Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

[Querysphinx]

Another one from the Bloodmater Game:

The party is in the process of talking their way out of an ambush:

Justine to Brontus: One of these days I am going to teach you the meaning of Bluff!
Brontus: I hate math!

[teh bunneh]

The party pounces on a Tiefling pirate captain, hoping to use the ship's edge to their advantage...
Aester: Don't knock her off the edge of the ship!
Alix: Why not?
Aester: She's a Boss. She's probably covered in Loot!

Yeah, the heroes have lost out on a lot of ph@t l3wtz by knocking boss-characters off ledges in this game. They're starting to become really careful about who they throw off cliffs.

[BoloOfEarth]

From Sunday's D&D 3.5 game:

Background: a meteorite struck in a remote area, and was (note the past tense) apparently imprisoning something major bad, other-worldly, with lots of shadowy underlings to call upon. Whatever this "big bad" is, it's still somewhat bound to its former prison, a huge rock in a crater atop a mountain ridge. The heroes need to cast Hallow (requiring 24 hours of casting time) and bind a Dimensional Anchor on the site. All the while protecting our Druid, who is the only one high enough level to cast the Hallow. Fun, fun, fun!

While fighting one group of shadow-creatures:
Yllek: (Il'Marcum, our dragon-born sorcerer) has a very special Animate Breath, but he has to turn around first... (imitating The Spleen from Mystery Men): Weapons check! (sticks out his finger) Pull!

After blasting at "figure #5" on the battlemap and doing substantial damage:
Il'Marcum: Number Five... will hopefully no longer be alive.

Yllek is firing volleys of arrows, many of which are passing harmlessly through the shadow-creatures.
DM: You know, down below here, a caravan is probably riding though, all innocent... and then this rain of arrows begins falling...

The big bad is telepathically threatening us...
BB: You will SERVE me!
Yllek: Oh, yeah, we'll serve you, all right -- a heaping can of whoop-a**!

Bleeding profusely after battling a few waves of the shadow-creatures:
Ryan: I ask them about their dental plan.

Looking for ways to bypass the shadow-creatures' periodic insubstantiality:
Il'Marcum: I have a rod...
Leila: (disgusted look) We KNOW you have a rod...

Leila is told she needs to make a skill roll.
DM: "... Concentration."
Devlyn: "Castration?!?!"

It never hurts to have the party rogue owe you.
Yllek: (After using a Raise Dead scroll on Devlyn) You died, but *I* brought you back.

Once the Hallow was cast, the rock stops glowing and transforms into pumice. We're trying to decide what to do with it.
Ryan: What if an evil wizard wants to reconstitute it?
Il'Marcum: Reconstitute it?! What is it, a can of frozen OJ?

[input.jack]

EMBRIA Quotes ride again!

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GM: Roll for Knowledge: Arcana

Varga and Rhiannon (OOC): *sing to Viva Las Vegas* Knowleeeeedge, Arcana! ... Knowleeeeedge, Arcana! *air guitar*

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GM: ...And you also find a large, heavy book bound in iron.

Metreon (OOC): What does the book say?

Rhiannon (OOC): "I am an apprentice at a small, midwestern wizard's academy. I never thought anything like this would ever happen to me, but the other night I was in the library when I met this little blonde co-ed named Hermione who asked me if she could help me polish my wand, if-you-know-what-i-mean"

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Rhiannon: Wow....your old Wizard Master really liked himself. There are over FIFTY statues of the same grumpy old man here! There's a serious practical joke here, if we can just find it...

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Chyra (OOC): Me and Varga and Rhiannon will all swim naked and play in the crystal lake

GM: You find that the Nymph has given you the ability to breathe underwater, here

Rhiannon (OOC): Wow! The Nymph seems to really like us!

Metreon (OOC): Well, its not like she has cable...

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GM: And when they scream, they sound like slaughtered babies

Rhiannon (OOC): Um...arent slaughtered babies kind of....quiet? 0_0

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GM: You also find a silver statuette of Sehanine, the Goddess of the Moon and Lovers.

