Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

[Broadsword]

Quote of the Week for our little Wildcards group.

Skabb (Me): Hey, I forgot, my stink cloud Transfer is non-selective.
Phaze: That's OK. The rest of us took Life Support just because of you.

Broadsword -|--->

[mattingly]

Amp, the hero speedster with caffeeinated powers and a contract with PepsiCo.

Slick, the frictionless speedster from the Ultimates.

Slick attacks another PC, so Amp runs over to get him (full move just to get fairly close). Slick, on his next action, uses his "friction powers" TK to force Amp to continue his forward momentum straight into a wall.

Slick says (in a surfer dude accent), "Dude! This can of Amp is flat!"

[Houston GM]

The PCs are a UN superteam. A metastorm had awoken the zombies of thousands of soldiers who died in the Crimean War.
John Henry: Gravity / density brick
Kooun Kaze: Gravity-based energy projector
Saulk: Mystic specializing in health magic

A Ukranian lieutenant provided relevant historical details.
Lieutenant: "The Ottomans didn't lose anyone in this battle."
John Henry: "They decided to play a game: Let's have you and them fight."

The PCs encountered a necromancer who was "observing" the zombie armies. Later, Saulk spotted the necromancer flying toward the helicopter they were in.
Saulk: (to the chopper pilot) "The entity approaching us is friendly ... well ... somewhat cooperative."
John Henry: (helpfully interjecting) "Non-hostile."
chopper pilot: (somewhat freaked out by the whole situation) "Cooperative is nice. I'm delighted by the 'non-hostile', though."

The PCs overconfidently leaped into battle with a company of zombies, even though they had been warned that the zombies would be "significantly stronger" near their battle standard.
Kooun Kaze: (a couple phases later) "This is not starting out as one of our better fights."

[input.jack]

Some Embria quotes:
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GM: So, there are three Fanged Trolls and a Cave Troll. Cave Trolls have long limbs, and can climb walls like a spider.

Metreon (OOC): Oh! THOSE are what's been raiding my nightmares! Let's just pull up a chair and watch!

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Metreon: *Catches all but one of the Trolls in a fireball*

GM: Metreon, you're being attacked by a Troll you've just flamed.

Metreon (OOC): "Dont use all Caps, douchebag!"

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Leigh the Cleric has had a string of misses

Leigh: Pelor?...Mace?...I'm fighting evil?...Help a fella out!

*Rolls a crit*



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Varga's Player's watch: *Beeps randomly at various intervals*

Metreon (OOC): Dont be a tease! If you're going to beep, please have the decency to explode!

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Troll King: You do not have a moment. You have but an instant to live.

Rhiannon: Whats the difference between a moment and an instant? I'm blonde

Troll King: Err...

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We are fighting the Troll King. Varga's little sister Helda is with us.

Helda: *Moves next to Leigh* You're cute!

Leigh: *Concentrating* Not now...

Rhiannon: No, shes right. Youre pretty much cute all the time

Metreon: *Annoyed* Tip your waitress! Can we PLEASE just fight the Troll King, here!?

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PS: I want our old Emoticons back! You cant tell a " ; ) " from a " : D "

[Susano]

A session of Unknown Armies

Tony "Bender" Benedetti's opinion of local wit: "I feel I was just insulted by a lichen."

Sam Tsung (OOC) on the current conversation: "A guy from New Yawk talking to a guy from Tennessee? You'll need a guy from Chicago to interpret."

Tony "Bender" Benedetti on life: "Everything is clear through the bottom of a shot glass."

[Deadborder]

From the Star Hero game:

The Cast:

Lynn Street James: Motor mechanic from a Max Max esque world. Can drive anything, can fix anything (given enough duct tape) Played by me
Dewey: Cyborg Librarian, vhelmently opposed to Artificial Intelligence. Played by Fein
Hasp Zoloft: Cyborg Zombie Special Forces Officer. He was dead, but got over it thanks to Mad Science. Played By Dr Sinn
Starstalker: Precognatice Pterodactyl Forensic Pathologist Sniper. Need I say more? Played by Boutros.

