Walking Directions To Mordor

**Susano** · Aug 11th, '07, 09:45 AM

http://www.ooblick.com/text/tomordor/

**L. Marcus** · Aug 11th, '07, 11:09 AM

. . . Hoh hyuss!

***yamamura*** · Aug 11th, '07, 07:41 PM

Nice Find!!!

**Lawnmower Boy** · Aug 12th, '07, 01:41 PM

What the heck? Okay, this worked great for the Shire, but directions get a little sparse later on. When I hit the Pelinnor Fields interchange I pretty much had to take an exit at random. I thought I was on the Minas Tirith bypass until I ended up in grinding traffic jam at a dead end a thousand feet in the air stuck watching some guy go all Burning Man.
Let me tell you, do not even bother looking for a motel room in M. T. It's like there's an army in town. I had to drive all the way to Minas Morgul to find a place with a vacancy at a reasonable price, and let's just say that it was not exactly a 5 star joint. The SO was talking about skinflints and being stuck "in hell," the kids were all going totally arachnophobia, and some 3" juvenile delinquent stole the car and crashed it into a volcano.
And don't even get me started on the MEAA. "Blah blah epochal crisis blah." "Some delays" my arse. We were stuck in that crummy motel for a week waiting for a rental.

**Susano** · Aug 12th, '07, 02:04 PM

Originally Posted by Lawnmower Boy

What the heck? Okay, this worked great for the Shire, but directions get a little sparse later on. When I hit the Pelinnor Fields interchange I pretty much had to take an exit at random. I thought I was on the Minas Tirith bypass until I ended up in grinding traffic jam at a dead end a thousand feet in the air stuck watching some guy go all Burning Man.
Let me tell you, do not even bother looking for a motel room in M. T. It's like there's an army in town. I had to drive all the way to Minas Morgul to find a place with a vacancy at a reasonable price, and let's just say that it was not exactly a 5 star joint. The SO was talking about skinflints and being stuck "in hell," the kids were all going totally arachnophobia, and some 3" juvenile delinquent stole the car and crashed it into a volcano.
And don't even get me started on the MEAA. "Blah blah epochal crisis blah." "Some delays" my arse. We were stuck in that crummy motel for a week waiting for a rental.

I think you're supposed to take a left at the Last Exit to Babylon.

**ghost-angel** · Aug 12th, '07, 05:12 PM

Originally Posted by Lawnmower Boy

What the heck? Okay, this worked great for the Shire, but directions get a little sparse later on. When I hit the Pelinnor Fields interchange I pretty much had to take an exit at random. I thought I was on the Minas Tirith bypass until I ended up in grinding traffic jam at a dead end a thousand feet in the air stuck watching some guy go all Burning Man.
Let me tell you, do not even bother looking for a motel room in M. T. It's like there's an army in town. I had to drive all the way to Minas Morgul to find a place with a vacancy at a reasonable price, and let's just say that it was not exactly a 5 star joint. The SO was talking about skinflints and being stuck "in hell," the kids were all going totally arachnophobia, and some 3" juvenile delinquent stole the car and crashed it into a volcano.
And don't even get me started on the MEAA. "Blah blah epochal crisis blah." "Some delays" my arse. We were stuck in that crummy motel for a week waiting for a rental.

I know how you feel. F-ing Mapquest.

(warning, the linked image is not safe for work.)

***Steve Long*** · Aug 13th, '07, 07:09 AM

Funny, but ideally the distances should have been listed in leagues, not miles, for maximum ha-ha value.

**Zeropoint** · Aug 13th, '07, 11:34 PM

Ultimately, these directions are seriously flawed.

One does not simply walk into Mordor.

**Susano** · Aug 14th, '07, 04:16 AM

Originally Posted by Zeropoint

Ultimately, these directions are seriously flawed.

One does not simply walk into Mordor.

Or Rock Into Mordor.

**Markdoc** · Aug 14th, '07, 05:27 AM

Originally Posted by Zeropoint

Ultimately, these directions are seriously flawed.

One does not simply walk into Mordor.

One does! One totally does!

cheers, Mark

**L. Marcus** · Aug 14th, '07, 07:36 AM

Or two. Or three.

More than that would probably be a bit on the unfeasable side.

***teh bunneh*** · Aug 14th, '07, 08:36 AM

I notice that the minute they left Bree, the Hobbits completely ignored the instructions. So they end up in the middle of Moria and have no idea where they are anymore. Typical.