Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

[MilkmanDan]

Was the old "Viper attacks you at their hidden base on top of an Old West tourist trap" adventure this week.

Afternburn, mocking my character Flatblack, a flat black colored amorphous blob.: "Goo . . . sense . . . tingling!"

Kid Flux, referring to some nasty Old West candy: "Oh, come on, it's a classic of the Old West".
Flatblack: "So was syphilis".

Flatblack, responding to another player's really bad idea: "Please tell me you bought your INT down."

Ghost:"I shoot the sheriff.
Everybody in unison: "What about the deputy?"

After Flatblack, hiding behind the caboose of a train, stretches out to grab a knocked-down Afterburn.

Afterburn: "So you want to do a reach-around near the caboose?"
Kid Flux: "And you hit the hex?"
Flatblack: "Well, guys tend to exaggerate those sorts of things."

GM: "You see an agent setting plastique in the bedoorm."
Flatblack: "Actually, in the bedroom, it's probably silicone."
Afterburn: 'Are these charges inflatable?"

GM, wishing to just wrap up one part of the adventure: "We'll just finish you off."
Flatblack: "Does this involve a reach-around from the caboose?"

GM: "You hear labored breathing."
Flatblack: Snickering, followed by childish giggling.
GM: "Shut up!"

[BlackCobra]

Another quote from our Ancient Greek Heroes.

Super-soldier Critias, complaining to Lydos (my character, energy projector) after he BARELY survived a fight with a really tough bad guy (basically by running away):

Critias: "For future reference, if you and Hector are having that much trouble, you come get reinforcements!"

Lydos: "I was flying to get you, and he hit me WITH Hector!"

[Shadowsoul]

From my Open Fantasy Game at the UK Student Nationals and best appreciated out of context.

"Yes! You have helped save the fabric of the universe by punching him in the groin!"

[Lonewalker]

Think I'll jump in on this thread with some quotes (mostly OOC) from our new Chronicles of the Agency Pulps/Champions game...

During our mission briefing...
Agent Libby (NPC): Your contact in Baghdad will be able to provide you with anything you need.
Havoc: Really? I've had a real serious need for a jacuzzi!

Upon arriving in Baghdad for our mission...
GM: Do any of you speak Arabic or German?
Rocket Ranger (OOC): Um, I don't speak either of those.
Patriot (OOC): I only speak American.
Havoc (OOC): None of us speak any foreign languages?
Clubber (OOC): In the movies, everyone speaks English, don't they?
GM: <heavy sigh>

Patriot (OOC): You guys don't know that Captain Tom Jefferson is the Patriot.
Rocket Ranger (OOC): So what's he doing on this mission?
Patriot (OOC): Uh, he's the civilian mission supervisor.
Rocket Ranger (OOC): Oh, great, so the party's obligated to ditch him first chance we get to do things our way...and Patriot spends the rest of the mission trying to find his teammates!

Patriot (in his 'mild-mannered' secret ID after cleaning up and resting): Wow! I feel like a new man!
Rocket Ranger: We only wish.

Ambassador Whitby (NPC): The Germans have an archaeological dig to the north. We don't know what they're looking for...
Havoc: Probably old stuff buried in the earth.

Ambassador Whitby (NPC): Dr Stephen Dietrich [German mastermind] has come here accompanied by his daughter Wiltrude...
Havoc: Great! We kidnap the daughter and offer an exchange for the kidnapped American curator!
Patriot: Better idea - we have Brett [Rocket Ranger] seduce the daughter to gain her confidence!
Rocket Ranger: <sighs dramatically> The things I have to do for my country.

On location in 1938 Iraq...
Patriot: Where might one find the appropriate authorization to enter the German camp?
NPC: Germany.
Patriot: <pause> That's a bit of drive from here.
Rocket Ranger: Okay, everybody back on the plane! We'll have to hurry back!

GM: So do you all have a plan?
Rocket Ranger (OOC): No, we have more of a notion.

Patriot (as mild mannered Tom Jefferson): So if the Germans come up and pull guns on us, we can whup their tails. <pause> And by "we" I mean you guys. I'll be hiding behind the truck.

