USA 5O for Sixth Edition

[Egyptoid]

Posting 6E stats of Heroes of the USA5O,
for review and comment.

[Egyptoid]

for your review and comment: ALASKA

the final version of the art, and flavor text, and interview are not there. (for that you must buy the book. 8 )

please critique. the heroes must be logical, playable, and have good details such as spelling, and work for Sixth Ed.
points balance doesnt matter as much as story. they are not built with rule of X in mind.

[BobGreenwade]

First, I really like the way you've laid out the Characteristics. For one thing, now that Combat Values are separated from DEX and EGO, we might as well have values that don't reflect their former status, and you do that (somewhat) here. For another, there's some benefit for having values other than those that end with 0/3/5/8, and there are a few here.

I do think you'll get better, clearer formatting from HD if you use Custom Modifier rather than the Limited Power Limitation.

Also, you might do better to spell out "Alaska" rather than using the abbreviation "AK" (which can also mean "Area Knowledge" to Herophiles).

With the Glacier Man power, Inherent Density Increase hasn't been book-legal since 4th Edition. Instead, use the Hefty Mass Template from 6E1 446.

On the Safe Cave power, I think you do have to buy the Fixed Locations in order to be able to Teleport only to Fixed Locations.

Just a personal opinion here, but I think I'd put the entire Wild Alaska Multipower should have the OAF: Spear. There may be a reason to do otherwise that I don't know about, but I personally would feel more comfortable with it that way.

I do think that you'd also do better to keep the Complications at the book-recommended 75 points. The USA-50 Package is 35 points' worth, leaving 40 points for the individual; with Wildcatter I'd leave Enraged In Combat, Negative Reputation: Loose Cannon (reduced to 8-), Physical Complication: Hefty, DF: Huge Bear Of A Man, and Hunted by Russian and Canadian Authorities. (Most of the rest can probably be either written out of the character's background, or written in such a way that the resulting Complication would be worth 0 points.) Even if you don't trim anything, I did notice that you put in the Rivalry with Mountaineer twice.

[Egyptoid]

most of your criticisms are excellent and will be integrated in one way or another,
thanks again for the help.

however:

>> I do think that you'd also do better to keep the Complications at the book-recommended 75 points.

that's a tough one. I fashioned a solution, alloyed from the finest handwavium.

[Matt Holck]

6 +1 with all Agility Skills 9 Breakfall 15-
I only found one agility skill

The dogs need to be written up
will they have a take down maneuver?

[Egyptoid]

I have re posted ALASKA and he has most of the mods suggested

thanks again. it really helps.



now also up: ARKANSAS
again, please critique and comment.

note: he has a ton of complications, because he has a long "history"
I've divided them into major and minor, with a value reduction on the minors
to represent their role as flavor text

[Egyptoid]

SOUTH DAKOTA also needs critique, please

powers need to make sense, no spelling errors, some balance, but not much.
if there's anything wrong with the hero bits, its the HD software's fault.

Again, these guys had a TON of complications. For 6th Edition I scaled them back,
and the ones at the top should be considered the 'hard' complications,
and the ones below as more flavor text.

[Egyptoid]

TENNESSEE needs a lot of help.
I kind of went nuts on the football stuff, expanding what Hermit started.

please critique and comment, thanks.

[rjcurrie]

I have re posted ALASKA and he has most of the mods suggested

thanks again. it really helps.

Looks pretty good.

I don't care much for your approach to Complications. I suspect I'd rather see you take a close look at how important the various Complications really are to the character and trim them down to 75. For instance, is the group DNPC really that important to the character? Or is it just something that worth a line or so in the background write-up?

Also, is it really necessary to give Research In Motion (makers of the Blackberry) a book full of free advertising? Would "Team smartphone" not work just as well? If you do decide on using Blackberry, you check into what you need to do to properly acknowledge Research in Motion's trademark -- so that you do not contribute to the possible loss of their trademark.

[rjcurrie]

now also up: ARKANSAS
again, please critique and comment.

note: he has a ton of complications, because he has a long "history"
I've divided them into major and minor, with a value reduction on the minors
to represent their role as flavor text

Once again, if a lot of it is flavor text, is it really necessary on the charater sheet? Or can it simply be in the text?

