Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

[SSgt Baloo]

From Monday's "Descent" game. Matt and I are joking about how difficult this level of the dungeon could be and all at once I growl at him "I run towards trouble, buy!"

I'm not sure I understood that. Are typoes involved?

[Susano]

I'm not sure I understood that. Are typoes involved?

I suspect so.

[Haerandir]

From Wednesday's Amber Diceless RPG session:

Alaric: "I see you led with the truth. Interesting choice."

Conrad: "Well, I like to change it up. Every once in a while."

[Narf the Mouse]

From Wednesday's Amber Diceless RPG session:

Alaric: "I see you led with the truth. Interesting choice."

Conrad: "Well, I like to change it up. Every once in a while."

Even more ironic if you know the source material...

...Amber is basically a mafia game.

[Shadow Hawk]

Thursday DnD (4th)

Urr, Human Barbarian
Seere, Drow Seeker
Malice, Drow Avenger
Alvynn, Gnome Psion
Dayfyd, Half-Elf Wizard

Urr checks out a door
Urr (little girl voice): "Is anybody there?"
Alvyn (using ghost sound): "Just a big bad wolf!"
Urr: Are you coming?
Alvynn: "Not until you're naked!"

GM: What are you doing to my dragon?
Alvynn (OOC): I'm thrusting my mind into its arse.

[Susano]

Session Three of Unknown Armies

In Which Tony "Bender" Benedetti has brought Frank Sinatra back from the dead.

The GM describes an NPC as "Ving Rhames in a purple dress."
There's a moment's pause as we all try to not claw our eyes out.

Using the same technique the got him the name "Sam Tsung" (i.e. Samsung), Mike looks around Bob's apartment and comes up with a new moniker: "Epson Tide" (or Tide Epson").

Bender: "Someone else, who ain't Frank, is walking around in the Chairman of the Board's body."

OOC comment: "You don't have a PIN number [for a stolen ATM card]."
Sam Tsung (OOC): "Considering everything else I've seen Bender do, that doesn't strike me as much of a problem."

Sam Tsung (OOC): "Bender is played by Foster Brooks."

Bender: "I'm right and you're Sam. Paulie? Drive!"

Bender: "I think I'm going to be dead."

Paulie: "He could be a hooker and blow-mancer."

Bender sees what Frank is up to: "Oh, Frank! Gross!"

Greg (Paulie's player) to Mike (Sam's player): "I wish you came with subtitles."
(This was brought on when Mike made some comments about Liver-Eating Johnson, who Greg had never head of.)

"We unleash the Bender."

Bender: "I point at Frank Sinatra and say 'You, get in the bottle'."

[Cancer]

In a pulp campaign, a coalition of three international crime groups are planning to steal the French crown jewels; other coalitions are working on similar heists in other capitals in Europe the same day. (Our group is assigned to thwart one of these, in Berlin.) One of the three groups is based in Texas. Our group has concluded that we can't stop all the heists personally because of the simultaneity, and we're brainstorming about how to prevent them in other ways.

"I know! We can set word on the street out in Paris that we'll pay $100 for every dead American, and $200 for every dead Texan."

[Houston GM]

Savage Worlds, "Time for a Little Necessary Evil"

All of the earth's superheroes were defeated when the aliens invaded. Now the supervillains are the core of the resistance. Dr. Destructo, the leader of the resistance, has sent a group of supervillains to "rescue" the first lady and her children from their alien captors.

Cast of characters:
Bolt: electric speedster
Frosty: snowman brick
Monk E: monkey martial artist
Mr. Science: cyborg mentalist

Mr. Science mind controlled drone #1 to kill drone #2.
Mr. Science: "Can I keep him?"

Drone #3 tried to shoot past drone #4, but accidentally shot drone #4 in the back.
Mr. Science: "That one's not mine. Don't get confused."

Monk E buried a shuriken in drone #3's eye.
Monk E: "I am the ape of wrath."

Monk E killed three drones consecutively as they charged through a door.
Mr. Science: "You're the perfect conga line of death."

The enraged Mr. Science pulled his ray gun and fired a wide blast into the melee of Bolt, alien #1 and drone #1.
Monk E (ooc): (waiting to run into melee) I let Mr. Science go first...

