Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

[input.jack]

Some quotes from Embria
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GM: You find a partially-decayed body on the road, thats basically a skeleton

Chyra (OOC): Ill examine the body to see what killed him.

GM: Make a "Heal" check

Rhiannon (OOC): Isnt it a little late for that?!

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Chyra (OOC): Uh oh. The GM has artwork of this stuff. We're screwed

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Metrion :*examining a book* Ah. The works of Ulwayne the Tendentious. I used to read his works late at night, when I couldnt sleep.

Varga: ...You...made that word up.

Metrion: I am a wizard! I have the power to create things!

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Chyra: Dont lick the frost-blade!

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Varga: I think that this trap was constructed by the Elves. This part here is carved with the elven runes for "thpppppppppppppppp"

[Major Tom 2009]

This actually reminds me of an old game quote that inspired a logo.

In an old LARP set during the 30's, one of the players, playing a German diplomat, was told he had a battleship on call to use as a negotiating tool. Lesson to be learned here, folks: never give a character a battleship in a game; sooner or later, he will use it.

Anyways, at one point in the game during a conversation, the character tried to impress another by stating boastfully, in his outrageous German accent, "I have a battle-sheep."

"A what?" replied the other fellow incredulously.

"A battle-sheep!" repeated the diplomat indignantly.

That one stopped the game for a bit.

The comment lived on beyond the life of the game and, after one more retelling of the story, our own Susano decided to illustrate this dubious concept.

Behold the Krieg Shaff! (Battle Sheep)



This lovely image is now the official logo of KFAQ Productions, a small LARP gaming group I was a part of.

This puts me in mind of the following statement:

"Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote."

- Benjamin Franklin



Major Tom 2009

[Susano]

I love the little monocle!

Yeah, the kaiser helmet and the monocle really make that picture.

Thank you!

[Susano]

Hmmm... picture Iron Age Teen Champions, and that was sort of how the session went.

I see....

Esper High School isn't quite that dark. Well, isn't supposed to be quite that dark.

[Susano]

Yeah, the kaiser helmet and the monocle really make that picture.

A little larger.

[Peregrine]

I see....

Esper High School isn't quite that dark. Well, isn't supposed to be quite that dark.

Anything can be made dark - I've seen it.

[Shadow Hawk]

This actually reminds me of an old game quote that inspired a logo.

In an old LARP set during the 30's, one of the players, playing a German diplomat, was told he had a battleship on call to use as a negotiating tool. Lesson to be learned here, folks: never give a character a battleship in a game; sooner or later, he will use it.

.

Wait a second... 1930's Germany has a battleship?
I'm a total history nerd, but I'll delete the rant and just assume you're either in a alt.history or something.

[Susano]

Wait a second... 1930's Germany has a battleship?
I'm a total history nerd, but I'll delete the rant and just assume you're either in a alt.history or something.

IIRC, he was talking to Emperor Norton. So it might have been pre-1900s... or something.

[IndianaJoe3]

Wait a second... 1930's Germany has a battleship?
I'm a total history nerd, but I'll delete the rant and just assume you're either in a alt.history or something.

They had two pre-Dreadnaughts and several, "pocket battleships" (equivalent to battlecruisers). Bismarck was the most famous.

[Shadow Hawk]

They had two pre-Dreadnaughts and several, "pocket battleships" (equivalent to battlecruisers). Bismarck was the most famous.

The pre-dreadnaught battleships Schleswig-Holstein and Schlesien would count as "battleships", although they were small (14,000 tons), undergunned (4x11" guns) and short ranged (they'd need refueling to get anywhere.)

The 3 "Pocket Battleships" of the Duetchland Class were only called that by English speakers. Built to the Versaille Treaty limits, they officially weighed 10,000 tons (actually heavier), carried 6x11" guns, had incredible range due to thier innovative propulsion system. The Germans called them Panzershiffe (Armored Ship) until about 1942, when they were reclassified as Panzerkruiser (Armored Cruiser, or "Heavy Cruiser" in American). The first was commisioned in 1931.

The 2 "Battlecruisers" of the Scharnhurst class were also refered to by the Germans as Panzershiffe, but were classed as "Light Battleships" after 1942. They were commissionned in January of 1939.

Bismarck was a true battleship, but wasn't commissioned until 1940.

So, a German "Battleship" in the 1930's is problematic for the history nerd. The closest they come to one is the two pre-dreadnaughts. Of course, this is IRL, where Germany lost WW1 and had it's navy dismantled and weren't allowed to build anything like a battleship until after 1935. Of course, you can say he meant "warship" rather than "battleship", it wouldn't be the first time a diplomat got his terms wrong. Or you can tell the nerd to shut up, it's your world and Germany has a battleship in the 1930s.

(Oh, something I missed... yes, you must be careful when you 'give' a player a powerful unit 'on call'. He'll find a excuse to call it.)

