Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

[Manic Typist]

Another robot is knocked off the train, extends wings, and begins gliding toward some people standing on the sidewalk. Styx jumps, grabs the 'bot in midair, yanks out the guts (including the explosive charge) and throws it up to explode harmlessly. He lands on the sidewalk and chucks the dead robot into a trash can, then turns to the people he just saved.

Styx: Gotta catch a train! (Leaps away)

Very nearly a crowning moment of awesome. Certainly an excellent display.

Also- nice twist on the Speed plot.

[Ockham's Spoon]

Upon arriving on a high gravity planet, the GM informs the players that their increased weight of their bodies will encumber them as though they were carrying an extra 30 kg of equipment.

Quinn: “You mean my body parts weigh an extra 30 kg?!? Dang, I am going to need to get an industrial strength athletic supporter.”


Later, the heroes are planning on how to get into a highly secure government building, and are favoring a subtle approach.

Viceroy: “I don’t have Bureaucratics, but I have Seduction. Didn’t you say that one of the security officers is female?”
GM: “Er... well, hermaphroditic technically, but most Vorth consider themselves female.”
Viceroy: “Hey, I’m an open-minded sort. Which alien species were the Vorth again?”
GM: “She is a humanoid lizard over 2m tall with mottled green scales, a heavy forked tail, and a half-meter long barbed tongue.”
Viceroy: “Okay I was with you until ‘barbed tongue’. That is going to make French kissing a little awkward.”
Kateomi: “You know, sometimes a girl just likes to cuddle.”


Later yet the heroes are trying to contact a Remian informant who has some vital information. The Remians are a wild, almost animalistic race that are double-jointed to the extent it is sometimes hard to tell whether you are approaching them from the front or back. Quinn rolls an 18 on his PER roll, and so approaches the wrong Remian.

Quinn: “Our mutual friend Roarce sent me. I think you have something I need.”
GM: “The Remian prostitute replies ‘Oh, I have anything you need lover.’ She whispers some suggestions in your ear that are almost certainly not legal and may not even be physically possible, at least for a human.”
Viceroy: “Hey, hey, hey!! How come he gets the hot nympho aliens and I get Amy Alligator, the Sleestaks’ ugly step-sister?!?”
Quinn: “I think I just ruptured my athletic supporter.”
Gemini: “And there, I believe, you have your answer.”

[Balabanto]

After two years, Vigilance finally breaks into the Principal's office. They find a bunch of information about him taking money to get rich kids into Ivy League schools.

The Night: We have to expose him.

Plastron: Yes, but we have to do this without implicating us.

Prestige: We need to make it look like a prank. Silver Sentinel?

Silver Sentinel: We need a good one then.

Plastron: Let's shut down the entire school's computer system and make it print "No detention without representation." Silver Sentinel, you do it. You're the only one of the hackers who can fit in the room!

Silver Sentinel: (In her cheesy, I'm pretending to be a mystic extradimensional alien voice) "Your wish is my command!"

They collect the evidence, turn it over to the police and newspapers, and go home to sleep.

So they do this. Remember the Vice Principal in the Bikini?

Well, sure enough the first page is Rufus Doherty, in the bikini, holding the American Flag, with "No Detention Without Representation!" written underneath.

Silver Sentinel gets a radio message.

Plastron: Sarah?

Sarah, hanging out outside of school, being social with her housemate: Yes?

Plastron: You're still on probation.

[Ms Superior]

Lost is not in my lexicon.

However, your lexicon isn't here. And we're lost.

[Narf the Mouse]

I don't know about my players, but I like this bit of colour from my vampire hunter game practice run:

Acheron (Dual-wielding nobleman) looks in the window of an inn that vampires are holed up in:

GM: The window looks a bit reddish.

GM: On the inside.


Acheron: "Bloodspray. Can't see through it."

Soor Choia (Mysterious, CG spellcaster): "Damn, Well only one course of action then"

GM: And then something mockingly knocks out 'shave and a haircut' on the window...

[Ian Mackinder]

I don't know about my players, but I like this bit of colour from my vampire hunter game practice run:

Acheron (Dual-wielding nobleman) looks in the window of an inn that vampires are holed up in:

GM: The window looks a bit reddish.

GM: On the inside.


Acheron: "Bloodspray. Can't see through it."

Soor Choia (Mysterious, CG spellcaster): "Damn, Well only one course of action then"

GM: And then something mockingly knocks out 'shave and a haircut' on the window...

[CRASH!] TWO BITS!

Erm, sorry. Had a 'Roger Rabbit' moment there.