Monk E: "I realize this isn't a vital spot..." (then smashed alien #1 in the head)

The first lady and her kids were guarded by the alien boss and two robots.
Alien boss: (pointing a laser machine gun at the head of the first lady) "This ends here. Surrender or I kill them."
Monk E: (peeking around the corner and showing the grenade in his hand) "Go ahead and waste them. We came here for you."
Alien boss: "Oh shit." (pointing at the villains and yelling two his robots) "Kill them!"

Mr. Science mind controlled the alien boss.
Mr. Science (ooc): I'm having him sing "I'm a little teapot."

After the supervillains captured the alien boss.
Mr. Science: "Let's get the kids out of here and kill the boss."
Monk E: "Can't we waste him in front of the kids?"
Mr. Science: "Sure. I'm good with kids. I used to have a TV show."
Frosty: "Dr. Destructo said we couldn't kill or injure the hostages. Mentally traumatizing them is okay."

[Tigereye]

From my Euro-Champions Saturday game:

Big Cast O' Characters. University of Milan high-tech research lab was raided by what was one of Mechanon's Deceptinons. Our Empath, Kukri, found the android in a crowd, but Kiyo (a huge-but-friendly oriental dragon who is the alternate, completely separate form of a paraplegic Japanese girl) wants to make sure:

Kiyo, talking to a cage: "Squeak?" ("Is that the human who smelled odd to you?")
The rabbit in the cage: "Sque-eek." ("Yes, that's the one.")
Imagine a fierce 45-foot-long dragon talking in Beast Speech to a rabbit and you've got the picture.

Titan, our resident "Tin Man": "Kiyo's a dragon, so is immune to biowarfare. Ditto Boro-chun, so long as he doesn't breathe. I have a sealed suit that should be proof against most agents. Who else might be immune to super-bugs?"
Super-Pimp, a mentalist former bad guy in the '70s who is now a superhero today: "Well, if it involves STDs, I'm immune!"
Rest of Party: "Ewwwww!!"

[teh bunneh]

From my D&D4 game, in reference to the party's Warlock (who has a rather "direct" way of approaching problems)...

Aester: She's not evil. She's just quick to take advantage of the moral ambiguity presented in the 4th edition D&D alignment system.

[Klytus]

Not game related, but it is from one of the ladies I game with, and is simply too good not to share. The context would take all the charm out of it...

"can I plead for a bullet between the trojans?"

[input.jack]

Some new Embria quotes...

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GM: Then theres a HUGE explosion! Great crowds of people are running around in the streets like Muppets with their heads cut off!

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GM: The crowds are fleeing the area near the Mayor's palace

Metreon (OOC): We run towards the blast area.

Varga (OOC): Because we're stupid!

Metreon (OOC): The word in the Common tongue is "Adventurers"

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The Mayor: *Explains what happened*

Rhiannon: So let me get this straight...youre telling us that something went "wrong" with your having an Infernal Duke chained up in your basement that you were using as a power source for your house? YA THINK!!

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Metreon (OOC): Varga and I play "Good Cop / Bad Cop"...or in this case "Barbarian Cop / Wizard Cop"

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GM: .. And this rubble-strewn pile over here was once the Guest House.

Chyra: *toes daintily at the debris where the building used to be* I will assume that they have been woken up by the event.

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Vampire: LOOK into my EYES, little girl!

Chyra: *Just giggles*

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Metreon (OOC): I cast Color Spray, to try to dazzle them.

GM: *Mimes "jazz hands" over a cone effect, and starts singing "Inna Godda Davida" *

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Metreon: *casting a spell* Shadrach ...ME..... Zintho!

[This is only really funny if youve watched the Teen Titans cartoon]

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Rhiannon: Didnt you make any Potions of Remove Paralysis?

Chyra: No! How would you drink them?!

[Klytus]

Rhiannon: Didnt you make any Potions of Remove Paralysis?

Chyra: No! How would you drink them?!

As a suppository, maybe? They sure as heck wouldn't be able to struggle to resist... ;-)

[Ragnarok]

From our recent Colonial HERO game:

Bounty Hunter: YOU MUST SURRENDER!

Rotman: The only thing I have to surrender....is THIS! *whips out his pistol, and shoots Cael (me) in the thigh*



(Rotman's player had forgotten to switch the target in the attack macro, so he accidentally hit me. The GM switched the hit to the Bounty Hunter but I was ROFL for quite some time...)

[Major Tom 2009]

I would but two days later he told me I drive like Homer Simpson.
CES

It could have been worse... he could have told you that you drive like Marge Simpson.


Major Tom 2009