Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

[Remjin]

We should almost try to get an actual event registered for Hero board members to just show up and have a free-for-all or something. I signed up for various Hero games. Lessee...

Tonight's Episode: Gateway to Murder
Heroes of Order 5 - Forbidden Lore (cancelled)
Pulp Hero for Today

I don't think any of you were there, as far as I know. First one was a cop drama, last one was an oddball that I have a hard time classifying, though its called Pulp it was more modern day with some pulpy characters.

And last year I played in a few as well, including one of Karmakaze's and one of Rod Currie's, so I at least got to meet them. (both of them very nice, btw)

Ummmm.... yeah, and to be on topic, here are some quotes from a GenCon Shadowrun game:

"Is anyone here NOT an Ork or Troll? <one hand comes up> What are you? <elf> Well see? We have at least one panzy on the team, we're good."

P1: "Who has negotiations?"
P2: "Oh, Oh, I do!"
P3: "Great, you can try to talk to this guy."
P2: "Oh, wait, that's Navigation... not Negotiations."
*facepalm*

P1: "So I'm basically this character here on your GM shield?"
GM: "You can be a man if you want."
P1: "I dunno, not sure how I'd look in that dress."

P1: "I'm an Irish Ork."
P2: "So you riverdance?"
P1: "Yes, we're all Lord of the Dance. I need a drink."

The party encounters a security unit, ready to go in assault gear... everyone's guns come out. A few words, and everyone starts to put their guns down.
P2: "Ah, good, we don't all have to be stupid."
P1: "I dunno, I AM that stupid."

[NestorDRod]

This one comes from a demo of the new Desolation game, a post-apocalyptic fantasy RPG, that I played at GenCon. It takes a bit to set the quote up, but judge for yourself if the punch line's worth it...

We're a rag-tag group of survivors banded together to better our chances. We arrive at a walled town, only to be charged with retrieving the town's lost herd of cattle as the price to get in. The herd is led by one lone bull, so all we need to do is lead the bull back.

We set off and find that a local band of goblins have adopted the herd because "The Magnificent One" brought them and is now communing with their shaman. Assuming correctly that "The Magnificent One" is the bull we're searching for, we ask to meet the shaman.

The shaman makes an entrance on the back of the bull... which is the size of an elephant!

We goggle at the sight and the annoying elf exclaims, "That's the bull? How the heck does he stand stud?"

The farmer in the group says in a deadpan voice, "Artificial insemination. You want the job?"

[Enforcer84]

"Thank you...Diana"
a really creepy over the hill Mavin (who had the stuffed body of Wonderdog on his desk, to Freyja who was being "Nice to Him" (he was basically deluding himself into believing she was Wonder Woman. It was actually both funny and sad.

[QueenOfItAll]

This is not from the last week, nor the last month, but it is so characteristic of Lana Wanna it has gained fame among those who know her.

Introductory information: Lana Wanna was wearing a vest, with nothing under it, with a very deep and wide neckline. It was made of leather that would usually be used in making the finest of gloves, yet it provided spectacular lift to her very sizable bosom. She noted the large number of people ogling her at the bar she and a friend were at, and turned to said friend.

"Some guys like 'em full, other guys want 'em firm, and a few guys care most if they're round and well formed."
A long pause followed by an extreme shrug that caused "jiggling."
"But I don't care for apples all that much."

The laughter stopped the game for 10 minutes, the OOC chatter that followed stopped it another 30.

Melon is the Elvish word for "friend." So melons must be "friends."

Sigh.

Let's keep it real.

[input.jack]

Let's keep it real.

They look real to me...

[Major Tom]

This is not from the last week, nor the last month, but it is so characteristic of Lana Wanna it has gained fame among those who know her.

Introductory information: Lana Wanna was wearing a vest, with nothing under it, with a very deep and wide neckline. It was made of leather that would usually be used in making the finest of gloves, yet it provided spectacular lift to her very sizable bosom. She noted the large number of people ogling her at the bar she and a friend were at, and turned to said friend.

"Some guys like 'em full, other guys want 'em firm, and a few guys care most if they're round and well formed."
A long pause followed by an extreme shrug that caused "jiggling."
"But I don't care for apples all that much."

The laughter stopped the game for 10 minutes, the OOC chatter that followed stopped it another 30.

Hmmm...sounds like Lana Wanna would be a good customer for a Rawhide
Brasierre.



Major Tom

[Remjin]

Just a random quote from a rather silly conversation...

GM: "What the hell is MAN-TANG?"

And no, it probably isn't what you think...

[steamteck]

Not exactly a quote

Last adventure in our fantasy world of our multiverse campaign. A villainous mutant werewolf sorcerer raised an ancient evil which threatened Kyna Caligari's village which she is the baroness of with massive demonic possession just so he could help her out and get her in his debt. She saw through his plot and stopped the horror without him
He had a system of sequential activating lights for her to follow to meet him. So fast only a teleporter like her could follow. She KNEW it was a trap but she had to go just so she could slap him and say " you base cad !how dare you endanger my village ofr your perfidious schemes "
She got captured ( but did later escape because of a hold out power he didn't know she had.)

[Balabanto]

Today, in the Teen Champions Game Vigilance, the characters were covering up their secret identities after leaving homeroom.

Selene: Mervin, you need to fix my mother's TV set.

Mervin: Yeah, I'll come over and fix it later, along with a couple of other appliances.

Sarah: Ohh, Childhood sweethearts! It's so cute!

By lunch period, everyone in school thinks that Mervin and Selene had sex so hard they broke her mother's TV set.

