Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
Part two of the ULTICORP Champions Quotes. Part three is in the works, so we had an amazing number of hopefully good quotes over the course of three days:
Silverbolt: Lightning mage. Also a bit of a transmuter, being able to make food out of thing air, and change clothes as a half action. Fond of practical jokes.
Ultisaur: Genetically modified Brick. ULTICORPs latest genetic super-soldier prototype. His spit is acidic and he's somewhat aggressive.
Steamjack: Steam-powered Power-Armoured Brit. Enough said. Also, he's going slowly mad.
Pinpoint: Asian Acupuncturist hero, and natrual enemy of the Triad. Speedster Cyborg after an incident last time.
Andy: The snot element kid was not present this time, eigher
Ultisaur caused the teams first kill last time:
GM: It's a 12d6 attack. It's pretty standard. You're just not supposed to use it against unarmored thugs.
Ultisaur: I didn't think the unarmored thug would be so
unarmored.
The usual pile of random:
Steamjack: There is no alter stone at Stonehenge. Stonehenge is a glorified
GM: Landing site. I know.
Steamjack: Calendar.
Steamjack: Lets discuss this over a bowl of my sedative saliva.
GM: No, you cannot use dead babies for fuel.
Pinpoint: Your brain is Wallace.
Steamjack: For every ten points I add to my [arcane] turbine I add another backpack.
GM: I love improvised throwing weapons. Especially VIPER.
GM: you did hear what I said about government super soldiers, they generally turn into villains
Or Ultisaur.
GM: It was a case of miscommunication. I communicated, he missed.
GM: Range based on plot.
GM: There appears to be a city around you.
GM: There appears to be a city under you.
Steamjack: I beat my roll by yes.
Pinpoint: There's a difference between wanting to kill me, and worshiping me.
Steamjack: These are plates. You might recognize them from such movies as Snakes on a Plate, Bears on an Airplane
GM: Beam the Enterprise down, Scotty.
Steamjack: I'm presuming this train is high orbital.
GM: Scotland is a golf course.
GM (as DEMON thug): Mommy! It happened again, I went to the bathroom and got paralyzed.
Media reporter: Ok, the structure collapsed, and here in the middle of it is the ULTICORP Champions Team Transport.
Pinpoint (in happy teletuby voice): My turn? Kill. Die. Abomination!
Steamjack: Abort to tie shoelaces together.
GM: You recover from Diving for
Ducking
Dodge.
Steamjack: That's interesting. I should smash that.
GM: Lightning cackles down the hallway with a noise not unlike butter being spread over too much toast.
A discussion on the uses of clairsentience:
Steamjack: Come to think of it, there's a much easier way of seeing what is on the other side of a door. CRUNCH "Anyone here?"
Steamjack is considering buying telepathy, and describes the problem with constantly broadcasting all his thoughts:
Steamjack: "you know, it might be cool to be a woman." "WHAT!?"
Pinpoint: Or if we're infiltrating a building: "I wonder if they can see us"
Ultisaur: "They'll never find us behind these crates."
Discussing the date 21 December 2012:
Ultisaur: Isn't that the birth of the anti-Christ.
GM: No, that's only if you're Christian. And insane. And American.
Steamjack's new Arcane Blast:
GM: So you basically do magic, and it annoys you?
Steamjack: Yes. "there's no such thing as magic!" *covers his ears* Blah, Blah, Blah!
Silverbolt (mage): Dude! What the hell are you on about?
Another of the powers Steamjack considered buying:
Steamjack: Healing, aka white locus powder, aka "wait, when did I get this?"
Ultisaur has faced a couple of VIPER ambushes this summer:
Ultisaur: I'm not even going out anymore without security.
GM: *evil laugh* And there's your problem.
Ultisaur: Good god, they have moles.
GM: Internal Security are gonna be so happy.
Pinpoint: Why?
GM: They just got something to do.
