Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

[Kirby]

Team F-up returns from a fight and Dr. Benedict decides to visit his ladyfriend Faisa.

GM: "So you're in Faisa's sweet, sweet embrace..."

Dr. B: "No, wait. I'll check my voicemail first."

All players: "WHAT?!"

Dr B.: No, you're right. Sweet, sweet embrace, then voicemail."

Heh, I'm going to have to use this as a signature line for a little while.

[Samuraiko]

From our most recent 7th Sea game:

Vera: "So, this Montague, he must be pretty impressive if he's led such a successful invasion of Ussura, hmm?"
TaraLeila: "Yes, he is."
Vera: "And how did he manage such a feat?"
Gabrielle (OOC): *breaks into song* "Coz... he's a Montague and he's okay, he marches all night and he sleeps all day!"
*Becky then hides as both Chris and John make ready to hit her with pillows*

Magda the gypsy fortuneteller invites the PCs one by one for a reading of the cards to "show zem ze vay". Chris, our resident Inishman who is seeking his lost love, sees that strangely enough, despite the fact that Madga has turned over something like twelve cards, there are only two cards there, each repeated six times - The Lovers, The Queen of Swords, the Lovers, the Queen of Swords, etc.
Connor: "Maybe 'tis just me, but I'm thinkin' that that's not supposed to be happenin'."

Later, when the group goes drinking and carousing with the gypsies, they introduce the group to the notion of proving your bravery by leaping over a blazing bonfire. The braver ones go first while the fire is still burning high.
Alexei decides to join the fun and backs up to take a running start at the fire. Unfortunately, he's had a few too many, and trips and falls flat on his face once he starts running.
Alexei: "I think I'll just lie here a short while and consider my circumstances."

Michelle
aka
Samuraiko

[Netzilla]

Our Firefly crew needed to steal metal from a space transport ship with a crew of five and was kicking around plans and debating how much violence we were willing to use.

Engineer: "I'd prefer the plan that doesn't include mass murder."

Pilot: "Is five really 'mass'?"

Now that is a true Jayne-style quote.

[Tim]

I pickewd up a few at Diecon this weekend and thought I'd share.

From Steve Long's Champions senerio:

SL: "You're Superheroes. You want to sneak in and smash the place up."

SL: "What time of day are you doing this?"
Defender (played by Scubahero): "Night!"

Sapphire to Witchcraft: "Drain them to Zero Presence and they become more like you."

Witchcraft "I Dex his Drain!"

From a Stargate Game:
two characters talking about General O'Neil:
"He can be serious."
"But not in a serious way."

"The Goa'uld would not duplicate Howard Stern."

"I was trying to rescue you, but this guy can walk thru walls."

While fighting our "evil" duplicates, one of the players mentioned our dupes not being who they were, I cracked a joke about RFK. (Doc Anomaly was also in the game)
DA: "Don't blindside me like that when I'm trying to shoot myself."

from a Dark Champions game:
"There is only enouhg room in a Lamborgini for the Driver and a good looking woman.

From a fantasy Hero game:
A large rat had just jumped on one of the characters.
me: "Is it a rodent of Unusual Size?"
ScubaH: "I don't think they exist"

[Egyptoid]

COSMO-KNITE: team, under no circumstances approach the city...

ELASTI-MAN: okay, I'm not, I'm just going to get a closer look at it.

GM: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzot

[Kirby]

From today's D&D game:

Elf 1 (to NPC farmer): If there were more bad guys, where would they be?

E: You're about as subtle as a brick through a window.


E (runs the Dwarf PC): What's my character's name again?


While trudging through the swamp, the party is attacked by half a dozen stirges. One of them lands on Elf 2. The human PC (K) in the group swings his mace at that one, botches and hits the PC, rolls the die doing 9 points of damge (his max!). The healer (dwarf, player E) bandages the wound and casts a heal spell. Typical comments from K go against the dwarf's player.

E: I'm not drunk and haven't had a drink in a long time. Can't you lay off the mean jokes, 007?

K: 007?

E: Yeah, Licensed to Kill.


While in the swamp, they come upon a large mound that has been bordered up with wood and mud, keeping the swamp water from overflowing into the hidden entrance heading down inside the hill.

Elf 1: Yeah, we're in the right place.

Others: Was there any doubt?


When a skill check is called for, asking if anyone has this skill:

E: (Misspeak) I have wisdom.

GM: (Whispers) Yeah, right.


While the party is going down the slick muddy stairs into the villains' hideout, the dwarf looses his balance, slips and falls (slides) 60 feet to the bottom. Later on when talking about E, the player of the dwarf...

C (E's girlfriend): You're like a slinky, not very useful, but fun to watch going down the stairs.

[Flames]

True story, years and years ago...

George's generic "brick" Champions character is being shot at by a S.W.A.T. team after killing a teenager who he thought was a supervillain.

George had insisted on creating his own character without my help. The results were instructive.

GM: Okay, George, exactly fourteen bullets hit you this round, and they did, let's see, 81 points of BODY damage to you, and you're now at -61 BODY, and you're dead.

George: No, wait! What are you talking about? I have a 50 PD!

GM: Yeah, but you don't have any resistant defense. These are bullets, not beanbags, George. They rip right through you.

