Oh dear. Did he get a "I'm Brian! And so's my wife!" situation?Originally Posted by Manic Typist
Millennial Master
Member
Oh dear. Did he get a "I'm Brian! And so's my wife!" situation?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He was giving it the Last Rites.
Millennial Master
Member
Some quotes from the Embria Pathfinder game
Rhiannon: Half Elf Fighter-Rogue (looks like Hayden Panetierre)
Chyra: Undead-Aspected Sorcoress (looks like Skye Sweetnam)
Metreon the Black: Wizard (looks like young Ian McKellen)
Varga Dragonwrestler: Magenta-haired Barbarian (looks like Phoenix from American Gladiators)
Tash: Half Orc Ranger (looks like Rosario Dawson)
Leigh Reighborn: Priest of the Sun God (looks like Christian Bale)
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Rhiannon: DONT LICK MY CAPE!
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Metreon (OOC): Are you going to ride ahead to meet Varga, or wait for her to come back?
Rhiannon (OOC): Im going to wait for her. SHES the one with the Survival skill!
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GM: Meanwhile, back in the Temple, Father Whitemane is all *grumpily, while miming using a push-broom* KIDS these days!...Its all about sex, sex, SEX! No one respects the old traditions....And I just KNOW theyre all on DOPE!...
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Followed by some quotes from the Runepeaks campaign:
Anuskha: Gothy Fighter-rogue with a bladed chain (looks like Milla Jovovitch from 5th Element in black leather)
Xasha: Gothy Priestess of the Raven Queen (looks like Jennifer Connelly from Rocketeer)
Azyrabetta: Deer-centaur Ranger (looks like Mina Suvari with antlers)
Davor: Half Orc Wizard (looks like green Michael Chiklis)
Razael: 8' Giant Paladin (looks like tall Justin Hartley from Smallville)
---------------
GM: Looking along the peg-board, you notice that Pok's "go-bag" is missing.
Xasha (OOC): *Gasp!* Pernicious plunderers pilfered Pok's pack!
---------------
Azryabetta (OOC): Can I find a guard? I mean, if I scroll my cursor over them, do I see a scroll?
Xasha (OOC): ...Too much World of Warcraft for you!
---------------
GM: If my body is a temple, then clearly the priests have all been killed by Vikings!
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GM: Its like the Cliff's Notes for Honor Harrington
Xasha (OOC): "Its Gravity, b*tches!"
Azyrabetta (OOC): "With a jaunty hat!" *
*(This is hysterical if you have read Honor Harrington)
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Azyrabetta (OOC): I havent rolled a die all night....wait...no....I did. Just once. And it was a natural 20, so Im going to shut up now...
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GM: If the green slime was a hamburger, you definately wouldnt want to eat it.
All:
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The GM describes a VERY oggie special effect, involving leather-stretched skeletons, stitched eyes, and lots of internal ourgans on the external surfaces of the room
Azyrabetta (OOC): That....was disturbing...
GM: Good!
Azyrabetta (OOC): *grabs up the spray bottle we use for the battle mat and starts spritzing the GM like a naughty housecat* NO! BAD! BAD GM! BAD!
GM:
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Xasha (OOC): You dont want to miss a Fortitude save this early in the day, do you?
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[Davor is a major NPC, controlled by the GM]
GM: Ok, Davor moves to here...which provokes an attack of opportunity. *Rolls dice* Which misses.....no, wait...Davor doesnt have any of his defensive spells up! Davor...dude!....Of course, Davor's looking up at me saying "IM not the one playing me, ***hole!"
I'm suddenly picturing a guy that looks like Ray Walston's character from Fast Times at Ridgemont High doing Father Whitemane's rather disgruntled dialogue
in the above quote...
Major Tom 2009
The Classic Avenger!
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There are so many things that can go wrong with that sentence. And they're all dirty! Congratulations!
Hang onto your Hats, True Believers! Because the Brawling Balabanto is back in action. Many of you have forgotten how to say Excelsior! So I will say it for you!