Silverbolt goes to see his mentor:
GM: The nurse tells you that he left with the nice folks in red robes.
General skills give general answers:
Silverbolt: Wallace made his Supervillain roll by 2, does he know were DEMON might be hiding my mentor?
GM: Yes, he knows DEMON exists.
After a fury of rolls as all the players shout out their vaguely relevant knowledge skills:
GM: Yes, you all know DEMON exists!
The players are lead to a strange building, and begin investigating one of the building's heat emitting rocks:
Steamjack: I poke it with a stick.
GM: I'm tempted to say "it pokes you back", but it just acts like a rock at you.
Steamjack: I poke it with my gloved hand.
GM: then you don't feel that its slightly warm to touch.
Steamjack: I poke it with my non-gloved hand.
GM: Its slightly warm to touch.
Steamjack: I poke it with an oscillating fist.
Al Gore is recording the above property damage, while looking up the relevant law sections:
Al Gore: "property damage..."
Silverbolt: "Yes, and dropping red ink on official documents..." *summons red ink*
Al Gore: "Yes, dropping red ink on official
What?!"
"Note to self: Digitalize this book."
They find out that the rock somehow gathers magical energy. Their first thought:
Silverbolt: Power roll to supercharge!
Steamjack: I can help with that!
GM: The rock is now 60 END warmer.
Silverbolt: If I summon pancake batter on it do I receive pancakes?
The rock is slowly releasing its stored mana:
Silverbolt: I calculate, using the rate of heat output, it's temperature and the mana input, when the last spell was cast on it.
Ultisaur: I'm impressed and disturbed at the same time.
GM: Discounting the naturally occurring mana, about 14 hundred years ago
Ultisaur: Its a rock from Stonehenge!
GM: No it's not. Stonehenge is about four times as old.
The ULTICORP contact roll failed as usual, so Ultisaur tries knowledge: military world:
GM: there are very few people in the military world who know stuff about rock. You could try your old army buddy, but he hates mutants, so might not want to help you.
Ultisaur: I don't have an old army buddy.
Silverbolt: You do now. Roll with it. Literary.
Army Buddy: Helping mutants with a geology problem? Let me think about it.
Ultisaur: Magic is involved.
Army Buddy: Ok.
Steamjack: While the army dude arrives I pump in about 50 END per turn.
GM: Silverbolt? The building's pulsating.
Silverbolt: How hot is the rock now? In degrees?
GM: Well into painful.
Steamjack: I MacGyver a thermometer.
GM: the temperature has 4 digits.
Silverbolt: Celsius or Fahrenheit?
GM: Kelvin
The players eventually look around for something that could be a DEMON church:
GM: The church introduction stuff outside is so bogus, that for someone who knows a thing or two about the astrial plain, it looks like someone made a joke.
Steamjack: Mostly I go: "It's SCIENCE! SCIENCE!"
Silverbolt goes to a church service:
Silverbolt: Do I have to make an EGO roll to avoid laughing?
GM: Well, If you thought Scientology was silly
Silverbolt: Making acting roll.
I start looking up the preacher's stats:
Silverbolt: Just do it from memory and let us win easily.
GM: Not a chance on both of 'em.
Steamjack, who has Distinctive features, Public Identity and a reputation, decides to walk into the high security church, carrying a rock that lights up like a Christmas tree to anyone who can see magic:
GM: Right. That was unexpected. *franticly reads through notes* No, wait, there it is.
GM: They're droning on and on about midi-chlorians and how its little demons that live in people and make them do evil things.
Steamjack: Are they paying attension to my rock?
GM: Not that you know of.
Steamjack: It's a mutually assured destruction device. They try anything and I open this box.
The alter is drawing power and building up mana:
Silverbolt: Put the rock on it and see what happens.
GM: So, you're disabling the alter with a needle?
GM: This is just surreal. It's the alter of a bogus religion. It does not have power defense.
142 active points worth of dispel.
