Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

[Hermit]

Playing a silly pick-up game. I'm a hard-boiled detective whose internal monologue isn't very internal at all -- he narrates everything that he thinks, does, and even says. My wife is playing a teenaged Buffy-type character. We meet for the first time...

Me: (deadpan) Yeah, she was a looker all right. Legs that went all the way up and then back down the other side. A body that would make a bishop kick out a stained glass window. She was a little young for me, but you know what they say -- if there's grass on the field, play ball.
Tammy: (disgusted) Do you always talk like that?
Me: (deadpan) ...she asked in a disgusted tone. Yes, I replied. It's what I do.

Heh. I love playing those types of guys

[Archon]

Archon...Archon.

Forgot it already, eh?

Archon's B13 game: The quotes.


Clyde (Right Turn): Damn it, stop moving him around already!

Archie: Okay, okay. I'll get get him behind the counter while you Probe his a**.

and...

Clyde: Hold him down. I'm not done with him yet!

Needless to say the Gay jokes went flying.

Ah, but now I've remembered the second part of the scene.

Clerk realizes his mind is being read and runs for the back door.

Shogi, the samurai, tackles him as he runs past the drink dispenser, "Quick, I've got him down. Hurry up and finish him off!"

More laughter ensues.

[James Gillen]

Playing a silly pick-up game. I'm a hard-boiled detective whose internal monologue isn't very internal at all -- he narrates everything that he thinks, does, and even says. My wife is playing a teenaged Buffy-type character. We meet for the first time...

Me: (deadpan) Yeah, she was a looker all right. Legs that went all the way up and then back down the other side. A body that would make a bishop kick out a stained glass window. She was a little young for me, but you know what they say -- if there's grass on the field, play ball.
Tammy: (disgusted) Do you always talk like that?
Me: (deadpan) ...she asked in a disgusted tone. Yes, I replied. It's what I do.

I should run a character like that.

JG

[Kirby]

Playing a silly pick-up game. I'm a hard-boiled detective whose internal monologue isn't very internal at all -- he narrates everything that he thinks, does, and even says.

I have had two instances in gaming where someone's done that; the recent one was Hermit having Foxbat do that while interacting with another PC. I thought it was totally hilarious (if I recall, Foxbat was wearing his uniform, with a fedora and trenchcoat as well)!

Heh. I love playing those types of guys

And I find them very amusing! I'd like to play one myself; but, I don't know if I could pull it off.

[SCUBA Hero]

From last Saturday's Champions session:

1. [Situation: The GM is explaining to a player who was not present at the session why all heck broke loose]

"The problem is, Iron Maiden has the social skills of an avalanche."

2. [Situation: The hero team is debating the ethics of killing demons in front of their offficial govenment Secret Service liason]

Ryucin (Japanese mystical hero) "Technically, you don't *kill* demons, you just send them back to the Underworld."

Secret Service liason "Oh, then there's no problem; you're just extraditing illegal aliens."

[James Gillen]

In our new Fantasy HERO game Wednesday, the group's Half-Orc Cleric received a couple of pet NPCs: a tough Orc bodyguard and a rather sniffy cloistered scribe who wrote down *everything* the Cleric said (right down to 'Stop writing down everything I say') and otherwise antagonized people for various things, including the "peasant" like behavior of the female PCs. It got to where the Cleric volunteered to spend a gold piece for him to get entertained by a prostitute (which shows you how great a Cleric he is) but the scribe righteously refused.

Anyway, the group was on the road and in the middle of the night some demonic assassin bypassed the camp watch. The Rogue PC looked around and found the scribe's head roasting in the campfire with his ribcage cut open and stretched (what the Norse would call a 'blood eagle').

With this gruesome death, the Rogue immediately ran over to the Cleric's bedroll and had to shake him awake. She said, "Abbot, Abbot! Your scribe is dead!"

The Cleric said. "Ah, so my dream came true. I'm checking my sword for bloodstains."

JG

[jack-o-lantern]

From Serenity:

"I'm a Scotsman and that means any drinking vessel is an improvised weapon in my hands"

[CandidGamera]

The last batch from Eric, Master of Monotone.

(after he'd taken out some guards at a party, and the group was deciding if he should kill the guards to cover his tracks, Eric discusses his character's motivation.)
Eric : I'm not a serial killer, I'm just bored!

Eric : You have about as much loyalty as.. I don't know. What's something with low loyalty?

(after referring to someone, in character, as a Madam, to which they seemed to take offense)
Eric : .. cause you kinda look like a 'Madam'.

Eric : It's always an evil cult! Why can't some nice people try to take over the world?

(regarding my character's role in an Epic D&D game)
Eric : You know stuff about things.

[Chuckg]

From our group's 'change of pace' venture into the fantasy genre yesterday...

Things you do really do not want to hear from the young scion of nobility whom you fished out of the harbor, where some evil sorts had obviously left him to drown:

"My true name is... Emperor Niall VI of the Rystani Empire."

[Karmakaze]

Secret Service liason "Oh, then there's no problem; you're just extraditing illegal aliens."

We once exorcised a villain in Stronghold to send the demon half away and set the human soul within to rest. The administrator had us fill out a "prisoner tranfer form" (transferring said demon to hell, apparently)

[Arac-4105]

The last batch from Eric, Master of Monotone.

Eric : You know stuff about things.

Kinda reminds me of a favorite run-on quote from an old friend:
"He's the guy at the place with the stuff and the things and the stuff...."
(it's all in the delivery, trust me)

[ChibiTemplar]

Happened recently in a Dragonlance D&D 3.5 game I run. The group was fighting some Ogres, and the Wizard waded into melee combat, took a hit, went down to 0.

His next action, he cast web, effectively trapping the ogre next to him, and putting him to -1 hp. He got smashed next round.

The room burst out in laughter at the consquences of that...

[Enforcer84]

Happened recently in a Dragonlance D&D 3.5 game I run. The group was fighting some Ogres, and the Wizard waded into melee combat, took a hit, went down to 0.

His next action, he cast web, effectively trapping the ogre next to him, and putting him to -1 hp. He got smashed next round.

The room burst out in laughter at the consquences of that...

hmmm. I didn't know I was in your game sounds like my "wizard" tactics.

[ChibiTemplar]

I guess it happens in every group.

Almost forgot to mention something else:

Same fight, right after the ogres entered.

One of the party's rogues was perched on a statue next to the group's scout, sniping at enemies. The rogue shot at one of the ogres, hit, and yelled "I got one!" The ogre then proceded to walk over and knock him to -3 in one shot. There was much amusement from that. From joy to twitching in less than six seconds...

[Basil]

Eric : You know stuff about things.

Kinda reminds me of a favorite run-on quote from an old friend:
"He's the guy at the place with the stuff and the things and the stuff...."

Articulate, they aren't.