Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

[Magmarock]

Now THAT is a damned good question!!! LOL

I thought so. We were bustin' up all over that one for a good five minutes. I'm glad I remembered to write it down.

Mags

[Super Squirrel]

The Greek informed me, pre-game that her character had discovered "porn" and so I should announce something about spyware on the computer. The Greek, if you aren't aware had been sleeping since the Trojan war.

Me: "And finally, it was recently discovered that the base computer had 19 spyware applications running and over 1000 cookies. They were all porn related."

Voltage: "It wasn't me!"

MJ: "What? I would think we had the top of the line spyware program on our computer."

Me: "You do, however, in all instances, these were the ones that were not in the program's definitions."

MJ: "I'll update the program and get them all removed. The last thing we need is a Trojan on our computer ruining the entire system."

[Susano]

The Greek informed me, pre-game that her character had discovered "porn" and so I should announce something about spyware on the computer. The Greek, if you aren't aware had been sleeping since the Trojan war.

Me: "And finally, it was recently discovered that the base computer had 19 spyware applications running and over 1000 cookies. They were all porn related."

Pshaw... amateur. At the hospital where I work now, I do spyware searches on different systems from time to time. My record is 1,500 applications on a single system (via Ad Aware) and something like 5,100+ applications and related files via Spy Sweeper.

[Christougher]

The Greek informed me, pre-game that her character had discovered "porn" and so I should announce something about spyware on the computer. The Greek, if you aren't aware had been sleeping since the Trojan war.

MJ: "I'll update the program and get them all removed. The last thing we need is a Trojan on our computer ruining the entire system."

We have a new winner of the "Don't make me hurt you." award.

[Kirby]

Me: "And finally, it was recently discovered that the base computer had 19 spyware applications running and over 1000 cookies. They were all porn related."

...

MJ: "I'll update the program and get them all removed. The last thing we need is a Trojan on our computer ruining the entire system."

I'm surprised no one asked what kind of porn sites. Then you as GM could state "I don't know, it's all Greek to me!"

[Kirby]

This one came up during socialization during a game. My wife and I had driven to see my parents for Thanksgiving. It grew dark around 5:30 because it turned out we were heading (literally) towards a tornado. When talking to my parents later during a game, I was mentioning how eerie it was because of the lack of street lights (the country) and that no starts were seen because of a pitch black sky.

My mom (age 62): "Well, you came at the dark time of day."

My wife: "That would be nighttime."

Okay, it was a Yahtzee game instead of a RPG, but still, it qualifies.

[Steve]

This didn't happen in one of my games, but I heard about it from one of the participants in the exchange.


The group is trying to come up with a plan to deal with a problem.

Player #1: I have a plan. Here's what we should do.

Player #1 lays out his idea and Player #2 keeps shooting it down. Eventually, the two start talking at their end of the table, leaving the rest of the party to do other things in the meantime. Then the group suddenly hears...

Player #2: I have a plan. Here's what we should do.

Player #2 then lays out the exact same plan that Player #1 had.

Player #1 wanted to kill him at that point.

[Filkerman]

Possibly offensive, apologies beforehand...


In a high powered fantasy game, we had "one of those players". Playing a mage of a shape-changing race, he constantly did things in secret so the party wouldn't find out what race and alignment he was. To boot he had terrible dice luck, constantly fumbling attacks and spells at key moments.

During an adventure on another plane where 'time stood still', this mage gave himself a small wound to try to deduce the time flow differential since he had an abnormal healing rate. He did not explain the reasons to us in character, saying merely "I prick my finger".

Upon our return to our home plane, he collapsed from blood loss. Thereafter "I prick my finger" became the way to say you thought a plan or action was...ill-considered.

Years go by real time and game time, with the poor mage getting told "I prick my finger" by everyone constantly. Finally he retaliates...or so he thinks.

Other Player : (announces plan)
Sneaky Mage: "I prick my finger"
Other Player (without missing a beat): "You roll a 1, and finger your prick."

You can imagine the laughter. There was more than one spit-take.

[Hugh Neilson]

Two very old ones"

One from Champs, the Emerald Archer and his Honourable disadvantage vs. Ratman:

RM: "Tell you what - you don't use your bow, and I won't use my tail"

EA: "OK" Drops bow

Two phases later, Ratman slashes EA with his tail.

EA "Hey! You said you wouldn't use your tail!"

RM: "I'm the bad guy. We get to lie."

One from D&D. The group has found five evenly spaced indentations on the wall. Unknown to them, they are intended to arm or disarm pit traps elsewhere. There is a crown with five solid marble-soze spheres used for this purpose, but they haven't found it.

The warrior priest suggests shoving her fingers into the indentations. The remaining players think that's a bad idea.

WP: "Wait, I can cast Find Traps. Cast - is it a trap?".

DM: "No, you don't sense a trap."

WP: "I shove my fingers in the indentations."

DM: "There is a hideous crunch and the WP shrieks in agony."

[Her fingertips are crushed by the loicking mechanism.]

DM: [quoting from spell description; my quote will be off a bit] "A trap is a device which was created with the intention of inflicting harm."

[Rebar]

"... your specific game may not have had a frustrated new player, but commonly that is the result..."

Yes, of course, but as you pointed out, it is OT. This thread is about great lines, not analyzing interaction.

[Samuraiko]

From this weekend's 7th Sea game:

Gustaphe, our Montaigne pistoleer, on how to deal with a Vodacce who's tried to kill an NPC: "I say we just poison him, and make it look like it was suicide."
Inigo the Castillian swordsman #1: "Gustaphe, you shouldn't suggest that Gabrielle (our Vodacce courtesan who dabbles in the art of poisoning) act in so crass and callous a fashion."
Diego the Castillian swordsman #2: "Yeah, since all we have to do is just force the Vodacce to drink some Montaigne wine."

Jim (Gustaphe's player) was ready to start throwing stuff at John (Inigo) and Jeff (Diego) while the rest of us burst out laughing.

Michelle
aka
Samuraiko

Visit my thread...
http://www.herogames.com/forums/show...248#post526248

[Kirby]

Yes, of course, but as you pointed out, it is OT. This thread is about great lines, not analyzing interaction.

Yes, and we never have threads derailed, or branch off.

[Susano]

Yes, and we never have threads derailed, or branch off.

Oh, never! We are above that sort of things you know.

[Hugh Neilson]

Oh, never! We are above that sort of things you know.

Well, this is the Champions forum, and there seem to be a lot of non-Champions games quoted...

[SirViss]

From last night's Champions Game:

Bolt (Speedster): "I'll Grab her (opposing super), bring her back, and we'll have a hostage!"

Stormbringer (Storm-clone): "We're the good guys, we don't take hostages. Get her, and I'll blast her!"