Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

[Hypnotoad, the]

Okay, we had a big fight in our Fantasy Hero-esque game in space. Lots of skeletons, a big swordfight...and one of the characters (the ogre) was changed into a shadow demon. Of course, none of us fighting the skeletons knew this at the time--we were on the first floor, and he was on the second floor

At the end of it all, the ogre was an ogre again, but he was outside and unconscious and hurting (the circumstances regarding his change back to normal was...painful). We were able to get a healing potion down his massive throat, and he began to regale us with his tale of woe...

"I...I was a demon."

"Oh...well...I'm not one to discriminate based on your lifestyle choice."

[WhammeWhamme]

"Let's try the door that _won't_ eat our souls first!"

(it was actually a gate to the Shadow Plane, but it looked bad...)

[Kirby]

"You're drunk."

"So?"


It's a little bit funnier coming from the same character.

[Fireg0lem]

A character breaks cover to deliver a soliloquy to a group of foreign superheroes that they've inadvertantly been attacked by.

Me (the DM): All three of them turn towards you. Just as Dragon-ciel's hands begin to glow, you realize that you just said that to a group of people who don't speak your language.


Another game, this one low fantasy. A character is searching for a buried treasure, and the directions lead him into an inlet surrounded by a rocky shore.

"I examine the rocks."

"Roll Concealment."

"Made it by 3."

"The rocks are rough, mostly greyish-colored, fairly hard, and heavy. There's a lot of thom. Some of them are as big as you, others are just pebbles."

[Samuraiko]

One of my personal favorites from our "Five Rings" game, which just goes to show how much of a bastard John T (hubby mine) can be as a GM...

The GM (John) and I are in a separate room discussing what is happening inside my character’s head during a hideous dream sequence while the rest of the gaming group is munching on pizza in the next room.

GM: “He holds out one hand to you, and darkness swirls around it. A pointed spike of pure shadow leaps from his hand and shoots straight at you, too fast for you to dodge. You don’t know what this is, but you know that this can’t be good.”

*the GM then gets up to leave the room*

Michelle: “Hey, wait a minute, what the hell kind of message is that? What happens next?”

GM: “Well, you won’t know that ‘til your character wakes up.”

Michelle: “I thought you said I can’t wake up until the rest of the party figures out how to heal me!”

GM: “You’re right, you can’t.”

Michelle: “So what happens now?”

GM: “I’m going to get some pizza.”

John thought it was an outright riot...

Michelle
aka
Samuraiko

[CrosshairCollie]

"I'll release a necromantic demi-god into the world, but I will *NOT* invent disco."
-- D&D 3.5 game, me.

[Enforcer84]

It's a well known fact in our 3.5 game that my fighter is at his finest when he's at 1 hp.
when I went down fighting a dragon my cleric kept pumping minor healings into me to get me to 1pt.

Once there, I stand up and scream: "Eat Hot Death Lizard!" Two Crits on my attacks.
Dragon now on death's door.

Party cheers.

Dragon kills me.
ahhh the defiance against tradition.

DM: "Apparently the dragon's a relative, Magnyr."

[MechaGM]

Recently, I've had the pleasure of actually getting to be a player in a Champions game, so I've gotten to pay a bit more attention to the dialogue going on during the sessions. Last session, we're trying to sneak into this warehouse where One villain is selling this evil mystical book to another villain group. Just as we're about to move in, a third villain, a powerful Liche busts in to get the book for himself. What followed was a mass melee with some of us heroes and the agents from one of the villain groups battling the Liche, and the rest of my team going after the book. The quote in question came up when a bunch of the agents (who were soldier types) moved into position to attack the Liche. One of the players (my brother, actually) quips,

"Okay guys, Attack Pattern: Don't get your souls sucked out!"

On the Liche's next phase, he drifts into the middle of the agents, and promptly kills them all with a soul-sucking spell. They then rise up as zombies and move to attack us heroes.

Well, I gues that's one Attack Patten that needs to go back to the drawing board.

[Southern Cross]

Yes,it's NOT a good idea to have an Attack Pattern that gives an enemy an advantage...

