Steve Jackson game that deals more damage to him than other players.

I game with a man who punned the word halon without the slightest falter.

I fear not such lesser puns as these.

[Major Tom]

Originally Posted by Major Tom:




I would be using the bears instead to maul known liars, not rabbits (even evil ones). That way I could bear false witnesses.

I would tax evil rabbits instead. In-hare-intense taxes, of course.

(Everybody at this point ducks, so I will goose instead. HONK!)

Weapons Officer: prepare to fire a full spread of ship-to-ship torpedoes at
that Kilrathi poster...he's in dire need of pun-ishment.




Major Tom

[Fabricati]

I personally know someone who punned Steve Jackson to a tie. There is now a card in a Steve Jackson game that deals more damage to him than other players.

I game with a man who punned the word halon without the slightest falter.

I fear not such lesser puns as these.

Which reminds me- just how expensive is Pun Defense?

[Shadow Hawk]

Pun Deafness 1 point per point.

[Greywind]

Yeah, but the truly obnoxious buy multiple levels of penetrating for their puns...

[bubba smith]

send the luchadores to shut the door on this punster

[teh bunneh]

Need we be so harsh? The urge to pun comes on us all from time to time. Perhaps just a spell of community service writing jokes for Christmas crackers? Or cleaning out the evil bunny's cage?

That's a helluva punishment. We had burrito night last night.

OK, quotes. From our 7th Sea game...

Cast and crew of our new pirate vessel:
Alfredo: Posh noble Castillian lieutenent
Nikita: Huge, burly Usuran legbreaker
Sabine: Short but fiesty Avalonian weapons-master
Petra: Formerly the ship's cabin girl, she's grown up a lot in the last year
Pia: Vodacci artist and ship's navigator

Better without context:
Nikita: I've been drinking my potatoes, lately.

The brute squad wasn't giving us much trouble...
Petra: (sing-song voice) Mama had a brute squad and their heads popped off!

The GM asks if anyone goes on this phase, and every single hand goes up.
Nikita (OOC): Hold on tight, villains. This is the phase that we go.

Our enemy is a noble Montaigne officer:
GM: He is a gentleman.
Nikita: No, he is a nobleman. There's a difference.

Montaign nobleman: Watch your tongue, you uncouth savage! There are ladies present!
Pia: Name one.
Petra: Well... I have boobs now, so... me!

Our noble lieutenent ignores the brutes surrouding him and shoots their leader.
Alfredo: You are beneath me. <blam> You are within my sights.

After their leader is shot and killed:
Brute Squad: Oh my god! No one told us that they had guns too!
Nikita: Hello? Pirates!

Nikita and Petra both have the same initiatives.
Nikita: I will allow the little one to go first.
GM: "Little one"? She's bigger than everyone else in the crew!
...
...
...
GM: Except you, I guess.

Continuing that theme...
Nikita: They grow up so fast! Why, I remember when she was only 5' 10"!

Our short (<5') weapons-master is jealous:
Sabine: If she's the "little one," then what am I?
Nikita: Who said that???

[DJ Blackrock]

Hasn't been much for quotes lately. But I have a couple.

Space Opera:

Dr. Seuss (yeah, not intentional): "I don't know where everyone is! I don't have a crystal ball!"
Driev: "Yes you do! You LoJacked the entire crew!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Me: "Wait. Seuss just laughed. I am officially freaked out. In and out of character."


and we just had our first session of Shadowrun tonight. The best quote will do nothing but get this thread locked, as it involves a male Elf Prostitute, and a cybered out Troll's genitalia. I'll leave it at that.

[Lucius]

So we've started a Star Wars game.

I'm playing a Felucian - a primitive but Force sensitive native of the planet Felucia - named Bra Hamak. When it's not making buzzing or burbling noises, it can speak "Basic."

Bra Hamak has had encounters (before the game starts) both with Imperial Clone Troopers and a couple of Jedi hiding out on Felucia. Bra Hamak's first question on meeting anyone or anything that seems to be from "over-sky" is always the same:

"You - speak and act - for self? or other?"

I didn't plan it that way - it just came out and then kept coming out, in variations.

For example upon capturing some beasts the Felucians use for riding: "Now, these act for us - future, act for self." i.e. we will ride these creatures now and let them go free after.

On taking a Clone Trooper prisoner: "Now, you speak and act for me - Future, you speak and act for other." Do what I say now and later go back to obeying orders from your own chain of command.

On seeing the Jedi mentally dominate the prisoner: "Now, he - speak and act - for you?"


I think Bra Hamak has some notion of eventually finding the one giving the orders ("These all - speak and act- for you?") and somehow convincing them or making them stop messing up his planet. "Explosions bad. Fire bad. Not belong in swamp!"


Lucius Alexander

The palindromedary thinks the Force is like duct tape.

[BoloOfEarth]

Due to Real Life (tm) problems, my Champions campaign has been on-and-off (mostly off) for the past two months. But last Sunday, I ran something to try and get things back on track. The heroes of S-Squad were mostly doing indivdiual stuff.

In her secret ID, Sentinel's boyfriend just proposed to her (she said yes), and her mother is getting out of control with wedding plans.

