Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

[Rick R Mortis]

The fantasy party's co-leader to the rookie mage on his first adventure...

"That's very impressive, Chryss. Dropping a giant in one shot is very, very good. But next time, lets actually see if thy're hostile beofre we open fire."

And that's when the Giant's big dragon buddy shows up and asks to know what's going on.

[Arandmoor_Keet]

Sigh...not hero (sob) but funny none the less.

We're playing in an Eberon game. I'm behind the reigns of a bossy human Artificer of house Cannith (Adam), and my friend is playing my Warforged Bodyguard (Hammer). Story behind the two is that I built him before the end of the war and we then served untill it ended.

Quotes:
Hammer: "...then you can bind an air elemental to me, and I could fly!"
Adam: "No! No flight!"
Hammer: "Why not?"
Adam: "Because first you'll want wings! Then you'll want BLADES ON THEM!"

------------------

Adam: "Uh oh. Iron Defenders."
Hammer: "Ooh...DOGGIES! I WANT A DOGGIE!"
Adam: "No Hammer. No dogs. Umm...hows this. You go first and destroy them, and I'll stay here."
Hammer: "No. I want a doggie!"
Adam: "What? No dogs Hammer. Now destroy them so we can search the room and get out of here."
Hammer: "No. I want one of THOSE doggies!"
Adam: "Hammer. Axe. Doggies. Now. I'll make you one later."

------------------

Sinister Man: "I have heard tales of your group's exploits and know of your reputation to be both effective and discreet."
Hammer: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...(continu es for a while)"
Adam: "Do you want me to help you find these 'discreet' guys you keep going on about because there's no way in HELL you can be talking about us."
Hammer: "(still laughing)"
Adam: "Maybe you're talking about my cousin? Alvin duCannith? He's kind of discreet...well...compared to us at least..."
Sinister Man: "No, I'm positive it's you."
Hammer: "(still laughing)"

-----------------------

Little explaniation about this one. We were on an airship looking for a vampire that was on-board and were in our cabin discussing tactics.

Adam: "Okay, when we find him, what do we do with the captin demanding we stay in our cabbin like that?"
Hammer: "I want to ride the vampire all the way to the ground! It would make one hell of a crater, AND he'd be turned into goo!"
Adam: "Umm...Hammer, I didn't build you to survive that kind of a fall..."
Hamer: "Yeah, but THINK of the crater we'd make!"

Ugh...the thing's I put up with...

[csyphrett]

From my HU game:

GM: Alex, you're floating in orbit above the earth, Gecko has been knocked into the atmosphere, Miklos has left the system to pick up his other pound of gold.

Vash, you're just dead.

CES

[Egyptoid]

In our Champions game Blue Bat has had nothing but bad luck with his Bata-Rangs. Every time he's used them he's either missed, fumbled an 18, or just totally bounced them off nothing.

The GM usually described the missed shot (the Bata-Rangs are supposed to return to him) as being stuck point-first into a nearby wall.

One teammate tried to be helpful:
Blue-Bat rolls an 18 again.
Batarang goes zang into wall over villains head.
My character points at it, attempts a PRE attack with it by exclaiming "My gosh, I cant believe he's using a Bat-Bomb! Run!!"
GM says no way, its not ticking. PRE attack fails.

Other teammate just makes fun of Blue-Bat:
Bata-Rangs? I thought they were climbing tools.
(cause they stick in walls like little shelves)

[teh bunneh]

From my regular Champions game:

Straight Arrow: I have no prejudices against anyone.
Tank: Even the Dutch?
Straight Arrow: Not at all. I find their tiny wooden shoes quite charming.

Bill.

[Kirby]

Sunday's D&D: The party (human, dwarf & 2 elves) walk into a inn [yeah, there's got to be a joke here somewhere] to start off their investigation of why the town's populace is declining and the attitudes are no longer friendly. A round of drinks are ordered for the group at their table. The dwarf walks up to the bartender at the bar.

Dwarf: I'm going to buy the beer a drink.

Bartender: Would you like one for yourself as well?

The food for the players is drugged and it affects one elf and the other elf's wolf. The second elf can tell something is wrong, but isn't affected; she plays along as being drugged. When it's just the dwarf and the human, the people in the bar try to subdue them, but fail. A big fight takes place, one subduer dies, three get away and three are beaten. The human is fine, but the dwarf is down to 3 hp.