At lunch, a conversation with Marsha, the head of the Cheerleading Squad, Selene's effective social nemesis, turns even more sour. Next to Marsha is Tiffany, who Sarah stays with because her parents live in New York.

Rick: Hey, did you hear about Mervin and Selene?

Marsha: Yeah. I heard they broke a TV Set. That was pretty amazing.

Mervin: Oh, god. Tiffany, I need a hug.

Tiffany giggles and hugs Mervin. Tiffany's just that nice. She hugs everyone.

Mervin: Listen, Marsha, if you just leave it alone, I'll come to your house and give your box every single channel.

Rick: Mervin, she's rich! She doesn't need it!

Marsha: Wow, you just can't keep it in your pants, can you? Don't worry. Selene saved my life. I won't cheat on her with her new boyfriend.

Mervin: I didn't mean it that way.

Marsha: Listen, I'm pretty sure you did. Get lost! I don't need every single one of your channels after you've been through Selene! And I don't need to break a TV set, either!

[Weldun]

From tonight's L5R Game. Some Imperial Magistrates were being somewhat uncooperative in answering some of our questions, so in frustration I decided to insult him.

Lion: Were you born this obtuse, or did this take some form of special Scorpion training. No, it was you mother dropping you on your head after having glanced at your face without first bracing herself.
Scorpion: *spluttter* Take your stance. *Enters his Iaijutsu stance*
Crane: Well, if you would just answer our questions.
Scorpion: He insults me, my clan and my mother!
Lion: Now, I'm sure that your mother was a wonderfull woman. *Enters his stance* A shame your father never knew her that well.
Crab: For a moment there, I thought that you had rolled over on me Oyajiisama, but then you make me proud.

For the record, I won. One stroke, him unconscious, I even took three raises simply to mark his cheek. And people try to tell me that Lion Bushi don't make good duelists.

[teh bunneh]

From the Nextwave: Agents of HATE game I played in at Gencon (some of these might be repeats from Susano's quotes... sorry).

The Captain: Mmmmm... Fissionable Popcorn!


The Captain: I'm gonna throw a car at him!
Elsa: You did check to make sure there wasn't anyone in that car first, didn't you?
The Captain: <long pause> <long pause continues> ...yes...?


Chuck Norris: Who's your leader?
<everyone points at Monica/Photon>
Monica: I turn invisible!
GM: Too bad for you. Chuck can see the invisible.


Monica: Plan B! Plan B!
The Captain: We're already on Plan B!
Monica: Then go to Plan C!
Aaron: Is that the one where we set everything on fire?


The Captain: Which Plan are we on now?
Aaron: Plan F: No Witnesses.


The Captain: I'm going to grab the nearest weapon and throw it. That's either this car or Elsa. Eenie meenie minie... Elsa! <grabs Elsa and throws her>


<After Elsa has just shot a soccer mom>
The Captain: Aren't you going to do anything???
Monica: We're still following the plan, so I'm good.


Monica: I'm going online to look up "Avengers Battle Plans."
GM: Mostly, you find a lot of Avenger pr0n.
The Captain: Bookmark that site for me, will you?


The Captain: Don't worry, kids! I'm here to rescue you. I'm a super <BELCH!> hero. Sorry.


<After a possessed child has just kicked the Captain in the jimmie>
Elsa: Children! Your only weakness!


<After a hostage situation has gone bad>
Firebird: Elsa! We can still work this out! You have every reason to live! Your father still loves you!

[New Hero]

Wow!

I just finished reading this thread, and that's all I can say is Wow! Thank you for a wonderful read, but I have one question:

'Please, sir? May I have some more, please?'

* lives in Mortal Fear of teh bunneh and wonders if teh bunneh will accept cookies instead of money*

[Remjin]

Wow!

I just finished reading this thread, and that's all I can say is Wow! Thank you for a wonderful read, but I have one question:

'Please, sir? May I have some more, please?'

* lives in Mortal Fear of teh bunneh and wonders if teh bunneh will accept cookies instead of money*

Wow, that's quite the read... repped for that and as a welcome. =)

[Ian Mackinder]

Not a quote as such. More like a rather ... disturbing concept, making for an especially disturbing mental picture.

BESM campaign, SF setting. Our group had to travel into a wilderness area controlled by a less-than-friendly local government. Basically, we opted for a two-layered cover story - officially, we were "birdwatchers", searching for a particularly rare and endangered species of waterfowl. A more thorough investigation would reveal that we were, in fact, cryptozoologists searching for the local equivalent of 'Bigfoot'. The idea being that the authorities, once they discovered this last, would automatically pigeon-hole us as lunatic fringe amd thus leave us alone.

There was speculation as to the equipment that would-be Bigfoot-hunters might have. For some reason, mainly the sheer freakiness factor (and effect on the Ref, usually the one to come up with these ideas when HE is a PC), we pushed the idea that a life--sized, anatomically correct, inflatable Bigfoot doll was exactly what we needed for our cover.

Yes, you read that correctly. Take a moment to think about it if you like.

The Referee ruled, rather hurriedly, that we had neither time nor budget for anything like this to be made. But the expression on his face when he first heard the idea was priceless. You just cannot buy moments like those.

[BlackCobra]

A quote from the Heracles' Children: First Age, ancient greek "superhero" campaign.

The whole group is engaged in a round-robin of torqued-off-ishness at each other. And we're trapped in a caved-in mine (it's a death trap). We're arguing, close to fighting, and one character is trying to get over the arguing part:

Critias: "How many times would you have to stab me for this to be over?"

Someone immediately chimes in: "How many stabs does it take to get to the center of Critias?"