Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

[CandidGamera]

Let's see - again, not this week, but nice quotes..

D&D, 3rd Edition. I'm playing a Elven Ranger/Rogue with a serious Batman "Always-Prepared, Borderline Sociopath" vibe.

We're commissioned by a country to ride along with a shipment to their northern colonies - it seems an Abyssal Dire Shark has been sinking the supply ships - and if this last batch doesn't get through before the winter freeze, all is lost.

My character being who he is, he spends most of his time in the Crow's nest, on lookout. He has a massive bonus to Spot checks, so it's no surprise that he is the first to spot the shark. He slides down to the deck, to comment to his compatriots : "We're gonna need a bigger boat."

I just couldn't resist!

---------------------------------------------------

One of the characters I play from time to time is Victor. Victor is a Swashbuckler and Wizard (Fire Elementalism) in a friend's homebrewed system. (http://www.greylotus.org - Shameless plug!) Victor is very, very smart. Victor pretends to be a very, very dim fop. Victor also like to tie a cloth with two eyeholes over his face and buckle swashes as 'the Crimson Mask' - but that's neither here nor there.

The point is, he gets some good lines now and then. Once, we were commissioned to rescue a Dragon from an evil Princess who'd imprisoned him in a dungeon. I piped in with "Oh, that's preposterous. Whoever heard of combining dungeons with dragons?"

I know, I know. My favorite line I've delivered through him is probably the following :

We were on a little island north of the main continent. We were after 'the Water Crest' - a mystical artifact we needed, that lay within the volcanic tubes that undermined the island. We found the artifact - and it's magic was holding the lava at bay. So we grabbed it and ran out very fast, as the lava - freed - began to move upwards.

We were having a conversation with the mayor-type of the Island, and I was assuring him everything was going smoothly, nothing to worry about, et cetera. The GM informs us that the island was shaking, and began to sink (somewhat) into the ocean - apparently the pressure of the lava had been holding up the very tall island, and as the lava roiled out to meet the sea, there was a corresponding drop in height.

I sort of cleared my throat nervously, and added to the mayor : "Well, some settling may occur."

[Lil' Tweaker]

If you have young girls around (not like that, you sick-os!) you know that every young girl want to be a princess. Thank you Disney. So this is from my beautiful and innocent niece...
"I want to be a Princess Chef!"
"Umm, ok so you want to be a cook for a princess?"
"Oh no, I want to cook princesses... for Dragons!"
Oh yea, subvert that dominant paradigm girl!

[Kirby]

Heh, very cute. Is that princess "chief" or princess "chef" though?

[Lil' Tweaker]

Heh... yeah, well thats why I draw pretty pictures for a living.
Edited.

[Dr. Anomaly]

*Ahem*. This one obviously had to be "blipped", but still, it almost had me choking when it was said:


"Remember, Gravity is a harsh mistress."

"Yeah? A mistress? Where is she? I'd **** her!"

[Cancer]

*Ahem*. This one obviously had to be "blipped", but still, it almost had me choking when it was said:


"Remember, Gravity is a harsh mistress."

"Yeah? A mistress? Where is she? I'd **** her!"

Man, I'd have to bite back a huge number of geek jokes about black holes here....

[Lethosos]

And impacts from celestial bodies...

[Cancer]

One campaign I ran was a Fantasy Hero campaign, where the bad guys were a theocratic interstellar empire who masked their hi-tech stuff under religious trappings. Among their hi-tech stuff were neural whips, blaster pistols, ten-pound high explosive charges, some mind reading, etc.

At one point the PCs had overcome enough bad guy soldiers to have accumulated a number of captured weapons and had armed themselves with them. They knew some of the things they needed to know to use them, but one thing they hadn't learned at this point was how to read the charge indicator on the blasters ... they couldn't read the "Charges remaining: X" readout.

So sneak-thief infiltrates into a temple-fortress which has had its underground works opened by an explosive charge. He nips through the passages easily, and succeeds in coming up behind a warrior-priest completely by surprise. Because the baddies have a spiffy armor kit, he doesn't think he has any way of taking out this guard quickly, so he sneaks up and puts the muzzle of his an inch behind the guard's head, and presses the firing stud.

There are no charges left in his blaster (I've been keeping track) so my response is, "The blaster goes 'click'."

"S**T!!" hisses the thief player.

"Funny, the guard recognizes that sound too, and he says the same thing."

[Kirby]

"Remember, Gravity is a harsh mistress."

"Yeah? A mistress? Where is she? I'd **** her!"

