Some quotes from the Pathfinder Society's introductory games at GhenghisCon :
On one of Lloth's lines from Paul Kidd's 'Queen of the Demonweb Pits' - "I feel like a schoolgirl! Have the kitchen send one up."
Player : Can we do that? Have the kitchen send one up?
GM : I don't know, it's my first time
Player : That's what she said!
GM : Waiting paid off - there were only two of us before.... you guys spoiled a perfect romantic evening
Player : There are no gnomes. They were all killed. With bolter rounds. I mean it - I hate gnomes so much I'm willing to import Space Marines just to wipe them out. 'Oh dear, we're out of bolter ammo - time to warm up the chainsword'.
Player One : I'm a tiefling
Player Two : Pardon?
Player One : I'm a tiefling
Player Two : Oh, I thought you said 'I'm a teapot'
First-time Gamer Girl : Can we kill stuff now?
GM : And now I have performance anxiety
Player One : There's a pill for that.
Player Two : Gnomes are all dead, aren't they? I heard that somewhere.
Player One : Some sort of horrible massacre, wasn't it? *looks innocent*
Cthulhu started off badly - McGinty's player was a no-show, so I had to pull out the back-up adventure, The Warren, from the first edition of Shadows of Yog-Sothoth. A ... flawed... module, to put it mildly, very much an early Chaosium product, but I needed an adventure on a hurry, and this one was available. But at least it gave Agents Johnson & Rondale their moment in the sun - the Office had asked them to look into the case of a mystery explosion at the abandoned Boucher house, and the possibly related disappearance of a demolitions expert, mostly to check that McGinty wasn't involved. Rondale et al are pretty sure he wasn't, despite the number of mystery explosions he's actually admitted to, but are happy enough to investigate.
GM : After all, if McGinty wasn't involved, what are odds, what are the odds that it's anything horrible?
Aldous Quinn : Of course it wasn't McGinty, it was 'Chucky Larms'
Agent Johnson : Where was McGinty that day?
GM : Tormenting Al.
Aldous Quinn : But that just means he has an alibi!
Rondale : So McGinty wasn't involved? Then we can leave this one for the police - problem solved
GM : *looks hurt*
Agent Johnson : How did we explain Al's injuries?
GM : He was trampled by a mob of rampaging English Majors.
Aldous Quinn : And it's true, too!
Rather than doing any actual investigating, the investigators head straight out to the Boucher house with no idea on what to expect. At least they show some paranoia when they actually get there, and express some suspicion about the verdantly overgrown grounds, especially when they discover that all the bodies in the family mausoleum as missing.
Rondale : Hmm. Maybe they used the bodies in some sort of plant growth ritual?
GM : Could be - after all, it's part of Thanksgiving folklore that the Indians taught the Pilgrims to bury a dead fish next to each corn plant, and there's not that much difference between fish and people - just ask the folk of Innsmouth.
Speculation arises about what they might be facing - vampires or zombies seems likely. Rondale gives Johnson some advice.
Rondale : You know what I said about 'shoot the head'? Do that.
Aldous : It's good advice anyway - providing you want them dead.
GM : Of course, if it is zombies, that's evidence McGinty is involved.
Johnson : It is?
GM : Sure is - ask Rondale about the South Boston warehouse case. Sure, McGinty denied all knowledge, but it did involve comical zombie arrangements and an illicit still. So the evidence is there...
Aldous gives the other two a impromptu lecture about the undead, methods of vampire disposal, and comparative burial practises, while the three drag a heavy bronze casket across the room.
GM : All I can say is that they must have had a ****ing strange library at Sing Sing.
Eventually they turn their attentions to the interior of the house, and before long are turning up assorted skeletal remains.
Agent Johnson : Can I tell anything about it?
GM : Well, it's a bit late for first aid.
Clearly, their long association with McGinty has left the three of them slightly jaded with less horrific things - mere body parts become objects of sport.
Agent Johnson : So do I lob this skull into the yard with the others?
GM : You hear a rattling, rolling noise out in the corridor, and Johnson yelling 'Strike!'
Rondale : We are NOT telling McGinty about this. In five seconds flat he'd be on a donkey playing Skull Polo.
GM : How about a spot of ventriloquism? *holds up skull* Gottle o gere, gottle o geer!
Faced with yet another room to excavate -
Rondale : Ten bucks says we find another body.
Agent Johnson : No bet.
Assorted cash and valuables are also found lying around.
Rondale : Well, there's our proof McGinty hasn't been here. Nobody's stolen the loot.
On top of their repeated and total failure to notice anything odd about the human remains, they also display a total inability to catch a curtain with a grappling hook. Indeed, they become quite disconcerted.
GM : It must be some sort of illusion.
Rondale : Or the room is non-Euclidean.
GM : After all the horrible things he's done, why do you let McGinty live?
Rondale : Well, sometimes there's a house that needs to die.
This one would seem to be a candidate, especially after they find out what happened to the missing demolitions expert.
Rondale : He died as he had lived - exploding.
Aldous heads off to pick up McGinty, who should be overjoyed by this opportunity for some wanton destruction, especially if he's not paying for the dynamite.
Rondale : Who ever said that high explosives solve nothing?
Aldous : I'd do it myself, Mr Rondale, but all I remember from Mr. McGinty's lessons is that P = Plenty
Rondale and Johnson search the last few rooms while they wait, and find yet more remains.
Rondale OOC : Who the hell lived here, the Brady Bunch?
Of course, a more important question is who is living their now - a question resolved with rapid retreat, and overtime paperwork for the ONI flamethrower squad. But at least somebody other than McGinty got an opportunity to cause major property damage for a change.
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Originally Posted by Shadow Hawk
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