Author: Foxbat For President, War of Worldcraft, Unkindness, Pretty Hate Machines. More Coming Soon.
Save Veronica Mars! Intelligent Television is taking its last breath!
CAPTAIN AMERICA LIVES AGAIN!
It's not who I am. It's what I do that defines me.
o right to all, and wrong no man.
No, it's not that simple!
Member
Not entirely sure what this reference comes from... but he DID get everyone clamoring to tell him that they were in fact "the one who was taken."
Eosin- ~ "'Wrong' is a D&Dism ~ 'I do it this way' is a Heroism."
SCUBA Hero- "If you did Turn the Palindromedary, how would you know?"
Roxanna: I need a margarita.
Niels: I don't think Dwarves make mixed drinks.
Ithan: That's because when Dwarves mix their alcohol, they get fire and explosions!
It would be wonderful. It would be like that scene in that movie that everyone quotes where the one guy says something awesome to the other guy.
Professional Cat Herder
Senior Member
Monty Python : Life of Brian
Full scene quote below:
Spoiler:
Standard Superhero
Junior Member
Well not directly from play but it was my gaming Group:
We were lazing around after character creation and the TV was running.
Suddenly the TV Trailer for the new Twilight Movie starts.
He (I do not know his name but he is the Vampire Protagonist) dramatically : "You will see me tonight for the last time!"
Everybody on the Table: "Thank Goddess! Good Riddance." (more or less, translated from German.)
(No. We are not Twilight Fans. Why do you ask ?)
"Mark my words, this internet thing is gonna catch on someday."
Brother Garrote of Loving Kindness
We Can Be Heroes....
Member
Kudos to you! Most of the characters in our games are "bodycast". Father White mane does, in fact, look like Ray Walston!
"The welfare of each of us is dependent fundamentally upon the welfare of all of us." --Theodore Roosevelt
"Facts are complicated things, people are complicated things. Facts about people are just impossible." - V
"There are apparently two kinds of drunks. Goofy drunks and mean drunks. Goofy drunks wrote comics in the Silver Age. Mean drunks write them now." - Crosshair Collie
Embria character pics
Super Ordinary Guy
Junior Member
More quotes from teh Bunneh's D&D 4th campaign - Bloodmäter.
(This is a compilation of several game sessions. My apologies if I don't quite remember the references!)
---
The Party
Brontus Rexx: A barbarian from a far-off land, kidnapped by slavers at a young age and forced to fight in the gladiatorial pits. Recently freed from bondage and seeking a new life.
Clio: A tiefling paladin, servant of the goddess of death. She is trying to atone for a terrible crime she committed as a youth.
Rody Falcos: Elven ne'er-do-well and con artist. He's the son of a wealthy merchant; he was left behind when the caravan master decided he'd had enough of the young rascal's shenanigans.
Hakkoz Stoneshanks: A dwarven priest, his tragic past has shaped him into the bold hero he is today.
Alix Twilight: An animalistic shaman from the deep deserts that surround Bloodmäter on 3 sides; she can barely contain the bestial fury within her.
Paxton Lux: A young human fighter who adventures in the hopes of finding out who she really is.
Justine: An exotic human warlock who sold her soul to the cosmos for the power she needs to destroy the sky pirates she hates.
Aester: A young dragonborn warlord who is more brain than brawn.
Berrian Wildheart: A cheerful young gnome wizard; apprentice to the most powerful and famous wizard in the city.
---
The party sets out to seek the wise hermit called Zacharius...
Berrian: The home of the sage Zacharius is about two days walk from the city...
Brontus: Wait, is that at a gnome's pace? The rest of us might be there by tonight!
Ego and alignment discussions...
Brontus: I'm not just Good. I'm Awesome!
The party is attacked by stirges and one of the biggest of the creatures latches onto the massive barbarian...
Dire Stirge (Monster): My God, this guy's full of carbs!
Anyone else heard this one before?
Justine: We can't die from this! We're PCs!