Havoc sneaks into a tent in the German camp to find kidnapped prisoners. It's dark and she doesn't want to attract attention by using light so she's looking around for clues about the sleeping occupants...
Havoc (OOC): Can I find any writing materials to see if these guys are English or German.
GM: You find no writing materials at all. No pencils. No pens. No paper.
Clubber (OOC): Ah, they must be the prisoners.
Patriot (OOC): Yeah, the Nazis were afraid the prisoners might write a note in a bottle to call for help.
Havoc (OOC): Right, floating on those desert sand currents.

Still trying to figure out who the sleeping occupants are...
Havoc (OOC): Do any of them snore in a particular language?


Lonewalker

[Enforcer84]

Krull the Orc: "Hot Food Place here?"
Doniir, the Monk: "You barbarians become pampered quickly when taken out of the wild, don't you?"

[ghost-angel]

There were seven of us at Sunday's game. I wasn't allowed to play my normal character (something about a honeymoon...) so I had to play my only other character in the campaign world, a mute. I can only talk OOC.

(About Ninjas)
OOC: They're just little pesants form the mountains. You can kill them with impunity.
Ambrosia: I'd use explosives . . . impunity is a crappy weapon.
--

Shadowvyce (the ninja): How many points would it take . . .?
OOC: Oh, this'll be good. You can't do that on seven points.
--

Ambrosia: The ninja is making more noise than the sonics blaster!
--

Brian: So, do any of them still look dangerous?
GM: No, not at this point.
Brian: Eh. Then I'll just attack whoever's closest.
Shadowvyce: I'm closest to you!
--

Shadowvyce: He was quiet . . . -ish.
OOC: -ISH!? When you add "-ish" it's no longer quiet!
--

Shutterbug (to Shadowvyce): Wait a minute!
*Camera Clicking*
Shutterbug: I've always wanted a picture of "irony."
--

Shutterbug (to police): You've got guns, right?
GM (as police): Yeah!?
Shutterbug: Good, that's important!
--

Shadowvyce: Tell me you cleaned the hair trap?
Silent Vengance: *Smug Grin*
Ambrosia (OOC): That's beneath her.
MonkeyFist: She has people for that.
Ambrosia (pointing to Shadowvyce): You.
Shutterbug: I want a ninja janitor.
--

GM: Once you get underground you don't see any more homeless.
MonkeyFist: Woo-hoo! We solved the homeless problem!
Shutterbug: We won the war on Homelessness!

(that was the first clue things were very bad.)

The big fight was 7 on about 40. We cleaned house quite nicely. Took two hours. It was a really fun session.

[bigdamnhero]

Played a fantastic Pulp game on Saturday, using characters from Decoder Ring Theater's Red Panda Adventures. (Which you really should listen to, if you aren't already!)

Characters:
The Red Panda: Canada's greatest superhero, Shadow knockoff
The Flying Squirrel: his trusty Sidekick, sorta Batgirl-esque but with wings
Tom Tomorrow, Man Of The Future: Gadgeteer from the future
and Baboon McSmoothie, Man of a Thousand Faces: wisecracking shapeshifter.


McSmoothie has just arrived from his parallel universe to warn the Red Panda of a plot to kill him. (They've met before, and the Red Panda can't stand him.)
Red Panda: (through clenched teeth) "Nice to see you again, McSmoothie."
McSmoothie: "You can call me Baboon."
Red Panda: "Not with a straight face, I can't."*

McSmoothie warns us about an evil Nazi scientist named von Slick, who is basically a human oil slick. We start pressing him for details, which were sadly lacking on his character background sheet:
Red Panda: "In our dimension, oil slicks aren't generally considered much of a threat. What exactly can this von Slick do?"
McSmoothie: "Well, he can move about." (looks at GM; GM nods) "And take human form..." (GM shakes his head) "...is something he can't do. But he can form appendages?" (GM nods) "Yes, appendages. And..."
Etc, etc.

Tom Tomorrow manages to cobble together an EMP generator using 1930s technology, but is having trouble finding fuel:
Tom: "What about the Birthday cake? Does it have enough energy?"

Later, he tries to explain his invention to the rest of us 1930s barbarians:
Tom: "It works on the principle of... It works."