Oh, and this is mostly the rant I deleted.

[NestorDRod]

The pre-dreadnaught battleships Schleswig-Holstein and Schlesien would count as "battleships", although they were small (14,000 tons), undergunned (4x11" guns) and short ranged (they'd need refueling to get anywhere.)

Eyes... glazing.. over...

The 3 "Pocket Battleships" of the Duetchland Class were only called that by English speakers. Built to the Versaille Treaty limits, they officially weighed 10,000 tons (actually heavier), carried 6x11" guns, had incredible range due to thier innovative propulsion system. The Germans called them Panzershiffe (Armored Ship) until about 1942, when they were reclassified as Panzerkruiser (Armored Cruiser, or "Heavy Cruiser" in American). The first was commisioned in 1931.

Must... stay... awake...

The 2 "Battlecruisers" of the Scharnhurst class were also refered to by the Germans as Panzershiffe, but were classed as "Light Battleships" after 1942. They were commissionned in January of 1939.

Bismarck was a true battleship, but wasn't commissioned until 1940.

So, a German "Battleship" in the 1930's is problematic for the history nerd. The closest they come to one is the two pre-dreadnaughts. Of course, this is IRL, where Germany lost WW1 and had it's navy dismantled and weren't allowed to build anything like a battleship until after 1935. Of course, you can say he meant "warship" rather than "battleship", it wouldn't be the first time a diplomat got his terms wrong. Or you can tell the nerd to shut up, it's your world and Germany has a battleship in the 1930s.

Zzzzzzz...

(Oh, something I missed... yes, you must be careful when you 'give' a player a powerful unit 'on call'. He'll find a excuse to call it.)

Oh, and this is mostly the rant I deleted.

Huh? Wha? Oh, sorry. You were saying?



Hey, my memory of the exact game details is fuzzy. For all I know, it was one of those Alternate History games where Hitler had nukes. The point of the story was the birth of the battle-sheep.

[input.jack]

I actually like history rants...

[Drhoz]

Edge City 3D - Californian team in cross-dimensional pursuit of the Black Paladin & Talisman

Trawler : 12ft tall ramen-addicted brick
Terminus : Super-soldier
Miss Chaos : Chaos magus
Avatar : Elemental Solar entity
Stentorian : loudmouth
Zero : paranoid mentalist

Trawler wants some armour for those regions he's most frequently shot in.

Weldun, GM : 15PD/15ED??? I don't care, I'm not letting you wear a cast-iron nappy!

The Republic of Texas & California are bending over backwards for us. Why?

Zero : We prevented thermonuclear Mormons

Weldun, GM : There was always our joke about the weapon from Space Battleship Yamoto - it really is the Wave Motion Gun. Bye-bye!
Terminus OOC : Yes, the Deus ex Machina Cannon they fired at the end of every episode.
Weldun, GM : That's because firing it stopped them dead!
Zero OOC: Apart from that episode where they'd already stopped, and went backwards.
Stentorian OOC : Turn the ship around and fire - you'll get there faster.

Weldun, GM : Loretta's made sure that Stentorian is being carried on the same arm as Avatar. Zero is alongside Miss Chaos.
Zero OOC: : ...why?
Weldun, GM : You really think she's going to let her boyfriend that close to another woman, or creature of ambigous sexuality?
Zero OOC: Hmm. And has she considered his gonads that close to a being of radioactive plasma?
Stentorian OOC : Yes
Weldun, GM : Jealousy beats radiation every time.

Weldun, GM : ...And now Miss Chaos wakes up
Miss Chaos OOC: Bugger
Zero OOC: 'I was having a beautiful dream... The Black Paladin & The Skank were being boiled in baby oil.'
Avatar OOC: ... Why baby oil?
Zero OOC: I'll leave that as an exercise for the reader.
Weldun, GM : You're being carried along on Trawler's arm
Miss Chaos OOC: Erk, that's horrible
Weldun, GM : You're snuggled up against Zero
Miss Chaos OOC: That's worse.

Weldun, GM : The sign reads Flint, MI 31miles
Zero OOC: That sign is a lie. I can't see any fat bearded liberals with movie cameras

Zero wakes up, full of prophesy

Zero: Ow. I've got a headful of ambiguous poetry again.

Zero OOC: Lions & tigers & Ohms, oh my

Trawler: You missed the thirty-foot tall forest-eating bugs.
Zero: *pause* Believe me, I do not begrudge you that
Miss Chaos: To escape the rest of this conversation I'm flying ahead
Trawler: You should have seen the thing's armour. It's even thicker than the codpiece
Zero: *long stare* Annnnnd moving right along...

Weldun, GM : There's a tower. It's sort of pulsing and throbbing.
Zero: We're not talking about Trawler's codpiece again, are we?