After interrogating the survivors, the party decides to go to the temple to investigage further, but needs to leave one person behind to watch the prisoners.

Dwarf: (Paraphrasing) I don't want to go, I'm down to 3hp, I'll die.

GM (me): I'm going to tell you this just one time. You are the priest. You have healing skills and healing spells.

Elf: Weren't you just bragging about you being the only priest in the group half an hour ago?

Dwarf: Oh yeah.

GM: Now... (goes on to "remind" him how to use his healing skill & his healing spells.).


Later, most of the party (sans dwarf) is at the temple trying to see if they can get some answers there. One of the elves gets bored and starts doing handstands.

Priestess: Please don't do those in here.

Elf: Very well. (Goes outside to the lawn. Sees a caretaker and starts doing handstands.) I like doing acrobats.

Other player: Whore.

[Karmakaze]

This is an old one, actually, but I'm new to the boards...

We were fighting a supervillain who turned out to have been my characters Economics professor before he mutated. In the middle of combat, I hit him with "OH, yeah? Well, if you're so good at economics, how come you don't know Crime Doesn't PAY!!?"

[Enforcer84]

Running joke. We started a dungeon crawl recently. My character, an elf mage told the other party members that he was going to make his name on this dungeon. That he would make it his own.

So they wrote up a "Deed" for him.

We find a secret door, follow a rough hewen, narrow passage to a room with a wooden throne and an advanced Ghast. He cackles and tells us how glad he is to finally have "visitors" after so long.

Althian (My mage): Okay this room will not do for a throne room. *Turns to dwarven mage* Get your people on widening that hallway at the very least.

[Koshka]

In last night's D&D game, we were trying to solve a murder mystery. Not that we have any real ability at this, but since one PC's boyfriend was framed for the murder we've got a certain amount of incentive.

The party's ranger just took a level of some prestige class that's giving her a wolf's sense of smell, so she was sniffing around the murder scene to see how many people were there. She made her roll well enough to get a rundown from the GM, then the player asked about checking the scents of everyone else in the house. The GM pointed out that not only would the ranger have to get very close to those people to check their scents, but that the best places to check for scents would be armpits and crotch/rears. The ranger's player then asked the druid if she would change shape into a wolf and check the scents herself. The druid's player immediately stated "I don't want to sniff your butts, and you're my friends."

[Kirby]

I can't believe I forgot this one (same Sunday gaming group as above)!

When the PCs enter the inn, everyone is subdued and no one present is talking. The PCs sit at the open table. (This inn has been subverted by the bad guys.) A person comes out saying he's the bartender and asks the PCs what they're in town for, along with getting drinks.

Elf (who has the wolf): We're looking for an unnamed evil that's taking over your town.

(This led to the party being drugged and attacked as mentioned above.)

[CrosshairCollie]

Elf (who has the wolf): We're looking for an unnamed evil that's taking over your town.

Thank you, Captain Subtlety!

[Kirby]

Thank you, Captain Subtlety!

Yeah. She's actually the 2nd best role-player of the group. The other two (dwarf and elf who loved doing acrobats) are not quite up to par, though the girl that plays the other elf does try. (Cpt. Subtlety is playing a ranger who isn't too city-oriented [even though this is merely a small village]; she's trying to find her personality, at least.)

[hooligan x]

"I'm the best at what I do and what I do isn't very interesting"

[Enforcer84]

So we're trying to force open a sarcofagus, why? W're dumb. But anyway. The Burly fighters are not making their STR checks.

Gerbo the peasant warrrior(Str 18): Grunt...no go
Gerbo aids burley Dwarf (Str 17): Grunt...NOPE (rolled a 1, tore a ligament in his shoulder)
Gerbo, and Dwarf aid Thief (STR 14): Gaaaahah!
Finally, my mage...STR 8 mind you...: "okay could someone take my backpack I can hardly move with that..." Now with four of us "IT WORKED!"

Elf to sheepish fighters: "Maybe if you two had bee pushing from the same side..."

[Fuzzy Gnome]

Last Saturday, our party had just literally been through Hell and come out in Shangri-La. We found ourselves in a Buddhist monastery. For some inane gnomish reason, I thought the monks should have loud red-orange robes, but the GM described them as dull brownish orange.
Windows 3000 Sux Man (me): Brown? What's the matter with scarlet?
Quantum: I don't know, and frankly I don't give a damn.