Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

[Netzilla]

From last week:

Ghost Hunter: "I can't exorcize her *own* soul from her!"

From a few sessions ago:

Solar: "Uhm, I'm afraid you may have all just been exposed to a leathal dose of radiation. Sorry."

[GoldenAge]

If you've ever battled a really good martial artist with a pure brick you'll understand this one...

"Breakfall THAT... b/tch!"

[AndrewD2]

This is from the DnD game I play in ever couple of weeks.

Dan (GM): Chris (our dwarf fighter) you notice that you've started itching and your skin is getting rather dry and just as you get your experience level *pop* you have 4 new arms appear. And new eyes appear on top of your head.

Me: Oh great, his intelligence is low enough that he'll start following his ioun stone (little stone spinning around the top of his head). He'll start spinning in circles and make himself so dizzy that he'll fall flat on his rump.

[Beetle]

In our GURPS Firefly campaign, we had rescued a bunch of young girls who were about to be sold into slavery, and went about trying to find nice planets to drop them off on. Our GM has a long list of names that she uses as a random name generator, and one of the girls ended up named Honda.

Trav (the pilot): "Honda is part chinese and part european, right?"

GM: "Yes"

Trav: "So she's a Honda hybrid?"

[GoldenAge]

From a game I ran called "The Paladin Project" where the heroes were sponsored by the Catholic Church...

"Badges!?! We don't need no stinkin' badges... We're organized religion!!!"

[Netzilla]

If you've ever battled a really good martial artist with a pure brick you'll understand this one...

"Breakfall THAT... b/tch!"

My brick, Neutron, had a similar one to that a couple months ago:

Teleporting martial-artist bad-guy has been dodging Iron Maiden's attacks all combat. Neutron waits until just after martial artist attacks IM, picks up an armored car and drops it on martial-artist's head, CON-stunning him.

Neutron: Dodge THAT, punk!

[Koshka]

I'm running the Martian invasion (10-30-1938) in a golden age game currently. Last night, one of the characters managed to figure out the basics of running a Martian war tripod and took it into action against two other tripods. My GM-PC was acting as copilot/gunner, two other PCs jumped out to face the tripods directly. At one point, my character was going to fire the heat ray at another tripod but rolled an 18. I decided that this wasn't the character with the Analyze Technology skill, so she could easily have hit the wrong button -- and random roll said Falcon set off the poisonous black smoke by mistake. (Fortunately, the heroes outside made their PER rolls to hold their breaths.) One player quipped "I guess that tripod didn't go in for its 6000 light year oil change."

[Rebar]

New player in our group - not an experienced RPGer, in her first battle. There is chaos all about.

New Player: (desperately scanning her sheet, which reads like Greek to her):
"I, um use my Danger Sense! Do I sense danger?"
GM (irritated, booming voice): "YES. THAT WOULD BE THE 2-STORY TALL KILLER ROBOT THAT'S RAMPAGING TOWARDS YOU. I'LL GIVE YOU THAT ONE FOR FREE."
More mayhem.
NP (more desparate scanning): "I, um, use my Sense Alignment! Can I sense its alignment?"
GM (irritated, booming voice): "YES. IT'S EVIL. I'LL GIVE YOU THAT ONE FOR FREE."

[Hugh Neilson]

New player in our group - not an experienced RPGer, in her first battle. There is chaos all about.

New Player: (desperately scanning her sheet, which reads like Greek to her):
"I, um use my Danger Sense! Do I sense danger?"
GM (irritated, booming voice): "YES. THAT WOULD BE THE 2-STORY TALL KILLER ROBOT THAT'S RAMPAGING TOWARDS YOU. I'LL GIVE YOU THAT ONE FOR FREE."
More mayhem.
NP (more desparate scanning): "I, um, use my Sense Alignment! Can I sense its alignment?"
GM (irritated, booming voice): "YES. IT'S EVIL. I'LL GIVE YOU THAT ONE FOR FREE."

NP: Everyone's picking on me. This game is too hard. I quit.

GM: Why is my player base so stagnant?

Hero Games: Why are our sales not going up? Where are all the new players?

Off topic to the thread, but maybe the new player would have a better time, and be up to speed faster, if someone actually helped them, instead of yelling at them and abusing them for making errors. I like to get an experienced player to "buddy" the new player for a few sessions (freeing the GM from this task).

