Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

[Klytus]

FRom a fellow Player in our Pulp HERO game:

"Okay. Unspeakable evil, major threat to humanity, we're the only ones who can save the world. Must be a Wednesday...",

Yikes! I'd hate to see what Monday's look like...

[ghost-angel]

Traveller Hero this weekend, the ships to Procurers (aka the scum sucking scoundrels they keep around because the bank account keeps growing... Eric and Harry) are discussing what to do with 4 suddenly captured robots, the Engineer Kurt has to listen to them:

Eric: We need to arm them.
Harry: Oh yes, man portable death stars.
Eric: A 6 Parsec recoil
Kurt: *just cries* That's not how it works!

Later on...
Eric: My greatest mistake was leaving that soccer mom alive on that planet...
Harry: Considering we had to leave because the entire sectors military forces were after us, I think, we can count that as a non-issue.
Eric: Maybe.
Kurt: See this map, all the red dots are sectors we can't return to because of you guys.
Harry: Doesn't seem like very many.
Kurt: It's a third of them!

[Christopher]

Kurt: See this map, all the red dots are sectors we can't return to because of you guys.
Harry: Doesn't seem like very many.
Kurt: It's a third of them!

Considering that the average chance to have a planet in a sector is about 1/3, that's a lot....

But that reminds me of this one Simpson Episode

[ghost-angel]

Considering that the average chance to have a planet in a sector is about 1/3, that's a lot....

But that reminds me of this one Simpson Episode

we have a star map, and only stop in sectors with planets, inhabited ones at that.

[Christopher]

we have a star map, and only stop in sectors with planets, inhabited ones at that.

So, does that mean they are barred form 1/3 of the sectors with inhabitable planets? Would still, be a lot...

[Mindscape]

From our most recent Pulp game, which contains a character that wore a mask and carried a gas gun that could spray knockout gas or create a smokescreen to blind people. It became a running joke that he was basically Darkwing Duck, so much so that he started fights with some kind of Darkwing like saying. The one that sticks out most in my mind was in our final game.

Shots a smokescreen shell into a group of bad guys, "Who's there?" a thug shouted to which our hero replied "I am the warm current in your pool."

[Drhoz]

Not as many RPG quotes as usual the last few weeks, what with the D&D 4th Ed game imploding, and Dark Heresy postponed from lack of players. We did play Chrononauts for a few hours instead though, which was fun, especially when games devolved into assassinating or rescuing historical figures, and other players undoing the damage to history, and repeated ad nauseum. Reagan was a popular target, as of course was Hitler.

Me : *Assassinating Hitler for the third time that game* Hitler, in the Reichstag, with a lead pipe.

But I did get to run Call of Cthulhu for Rob and Leece at Swancon last night - the adventure 'Mr Corbitt' from Mansions of Madness. And picked up three more players as we went along.

I opened it with the conceit that the characters were a Bridge club that met weekly for a few rubbers, and were just packing up for the night when their nice neighbour across the road, the widower Bernie Corbitt, got home, and fumbled one of his parcels as he unlocked the door. That parcel being a severed child's arm. Naturally, this perturbed the characters, and they snuck across the road after dark to investigate, but heard only curious gurgling and electrical noises from the basement, where the lights were on but the blinds were drawn. They decided against breaking in - after all, that wouldn't be a very neighbourly thing to do, even if he did have a child's arm in the house. Although they were now perturbed by recollection of just how healthy and exuberant his vegetable garden grew...

The Major : Do I have a pistol?
GM : Not on you. You don't have a concealed carry licence either, although that's unlikely to be a problem. After all, you're not Irish or Italian. What reason would the police have to harass you? It's not like you're going to go around breaking into neighbour's houses because somebody told you they have human bodyparts on the premises.

The next day the four of them split up to hit the newspaper morgues, Sanitarium, and local hospital and cemeteries to confirm what they knew about their friend and neighbour, and try and discover the source of the arm.