Berrian is often unlucky in battle, suffering lots of damage despite his efforts to avoid it. But this time...
Justine: Let's see...Berrian didn't get hit.
Berrian: I know! I'm as amazed as you!
A strange juxtaposition of roles during the stirge fight...
Berrian: Don't worry, Brontus, I'm coming to save you!
Brontus: Help me, Berrian! I can't take any more!
Tactical advice given to Berrian...
Alix: Find someone heavy and get behind them!
The party wizard reviews spell effects at the beginning of his turn, having retrained a number of them...
Berrian: Okay, my Rolling Thunder does additional damage...then I attack those two zombies with Chill Claws...
Brontus: Where did you get all these powers?
Berrian: I'm a bonster! Rrawr!
Who would have guessed the gnome was a playa?
Berrian: Once you go gnome, you never go home!
Explaining why Justine can't use the gnome as a throwing weapon...
Brontus: I wouldn't use Berrian as a missile weapon. He's too weedy. It'd be like throwing a sponge at the enemy.
Berrian hides behind Justine as enemies close in...
Justine: The warlock does NOT count as cover!
The warlock suffers hail of missile fire from the enemy...
Justine: But I'm not effective! Why don't you shoot at someone useful!
Don't draw the barbarian's attention...
Brontus: Now I'm enraged...AND focused!
As Alix rushes to rescue Justice, who has fallen off the edge of the skyship, the party wonders if the shifter's 'fail-field' would be in effect...
Brontus: If it was possible to make a fall to your death worse, Alix would do it.
During a scouting mission, Alix and Rody are mind controlled into thinking their companions are actually enemies...
Alix: Every time I try to sidequest, I get turned into a mental zombie and start attacking the party.
GM: That just happened once. Quit bitching.
The warlock complains about the usual marching order...
Justine: I'm always in the back of the marching order. God help the party if something ever sneaks up behind us.
Brontus: Nooo...you mean God help YOU if something ever sneaks up behind us.
A series of poor dice rolls contribute the last ratman's lifespan in the midst of battle...
Brontus: How many adventurers does it take to kill one ratman!?
Pax: Is this a joke?
Alix: I'm going to take my Extended Rest while everyone else kills this critter.
Too much manga perhaps...
GM: The monster has tentacles.
Brontus: This doesn't bode well for Alix.
Rody sneaks up behind an enemy mage and stabs him for massive damage...
Rody: What's black and white and red all over? You...if you happen to be wearing black and white.
A swarm of minion-style monsters get a number of lucky hits on the poor barbarian...
Brontus: I don't want to be killed by a pack of minions! I ain't going out like that!
Discussion of (I believe) Justine the warlock...
Aester: Surely you don't need her help to defend your honor.
Clio: Oh, no, she needs all kinds of help to defend her honor!
Rody rolls a great attack roll...
Rody (OOC): I rolled a 28 to hit!
GM: Against what defense?
Rody (OOC): Um, against Armor Class...
GM: I'm just kidding. You hit everything.
The gnome receives a scolding for rushing into the front line...
Justine: What have we told you about charging into the fray?
Berrian: That is was manly, courageous and impressive?
Brontus: That's right!
Justine: No, Brontus is allowed to be manly, courageous, and impressive. You're just a wuss.
The party finishes off a gang of dwarven pirates...
Brontus: I'm sorry I had to kill one of your fellow dwarves, Hakkoz.
Hakkoz: Whatever. He was an @$$ anyway.
Alix: Truth be told, all dwarves hate all other dwarves.
Listing the result of a powerful daily power attack against a foe...
GM: Let's see...he's bloodied, he's dazed, he's immobilized...and he's dead.
Why does the rogue always get to look for loots first?
Rody: Technically...there's no treasure until the rogue announces it to the party.
Brontus: What is it? Schrödinger's treasure?
---
And just a random comment about the Deadlands RPG...
Ghost-Angel: What's a Deadlands game without dynamite?
Lonewalker: A longer campaign.