[Koshka]

Sorry, Hugh, the board won't let me rep you right now. I'll try later.

[Tim]

Sorry, Hugh, the board won't let me rep you right now. I'll try later.

Got him for you.

[Susano]

Got him for you.

Ditto.

[gmajor]

Here are a few quotes from a couple of Champions games I've run. Canadian Sheild was the "serious" game, and MegaCity was a "Mystery Men" style low-point comedy series of games.

CANADIAN SHIELD

"I feel silly, I'm a career soldier, I've been to Sereyevo. I've been to Somalia...I've been to New York..."
-Staff Sgt. Berton, on being unsettled by seeing Jean Codere transform into a werewolf.

"I'm going to pull a hissy fit and I need to concentrate."
-Siren

WILDCARD: You don't get a day off of Canadian Shield because you have a runny nose
SIREN: Yes, but today you have two runny noses.
- on Wildcard's latest transformation, with two heads, four arms and four legs.

"I don't talk to men covered in snot."
-Tempo to Wildcard, trapped in a liquid polymer entangle resembling mucous.

BLUEFIRE: Why is Tempo the only one listening to me?
SIREN: She's new; She doesn't know any better.

"There's somebody home, but he keeps hanging up."
-Siren, on having a hard time mind-controlling a villain with strong mental defenses.

"Dodge? Why I have a Dodge right here!"
-Wildcard, throwing another car.

"Arrow should have one of those FRONT TOWARDS ENEMY signs on his head."
-Wildcard, after Arrow's second successful Move Through maneuvre.

"Isn't that just like a man; Just when you want to talk to them, they're out cold" -Siren, on her frustration at being unable to mind-control an unconscious foe.

"It's like having a baby, only you're the baby."
-Jean (Loup Garou) Codere, on how it feels to change into a werewolf.

"Hey, let's not forget our communications protocol people! This is an official business channel! Yellow alert is reserved for second & third base. Red alert is for home!"
-Martin (Wildcard) Gideon, after Arrow signalled a Red Alert, thinking his cousin Jake was in trouble, when he was, in fact, making out with Stephanie Wright.

"I can't believe it. His eyes didn't even drop when he was shaking my hand. I don't think that's ever happened before."
-Siren, on the Prime Minister's uncanny ability to not stare at her breasts.

"It's not good guys and bad guys, it's bad guys and WORSE guys!"
-Siren

MEGACITY MEGAMEN

"Oh, well, being defeated by a superhero team is good press too!"
-Evil Guy

Ta ta! Going on patrol. There may not be crime, but I might get lucky.
-Pink Panther

You're so open minded you've got a door at the back of your head
-Red Rocket

Your contacts squeaked that?
-The Hero With No Name, referring to the Red Rocket's subway mice informants

METRO MAN: She talks to mice.
RED ROCKET: Yeah, well, he thinks Jennifer Love Hewitt actually likes him.
METRO MAN: But I SAVED her!
RED ROCKET: And yet, the Restraining Order.

Look, I'm the pidgeon of justice!
-Metro Man, meaning 'paragon'

THE HERO WITH NO NAME: She's going to save my ass again.
RED ROCKET: That's what I do.

RED ROCKET: You're not the brains of this operation, are you?
THE HERO WITH NO NAME: Who is?

Lets conch this guy on the head
-Red Rocket

Your clue train has pulled out of the station
- Night Watchman

Do you remember the good old days when we fought crime?
-Red Rocket

RED ROCKET: Well, we saved the day again
METRO MAN: No, we were present when the day was saved.

[RobCRogers]

Quote:
<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=6 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=alt2 style="BORDER-RIGHT: 1px inset; BORDER-TOP: 1px inset; BORDER-LEFT: 1px inset; BORDER-BOTTOM: 1px inset">Originally Posted by Tim
Got him for you.
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Ditto.

And ditto again.

[RobCRogers]

Okay, this one hasn't popped up in any of my campaigns, but it came into my mind the other day and I can't think of anywhere else to use it.

FIGHTER: You're talking to a myconid?

ROGUE: Hey, he's actually a fungi.

[You might want to say it out loud...]