Tom Tomorrow and McSmoothie have to infiltrate a physics convention.
Tom: "I didn't specialize in historical clothing. How do scientists of this period dress?"
Red Panda: "Badly." [rimshot]

Tom meets an absent-minded physicist with disheveled hair:
Physicist: "My name is Albert Einstein. And you are?"
Tom: (realizing he forgot to think of an alias) "I am...Tomas...Manana."

The Red Panda and the Flying Squirrel are about to ambush some suspected bad guys. The Squirrel is all ready to punch first and ask questions later:
Red Panda: "We should probably find out who they are before we start hitting them."
Flying Squirrel: (disappointed) "Yes, Boss."

The GM is rolling all his dice out in the open, and his dice are unbelievably hot:
OOC: "If you were using a screen I'd call you a cheating bastard!"

Context can't help this one:
OOC: "Nobody puts Einstein in the corner!"

And the absolute best quote of the day. McSmoothie has been seducing some young lady, but has to pull himself away to help the rest of us fight ninjas:
McSmoothie: "I'll be right back, luv. You go ahead and get started without me, and I'll be right there."
Player's Wife: (OOC) "Welcome to my world."


* Yes, we stole this one verbatim from the show. Still funny tho.

[Major Tom]

Krull the Orc: "Hot Food Place here?"
Doniir, the Monk: "You barbarians become pampered quickly when taken out of the wild, don't you?"

I can just see the following happening:


"Welcome to Troll-In-The-Box. May I take your order, please?"


Major Tom

[Vondy]

The players are covert operatives for the government...

GM: There are some men in suits and sunglasses in a sedan sitting across the street. They appear to be watching you.

Player 1: Are these the same guys we lost earlier?

GM: It loo-

Player 2: I fire a tear gas grenade into the passenger window.

Group: You what?!

GM: Wellllll, alighty then...

Player 1: Holy crap.

Player 2: I roll a 4...

GM: The window shatters and the car fills with tear-gas. The doors fly open and the two men inside come stumbling out. One falls on the grass vomiting. The other is coughing and covering his mouth with a handkerchief. People nearby are pointing and freaking out. Someone yells: call the police!

Player 2: I get out with my shotgun. Its loaded with rubber shells.

Group: Dude, no!

Player 1: Didn't their car have exempt plates?

Player 3: I thought they came back as registered to DOD.

GM: Yes. You're both right.

Group: S---! THEY'RE FEDS!... DUDE STOP!!!

GM: So, what do you do?

Player 2: Click-clack, dude. I'm tired of these guys dogging our ass. I pump and plug the dude.

Player 1: My dex is higher. I taser him before he shoots the fed.

Yes, I love my players. I really do. No, actually, I love that player. Most of them are extremely grounded and tuned in. They have the whole super-fed thing down. Its like a super-powered version of CSI, Law&Order, and James Bond all rolled into one. They are the captains competence. On the other hand, he utters phrases like "I blast the reactor." It keeps things interesting. Click-clack, dude.

[concord]

Quotes from this week's Wardens' Chronicles session...

Delta-Vee talking to Prime about personal responsibility...
Delta-Vee - "Prime can you name five things you do that you ever worry about."
Prime - "I take into account all of the consequences of all the things I do."


During a discussion on dimensions...
Prime - "Do you know for sure that apples aren't carnivorous in all dimensions?"


Delta-Vee chiding Prime after a lab accident...
Delta-Vee - "I figured with his super-evolved intellect that the lab explosion was what he planned."


After Prime had teleported the whole team to another dimension...
Lazarus - "Successful example of teleporting, good power there Prime"

The Knight - "Just take us home"
Amethyst - "Yeah, you got us here"
Delta-Vee - "Just do what you did in reverse... cancel that nevermind, don’t do anything."

Delta-Vee - "Now much experience do you have with dimensional navigation"
Prime - "I've never done it before."
Review the possibilities and problems that would be inherent in randomly hopping from dimension to dimension.
Lazarus - "I would say that he was successful in navigating dimensions"
Delta-Vee - "Except he wasn’t trying to navigate to another dimension."