Mrs DiMera : We've got a mystery to solve.
The Major : We need a large dog.
Mrs DiMera : And a green van

Dr Eliott : Major! Good to see you. What can I do for you?
The Major : *holds up shaking hand* I've these alcohol withdrawal symptoms
Dr Eliott : Hold on a moment, I'll fix you up an alcohol prescription

The Major : Do you do any dissections here?
Dr Eliott : Of course! We're a teaching hospital.
The Major : Have you done any on children lately?
Dr Eliott : Yes, actually, we had one a few days ago
The Major : That must be... difficult.
Dr Eliott : Well, it helps if you have small hands.

These leads all prove inconclusive, or at least the people they talked to couldn't help. But at least Bernie is heading out of town for a few days, and asks the Professor to watch the house. That'll give him a chance to search the porch for the spare key. And failing that, the Major rocks up armed to the teeth with housebreaking tools and flashlights. And, in case they need a strong right arm, the Professor enlists one of his grad students, Quincy. ( Another passer-by roped into the game. Magdeline's very first RPG! ) Sad to say, things didn't end well for him, although the Jenkins Street Bridge Club do prove amazingly unflappable. It wasn't even that the first horrible discovery that upset them much, or even the second. It was the realisation that neither explained the child's arm, and their resulting discovery of the third horror. That left poor Quincy insane and dead, the Major majorly mangled, and the rest in frantic retreat to call in the authorities.

Mrs Carrington-Upton : You don't shoot people for being wrong!
Prof. Lambton : You haven't been in academia long, have you?

The police called in don't prove as mentally resilient as the Bridge Club, and the single man that re-emerges from the house flees screaming. The Bridge Club do attempt to call in further police to send in after the first lot, but it's the Army that shows up and heads in. One of them has some sort of back-pack and hose arrangement on.

Prof. Lambton : Ah. If all else fails, try flamethrowers.

Needless to say, the house is burnt to the ground. For 'health reasons'. And their dear neighbour Bernie is never seen again....

[Major Tom 2009]

Not as many RPG quotes as usual the last few weeks, what with the D&D 4th Ed game imploding, and Dark Heresy postponed from lack of players. We did play Chrononauts for a few hours instead though, which was fun, especially when games devolved into assassinating or rescuing historical figures, and other players undoing the damage to history, and repeated ad nauseum. Reagan was a popular target, as of course was Hitler.

Me : *Assassinating Hitler for the third time that game* Hitler, in the Reichstag, with a lead pipe.

But I did get to run Call of Cthulhu for Rob and Leece at Swancon last night - the adventure 'Mr Corbitt' from Mansions of Madness. And picked up three more players as we went along.

I opened it with the conceit that the characters were a Bridge club that met weekly for a few rubbers, and were just packing up for the night when their nice neighbour across the road, the widower Bernie Corbitt, got home, and fumbled one of his parcels as he unlocked the door. That parcel being a severed child's arm. Naturally, this perturbed the characters, and they snuck across the road after dark to investigate, but heard only curious gurgling and electrical noises from the basement, where the lights were on but the blinds were drawn. They decided against breaking in - after all, that wouldn't be a very neighbourly thing to do, even if he did have a child's arm in the house. Although they were now perturbed by recollection of just how healthy and exuberant his vegetable garden grew...

The Major : Do I have a pistol?
GM : Not on you. You don't have a concealed carry licence either, although that's unlikely to be a problem. After all, you're not Irish or Italian. What reason would the police have to harass you? It's not like you're going to go around breaking into neighbour's houses because somebody told you they have human bodyparts on the premises.

The next day the four of them split up to hit the newspaper morgues, Sanitarium, and local hospital and cemeteries to confirm what they knew about their friend and neighbour, and try and discover the source of the arm.

Mrs DiMera : We've got a mystery to solve.
The Major : We need a large dog.
Mrs DiMera : And a green van

Dr Eliott : Major! Good to see you. What can I do for you?
The Major : *holds up shaking hand* I've these alcohol withdrawal symptoms
Dr Eliott : Hold on a moment, I'll fix you up an alcohol prescription

The Major : Do you do any dissections here?
Dr Eliott : Of course! We're a teaching hospital.
The Major : Have you done any on children lately?
Dr Eliott : Yes, actually, we had one a few days ago
The Major : That must be... difficult.
Dr Eliott : Well, it helps if you have small hands.