[Black Ops]

Witchhunter again:

Anne-Ellen (Who is still slightly naive and a professional freelance Entertainer ) is send to recruit a new member for the group whom she has already seen in her dreams. They meet at a dock where both Characters are mysteriously drawn to.
Enter: Rene Deveraux mild mannered Scholar ( and Hermetic Wizard).....

Anne-Ellen (quite loudly): You ! I have seen you in my dreams........
Rene (Who had similiar dreams, and recognized her): Madame, please.....(whispering) Not here!

Listening Sailors and Fishermen:

Anne-Ellen: But I have seen you really! In my Dreams!
Rene slowly backing away: In your dreams mademoiselle sure.....
Anne-Ellen: But I really ......
Rene turns around and walks away.

The Witchhunters finally asemble and start talking, introducing each other:

Anne-Ellen: You might call me by my nome de guerre: Asmodee.....
Every Witchhunter in the room:

(She survived.)

[matrix3]

Witchhunter again:

Anne-Ellen (Who is still slightly naive and a professional freelance Entertainer ) is send to recruit a new member for the group whom she has already seen in her dreams. They meet at a dock where both Characters are mysteriously drawn to.
Enter: Rene Deveraux mild mannered Scholar ( and Hermetic Wizard).....

Anne-Ellen (quite loudly): You ! I have seen you in my dreams........
Rene (Who had similiar dreams, and recognized her): Madame, please.....(whispering) Not here!

Listening Sailors and Fishermen:

Anne-Ellen: But I have seen you really! In my Dreams!
Rene slowly backing away: In your dreams mademoiselle sure.....
Anne-Ellen: But I really ......
Rene turns around and walks away.

The Witchhunters finally asemble and start talking, introducing each other:

Anne-Ellen: You might call me by my nome de guerre: Asmodee.....
Every Witchhunter in the room:

(She survived.)

Hm...I'm missing something here. Why did they shoot her?

[Tim]

Asmodee...us

[Black Ops]

As Tim said..... and well to be honest, we did not shoot her.

[Mjolnir74]

More quotes from my Shadowrun4 campaign

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The party is being smuggled out of Hong Kong in a small freight vessel after being labeled as international terrorists. They awake to the sound of muffled gunfire as the ship is being taken over by pirates. They are about to storm the bridge.

Bender (OOC): I breakdown the door to the bridge and yell out "Give us your booze!" *rolls dice to punch the door*

GM: The door goes flying off the hinges and into the bridge. A stunned pirate near the door has a look of shock and awe on his face and extends his beer grasping hand in your direction.

Bender: *Takes beer from pirate* You may live.

[Karma]

I actually like history rants...

You obviously do not play with more than one history nerd. I have had entire sessions taken up with dueling history rants.

[NestorDRod]

You obviously do not play with more than one history nerd. I have had entire sessions taken up with dueling history rants.

Right there wit'cha. In our group, we instituted the STFU rule. At any point in time, the GM can invoke it, and all players must immediately Shut The F**k Up or suffer the consequences.

What those consequences are have never been established, but the fact they exist is enough of a deterrent.

[Shadow Hawk]

You obviously do not play with more than one history nerd. I have had entire sessions taken up with dueling history rants.

Fortunately, our history nerds are all experts on different time periods. There are very few dueling rants, more like
Nerd 1: And after the Mongols did this, (rant rant rant)
Nerd 2: Which lead to the Midevil Europeans (rant rant rant)
Nerd 3: Which of course lead to the colonization era's (rant rant rant)
Nerd 1: Wait a second, where'd everybody else go?

[Susano]

Session Seven of Farlanthia.

Someone spills food on the battlemap, leading to: "Look, a salsa pudding."

A player does something odd -- GM: "At that, I've no idea how they'd respond."

The GM rolls some dice -- GM: "Holy buttcheese, never mind."

GM: "They're doing magical doohickey stuff."

Calidore to the ghost standing next to him, after witnessing a lot of arguing between PCs and NPCs (OOC): "Wanna go get a beer?"

Marid comments on Calidore's tactics: "You can have that honorable stuff, I just want to jack things up."

Calsar: "You won't see the big explosion that kills us."

Marid: "One of us will need a new character."

Joan (Anaé) rolls a "1"
GM (her husband): "You've rolled 10 "1s" with that. I'm sorry."
Joan: "No you're not."
GM (long pause): "I love you."

Marid (standing in the middle of crater): "Well if [the ghost] is not a rest [now], I can't help him."

GM to Calidore: "It looks like you won't need to visit your mother's house now."
Calidore (looking at aforementioned crater): "Good."

Marid: "It's not my fault!"
Rest of the Table: "It didn't work for Han, it didn't work for Lando, and it's not going to work for you!"