Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

[Shadow Hawk]

DnD 4th edition continues.

Baron Shadowdeath, Eladrin Wizard
Rangrin, Human Artificer
Ciaphas, Human Fighter and rider of The Horse.
Jett, Gensai Swordmage
Atolucus, Human Rogue
Aleric, Human Paladin of Torm*
Silver Slayer, Elven Ranger/Cleric of Pelor
Torm, Dragonborn Cleric of Kord

*Yes, it does cause confusion. Think of a party with a Roman Catholic Priest and a Hispanic Pagan.

Ciaphas: I think for our next mission, we should blow up the Moon.
Atolucus: Why?
Ciaphas: It would kill all the vampires.
Party:

The noble might be evil...
Aleric: We should just kill the noble and replace him.
Torm (to Atolucus): I didn't even see your lips move.
Atolucus: That wasn't me!

Atolucus: What's higher than a level 9?
Silver: A level 10. Basic math.

Torm, about Rangrin's new invention...
"Backpack of Parachute?"

Atolucus: Who has a last name?
Torm: Just Silver.

Atolucus: Why do I feel like I'm in prison?
Torm: You're the rogue. You should be.

Ciaphas: I missed. But my horse attacks!
Torm: He's doomed.
Ciaphas: My horse criticals!
Aleric: Why do we bring Ciaphas?

Aleric: What's with the amulet?
GM: Just wearing it is a evil act.
Atolucus: Aleric, close your eyes for a second.
Aleric: Last time I did that, you stole my purse.

Jett: It's a level 22 goldfish. It's epic.

Atolucus: If I weren't here, I'd be in prison.

Aleric: We need to kill them all.
Torm: In the name of God.
Aleric: Of course.

Atolucus: Can I pick pocket the spirit?

Atolucus: I flank him.
Aleric: I flunked flank.
Torm: You can flank constructs in 4th?
GM: You can not only flank constructs, you can knock a gelatenous cube prone.
Aleric: I flank Ciaphas.
Jett: Don't hurt the horse.

GM: He's supernatural.
Torm: You can tell by the big "S" on his chest.

Atolucus: This paladin will be the death of me.
Torm: You just figured this out now?

Aleric: I'm Lawful Good, not Lawful Stupid.

Jett: Are you going to attack the civilians?
Baron: It's only casualties.
Torm: Colatteral Damage.
Aleric: The judge will love that excuse.
Torm: Remember, if we kill everyone, there will be no witnesses against us.

Ciaphas: We have a paladin with us, which is unfortunate.

Ciaphas (reporting on the approaching city guard): Here comes "The Brass 5-0".

Aleric: I hope I have enough money to make bail.

GM as city guardsman disarming the rogue: How many knives does he have?

Sentenced to community service...
Torm: Hammer of House Repairs?
Aleric: +5 vs. Nails.

We find out the bad guys have put out a bounty on us...

Baron Shadowdeath 200,000gp
Ciaphas 300,000gp
Jett no price listed
Atolucus 350,000gp
Aleric 200,000gp
Silver 250,000gp
Torm 400,000gp
Rangrin Lunch

[Tim]

Oh, you can't help that, we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.

It's a mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad world!

[Tim]

That's nothing, you should see the map for Kazei 5.

Well? We are waiting to see the map for Kazei 5.

edit: oops forgot it was in the supplement

[Susano]

This is mostly correct, except that Nevada is split evenly between Alta California and Deseret, and the CSA is now the USA.

[Balabanto]

Millennium Guard:

Hyperdrive hires a therapist for Gibraltar, because Gibraltar has no genitals and wants to understand how humans reproduce.

Meanwhile, Gibraltar is building his underground sanctum below the hero base. He has done this by learning how to tunnel with another person by placing them inside his elemental chest.

So the sex therapist, Kyle Johansen, arrives, and asks if Gibraltar is in.

Gibraltar: Yes! I'm right here.

Kyle: Do you have a private place where we could discuss this?

Gibraltar: Sure! (opens his chest) Come inside me.

Kyle: Cough!

Gibraltar: We're going down!

Kyle: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Gibraltar: Welcome to my private room! Now we're alone!

Kyle: Ummmm...

So after the birds and the bees conversation, and Kyle is rudely deposited back on the ground floor of Millennium Guard headquarters...

Kyle: Hyperdrive, could I use your phone?

Hyperdrive: Sure!

Kyle: Hello, Mr. Robinson. Yes, it's me. I need to come in for some therapy. No...not tomorrow. Now. Right now! Yes...I'll be right there...

[Netzilla]

I am not opposed to being bait for ghouls. I am opposed to being bait for ghouls while bound and unarmed.