[jackalope]

The Champions have just prevented the massacre of a group of refugees at the hands of soliders, only to discover (with the help of telepathy) that the innocent and guilty are not so easy to distinguish in this war-torn region. Aresenal, Nebula and Champion Girl ponder a proper course of action, struggling to deal with the moral ambiguities. Blink Dog (Psych Lim: Ammoral (Common, Total)) finds himself getting frustrated by all of his teammates handwringing.

Blink Dog: "Hey, I have an idea, why don't we just leave, and let these assholes go back to killing each other?"

...long pause as the other three Champions stop and stare at Blink Dog...

Nebula: "And now we know why Blink Dog isn't the team leader."

[Beetle]

From last night's GURPS "Firefly" game (it needs no context):

"The skeleton is not orgasming!"

[Hypnotoad, the]

This little goodie is from the Monday Champions game I play in. We had just kept both Viper and Demon from stealing the same object of desire from a recent museum exhibit (they fought each other as well as us--really decent of them to do that!).

Anyways, we're a brand new team, and there was no real chain of command yet. So after this mission, serious discussion was set down. The choice seemed to be between three of us--Firebrand (our resident energy projector), Snap Dragon (our martial artist), and Jade (my character and another martial artist).

Jade was chosen as leader (much to her surprise), as for the second in command...

Jade: "I'd like to suggest that you take the position, Firebrand."

Firebrand: "But I think that Snap Dragon would make a good choice, why not her?"

Snap Dragon: "I'm sixteen."

Firebrand: "Right. I'll meet with you tomorrow morning for orientation and planning, captain."

[jackalope]

After an aborted attempt to penetrate the heart of the mysterious black cloud of flies menacing the small African nation of Kinyasa, the Champions brainstorm, trying to think of a way to disrupt it, distract it, or otherwise it prevent it from consuming the small city of Koba.

Blink Dog: "We could kill a bunch of cows and drop them in it's path, maybe it would attack them instead."

Aresenal: "It's a force of evil Blink, not a force of stupid."

---

An Out of Game quote as well:

Sharron (Champion Girl) discussing Nick's character (Blink Dog): "You know, your character is kind of an asshole."

Ken (GM & Nick's housemate): "It's not just his character."

Eric (Aresenal): "Boom tish!"

[Kirby]

"We expect the evil. We don't expect the balloon."


The following was in an L5R game. A PC was standing watch while another was searching for a hidden scroll in a shugenja's room. The PC searching the room heard the approaching shugenja and said he was hiding under the bed. The PC standing watch heard her coming and stepped in the room. Not seeing her companion, she said she was hiding under the bed. Then came the quote:

"I hope they sleep on beds and not mats."

We laughed for a bit with the image of two "noble" samurai hiding under a sleeping mat. (Maybe you had to be there.)

[Samuraiko]

This has to be one of John's (and mine) all-time favorites.

In our L5R game, a plague has struck Phoenix lands (I think the scenario is Midnight's Blood or somesuch), and off go the PCs to fix things. We get there, we find the villain responsible, who is hanging out in the deepest room of the darkest basement, etc. etc. etc. He is hanging in mid-air, a sickly green light swirling around him as the lifeforces of countless Phoenix are flowing into him due to the plague.

Being the good PCs we are, we're not gonna let THIS go on, so we attack. And cut the guy down in two rounds flat. Go us.

Then this ensues...

GM: “As you drive your wakizashi into his body, you hear a thin, wailing scream, a loud ‘crack!’ as he’s sucked back to Jigoku, and a final, brilliant green flash before the light dies.”
Ujiro: “Don’t worry, I’ll just cast Amaterasu’s Bl... Oh, crap, never mind...” *as Bill realizes it’s now too dark to read the scroll*
(wakizashi = short sword)
(Jigoku = the afterlife)
(Amaterasu’s Blessing = a spell invoking the power of the sun goddess to fill an area with daylight)

The whole group degenerated into hysterical laughter. Bill later mastered the spell with the experience he got from that scenario so he would no longer need the scroll.

Cheers,
Michelle
aka
Samuraiko