Metreon (OOC): Does it vibrate?

GM: Um....no....?

Metreon (OOC): Do you want it to? ;D

-------------------

Metreon *fumbles putting on his shoes*

Varga (OOC): You've been outwitted by your dirty socks!

Metreon (OOC): They gained sentience as they gained mass. Theyre leading a revolt now!

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MEANWHILE IN ANOTHER CAMPAIGN
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Missy: ...And even though I have access to time travel, I have to be careful about what I do, or Ill change things so much theyre unrecognizable. So, I wont do something stupid, like going back to kill Hitler. Everyone always does that!

Erica: Yeah. Why else do you think the Nuremberg Rally was so big?! It was just supposed to be Hitler, Eva, and a couple of other guys!

[BoloOfEarth]

GM: Roll for Knowledge: Arcana

Varga and Rhiannon (OOC): *sing to Viva Las Vegas* Knowleeeeedge, Arcana! ... Knowleeeeedge, Arcana! *air guitar*

Ah, but he said "Roll" for it, not "Rock and Roll" for it...

Missy: ...And even though I have access to time travel, I have to be careful about what I do, or Ill change things so much theyre unrecognizable. So, I wont do something stupid, like going back to kill Hitler. Everyone always does that!

Erica: Yeah. Why else do you think the Nuremberg Rally was so big?! It was just supposed to be Hitler, Eva, and a couple of other guys!

If time travel becomes possible, I wonder if there will be "temporal bottlenecks", certain times and places where time travellers seem to want to go. "Congratulations! You're the 100,000th time traveller to visit Dallas, Texas on November 22,1963! Next on our tour, Lakehurst, New Jersey, May 6, 1937..."

[Steve]

If time travel becomes possible, I wonder if there will be "temporal bottlenecks", certain times and places where time travellers seem to want to go. "Congratulations! You're the 100,000th time traveller to visit Dallas, Texas on November 22,1963! Next on our tour, Lakehurst, New Jersey, May 6, 1937..."

I vaguely recall that GURPS Time Travel had something called "The Limelight Effect" that limited the number of time travellers who could be present at certain events.

[Narf the Mouse]

...Well, you see, the first person to ever invent time travel went and blew up every single time travel machine. And then his own.

So now, any time someone tries to invent time travel, they end up with an explosion and end up convinced it doesn't work.

(Which is a story idea my Dad had, I think)

[Drhoz]

Edge City - Back In Town

A new PC - Spellweaver Beaver, a name kiboshed because of the predicted results when it impacted Purrdence's Smut Field

The Mystic : Oh, you're a mystic too?
Terminus : No, I use guns
Weldun, GM : And puns
Stentorian : He's a punslinger
Zero : Goddammit, I was going to say that!

Trawler continues his series of YouTube fingerpuppet dioramas of whatever happened to The Edge team this week

Weldun, GM : You never did one about the day the only ramen house downtown got wiped out. Ramegeddon.

Trawler : Do you have any idea how difficult it is to find ramen in a world of hyena-women?

Weldun, GM : Ralph Digby always was the douche-bag among the stretchers. Every time a new woman joined the group, he'd come up and say 'Hi, I've got stretching powers'. Every time.
Murray : 'Hi! I'm Strap-On Girl and I'm glad to hear that ...'
Weldun, GM : '... because I want to try out this new 18-inch - ( cut to new scene )'

Avatar : We met up when Elan was robbing a drugstore. This was before she reformed and joined that supergroup.
Zero : Nemesis. Not Asia, The Travelling Wilberrys or Band-Aid.

Terminus's Player : Murray's not actually playing.
Murray : I'm the Watcher.
Me : Shouldn't you be wearing a toga then?
Weldun, GM : No! No! I did not need that mental image.
Terminus's Player : Plus you'd need to lose the rest of your hair.

Zero : Has the reporter commented on the wooden cigar Indian yet?
Weldun, GM : No, because it matches the rest of the decor! He's going to open his article with 'Walking into the Edge base is like stepping into the 1950s...'