Man, I'd have to bite back a huge number of geek jokes about black holes here....

And impacts from celestial bodies...

Q: So what would happen if a male celestial body impacted the black hole of Gravitar?

A: There'd be a new Milky Way!

[Manic Typist]

One campaign I ran was a Fantasy Hero campaign, where the bad guys were a theocratic interstellar empire who masked their hi-tech stuff under religious trappings. Among their hi-tech stuff were neural whips, blaster pistols, ten-pound high explosive charges, some mind reading, etc.

At one point the PCs had overcome enough bad guy soldiers to have accumulated a number of captured weapons and had armed themselves with them. They knew some of the things they needed to know to use them, but one thing they hadn't learned at this point was how to read the charge indicator on the blasters ... they couldn't read the "Charges remaining: X" readout.

So sneak-thief infiltrates into a temple-fortress which has had its underground works opened by an explosive charge. He nips through the passages easily, and succeeds in coming up behind a warrior-priest completely by surprise. Because the baddies have a spiffy armor kit, he doesn't think he has any way of taking out this guard quickly, so he sneaks up and puts the muzzle of his an inch behind the guard's head, and presses the firing stud.

There are no charges left in his blaster (I've been keeping track) so my response is, "The blaster goes 'click'."

"S**T!!" hisses the thief player.

"Funny, the guard recognizes that sound too, and he says the same thing."

Why did the guard curse? Because someone spooked him from behind?

[Enforcer84]

"Well, if we've pieced the clues together right, we're pretty much doomed, I am now officially the second mightiest being I've ever encountered and I spent yesterday shoe shopping with the instrument of our destruction."

- Sturm the Ogrun.

[Log-Man]

After a bit of infighting and the suggestion; "20,000 credits split 3-ways is a lot more than 20,000 split five ways," one of the players adjusted the books...

"We play System 5th Edition, Hero is not involved."

Nice Gotta remember that line.

[CandidGamera]

Let's see, I couldn't quite decide if this belonged in my Cool Moments in RPG History thread, or this one, so I'll just put it here.

AD&D2.0. The world had been devastated by meteor shower. The humans and demihumans had gone underground, and the humanoid races like the Orcs had crawled out to the surface, taking the abandoned cities for their own.

My character was Garion, and Elven Wizard with a foul-temperament who loved to study monsters. He'd managed to accumulate quite a few odd, low-powered magical items in his time.

He and his dwarven compatriot were sent to one of the cities on a supply run, to see what they could gather. They stealthed amongst the orc patrols, visiting a few key buildings to recover items.

Unfortunately, luck wasn't going to let them have a free pass, and they heard Orcs coming down the hall towards their position, and there was no way out. So I thought for a moment, and was ready as the Orcs burst through the door.

I held my arms aloft and activated my 'Copper Bracelets'. For those unfamiliar, their power is that they glow a pale green. In my best booming voice, I shouted at the orcs, "FOOLS! Tremble before the might of my Bracelets of POWER!"

The Orcs critically fail a morale check. They bolt, and we escape, scot-free.

[CandidGamera]

Oh, I've got lots more, they just keep percolating back to my brain.

I once played in the most high-powered RIFTs game ever - the acquisition of power was slow, but at the end, we were hunting Alien Intelligences for sport. Fun, in an over the top way. I made this comment, in regards to my character's power :

"I was bitten by a radioactive God."

This has become a catchphrase in the local group, for powerful characters. We also have the Ranma variant : "Fell into spring of drowned God."

-------------------------------------------------------------------

I was playing the d6 DC Universe game, once upon a time, and the GM was running a 'Future Legion of Superheroes' campaign. I was in the role of Chlorophyll Kid II, but I was musing on some ideas for replacement characters, should I perish.

There were a lot of legacy types, despite our being tens of thousands of years in the future, so finally, I came up with :

"Magic-user, nebbishy descendant of a 20th century mystic. Neville Constantine, Heckblazer!"

Never got to make the character though. I'm still hopeful that someday I might.

[Archon]

Another one from my last session of Exalted.

For those who don't know, you make a roll of Charisma + Performance when you make a prayer to a god. The more successes the more likely it is you get some sort of assisstance from said diety.

We're competing an air race that's something like Cannonball Run II crossed with Autoduel. We need a clarification on some of the race's esoteric rules. My character makes his prayer and rolls 9 successes. The GM describes the arrival of the prayer at the god's palace like this.

SLAP!!! A golden glove smacks the god in the face as a voice goes, in the best English sergeant's accent, "Message for you, sahr. A reply is requested."