Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

[SKJAM!]

Ooh, someone actually used Totengeist?

Neat!

SKJAM!

[Koshka]

In last night's D&D 3.5 game, one player has always been a little overconfident about some of his skill usage. We got into a fight with a giant crocodile, and he announced that he was tumbling over it to set up flanking. Then he rolled a 1. He still would have made a normal tumbling check, but since he was cutting through an occupied square the tumble failed, the croc got an attack of opportunity, and one chomp later that PC is at -2 hit points.

"I guess I shouldn't have rolled a 1."

[Enforcer84]

Our most recent (D&D) game. The four of us are a prototypical adventuring party...Fighter, Rogue, Mage, and Priest. We are youngsters that recently left our tiny home town to see the world. Our first big adventure centered on our town council, the most influential man in town had been skimming off the top. Over the years the town had fallen on hard times due to his greed. We uncovered it and ran him off. Fast Forward three months and we are in the town of Port Fulson (not to be confused with Fort Poleson), and we know he's here. Magnyr, my CG figher wants to pay the man a visit, we have his local address. The CN thief is all for it and the NG Cleric (with int 8) is ready to go. But the LG Mage says that we can't break the law just to get someone we think is bad. He's a citizen of the town and hasn't done anything wrong here. The argument gets heated.
Just then our hidden benefactor, a paladin announces his presence (he payed for us to be healed after our last successful but costly battle. He wants us to aid him in destroying a great evil. The mage is practically tripping over himself to impress this guy.
The task? Taking an evil artifact from the house of a corrupt city official.
So we're making plans and Magnyr finally stands up and says:
"I am sorry sir, but we will not be involved in a plan tha breaks into the house of an upstanding citizen of Port Fulson, on merely your word that he is evil! Come on, Ichabod (the mage), let's leave."
Ichabod: "...I hate you all..."

[Blue]

This is actually from 2 weeks ago, but I remembered it during lunch, so here goes...

The Setup: We're playing a variant of the World of Darkness. One ability "Dream", where for each dot in Dream you can overnight dream for a temporary dot of an ability. We had been using dream to learn things like Chinese, Arabic, or any other language for places we were visiting.

ME: "I bought a dot of Might, so now I can go back to using my dream for Arabic. But no, I think I'll take Heiroglyphics."
GM: "Ok."
PLAYER 1: "Is Heiroglyphics written only?"
ME: [snickers]
GM: "Yes."
ME and PLAYER 2: [Laughing]
ME: "How do you suppose that would sound? Bird - Sun"
PLAYER 2: [as if answering] "Bird - Sun - Bird - Eye - Pyramid - Boat..."

PLAYER 1 simultaneously smirked and gave us an evil stare.

[Madstone]

When last we saw our heroes...

Our resident megabrick had a monkey on his back. Literally. A four foot four-armed idiot ape demon, was jumping on his back and squeezing like hell, which our brick promptly ignored. The creature started screaming "You surrender? You surrender?!"

Our brick shrugs and, rolling his eyes says "Yeah. I give up."

The ape creature said "Good!" and jumped off of him.

[Derek Hiemforth]

Heh. I was going through notes from the Challenge of the Super-Friends game at this year's KublaCon, and came across this line from none other than our illustrious Darren Watts (playing Aquaman):

"Galloping Groupers! Superman is drowning and Uranus is made of water!"

[Koshka]

Well, it cracked up everyone at the table ...

I'm running STAST, last session the heroes captured their first COIL agent. For those who don't have that book, 5th edition COIL agents are fanatically loyal.

Player 1 (holding the agent in the air in one hand -- yes, he's a brick): Do you surrender?

Me: He spits in your face.

Player 2, to player 1: Missile Deflect it!

[Magmarock]

Last night, in our Superhero game, UNIT 1, the following occured...


Location and situation: Honduras. At a power station where a giant, globular, corrosive-leaking monster was sucking up the electricity so it could grow more powerful and divide (procreate).

Team leader is Union Jack, who is spraying down the creature with a fireman's hose (yeah, he flew in the whole truck first, because we found out the creature was suseptable to water). UJ tells my PC, Tiger-Eye, to shut down the power switches so it can't feed.

Madox 2 another team member is trying to keep the monster busy, but it still focuses on Tiger-Eye because she is closer.

So there I am, dodging this huge moster and trying to open one of the several locked boxes.

Me: I'm going to rip the cover off. (This is mee being stupid because I could've used a martial maneuver to do more damage)

GM: Roll your strength

Me, after rolling 5 dice and getting 3 ones: Ah, man! This character sucks!

Another Player, my brother, no less: It's not the character...

Me: Hey!

[Klytus]

In our Champions game, a villian named Wendigo (think Sabretooth from the first X-Men movie, only with white hair) charges and rips into Electrum, the robot-brick of the PC's. He does 20 BODY with a 4d6 HKA, but blows the STUN roll, so the brick takes only 5 BODY and 5 STUN. Electrum says "Here's how its done, Chewbaca!" and rolls a 5 on his to-hit roll, and on the 12d6 punch, he rolled 8 6's!

Later that game, one of my epic villians, Dr. Z, contains one of the heroes (Silhouette) in his STR 60 telekinesis (which manifests as a glowing white sphere) and thretens to kill her unless he gets what he wants. Her teammate (Foxfire) rushes back to base to tell the others "Zee has her in one of his White Balls o' Doom!"

[bblackmoor]

Our resident megabrick had a monkey on his back. Literally.

It probably won't be as funny second-hand, but during the climactic battle between our mystery powers characters and the equally mysterious Mr. Mental, we had finally found and confronted Mr. Mental, only to discover that he was an experimented-upon gorilla wearing a brain-amplification helmet (the brain-amplification helmet looked kind of like Robbie The Robot's head).

At one point Mr. Mental had us on the ropes, with one of us tossed out the window and my character trapped in a monkey cage. Powerless to get out of the cage, Mr. Mental started throwing peanuts at me and shouting, "Does the human do tricks? Would the human like a PEANUT? Does the human want a BA-NA-NA?"

Much of the humor was due to the GM's delivery. I guess you had to be there to hear his syllable-by-syllable emphasis on BA-NA-NA. I was rolling.

[Optimal D]

"I'm telling you, Takofanes is the answer!"

[Korvar]

"I'm telling you, Takofanes is the answer!"

If Takofanes is the answer, I'm not sure I want to know what the question is...

[Celt]

The setting: Dragon, our 16 year old Japanese sorceror, is meeting with the evil half of a set of Japanese VIPER school girl twins in her apartment.

Armsman: "Make sure to bring some protection"

Dragon harrumphs and heads to his meeting, whereupon he is assaulted by VIPER agents and calls on the team commlink for help.

Armsman: "I told him to bring protection."

[Amused]

Lately in our Seventh Sea game a date with another Rose and Cross Knight (Tara-Leila) had been pushed onto Jim's character.
When asked about whether he was going to further the relationship. Jim was bright enough to anwer with...
"If she is open to a relationship other than night to night."
The whole room busts up
"With a K!!"

~Amused~

[devlin1]

"You just killed your father. Gain two Dark Side points."