Apparently the real Gordon Ramsey has heard about the session of our game he starred in. He was amused by Stentorian's line about his mouth having different stats to the rest of him.

Zero : They had this whole Roman Empire thing going on -
Weldun, GM : Holy Roman.
Zero : I don't that! I focus on the 1950s! Ancient History is ancient history

No Cthulhu - my campaign appears to be haemorrhaging players Only Purrdence there last night

[Susano]

I attended synDCon over the weekend (well, Saturday anyway).

Shadowrun 4E intro game:
(7 players, none of who have played Shadowrun!)

The characters:
(no name selected) the Human Covert Operative
Count Zero the Human Technomancer (hey, the kid was stuck for a name....)
Howard Finklestein the Elf Weapon Speacialist
Key the Human "Hacker"
Shorty the Dwarf Drone Rigger
Slick the Elf Combat Mage
Yan-She (a.k.a. Smokey Snake, a.k.a. Smokey) the Ork Gunslinger Adept (guess who I played!)

First of all, I'd like to kick myself for not realizing the Ork Gunslinger Adept was A) Chinese, B) female, C) a two-gun fighter, and D) based in New York. Thus it wasn't until about 2 hours into the run that it dawned on me I should have named my character "Revy."

Howard Finklestein: "No one has any guns here."
GM: "There's a lot of bulges in pockets."
Howard Finklestein: "Those are cell phones."

Howard Finklestein mentions a problem with the person we've been hired to find: "She's dead."
GM (as Peaceman, our contact): "So? I was dead once."

Smokey comments on the rest of the party: "What's Chinese for 'I don't know these people'?"

GM: "It's written here (in the scenario) that if you're wearing the wrong socks, there's a fight."

Howard Finklestein gives the party their marching orders: "[You three] are going to pick up chicks."

Howard Finklestein (OOC... I think): "Let's go in and shoot people."
Key: "WHAT?"

Slick's player looks over his character sheet: "What's a katana?"

Howard Finklestein explains the reasons for our plan of action: "So we don't have to kick down the door and start shooting."
Shorty: "I would."
Smokey: "Yes, but you're a dwarf."

Dragon Age
This was a 45-minute fight scene to explain mechanics. So no real quotes. but....

GM (Green Ronin's Hal Margold): "Roll 2d6 and add 5."
Player's dice: "1+1."

Hong Kong Action Heroes II
Robert Dorf runs a playtest of his GenCon scenario.

There were four PCs:
Kamen Rider
The Saint of Gamblers
Vampire Cop Ricky (who I got to play! Yay!)
Varga

GM: "A creature so offensive only the Japanese could have conceived of it!"

Saint of Gamblers: "If [Hawkwoman] wasn't crazy, she'd be good arm-candy at a casino."

Vampire Cop Ricky to Varga: "You have the weirdest enemies."

Vampire Cop Ricky: "Do I even remember where I am?"

The GM explains the game scale to two new players: "Imagine you're a high school boy talking about your penis. One inch equals two meters."

"Inescapable Breast-Grabbing Hands" a.k.a. "Vampire Cop Ricky's Ultimate Grope Attack"

Kamen Rider: "A nice flying Rider Kick into the electrical balls."
This followed by:
Kamen Rider: "18 BODY to the [electrical] balls."

Vampire Cop Ricky advice to the party upon taunting Tail Lung (played by Pei Mei, who's played by Gordon Lui): "While he's breaking me into pieces, beat him up."

The GM explains Tai Lung's sudden burst of common sense: "While he's invincible... he's not invincible at this moment."

The GM comments on Varga's reaction to the scene: "Oh... you have no grasp of soap opera."

[Lucius]

Apparently the real Gordon Ramsey has heard about the session of our game he starred in. He was amused by Stentorian's line about his mouth having different stats to the rest of him.

1. How did he happen to hear about it?

2. He understood the line about "different stats?" Is he a gamer?

Lucius Alexander

The verdict is - innocent! Feed them to the palindromedary!