There followed ten minutes of horribly unavoidable smut. Weldun really, really regretted his planned descriptions. He'd clearly forgotten who he was GMing for. The fact it's a ley-powered flying train line don't help.

Group singing -

"Travel all over the countryside,
Past the ley-lines, past the ley-lines"

explanation here -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MyS9uCcbgg

Weldun, GM :plaintively It's not GM, it's GS! Games Sufferer!

A trio of flying battlesuits attack, and are promptly encouraged to **** off.

Zero: Well, we've learned one thing. They're obviously afraid of trees. This could be tactically useful.
Terminus: I disagree - it's not just trees, it's a fear of flying trees. Which is entirely reasonable.

[Manic Typist]

Well,Aquatic is half Atlantean and raised by surfacers so his own mores regarding clothes have been the source of some amusement for some of the Atlanteans he's met

Therefore, it's initially surprising that a society (or at least it's men, even as a joke) like that would be "seduced" by the (purportedly) more prudish surface dwellers.

Then again, sometimes the more prim and proper they seem... there more of a tigress that lurks beneath, quiaff?

[Major Tom 2009]

Edge City 3D - Californian team in cross-dimensional pursuit of the Black Paladin & Talisman

Trawler : 12ft tall ramen-addicted brick
Terminus : Super-soldier
Miss Chaos : Chaos magus
Avatar : Elemental Solar entity
Stentorian : loudmouth
Zero : paranoid mentalist

Trawler wants some armour for those regions he's most frequently shot in.

Weldun, GM : 15PD/15ED??? I don't care, I'm not letting you wear a cast-iron nappy!

The Republic of Texas & California are bending over backwards for us. Why?

Zero : We prevented thermonuclear Mormons

Weldun, GM : There was always our joke about the weapon from Space Battleship Yamoto - it really is the Wave Motion Gun. Bye-bye!
Terminus OOC : Yes, the Deus ex Machina Cannon they fired at the end of every episode.
Weldun, GM : That's because firing it stopped them dead!
Zero OOC: Apart from that episode where they'd already stopped, and went backwards.
Stentorian OOC : Turn the ship around and fire - you'll get there faster.

Weldun, GM : Loretta's made sure that Stentorian is being carried on the same arm as Avatar. Zero is alongside Miss Chaos.
Zero OOC: : ...why?
Weldun, GM : You really think she's going to let her boyfriend that close to another woman, or creature of ambigous sexuality?
Zero OOC: Hmm. And has she considered his gonads that close to a being of radioactive plasma?
Stentorian OOC : Yes
Weldun, GM : Jealousy beats radiation every time.

Weldun, GM : ...And now Miss Chaos wakes up
Miss Chaos OOC: Bugger
Zero OOC: 'I was having a beautiful dream... The Black Paladin & The Skank were being boiled in baby oil.'
Avatar OOC: ... Why baby oil?
Zero OOC: I'll leave that as an exercise for the reader.
Weldun, GM : You're being carried along on Trawler's arm
Miss Chaos OOC: Erk, that's horrible
Weldun, GM : You're snuggled up against Zero
Miss Chaos OOC: That's worse.

Weldun, GM : The sign reads Flint, MI 31miles
Zero OOC: That sign is a lie. I can't see any fat bearded liberals with movie cameras

Zero wakes up, full of prophesy

Zero: Ow. I've got a headful of ambiguous poetry again.

Zero OOC: Lions & tigers & Ohms, oh my

Trawler: You missed the thirty-foot tall forest-eating bugs.
Zero: *pause* Believe me, I do not begrudge you that
Miss Chaos: To escape the rest of this conversation I'm flying ahead
Trawler: You should have seen the thing's armour. It's even thicker than the codpiece
Zero: *long stare* Annnnnd moving right along...

Weldun, GM : There's a tower. It's sort of pulsing and throbbing.
Zero: We're not talking about Trawler's codpiece again, are we?

There followed ten minutes of horribly unavoidable smut. Weldun really, really regretted his planned descriptions. He'd clearly forgotten who he was GMing for. The fact it's a ley-powered flying train line don't help.

Group singing -

"Travel all over the countryside,
Past the ley-lines, past the ley-lines"

explanation here -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MyS9uCcbgg

Weldun, GM :plaintively It's not GM, it's GS! Games Sufferer!

A trio of flying battlesuits attack, and are promptly encouraged to **** off.

Zero: Well, we've learned one thing. They're obviously afraid of trees. This could be tactically useful.
Terminus: I disagree - it's not just trees, it's a fear of flying trees. Which is entirely reasonable.

You forgot to include "inside trader" in Zero's description.

Weldun, on the other hand...sounds like the poor bugger ran smack dab into a
Porn Singularity rather than the usual Smut Field that seems to be par for the
course for this particular group of players.


Major Tom 2009