These leads all prove inconclusive, or at least the people they talked to couldn't help. But at least Bernie is heading out of town for a few days, and asks the Professor to watch the house. That'll give him a chance to search the porch for the spare key. And failing that, the Major rocks up armed to the teeth with housebreaking tools and flashlights. And, in case they need a strong right arm, the Professor enlists one of his grad students, Quincy. ( Another passer-by roped into the game. Magdeline's very first RPG! ) Sad to say, things didn't end well for him, although the Jenkins Street Bridge Club do prove amazingly unflappable. It wasn't even that the first horrible discovery that upset them much, or even the second. It was the realisation that neither explained the child's arm, and their resulting discovery of the third horror. That left poor Quincy insane and dead, the Major majorly mangled, and the rest in frantic retreat to call in the authorities.

Mrs Carrington-Upton : You don't shoot people for being wrong!
Prof. Lambton : You haven't been in academia long, have you?

The police called in don't prove as mentally resilient as the Bridge Club, and the single man that re-emerges from the house flees screaming. The Bridge Club do attempt to call in further police to send in after the first lot, but it's the Army that shows up and heads in. One of them has some sort of back-pack and hose arrangement on.

Prof. Lambton : Ah. If all else fails, try flamethrowers.

Needless to say, the house is burnt to the ground. For 'health reasons'. And their dear neighbour Bernie is never seen again....

Bernie's last words: "And I'd have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those
meddling bridge players!"


Major Tom 2009

[Ragitsu]

"Sure, you can come. We can always use more soft cover"

[Ragitsu]

Vampire the Masquerade.

Idiot Boy (as I disaffectionately call him) was playing a Tremere, a clan that the GM can't stand for some reason. Anyway, he goes off alone to meditate when the GM calls for awareness checks. Idiot Boy was the only one successful and thus declares "I sense a disturbance in the force." Suddenly, a man pops up from the ground, chops off his head in one swoop, and escapes through said hole.

*dead silence for about a minute, then...*

Other player: "He got killed by Bugs Bunny"

[Drhoz]

Bernie's last words: "And I'd have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those
meddling bridge players!"

Were you there? You just quoted the players, word for word.

[Captain Obvious]

Don't ask how he knows what happened at that game session. The truth is too hideous to contemplate.

[Clonus]

Yikes! I'd hate to see what Monday's look like...

Their show isn't on on Mondays.

[Major Tom 2009]

Drhoz: No, I wasn't there. It seemed like the logical thing to say, given the description
of the events in your post.

Captain Obvious: Nothing hideous involved here; I have, however, been accused in
the past of being a Jedi...with all that that implies.


Major Tom 2009

[Lucius]

Crossposted. This is from a game I played decades ago.

Or snigger evilly behind your screen, roll a whole bunch of dice, pretend to write the results down, and just ask the PCs what their next actions are. Then, whatever the group does (or, more likely, doesn't do), just say "Okay" and carry on as if nothing had happened.

Maybe follow up a little later with a totally random question or two, such as who is wearing the thickest (or thinnest) soled footwear or the colour blue, or what the party had for breakfast. Nod sagely at their responses, make some more (pretend) notes and die rolls then, again, carry on as if nothing had happened.

You can get PCs so paranoid that they will be running Doppelganger checks on THEMSELVES, and that kind of entertainment never gets old.

My character Stormwalker's first game featured a shapeshifting character, Mask, of dubious sanity.

Stormwalker had consented to let a member of another supergroup take and analyze a sample of (his own) DNA. Showing up for the appointment, he paid a call on that group's leader.

Paragon: Ah, Stormwalker, I see you've arrived.

Stormwalker: Yes, unless Mask knocked me out and locked me in the closet and assumed my identity.

(pause)

Stormwalker: Wait. How do I know that didn't happen?

Paragon (bemused, or perhaps just amused): Indeed.

Stormwalker: I flew here. Mask can't imitate powers, just appearance and personality, so I must be the real Stormwalker.

Paragon: Did anyone see you arrive?

Stormwalker (after a moment of consternation, flies straight up and hovers in the room): That proves it, I'm really Stormwalker!

Paragon: Unless Mask has powers we don't know about yet.

Stormwalker (landing): I'm going to Nereid's laboratory. Maybe SHE can tell me who I really am!

Lucius Alexander

How do I know I'm not really a palindromedary under a delusion of being Lucius Alexander?