An attempt to infiltrate an enemy headquarters has gone awry Starstalker is captured. This is a turn around, as the players have become infamous for kidnapping NPCs from wherever they go.

Lynn: We'll have to Kidnap Starstalker
Hasp: Will this count as our kidnapping for this planet?

We've met the enemy commander - and they're a very pregant woman

Lynn: We can't kidnap her. I'd feel bad

Lynn, Dewey and Hasp are disguised as soldiers, with Lynn beign the highest ranked of them. However, this won't stop people from asking questions...

NPC Guard: What are you doing here?
Lynn: We're with technical services. We need to do vital system upgrades on this shuttle.
Hasp: We need to install anti-Pterodactyl avionics.
NPC Guard: I don't recognise you, captain...
Lynn: That's captain BOOT TO THE HEAD!

Lynn is famous for lying her way through everything. So when the players are ambushed by the guards and surrounded

Lynn: (holds up a PDA) I've rigged bombs all over the base. Let me go or else I'll set them off
GM: Make an acting check

(rolls a 15)

Pregant Commander Lady: She's bluffing
Lynn: Ah crap! BOOT TO THE HEAD

The GM is describing our adversaries

GM: Hasp, you can see a Pterodactyl priest in long, flowing robes. He's invisible to everyone else
Hasp: Invisible Pterodactyl Ninjas!

[Enforcer84]

We all have the same ex-wife? What're the odds? ;-)

Well now we know how she got that way...

[input.jack]

More from the Embria Pathfinder game...

In addition to the usual crew (see my sig for details)

Helda: Barbarian thief and Varga's little sister

Liana: Metreon's former master's cute apprentice

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GM: The Troll King has nailed his iron crown to his head.

Varga (OOC): Well, he IS a Troll

Rhiannon (OOC): How "emo".

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GM: A couple of deer run past, followed closely by a pack of wolves

Varga: *Raises her bow* Dinner?

Rhiannon: *does the same* Sure!

Rhiannon: *shoots a deer*

Varga: *shoots one of the wolves*

Rhiannon: Wait...whose side are we on??

----------------

Rhiannon (OOC): Tapestries, or it never happened!

----------------

Metreon (OOC): Metreon wakes up from the revel in his room, wearing a horned helmet rakishly askew, with a rare and complex alchemical formula brewing, and the desk covered in indecipherable notations, spell ink, an inky handprint, and pictograms drawn in an inky finger trying to explain how to make it.

"How in the world did I do this?!?"

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GM: OK, so youve skinned the Gorgon, and now have whats basically a giant bull hide, covered in steel plates.

Rhiannon: Gorgon; nature's bringandine

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Rhiannon (OOC): Im Lawful Good and blonde! I HAVE to like Halflings!

----------------

Chyra (OOC): Im generally not family friendly.

Varga (OOC): If youre friendly enough, you can start a family!

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GM: Vampiric Touch is Bad Touch

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Anonymous: If you watch Jaws backwards, its a movie about a shark that throws up so many people that they have to open a beach!

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GM: Make a Knowledge: Planes check.

Rhiannon (OOC): But...we're in the mountains!

---------------

Chyra (OOC): Im going to use Grave Touch and Touch of Fatigue to status effect it into submission!

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Metreon: *hands over his Magic Missile wand* If anything goes wrong, use this to try to escape

Liana: Whats the word?

Rhiannon (OOC): "GREASE!" ;D

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Helda (OOC): 29 on Stealth! I am the wind!

Varga (OOC): *blows a "breaking wind" raspberry*

----------------

Chyra (OOC): My Spectral Hand should follow me everywhere

Everyone: *at once* BoooooOOOOOOOOOOooooooo!

[Matt Holck]

Sunset and Lady Justice are discussing the Mythral Statue

Sunset: You can't do that, You have Justice.
Lady Justice: It's not a disease...

[Drhoz]

From the 7th Sea table -

"You know the Russian Bear? That's his wife."

Edge City - Back In Town

Trawler : "Is there anything I can do to help Avatar burn through the metal?"
Zero : "Other then holding him underarm and running at the wall?"