[Ian Mackinder]

Ciaphas: I think for our next mission, we should blow up the Moon.
Atolucus: Why?
Ciaphas: It would kill all the vampires.
Party:

I'm guessing the party got THAT idea from KODT. They are playing a Dark Conspiracy style campaign, in which Werewolves are one major threat. The guys decide that the best way to deal with the Werewolves is to depower them by blowing up the Moon, and naturally manage to do so.

[matrix3]

DnD 4th edition continues.
<snip />
Jett: It's a level 22 goldfish. It's epic.
<snip />

How did this come about? Did you guys encounter a guppy the size of a house or something?

[Shadow Hawk]

How did this come about? Did you guys encounter a guppy the size of a house or something?

As a bit of throwaway description, the GM described the decor of the bar, including a fishtank. Which lead to the discussion of "Why keep a goldfish?" leading to the comment. I'm sorry, I didn't write down the build up to the punchline, just the punchline.

[Karma]

But you must be mad, else you wouldn't be here.

Thank you Reverand Dodgeson.

BTW, just read the original books (Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass). *Much* better than any movie version (not least because they include so much of Lewis Carroll's poetry)

[input.jack]

From the Embria Pathfinder game.

-----------------

Rhiannon (Semi-OOC): Whats the difference between a Ranger and a Barbarian, again?

Metrion (OOC): The Barbarian kills more people. The Ranger kills more animals.

-------------

GM: Varga's "childhood friend" Tharber, a Barbarian nearly seven feet tall, clasps Metrion's hand firmly. You think you've taken a point of subdual damage.

Metrion: *sotto voce* ....Jocks

-------------

Tharber: Let me tell you about the Citadel of an Evil Cleric that we destroyed! He wasnt -in- it....

Metrion: So...you are a band of travelling stonemasons, then.

Tharber:

-------------

Metrion: *Eyeing Tharber's greataxe* You know what they say about people with enormous weapons...theyre "compensating" for something.

Siyan the Elf: Hes not compensating.

Metrion: I was talking about brains, my dear.

Siyan: Well, there youve got him.

------------

GM: You see a stand of trees.

Rhiannon (OOC): Cheese it! Its the copse!

-------------

Chyra (OOC): Whats the Knowledge Skill for that?

Metrion (OOC): Knowledge of My Butt

Rhiannon (OOC): Would that be "Dungeoneering"? "Structural"?!?

Metrion (OOC): Arcana!

------------

Rhiannon: *Chops a Ghoul in half* I thought Tharber said that they had killed everything in this stupid keep! The place is crawling with undead!

Varga: *Chops two Ghouls in half cause shes the Barbarian* The only thing Tharber ever finishes is his beer :P

Metrion: I feel sorry for his women.

--------------

Rhiannon (OOC): If we're nice, maybe theyll guard our keep someday

Metrion (OOC): I dont see why we have to be nice. Ill have Dominate Person by then.

Chyra (OOC): Youre NOT supposed to do that.

Metrion (OOC): Oh. Im sorry.

Chyra (OOC): IM supposed to do that!

------------------

Rhiannon (OOC): Do the bodies look like they were adventurers? Like they were townsfolk?

Chyra (OOC): I assumed that they look like guards. Unless they dont.

Metrion (OOC): That was very nearly "zen".....

-----------

GM: The Zombie stand up. it only gets a Partial Action, and standing takes its move.

Metrion (OOC): Thats why "Trip" is fabulous versus Zombies.

Rhiannon (OOC): Especially if you do it while playing "Yakkitty Sax"!

----------------
(PS: I have artwork of the characters. Should I post it here?)

[Tim]

sure go ahead.

[Egyptoid]

Cast:
Snake the Wizard
Samuel the Barbarian Ranger
Brame the Gondorian Knight
William the Mannish Rogue
===================================

the party is trudging through the Harad Desert,
near the foothills of Mordor:


William saw the "Coyotes of Unusual Size"

======================

Barbarian complained: Havent seen a tankard in 12 days William

=========================

Leader: Come along men.
The Men: Men, men, men manly men . . .

==================================

Brame the Knight: As a Gondorian, I just seem to ooze charisma,

nobility, friendliness and honor.

Samuel the Barbarian: So did Saruman, you know.

======================================

We meet and parley with a multi-headed Draconic Guardian of Ephel Duath
and we lived to tell about it. My barbarian is from the dragon tribes up
north, and assumes his comrades back home will never believe this story.
So he asks the Dracon to "autograph" a hide for him by punching his claw
print onto it.

============================

Ranger gets Critical hit on the troll guard with an arrow, into the back of the head, and yells at the troll:
"Perhaps your new tribe nickname will be unicorn"

[teh bunneh]

(PS: I have artwork of the characters. Should I post it here?)

I dunno. How big are their bewbz?











j/k!

[input.jack]

I dunno. How big are their bewbz?

Metrion's are quite reasonable :P