---
Whew! Now I'm all caught up! Enjoy!
Lonewalker
"Please, storyteller, pull a tale from your pocket. Spin me a story from your coat-tails so bare. My heart has grown cold; my dreams are too old. And I need to know magic's still there."
- "Storyteller" by Mercedes Lackey
"Shared pain is diminished; shared joy is increased."
- Spider Robinson, "Callahan Chronicles"
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The Classic Avenger!
Member
Today in yet another Indianapolis Superhero Session, the heroes encountered a villian who turns people into DNA overridden combat machines for a minute or so. Well, actually, they only encountered one of the minions.
So after the battle is over, Wilt calls her mad scientist guardian (Don't ask how she got a mad scientist guardian, the government figured it was safest)
Wilt: So, we have this goo that was released when he transformed it back.
Eugene: It's interesting goo. Is it important?
Wilt: Well, it's science! Mildly disturbing science. Could you come home and watch my little brother while we talk about it at our base?
Eugene: But...I could analyze it for you.
Wilt: You're on a DATE. With Sharon! A girl, remember? (This is the problem with having a mad scientist for a guardian)
Rogue: I have an idea! You could bring Tommy to the base with us, and then Sharon could take care of him while Eugene fills us in!
Wilt: Stop helping! Just stop helping!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Later, at the base, Eugene is explaining the goo to the heroes.
Eugene: Well, it receives a radio signal after some form of triggering mechanism, which rewrites a portion of his DNA and activates a number of automated silicate/carbon compounds already active in the latent DNA rewrite, effectively turning him into a fighting machine with his mind locked away in a storage compartment.
Amethyst (II): Could you explain that to us in English?
Eugene: It rewrites his head and turns him into a lethal killing machine. I think I'm pretty much done here. I'm going to send P.T.A.H. a copy, and the local police a copy, give you guys a copy, and keep a copy for me so that I can make molecular models, mwahahahahaaaa!....(Stops momentarily) Don't tell Sharon I said that.
Hang onto your Hats, True Believers! Because the Brawling Balabanto is back in action. Many of you have forgotten how to say Excelsior! So I will say it for you!
Author: Foxbat For President, War of Worldcraft, Unkindness, Pretty Hate Machines. More Coming Soon.
Save Veronica Mars! Intelligent Television is taking its last breath!
CAPTAIN AMERICA LIVES AGAIN!
It's not who I am. It's what I do that defines me.
o right to all, and wrong no man.
Millennial Master
Member
How do you get away with this slander? I'm sure Justine's honour is as impregnable as the Maginot Line
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He was giving it the Last Rites.
Putting the Punk back in!
Super Moderator
That... is a very accurate statement, actually.
Reviewed And Indexed
Obsessed Member
We'll get back to you on that thought... just as soon as we find out where Justine placed her honor in the first place. Our best guess is a small jar at the back of the cupboard.
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Esper Weapon
Obsessed Member
Ooooooooohhh........! The cat's eaten it. 'fraid we're all out of honor, sir.
Michael Surbrook
susano @ guisarme.net
Visit Surbrook's Stuff for all of your HERO needs.
"Provide me with ships or proper sails for the celestial atmosphere and there will be men there, too, who do not fear the appalling distance."
Johannes Kepler
Putting the Punk back in!
Super Moderator
Has he? <glower>
She, sir. <innocent smile>
Sigh. Does your adventuring party have any dignity?
Nope.
Forebearance?
Nope.
Esteem?
No, sir.
Decorum?
Not today, sir. Usually get it in fresh on Wednesdays.
Nobility?
Nooooooope.
Principles?
None, sir.
...
Basil, Mayapuppies, Manic
Senior Member
You are a band of heroes right?
Yes sir.
Have you in fact any virtues at all?
Of course we do. We're heroes sir.
Do you really?
No sir.
None?
None whatsoever. I've been deliberately wasting your time sir.
Lucius Alexander
The palindromedary notes that this thread has been going a very long long long time...
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