"Science Skill: Science" seems a strange way to express a knowledge of Flora and Fauna. Perhaps "Science: Flora and Fauna" and even then is his knowlege of all Flora and Fauna or American (or North American) Flora and Fauna? For example, does he really know anything about exotic plants in the Amazon Rain Forest?

Is the team Blackberry something that only some team members have?

[rjcurrie]

MISSOURI is up for review and comment.

His Team Blackberry is Difficult to Dispel and thus costs 9 points compared to Alaska's 6 point version without Difficult to Dispel. You should probably settle on one version.

I'm assuming these are still very rough write-ups and you will eventually clean-up things like replacing "Custom Adder" with the actual text describing the Adder.

And I second Bob's recommendation of using "Custom Modifier" rather than "Limited Power". There's at least one example (Water Currents Sense) where there is no definition of what the Limitation being represented by Limited Power is.

To be honest, these write-ups seem so rough that it is hard to review them in any meaningful way. If there is more editign to come on areas such as Custom Adder and on the Limited Power stuff, it might be best to state up front what reviewers shoudl and shouldn't be looking for.

[Egyptoid]

1) DISADS: This quote from 6E is my guiding philosophy:

The value of many Complications depends on how often they affect the character or come into
play. The more common they are, or the more frequently they factor into the campaign, the more they’re worth.

So in my sheets, if its listed first, and costs 15-25 points, its going to happen a lot in game, and is worth points.
if its listed later, below the flavor text line:
A) its been discounted, to reflect the 6E "tightness of complications" as I read it.
B) its well nigh optional, won't come up much, or is just not that complicational.
C) might give 5 points

Keep in mind: many of these characters are not written by me. I cannot always say which
(during the crossover from 5 to 6E) are the most important to the original author.
In the 5th Ed. I've seen and run, characters have many disads. So I'm keeping them all,
but applying a 6E metric to what's 75 points worth. And they do all add up to 75 points.
I see nothing in the rules prohibiting a zero point complication.


2) BLACKBERRIES
well, smartphone is also now a registered trademark.
I don't remember why Catfish's PDA was tougher. that was over a year ago, man.
perhaps I'll do something creative with the team PDAs. like they're all Newports



3) EDITING Thanks for helping. Most of the faults in the sheets are all mine.
Plus the transfer into google docs leaves something to be desired also.
Some very few can be blamed on export tags and formats.
Sometimes things look great in HD and then later you wonder where it went.

"Meaningful" to me is any help at all. Please point out any lil nitpick.
The most helpful thing is 6E stuff. these are my 1st forays into sixth,
and what use to work for me in FReD may be hooey now.


4) ARTWORK this is not final art, these are placeholders,
and to remind you which character on which we are looking at stats.
The real, good, lifelike art work must be purhcased in the book (or pdf)



5) QUALITY I admit these could be better,that's why I'm asking for help.
These are not finished products, so I will only accept constructive critiques.
I've already been told in other venues that I seem to be a lousy writer,
so let's please focus on what can be done well.

Bob Greenwade has helped me quite a bit, and you'll notice, his items are not in
this thread because they are already quite well done.

Also note, 95% of the flavor text is redacted until publication of the book.
But some of it is still visible on the 5th Ed. version of the site.

The intended audience for the book will hopefully be quite broad.
New players can enjoy it as is. Experts can cherry pick what they like.

[Egyptoid]

PUERTO RICO needs some critiques.

Gracias de antemano por cualquier idea y los insumos.

[Egyptoid]

MAINE has been posted, please review and comment.

some of the confusion may be caused by the lack of note printing
which the export format does not seem to be doing.

[BobGreenwade]

Actually the problem I've been having is that, other than Alaska, the format isn't quite the standard I'm used to seeing -- things in a different order than expected, and all that. Normally this would be a minor problem at worst, but my poor Aspie brain's kind of tired lately and doesn't want to make adjustments.

I'll see what I can get into for you next week.