GM: always ground your alters.
I look over my notes, and start laughing. Manically:
Steamjack: Why is he laughing?!
Silverbolt: This is bad.
GM: Steamjack, the ground opens up beneath you. You and the rock are now in the sewers. It's like you were sitting on a weak point or something.
Steamjack: I threaten to open the container.
GM: You see the illusion of your ass above you.
Steamjack: I threaten louder.
He then climbed up from the sewers, reentered the church, and sat down next to himself.
Silverbolt wonders who could cast such a spell:
GM: You know he's powerful, and to bring the illusion up so quickly he probably studied in Britain.
Silverbolt: A student from Hogwarts.
GM: That's in Wales.
The players notice that the piano player is an DEMON necromancer they've dealt with before:
Steamjack: I walk up to the alter and threaten to open the container.
Ultisaur: I'm gonna be hiding in the doorway.
GM: You're standing on a gas pipe.
Steamjack: I'm standing on a gas pipe.
GM: It proceeds to explode.
Steamjack: Why does it explode?
GM: you're about to be mowed down by a crowd. Again.
Ultisaur: This time I stand my ground.
GM: A zombie appears from the closet.
Silverbolt: Is it gay?
GM: And he succeeds in failing that roll.
Pinpoint uses sleight of hand to throw needles at the DEMON morbane without him noticing:
GM: To quote the eternal genius of Richard:
Morbane (looking down to see a trio of needles imbedded in his chest): "Who keeps throwing these?"
At several points during the battle:
GM: I just realized something very, very, very important.
Players: What?
GM: never mind.
Some foes are glass cannons:
Silverbolt: I hit DCV 11.
GM: Then you hit the piano player, who will be very pissed with you in the morning.
The alter is an Aid tool:
GM: Lets see, the stone about doubles it
I'm gonna need more dice.
GM: The electricity mage got stunned by electricity.
The players have a habit of saying things at exactly the right DEX for counter points:
Silverbolt: at least we know who the two evil guys are.
GM: two?
Pinpoint: there's a zombie ghoul thing as well
GM: and these three guys burst into demon forms.
Silverbolt: Everyone who isn't immediately running out the doors is fair game.
GM: Everyone is immediately running out the doors.
Steamjack now tries to throw the super-charged mana rock at the necromancer pianist:
GM: We interrupt your attack action to bring you these messages. And this ball of dark mana.
Steamjack is stunned by the necromancers counter attack.
City magic, means a lot of indirect powers:
GM: The light bulb explodes.
Silverbolt: Who keeps doing that?
GM: That's why I like the guy.
The morbane teleports away while everyone is blinded. Ultisaur can "see" him with his smell sense:
GM: There was a mage. He smelled bad. Then there was no mage. Except Silverbolt.
Ultisaur: He smells bad.
The players eventually throws the magic rock at a mook. The resulting explosion removed half the structural support making the building tip over. The player's counter plan: Drive the train at the building to hold it up for as long as possible while they evacuating the citizens. Then destroy the rest of the first floor, making it collapse strait down, instead of into the nearby orphanage:
Ultisaur: Let's get the hell out of here before the media arrives.
GM: Cue the arrival of the media.
Steamjack: I steam vent to the train, then activate the train's steam venting.
GM: Cue the arrival of the fire department. Now here's the fancy question: Where's your mentor?
Steamjack has a crisis of faith:
Steamjack: I'd like to point out that I have no obligation to help you so I'm going to Britain.
Silverbolt: There's a bottle of scotch in it for you if you help me.
Steamjack (instantly): I'll help you.
A typical player plan:
Steamjack: Since we've already destroyed everything I suggest we drive the train into the sewers.
Ultisaur: "wait. We don't want to dent the train. Let me strap myself in front of it first."
Ultisaur: I can punch the ground before we hit it.
GM (looking through the move through rules): No you can't. It's moving at a speed of
*tries to calculate it* FAAAAAAST.