Zero : "Um - something is suppressing my psionics down here - I can't pick you up on my mindlink, and you're standing right next to me! I'm having to blow air through my meat-flaps to talk to you! How primitive!"

Zero : "This is all your fault, you know. I could have used a mental stun attack - that causes no physical damage at all. But you had to have a psionic suppressor down here, and I have to resort to something like this."*kicks Destroyer agent in the head*

Weldun, GM : "And now for the most useless superpower in existence, which he nonetheless has"
Zero, OOC : "Telepathic contact with squid!"
Avatar, OOC : "Telepathic contact with plankton "
Zero, OOC : "Good one - 'photosynthesise, photosynthesise, photosynthesise...' 'SHUT UUUP!!!!!'"
Trawler OOC: "'Ok, all you lot, pile up into a red tide...'"
Avatar, OOC : Contact, not control
Zero, OOC : Always On

Gigaton : YOU DARE MEDDLE IN THE AFFAIRS OF DR DESTROYER!?
Zero : "Now there's a guy who takes after his boss"
Weldun, GM : "Nah, he was always like that."

In Cthulhu... Not many quotes, since the scenarios currently unfolding involve mass combat and don't leave much room for humorous quippage.

Nonetheless...

Me, GM : As the rest of you fall back from the thing in horror, Sergeant Grabatowski draws his combat knife and storms forward...
Raw marine recruit : Crap. We're about to lose the Sarge
Me, GM : *rolls the dice* ... where he punches the creature in the tentacles and rams the knife hilt-deep into its skull. It twitches once and falls over.
The recruits : *jaws drop* Go the Sarge!

Outside of the actual play -

Newbie : You had diet pepsi and now you're having a ****ing doughnut?
Barbara vdB : Cinnamon doughnut. Not a **** doughnut.
Newbie : It does have a hole in it...
Me, GM : *counts to ten, turns to Purrdence, who as predicted is red with suppressed laughter.* Yup. Smut Field

Regarding the Lovecraft/Poe/Agatha Christie mash-up I'm running at Swancon

Newbie : Agatha Christie? Is that the vampire lady?
Me, GM : Noooo, that's Anne Rice.
Newbie : Ah, I don't see much difference between them.

Both new players were browsing through the graphic novels I had in with me

Newbie : "What... The... ****???? "
Newbie's GF : "I read manga and I've never seen anything that ****ed up!"

Considering they included Garth Ennis's Kev and Warren Ellis' Transmetropolitan, that's hardly surprising

[Susano]

Both new players were browsing through the graphic novels I had in with me

Newbie : "What... The... ****???? "
Newbie's GF : "I read manga and I've never seen anything that ****ed up!"

Considering they included Garth Ennis's Kev and Warren Ellis' Transmetropolitan, that's hardly surprising

Spill... what were they looking it?

[Enforcer84]

Rhiannon (OOC): Tapestries, or it never happened!

Rep for Rhiannon's Player!

[Drhoz]

Spill... what were they looking it?

In Transmet they had a a wide range to choose from, such as those two russian security werewolves having sex on the nuclear hydrant whilst being taped by a roving newsfeed, or the flying mechanical Spoiler:

show spoiler

clitlickers

, or Spider's two-headed chain-smoking cat, but it was Kev where they went back a few pages because they didn't believe what they'd just seen.

Spoiler:

show spoiler

It's the scene where the Doctor has returned with Hawksmoor's head where his nutsack used to be

[Susano]

In Transmet they had a a wide range to choose from, such as those two russian security werewolves having sex on the nuclear hydrant whilst being taped by a roving newsfeed, or the flying mechanical Spoiler:

show spoiler

clitlickers

, or Spider's two-headed chain-smoking cat, but it was Kev where they went back a few pages because they didn't believe what they'd just seen.

Spoiler:

show spoiler

It's the scene where the Doctor has returned with Hawksmoor's head where his nutsack used to be

I haven't read either of those.... and I know realize I mistook the quote to indicate they were looking at some manga... which I thought meant I might know the series.

Never mind... move along.

[Enforcer84]

I haven't read either of those.... and I know realize I mistook the quote to indicate they were looking at some manga... which I thought meant I might know the series.

Never mind... move along.

That'll teach you