Sentinel: Mom, if you don't calm down, you're going to drive Frank and me to Vegas.
Mom: Ooo! We could do a nice, fancy wedding out there!
Sentinel: No, Mom, I meant without you. Frank and I will get married by Elvis.
Mom: ... Okay, fine. (thought bubble: ) So I guess I need to work on Frank...

- - - - - - - - - -

A series of suspicious accidents and attacks have been happening to the hero team's base security guards during their off hours. The heroes think the attacks are being caused by mobster Caesar Jones.

Squeeze: So I guess we need to pay a visit to Caesar's place.
Serendipity: Caesar's Palace?!
Synergy: At least she didn't say "Little Caesars"...

- - - - - - - - - -

Sentinel: When I'm out on patrol at night, I'll keep an eye on our guards' houses.
Squeeze: Not a good idea. Your flight and force fields glow. You'll stand out.
GM: Yeah, the bad guys will be like, "Oh, we didn't know where that guy lived, but now we do. Thanks, Sentinel!"
Sentinel:

- - - - - - - - - -

The heroes eventually capture one of the attackers and learn that VIPER is behind the attacks.

Serendipity: So why are you attacking our people? You're crossing the line!
VIPER covert agent: Oh, and when you're taking us on, it's not like you're just playing patty-cake!
Serendipity: That's different. You're doing... y'know, illegal stuff.

- - - - - - - - - -

Cy-Force (an all-cyborg group from 4th Edition's High Tech Enemies) is stealing a prototype device from the physics department of the University of Illinois (Chicago). Since both the hero base and the PRIMUS base are just a handful of blocks away from the university, the whole villain team shows up with their vehicle, which they conceal on the rooftop using a hologram of another entire floor atop the lab building. They then clear the building of people by triggering a fire alarm. Synergy, in his secret ID, happens to work in that same building and goes outside with everybody else from his lab.

Synergy: Do I see any smoke coming from the building?
GM: No, but you do this (mimes counting the floors) Funny, there's only supposed to be five floors, but now there's six...
Sentinel (OOC, coming back to the game after a brief absense) What's going on?
Synergy: My lab building is growing!
GM: It was five stories tall, but now it's six...
Squeeze: ...but that's another story!

The other heroes are called and arrive in short order, approaching covertly. Sentinel uses her x-ray vision to see through the hologram and notices the five individuals on the actual rooftop, plus four inside the vehicle.

Sentinel: Are they humans, or machines?
GM: Yes.

As the heroes are discussing possible attack strategies, Doc Digital is transported back to the vehicle with the prototype, while Interface is still downstairs erasing computer records of the research.

GM (to Sentinel): You notice that there are now five cyborgs inside the vehicle. One just appeared.
Sentinel: Oh, no! They're making new cyborgs!

During the battle, the vehicle lifts off and beams Interface back aboard, followed by Fastball, who had been grabbed by Squeeze. Several heroes concentrate their attacks on the vehicle's engines, knocking it out of the sky, where it falls behind the building.

Squeeze: I'll bet Fastball was saying, "Get me out! Get me out!" (imitation battle noise, following by whistling of the vehicle falling) "Shit! Send me back! Send me back!"

GM (looks at speed sheet, notes that none of the villains inside the plummeting vehicle have Flight): Oh, crap! (Then notices that the four agents inside do have Flight) Oh, never mind!

Someone from the DOD shows up asking about the stolen prototype... which was smashed to pieces when the vehicle crashed.

General: But Dr. Jackson said she had a breakthrough!
Squeeze: She did. It's broken, all right!

- - - - - - - - - -

After the battle, I gave them their 3 experience points.

Sentinel (who has been frustrated by a low Flight speed and is trying to get enough points to put Flight into her Elemental Control): No fair! I'm still one point shy!
Serendipity: So, you have one more adventure of "putter, putter, putter."

[Susano]

So we've started a Star Wars game.

I'm playing a Felucian - a primitive but Force sensitive native of the planet Felucia - named Bra Hamak. When it's not making buzzing or burbling noises, it can speak "Basic."

Bra Hamak has had encounters (before the game starts) both with Imperial Clone Troopers and a couple of Jedi hiding out on Felucia. Bra Hamak's first question on meeting anyone or anything that seems to be from "over-sky" is always the same:

"You - speak and act - for self? or other?"

I didn't plan it that way - it just came out and then kept coming out, in variations.

For example upon capturing some beasts the Felucians use for riding: "Now, these act for us - future, act for self." i.e. we will ride these creatures now and let them go free after.

On taking a Clone Trooper prisoner: "Now, you speak and act for me - Future, you speak and act for other." Do what I say now and later go back to obeying orders from your own chain of command.

On seeing the Jedi mentally dominate the prisoner: "Now, he - speak and act - for you?"


I think Bra Hamak has some notion of eventually finding the one giving the orders ("These all - speak and act- for you?") and somehow convincing them or making them stop messing up his planet. "Explosions bad. Fire bad. Not belong in swamp!"


Lucius Alexander

The palindromedary thinks the Force is like duct tape.

Let me get this straight, your PC's name is pronounced "Bra Hammock"?