Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

[hooligan x]

Lillith (Terror’s character) and Mad Angus have eloped to Niagara Falls (contrary to Dr. Benedict’s warnings about marrying an Unseelie fae). Meanwhile, Dr Benedict (Jim) is sucker-zapped with an NND and awakens to find his amulet missing and a note from his girlfriend saying she was sorry.


Terror: “HA! You were all ‘Whaa whaa! Don’t marry Angus, you’ll regret it!’ Now who’s getting honeymoon sex and who got his amulet stolen, Bee-YOTCH!?”

[Kirby]

In my Champions game on Herocentral:

Amy Amazing picks up a van that bad men (normals) are hiding behind and holds it above her head like she's going to smash it on them.

Bad man: "Not the face! Not the face!"

[Enforcer84]

A little out of context but...


GM: Okay, the heal works. Utgart's Back...
Ichabod: ...and we're going to be in trouble....

[Lil' Tweaker]

After literally demolishing an entire building during a hostage situation that somehow involved an out of control chaos mage and a rampaging oni, Poet emerges from what is left of the campus anthropology building.
Poet: It's alright! I'm alright! You can move along now. Um... classes will resume as scheduled...

[Chuckg]

A D&D game I was in several years ago...

OK, between a combo of a DM who used inappropriately high-CR monsters, a player who thought that 'Lawful Good' meant 'Lawful Stupid' and yet for reasons known only to himself picked the paladin anyway, and a supporting cast who faithfully RP'ed their alignments even when all common sense was telling them it was time to run away, most of the party died.

We were a level 7-8 party. Basic sequence of events was this:

* Paladin opens door, sees lich, and rather than close the door and get the eff out of dodge -- seeing as how a lich is *well* above our ability to survive -- he screams and charges. See above re: 'had a point to prove about how LG supposedly means LS'.

* LG cleric of the dwarven war god goes 'You idiot!'... and goes in anyway, as both alignment and honor code are compelling him to back up his comrade-in-arms.

* LG cleric of the same deity that the paladin worships (my character)... well, I'm stuck. Not only are alignment and ethos absolutely not letting me abandon my comrades to their deaths, but Sir Brain-Dead and I are in the same church hierarchy. So, resigning myself to gruesome death, I go in.

* CG half-orc fighter -- sees that his buddies are in trouble, charges in to go help them out. Entirely in character. (Especially given his Int 8).

* N mage -- stays in partial cover at the doorway arch, snipes with spells.

OK, I just went down the initiative order for round one. Then the lich took its action... and proceeded to obliterate all five characters I just named, with some type of area-effect negative energy damaging spell that I don't even know the name of. I mean, we're talking "straight from full HP to below -10 in one shot". Only the paladin successfully saved, but even half damage was enough to atomize him, as we were already down some HP from an earlier encounter.

However, while the area of effect covered the entire room and the doorway, it did /not/ cover the hall outside... so two of our party were still alive.

Those two party members were a N thief/mage, and a CN thief.

And I swear to God, feet sticking up, that as soon as the lich blew us all into ash, the two players in question turned to each other at the table and said, without missing a beat:

"Race you back to camp."

[BcAugust]

On the less disturbing one this week...

"Some men would call it being whipped, but it's actually a finely honed survival instinct."

The more disturbing one (Said by the, up to now, cuter then cute eight year old watching her adoptive mother give birth.)

"Why doesn't mommy clean them up like the kitty does? They smell like they would taste good."

[Arkham]

Spoken by the 'reformed' supervillain to the Martial Artist...

"So, do you think you can Feng Shui my weapons of mass destruction?"

[hooligan x]

Dr. Benedict has had his amulet stolen, without which he'll quickly advance to his chronilogical age and die. He calls Lillith who has eloped and is not enthusiastic about returning to the city.

Dr. B: "Lillith, You must come back. I need your help desperately!"

Lillith: "I told you already. First the pants, then the shoes!"

[mikesama]

In 7th seas game I run on fridays one of the characters, Drago, had found a treasure map and had taken to hiding it in the front of his pants. Drago not understanding the first thing about navigation and maps grabs annother PC and takes him up to the room he has in the local inn and tells him, "Drago has big secret to show you" and reaches into the front of his pants.

Took a few minutes to get anything going at all with all of us laughing.

And yes I did give him a drama dice for entertaining us so.

[lemming]

Similar to what happened to my wife in a grocery store.
She's a tour guide at Best Friends, a large animal sanctuary and this woman ran into her at the supermarker in town.
The woman comes up to my wife and says "Would you like to meet the twins?" while reaching into her shirt. Turns out she had a pair of chipmunk babies being kept warm in her bossum.

[Koshka]

From my Dark Champions game at GenCon: The game opened up with the members of LIBRA being set up, so needless to say they're a bit ticked. Especially Sarge, as he has a thing about plans that don't work out. Once they find the first of their street contacts, Sarge tells Blade to come with him and pull his biggest knife (actually a machete).

Sarge to contact: "Now, we can do this the easy way or the cutlery way."

[zornwil]

From my Dark Champions game at GenCon: The game opened up with the members of LIBRA being set up, so needless to say they're a bit ticked. Especially Sarge, as he has a thing about plans that don't work out. Once they find the first of their street contacts, Sarge tells Blade to come with him and pull his biggest knife (actually a machete).

Sarge to contact: "Now, we can do this the easy way or the cutlery way."

Hey, a quote I was there to hear, too! Great pick, too, and once again, thanks, it was a nice game, Koshka!

[OddHat]

The battle cry of Legend (Superman tribute) in my third GMing session at Gen Con:

Hands on chest, legs spread , chest out: "Go on! Kick me in the Jimmy!"

[Enforcer84]

I liked the Japanese Monk who saw the colorfully costumed New Circle approaching and asked in broken english:

"You Cosplay festival?"

[CrosshairCollie]

Pickup D&D game tonight. I decide to do something I rarely do, a pretty mindlessly direct greataxe-wielding Barbarian. I hold off my one-and-only berserk rage until the end of the night ... and we encounter the main bad guy.

I get the best initiative.
I rage.
I charge.
I attack.
I hit critically.
My 3d12 damage comes up 10,11,12.
Counting my Strength and Power Attack at the time, the damage came up to 53.
Fight over.

Everybody just kind of stares at the minis and grid map for a moment. There's an uncomfortable silence, and then ...

Me: "Looks like the crit hit the fan."