Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

[CrosshairCollie]

At one point Mr. Mental had us on the ropes, with one of us tossed out the window and my character trapped in a monkey cage. Powerless to get out of the cage, Mr. Mental started throwing peanuts at me and shouting, "Does the human do tricks? Would the human like a PEANUT? Does the human want a BA-NA-NA?"

Ah ... this was a line from an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000, delivered by Kevin Murphy as Professor Bobo. If he did it in the same accent and inflection, I'd've been on the floor, too.

[Haerandir]

"You just killed your father. Gain two Dark Side points."

We had something similar happen in our SW game back in 1993... Only it was more of a 'You killed your sister, after she surrendered, turned off her lightsaber and called off her troops... Give me your character sheet.'

[ChocolateMousje]

Epic level D&D:
Player A has a Solar with Commune at will
Player B has a half dragon/giant and has taken damage that has turned him
mostly glowing transparent, with the effect increasing when healed.

The party has convinced the Solar to Commune so we can ask if we've completed our mission on this plane. Player B keeps interrupting to ask player A to ask about his transformation. (He's being turned into a Celestial, and previous questions have shown that the gods of Good consider this a good thing.)

DM: Any other questions?
Player B: <interrupting again> Ask if I should complete the transformation.
Player A: Will someone smack him?

DM: Remember, god is talking to you. You can answer whatever you like.
<slightly later>
Player B: Will my wings grow feathers?
Player A: <immediately> YES!
Player B: Hey! You answered too quickly!

[OneWingedAngel]

From my group last night:

"You had the box? What did you do with the box?"

"That's between me and the box!"

[Klytus]

Quotes spoken over a game of Lunch Money.

Sticks and stones may break my gnomes…

You tried to hurt my flowers…

I finally got my Weird on…

[DocMan]

From a previous Champions game, where the robot-brick is beating up on a fur-covered brick.

"Nobody but me can stroke my wookie!"

Doc

[GamePhil]

From tonight's Sorcerer's Galaxy game, in which I'm running the second section of Fantasy HERO Battlegrounds with a number of changes (unfortunately, these will only make sense to people familiar with the book, but it can't be helped):

"Click?"

"Look, I found sixteen diamonds!"

[Koshka]

"I'm unconscious, I don't care what the rest of you do."

(Fortunately, that line was delivered by the husband of the player with the biggest smart-mouth tendency -- anyone else would probably have gotten a few comments .... )

[Beetle]

This one is along the same lines from the GURPS Firefly campaign I'm in. "We get much more done when the captain's unconscious!"

Our captain is a pessimist who agonizes over every decision. He spent the last session in the infirmary recovering from wounds. Meanwhile, the rest of us formulated and executed a plan, accomplishing all our goals for the evening in record time.

[Super Squirrel]

Windwitch has flown above a radioactive experiment to use a Knockback attack to send him down to the ground. Unfortunately, she hasn't acted yet. He sees her and attacks and her missile defection fails. GM rolls knockback dice.

GM: "Wind Witch has been knocked up by the experiment!"

Player: "Talk about a whole new meaning to Rolling Knock Back Resistance!"

[Southern Cross]

Eh,shouldn't that be missile DEFLECTION not missile "defection"?
Talk about a Freudian slip.....

[WhammeWhamme]

Eh,shouldn't that be missile DEFLECTION not missile "defection"?
Talk about a Freudian slip.....

Missile Defection is a GREAT power!

C'mon... wouldn't YOU like to be able to have missiles change sides for you?

[Southern Cross]

Hmm...Sounds like a variant of Missile Reflection....

[Zed-F]

Missile Defection is a GREAT power!

C'mon... wouldn't YOU like to be able to have missiles change sides for you?

It doesn't matter much which philosophy of life or political system the missle espouses, it's still gonna hit where it's gonna hit.

[Supreme Serpent]

Like the good old Ultraviolent Vision.