George: But... but... I have a 50 PD!

GM: Let's see what's on TV.

[Kirby]

Here's one I forgot, but will have to paraphrase. The PCs are about to go after the cult that has been ruining the town. The bounty hunter elf has tracking and the player wants to know what she rolls. I look and read the description, noting that the ranger class has the best chance at tracking. I look at the player of the elf ranger.

GM: You have tracking, don't you?

Ct: Um...

GM: You don't?! You're an elf ranger who's never been in the city and you don't have tracking?

Ct: I guess I was hoping my wolf would do the tracking.

[Nuadha]

PC#1: She has mind control.
PC#2: Doesn't all women?
Me: Yeah, it's bought with a Focus....Obvious....usually Inaccessible.

[SCUBA Hero]

More quotes from some of Steve's games at DieCon5 (thanks for the first batch, Tim)

Champions

Situation: Kinetic was chasing a Viper hovercraft and was hit by a lucky blaster shot. It didn't *quite* knock him out, but very close. After he clears his head, he makes a perception roll.

GM: You think you see it waaaaaaaaay over there.

Kinetic: (on radio to rest of team) Uh, yeah, I lost them.

******************

Fantasy Hero

GM: Being Heroes bold and true, you cannot resist this adventure, i.e., plot hook.

******************

Situation: A rat is on Drago's shoulder, biting through his armor.

Severin: Hold still, friend Drago!

Drago:

Severin: :skewers rat:

Drago: :whew:

-Later-

Situation: A harpy is attacking Severin.

Drago: I throw a dagger at the harpy!

Severin: Wait, friend Drago! This is completely different than what happened five minutes ago.

Drago: :throws dagger: :hits harpy:

Severin: I never doubted you.

******************

Situation: The party is being attacked by an animated bunch of scrolls that have formed into a humanoid shape.

Severin: :jumps on a cabinet and thrusts his torch into the creature:

GM: It bursts into flame. The entire creature is now on fire!

Severin: :flourishes sword: Ha HA!

Drago: Great. You turned it from a paper golem into a fire elemental.

******************

And finally,

GM: Okay, you all take full damage - unless of course, you have some sort of force field whose special effect is affecting evil magic from demons...

SCUBA Hero: (who has a character that is utterly inappropriate for such a construct) :raises hand:

GM: :bonks SCUBA on the head with an empty water bottle:

[WhammeWhamme]

Lessee.

"Well, I could either go with you, or resume operations of my illegal medical bay Casino... okay Captain, I'm going on the mission"

"Look, if you convince me that I should be on the same side as the other Yehat, we will have the smallest Civil War EVER, as I will have to hunt down the one other Yehat crew member and fight with him to the death..."

"And now for an interesting insight into the Yehat mind; Watson is now convinced that he and the other Yehat on this ship are right and honourable, and the other 8 billion are all in the wrong."

"Civil War? Ah... the good old days."

"Right. Blow up the Ur-Quan dreadnaught and we can leave, rapidly."

"We should just surrender; there's no way we're winning."

"If we manage to disable the sublight drives we could just run away from it in real space indefinately. They'll give up and go home."
"Yes, but possibly not for eight months."

"I shut down all non-essential systems and hit the Dreadnaught with everything we've got."
"NOT THE LIGHTS!"

"Captain? You know that gigantic Precursor Hybrid Battleship?"
"Yes?"
"I've lost it."
(FWOOMP)
"Captain?"
"Yes?"
"I've found it."
(click, click, clatter of dice)
"No, sorry, my mistake."

"Hey, maybe we could capture the Dreadnaught and use all it's stuff to go back down to Valour and refit our ship?"
"Amazing how quickly your levels of confidence change."


"This fight has taken an hour and a half. And we're just getting into the second minute of game time."

[RDU Neil]

PC#1: She has mind control.
PC#2: Doesn't all women?
Me: Yeah, it's bought with a Focus....Obvious....usually Inaccessible.

Hey dude... if you are going to quote me... do it right.

E: But she has mind control.

Me: And this is different how? Don't all women? (I'd never say, "Doesn't all women?" Yeesh.)

You: Yeah, it's bought with a Focus... Obvious... usually inaccessible.

[greymankle]

Hey dude... if you are going to quote me... do it right.

E: But she has mind control.

Me: And this is different how? Don't all women? (I'd never say, "Doesn't all women?" Yeesh.)

You: Yeah, it's bought with a Focus... Obvious... usually inaccessible.

only you Neil would argue grammer on a RPG Quote thread.

[Tim]

And finally,

GM: Okay, you all take full damage - unless of course, you have some sort of force field whose special effect is affecting evil magic from demons...

SCUBA Hero: (who has a character that is utterly inappropriate for such a construct) :raises hand:

GM: :bonks SCUBA on the head with an empty water bottle:

Also from the Fantasy Hero game:
The party is fighting a group of undead Orcs, all the hth types are engaged.

Mage: Should I cast a fireball guys?
Most everyone: Cast away, we can take it.
Mage: (Rolls a total of 2 on 2d6 rka, AER)
Me; Well, at least my armor is now dry.

[Haerandir]

only you Neil would argue grammer on a RPG Quote thread.

Actually, I've done it, as well. Neil's just quicker on the draw.