Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

[Karmakaze]

*raises eyebrow* Interesting. I'd actually have to see your reasons, of course, but it's even said the best way to take on a Malkavian is by playing along with their delusions. *shrugs* Of course, at that point, the person was only playing for time anyway. The phrase "Nothing to lose" comes to mind.

It's a little complicted, but very basically, she'd been taken from an abusive home relatively young. She wound up more or less warehoused in indigent care at various institutions. Most of her caregivers found out she could be plunked in front of a TV and she wouldn't cause trouble. The only happy people she ever knew were the people on TV. When she was turned, she turned to the happy TV people for a framework to deal with it. The only vampire on kid's tv is the Count. So, when the pressures of being a horrible undead monster overwhelmed her, she pretended to be like the Count. She never thought she *was* the Count, because she understood that TV wasn't real. If TV were real, then there would be nice people and happy people in the real world, too, and she knew for a fact that wasn't true.

I regularly had people try stuff like "Look! Bert and Ernie are over there!" At which point I gave them the look of pure contempt "Bert and Ernie are tv characters. They're not real." The derangement was not that she thought she was a TV character, it was a sort of mix of stunted emotional development, severe depression and OCD. The maniacal counting and laughing was just a coping mechanism.

[teh bunneh]

Out-of-game conversation that I thought was funny...

Player 1: So, Bill, how are you?
Me: I'm solid.
Player 1: Solid? What does that mean? Is it good?
Player 2: Is it better than being liquid?
Me: Well, it's certainly better than being gassy...

[Ura-Maru]

“As you like to say, Champions taught you “With great power, comes great desire to USE that power.”
“No, Champions taught us that if you throw a helicopter into the lobby of a bank during rush hour, there’ll be civilian casualties.”
“That too.”


From last weeks D&D game:

Me: “I use my breath weapon on it for . . . 18 damage, lightning.”
GM: “Ok. Make an intelligence check.”
Me: “Please don’t tell me that electricity heals it.”
GM: “Ah . . . you can voluntarily fail the check it if you want.”


GM (Different, a post-apoc): “The bush seems to be reaching out for you with it’s branches. Make a listen check.”
Me: “Ah, six. I don’t hear the guys sneaking up behind me while I’m entranced by the tentacle bush.”
GM: “Ah . . . dammit.”

I use my metagaming powers only for good, I assure you . . .

---
From another game with the same group:
GM: “You, know, you’re STILL a gamer. The fact that you carry a gun and can take people down and throw them in jail can’t change the fact that you’re a D&D geek.”
Player: (Mournfully) “No, it’s all because I’m short . . .”

Admittedly, that was kind of a weird tangent . . .

[CrosshairCollie]

"This is why dwarves and orcs are natural enemies. When they try to work together, it becomes a competition to see who's the bigger testosterone-laden macho idiot."

[James Gillen]

Repped.

JG

[Dr. Anomaly]

"Oh, god...I'm going through magical puberty, aren't I?!?"

[teh bunneh]

Several good ones from last night's UNITY 2010 (Champions) game...

The uncontrollable samurai hero Red Dragon was sent to help capture an alien transport ship...
Thich Nat Han: Remember, no plan ever survives contact with Red Dragon.

-----
After Red Dragon has slain several foes:
Vilkacis: You should not fingerpaint with your enemies.

-----
Once Red Dragon came down from his enraged state:
Me: Killing all those aliens? It was better than sex. Well, you assume so, anyway.

[Susano]

Two from yesterday's Neon Labyrinth game:

Nestor's character (OOC) to mine character: "You're cleaner than most shih I've met."

Robert the GM to Captain Obvious: "Use the HERO dice. That's what I've been using and look where your character is now."

[OddHat]

"That poor man needs help."
Katherine Venture, after Nikola Tesla reveals the threat of alien invasion

"Why are you trying to kill me?"
- Katherine Venture, to Nikola Tesla

"I have five doctorates!"
-Tanaka, after being told to go get the car

[bigdamnhero]

In a fantasy campaign, where one character has a "symbol of death" cast on the inside of his hat for last-ditch emergencies, after we found out it wouldn't affect the rest of the party:

"Oh good, we're attuned to Wagashi's hat!"

Which somehow reminds me of a Pulp game awhile back. One of the women players was running this (to all appearances) ditzy secretary, who kept whining "Isn't anybody going to help a lady with her bags?!"

Then we got jumped by ninjas, and the "ditzy secretary" took out 2/3 of them by herself. After which, all us guys were falling over ourselves to carry her bags for her!


bigdamnhero
"Jayne, your mouth is moving. You might want to see to that."

[daeudi_454]

Player: "Is he moving?"
GM:"he is laying there in a twisted heap, jerking in what appears to be convulsions."
Player:"I keep jumping on his chest"

[hooligan x]

Dr Benedict and Palmer are outside a bar full of vampire policemen. They need to rescue a woman who has been offered up as refreshments but are outnumbered 10 to 1. Palmer suggests Benedict drive his 120 year old Deusenberg through the front of the bar to surprise the vampires.

Benedict: "That's no good. I'd never survive a high speed crash into a wall."

Palmer: "Well, turn into Captian Mysterion and he can drive through the wall."

Benedict: "Mysterion can't drive a stick, he's from Mesopotamia!"

Palmer: "Then I'll drive through the wall."

Benedict: "Can we please find a plan that doesn't involve crashing my automobile?"

[Dr. Anomaly]

"And for his part, the party of the first part shall take part in a party with the parts of the party of the second part, regardless of whether or not the party of the second part wishes thier parts to take part in a party with the parts of the party of the first part."

[ghost-angel]

"And for his part, the party of the first part shall take part in a party with the parts of the party of the second part, regardless of whether or not the party of the second part wishes thier parts to take part in a party with the parts of the party of the first part."

Did someone manage to say that in one try with a strait face and not read it off a flashcard? If yes... you game with a lawyer don't you?

[Chimpira]

In this week's game, I got a new player (Deborah) that was the girlfriend of one of my players and a good friend of another (Jason).

We play for a little while and then Deborah turns to Jason

Deborah: Hey, Jason. I am surprised that you are not playing a woman in this game.

Jason: Wha...What do you mean?

Deborah: It is just that you like playing those girls in online games so much.

Jason: Oh..Er.. Well, I play a mix. Sometimes girls. Sometimes boys.

Deborah: Oh, okay.

In my game Jason is playing a woman pretending to be a man and none of the other players know. I nearly spit out the coke I was drinking and had to excuse myself to the bathroom to have a quick laugh.