[Da Hooligan]

A conversation amongst players in a rolemaster campaign.

Alexis: Female warrior

Forest (players name can't recall name of character) Mage

Setting: Deep inside a mountain where several party members had already died. Currently in a crypt with a sarcaughagus on a raised platform in the center of the room.

Forest: Well let's get that thing open and see what loots inside it.

Alexis: There's no loot inside there! If we open it something is gonna jump out and kill us!

Forest: Nonsense! There's loot in there. If we don't open it someone else will open it and get the loot. OUR LOOT!

Alexis: I'm telling you there's nothing in there but a world of hurt.

Forest: Well I'm gonna open it.

Alexis OOC to the G.M.: I start looking for a way out of here.

Forest opens the sarcaughagus and as predicted an ancient evil (as if there was any other type) lich inside awakens.

Alexis: Mr. Lich I abdicate my world of hurt to Forest.

[Blue Jogger]

Our group illusionist had just had a scene where a woman handed her baby over to the illusionist. She then realized the woman was missing a foot, had a broken neck and was a zombie, who said "thank you" and proceeded to fall over dead.

Freaked out, she called my character, I quickly flew over and she explained what happened.

Me: "And that's it?"
Her: "What do you mean, 'is that it?' The dead are walking around... Does this seem normal to you?"
Me: "Honey, I fly."

[The Weapon]

Yeah, the heroes have lost out on a lot of ph@t l3wtz by knocking boss-characters off ledges in this game. They're starting to become really careful about who they throw off cliffs.

It's sad when good PCs go soft.

[Drhoz]

1. How did he happen to hear about it?

2. He understood the line about "different stats?" Is he a gamer?!

Apparently somebody here forwarded it to him. His reaction the line about his mouth have a higher speed stat than the rest of him was "HA!"

[BoloOfEarth]

Last night's Champions game:

After a teen's kidnapping was interrupted by a bunch of squirrels, a trio of mutant hunters are watching the teen, suspecting he is a mutant. Unfortunately, Sentinel lives practically across the street and gets suspicious, so she x-rays the men.

Sentinel: The guy inside the truck -- how big is he?
Styx (smirking): Well, he's "bigger" than the average man...

The heroes discover that the mutant hunters really don't have any defenses.

Subliminal: Do you have a "stun" setting?
Synergy: I have an attack that doesn't do as much damage, but this type of thing isn't what it's normally used for.
Subliminal: Kinda like a baseball bat?
GM: Yeah. It doesn't normally do BODY damage... to baseballs.

A new NPC super, the Squirrel King, takes credit for saving the teen.

Sentinel: We should probably get in touch with him.
Styx: Yeah. His name *does* start with an "S".

Investigating a missing reporter, the heroes find that a scientist, Dr. Reginald Dagget, is involved.

Synergy: I'm sorry, but all I can think about is that stupid robot dog from the old Battlestar Galactica series.
Subliminal: Oh, gawd, that thing was so irritating.
GM: Actually, that's exactly where I got his name.
(Sentinel and Serendipity say they don't know what we're talking about, so we attempt to describe it.)
Subliminal: It was like a monkey in a mini battlesuit. You just know it was embarrased as (heck) about it. "When I get out of this thing, there wil be *SO* much poo-flinging..."

The heroes discover a secret VIPER training base, and they're discussing whether to contact PRIMUS Lt. Alisha Parkinson (whom they call "Pansy"). She absolutely does NOT like supers, and the heroes like needling her whenever possible.

Subliminal: Actually, I don't have any history with her. That was my predecessor.
Styx: (sarcastic) Yeah, that'll cut ice with her.

The elevator opens up to reveal a hallway with, of all things, a reception desk.
Styx (OOC): I wave and say to the guy behind the desk, "Hey, how's it going?" then just walk past like I belong there.
Subliminal: Is your boss in? We're his three o'clock.
Synergy: Yeah. We're here for the live fire demonstration.

More to follow...