Viper Gecko: glub, glub

[Lightray]

Anybody notice that the Viper Gecko vehicle (p 121) with the Aqua-Gecko option... does NOT have Life Support?

So, the fleeing Cobra division agents who drive their small submersible car into the lake, hoping to escape pursuing superheroes... will need to be hauled out of their flooded and waterlogged car. Unless they thought to bring along SCUBA gear.

I suspect this is what passes for an Adder division "joke"...

[Twilight]

Originally posted by Lightray
Anybody notice that the Viper Gecko vehicle (p 121) with the Aqua-Gecko option... does NOT have Life Support?

So, the fleeing Cobra division agents who drive their small submersible car into the lake, hoping to escape pursuing superheroes... will need to be hauled out of their flooded and waterlogged car. Unless they thought to bring along SCUBA gear.

I suspect this is what passes for an Adder division "joke"...

More likely a simple mistake on behalf of the writer, either that or Aqua Geckos only get issued to people who already have Life Support.

I'm guessing some technician at VIPER would be saying oops, except he's probably dead because of this.

[Chuckg]

*cue Serpent-General Cliffe, walking into the lab -- soaking wet*

(screaming at the top of his lungs) -- "That's IT! Somebody DIES!!!"

[Ghost who Walks]

I think it is obvious what happens...

VIPER Nest Leader: Have no fear my loyal minions, for I have acquired a Aqua-Gecko to enable you to escape after the bank robbery!

Viper agents: (chorus) "Hooray!"

*Later, that same day!*
Viper Agent with dented helmet: "Hurry! We must Flee! Nighthawk and Kinetic are in pursuit, and Knighthawk looks disgruntled! I hope he does not realize that I am the twin brother of the roommate of the guy who went to High School with the man who disfigured him!" *Wonders if anyone else notices his dented helmet*

VIPER Agent with the nonworking gun: "We shall escape in the Aqua-Gecko! Nothing can stop us!" *Tries once again to figure out how to fire his gun, while not admitting to his friends it does not work*

Viper Agent with the a CD player instead of radio in his armor: We are out of here! *Note This agent is unable to hear the other agents unless they are close, as he is listening to his tunes*

*VIPER agents fasten seatbelts. Aqua-Gecko roars off the dock, into the river, and zooms away at high speed. As it roars down the river, its deployed propeller spinning madly, it slowly sinks into the water*

Kinetic: "They are getting away! With all the bank money!"

Nighthawk: "Never fear, old chum. I received a tip from my contact within VIPER that the heist was underway...and had them replace all the money with Monopoly Money

Kinetic: Great thinking KH! the only thing those Green Goose steppers will be able to buy is Boardwalk and Park Place!"

*Aqua-Gecko vanishes under the water, a large amount of air bubbles surface for several minutes. Then, the autopilot kicks in, and returns the vehicle to base*

VIPER Nest Leader: "Ah, the mission has been a success!" *Opens up the returned aqua-Gecko, pulls the bag with the dollar sign on it from the dead, clammy fist of 'VIPER Agent with the nonworking gun'* Curses! These fools must have robbed the Parker Brothers bank repository, instead of the Federal Reserve!"

VIPER Nest Leader: *Addresses new VIPER trainees* "You three, you are now on full pay. You get complete dental coverage, and health benefits, if you qualify"

VIPER Trainee #1: "What exactly are health benefits? Do I get time off for my bad back?"

VIPER Nest Leader: "Its a point system...it will all be explained in your orientation, should you qualify. In this nest, you also get a percentage of any loot liberated from our enemies. [/i]*Looks meaningfully at the three dead VIPER agents in the aqua-Gecko* "These three were conducting an unsanctioned mission...which is why they are now dead. I used my 'Secret Superpower' to slay them when they betrayed VIPER."

Viper Trainees: (chorus) "Ooooo..." *Wonder if there is any defense from the Nest Leaders 'Secret Superpower'*

VIPER Nest Leader: "In the meantime, get some mops and body bags...your trainee duties aren't done until this Gecko...I mean Aqua-Gecko is spotless!"

VIPER Trainee #2: "I never thought I would get a mission on my first day!"

VIPER Trainee #3: "Oooo....Check out this cool helmet, with the fashionable indentation in it...its differenct from the others...must be a squad commander helmet!"

[Lightray]

I'm now imaginging an up-and-coming Viper hopeful trying to advance his career by encouraging the Nest Leader to "escape" underwater, by Viper Gecko.

Days later, the Viper Gecko motors out of the other side of the lake. With the dead, waterlogged Nest Leader inside.

So much for hiding the evidence.

Hey, it's got no Life Support, but that 4" Swimming is going to keep going until it runs into something, right?

[Hermit]

Those budget cuts are murder.

[BobGreenwade]

Originally posted by Hermit
Those budget cuts are murder.

So is Lightray's plan.

[Lightray]

Originally posted by BobGreenwade
So is Lightray's plan.

Hush, you.



Alas, my evil plans will come to naught. I just noticed that the Aqua-Gecko also does not have a Continuing Fuel Charge on its Swimming. So it won't get very far, at all.

Therefore I've ordered our entire fleet of Geckos to be sold to CLOWN.

So if you see a car drive up out of the water, the door opens, water cascades down (along with a few wriggling fish), and see a big floppy clown shoe stepping out -- run like the wind!

... Who knows how many of 'em that could be in there?

[Ben Seeman]

Originally posted by Lightray
So, the fleeing Cobra division agents who drive their small submersible car into the lake, hoping to escape pursuing superheroes... will need to be hauled out of their flooded and waterlogged car. Unless they thought to bring along SCUBA gear.

How did a Cobra agents get their hands on a Viper sub?

[Lightray]

Originally posted by Ben Seeman
How did a Cobra agents get their hands on a Viper sub?

Originally posted by Lightray
Therefore I've ordered our entire fleet of Geckos to be sold to CLOWN.

The resale market is white-hot on our Geckos and they are priced to SELL!
No Cobra Commander should be without his own personal escape sub/car. *


* Underwater breathing option not included.


(oooh, looky. only 10 more posts of Viper silliness and I break 100!)