GM: 76 STUN. You were strapped in front of this thing?
Ultisaur: Good lord
Steamjack: And it still dents. It's just a you shaped dent.
Another cutscene:
GM: Silverbolt, standing at the back of the steam train imbedded in the rubble activates his Eidetic Memory. He sees the room that used to be here, and the zombie coming out of the closet. The view shifts dramatically and we see
a ladder.
Steamjack: The train is still steam venting which makes the whole flashback thing kind of ironic, as he couldn't see a thing.
The question of whether the Stormcloud is the only train in town:
GM: there is a monorail three stories up. It was luckily not damaged by the explosion.
Steamjack: Ok, I need to go up and drive through the monorail.
Looting the room, old school style:
Silverbolt: We search through the sewers, do we find anything?
GM: Yes! Dung, lots and lots of dung.
Silverbolt: what kind of dung?
GM (quoting a poem): old dungs, and fresh dungs, | Dry dungs and dysentry
Silverbolt: From what kind of creature?
GM: Humans. Mostly.
Pinpoint attacks a zombie he had already damaged, and does minimum BODY. The zombie has one BODY left:
Pinpoint: I kick him in the balls. He's a Zombie, so it doesn't do anything, but it makes me feel better.
Pinpoint (rolling damage on his next attack on the same zombie): Please, please, one BODY or more
On a 1d6+1
Steamjack up to his usual tricks:
GM: You're entangled.
Silverbolt: Didn't he tunnel out of the entangle?
Steamjack: Actually I tunneled further into the entangle.
Pinpoint (looking at battle map): Wait, are you inside the wall? Why?!
Steamjack: Because I can, mostly.
A history lesion:
GM: They didn't have radars during the civil war? How did they stop the southerner airships then?
Steamjack: You've been playing too much
What have you been playing too much?
GM:
This
If wishes were horses:
Steamjack: I need to McGyver a light.
Pinpoint: I need to McGyver a way out of this entangle.
Ultisaur: I need to become fully conscious.
Pinpoint's needles:
GM: bought as "Restrainable: Only By Means OTHER Than Grabs and Entangles"
GM: he'll break out unless he rolls more than one one.
Silverbolt(looking at the roll): One one exactly.
Pinpoint: One one and only one one. One one one one one two.
A table full of mathematicians:
Silverbolt: Basically, the percentage of the maximum velocity used is the percentage of the END cost paid.
GM: Only here would that be considered "basic".
Summaries always sound strange:
GM: the Asian goes super speed to bandage the dinosaur.
Pinpoint: You are now a mummy.
The joys of invisible mooks:
Silverbolt (after launching an area of affect attack): "B4, do I sink your battleship?"
GM: There's a dislocated voice saying "you sank my cruiser."
Steamjack: Dislocated voice?
GM: As though a ventriloquist is making fun of you.
Steamjack sweeps his room with an autofire attack:
GM: You have a room full of
Whatever it is you fire.
Steamjack then moves on to the corridor:
GM: Silverbolt? The voice in your ear whispers "you sank my battleship."
Silverbolt attacks an "innocent" room in a DEMON complex:
Silverbolt: There is no such thing as innocence, only degrees of guilt.
Ultisaur: You're a lawyer? I'm never hiring you!
I'm uncertain about quantum mechanics.
I'm proficient in: Carnage 314, Dark Heresy, DnD 3.5, HERO system Fifth Rules Edition, Conan, D20 Modern, D20 Future, DnD 4e, HERO System 6th Edition, Inquisitor, Shadowrun 4th Edition, Star Wars Saga Edition, Cyber D20 GURPS; including Transhuman Space, Traveller, and Super-GURPs, Rogue Trader, Star Wars Revised Edition, Warhammer Fantasy Role-Play, New World of Darkness; including Vampire, Werewolf, Mage, Hunter and Changeling
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Originally Posted by Mindscape
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