Once the Knight realizes where they are he tells the team how they got back home on the previous trip... the team agreees that they do not want Prime to try "teleporting" them again...
Prime - "Lets try and find that machine to get us back, I wouldn’t want to abandon you. I've grown quite fond of some of you."


The Knight - "You turned a perfectly good wooden practice sword into stone, why?"
Prime - "Because he asked?"


Prime - "Clearly the best option is to go to the robot, take it apart and see how it works."


Amethyst - "Send me back the way you got us here..."
Prime perks up.
Amethyst - "Nah, just kidding."


Delta-Vee - "Prime that didn’t look like a ball of energy."
Prime - "No it didn’t"
Delta-Vee - "Didn’t you use to, when you wanted to destroy something, shoot it with balls of energy?"
Prime - "I cant do that anymore."
Delta-Vee - "What happened to your balls of energy"
Lazarus - "Isn't that a personal question?"


Prime - "I can try to teleport again"
Chorus of "No"
Prime - "I think I know what I did wrong"


Prime - "Can anyone see in the dark?"
No one answers.
Delta-Vee - "And your glowing balls of energy are also gone" looks at Lazarus "Don’t go there."
Prime to Delta-Vee - "Wait a minute you glow now, problem solved."
Delta-Vee succeeds in boosting his glow to a level where it can be used as a weak source of light in the dark building.
Delta-Vee - "Does anyone have a radiation counter?"
Prime - "Why yes I do... little over background."
Delta-Vee - "Now that is what you call consideration for others."


Prime after the team has returned to their home dimension...
Prime - "I have learned a valuable lesson."
Delta-Vee - "I have a suggestion"
Prime - "No, No, I am sure I have learned the proper lesson."

[CGlied]

From the same adventure MilkmanDan refernced:

You think if the trip was a Viper trap it'd be all expenses paid?

[Karmakaze]

Technaught (describing the bar in his pad): I have a Tony Stark bar.
Richter (OOC): What, empty?

Hammer of Vengeance has just built Flash Defense goggles and wants to test them. He runs out into the lounge.
Hammer: Quick! Someone flash me!
Eris: (rolls eyes) Fine... (pulls down her top for a second, then goes back to playing pinball)
Hammer, who has had a sheltered life, just looks baffled.

[Weldun]

From last night's Star Wars game, I have been having a significant run of critical hits which has been having me say in EVERY SESSION, "I'm not this good!". Another character is a former Padawan who "washed out", mainly because there wasn't a Master to take him on as an apprentince.

Me (OCC): "Show us how it's done, oh Jedi Master."
Fireleaper (OCC): "I'm not a Jedi!"
Me (OCC): "I'm not that good!" chorused with the other players and GM "He's not that good!"

[Balabanto]

Steel Thunder charges the Monster Maker, knocking her back but not stunning her, and knocking her away from Khymeric's girlfriend, who she is threatening to mutate into a colossal monster. "We outsmarted you! Surprised?"

Monster Maker breakfalls up, and moves over to the injector conveniently located on his girlfriend's butt, and turns the timer on it to zero. "We'll see who's outsmarted whom, HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

As the wicked poison does it's work, Dr. Element grabs the box off her butt and flees to his secret dimension base with it.

Red Baroness: Quick! You have to suck it out!

Khymeric, desperate to save his girlfriend, shapechanges into a leechlike, winged reptile humanoid and SUCKS the mutagen out of his girlfriend's behind.

GM (Me): Never underestimate the power of sucking ass to save lives.

At the end of the combat phase, Dr. Element returns from his secret dimensional base, and sees the leechlike thing sucking on her behind, flapping away.

Dr. Element: AAAAAAAAAIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (Screams in horror.)

Girlfriend (Seeing Dr Element, who dresses like a creepy version of Ming the Merciless): AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

THEN she notices what's sucking on her butt, because she's hanging upside down from the ceiling....

AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Then Khymeric's girlfriend fainted.

Red Baroness (OOC): You know, I think I might faint too if I saw that.

[Major Tom]

Just two observations to make here:

1.) Not only does the above story give a new slant to the phrase "butt-ugly",
it also
2.) Sounds like the punch line of a superhero joke.


Major Tom