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Bizarre Spell Ideas


Michael Hopcroft

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How to write up certain spells that might appear in the Grimoires of FH mages whose players have missed several days worth of their medication.

 

Rain of Cows: "It's raining cows! Hallelujah!" This spell causes a downpour of (temporarily) live cattle over the area of its effect. The effect of having one of them land on you is the same as it would be had a cow fallen on you from several thousand feet in the air under normal circumstances. The cows are real, and do not go away at the end of the spell's duration, although you probably don't know where they came from in the first place (or want to).

 

Scissors beats paper AND rock: using energy from the Elemental Plane of Sharpness, you can temporarily enchant any blade to make it cut through any desired material other than flesh as though the obstacle wasn't even there. However, it cannot penetrate any form of living flesh (it can cut through a steak, but not a live cow), thus severely reducing its utility as a weapon.

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Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

Scissors beats paper AND rock: using energy from the Elemental Plane of Sharpness' date=' you can temporarily enchant any blade to make it cut through any desired material [i']other than flesh[/i] as though the obstacle wasn't even there. However, it cannot penetrate any form of living flesh (it can cut through a steak, but not a live cow), thus severely reducing its utility as a weapon.

 

Scissors beats paper AND rock: No Normal Defense (Defense is Being made primarially of Living Tissue; +1/2), Does BODY (+1) for up to 60 Active Points of Bladed Weapons, Variable Effect (any Bladed Weapon power one at a time; +1/4), Usable By Other (+1/4), Lingering up to 1 Minute (+3/4) (202 Active Points); Extra Time (1 Turn (Post-Segment 12), -1 1/4), OAF (Weapon This Spell Effects; -1), Gestures, Requires Gestures throughout (Requires both hands; Broad, sweeping, scissoring motions with the blade and your other hand; -1), Concentration, Must Concentrate throughout use of Constant Power (0 DCV; Must Concentrate on the phrase "One Musn't Run With Scissors"; -1), Incantations (Requires Incantations throughout; I call to thee oh Elemental Plane of Sharpness to endow my blade with the virtue of the most holy of Scissors!; -1/2)

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Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

Detect Lie

In a 1 kilometer radius the mage is able to detect anybody lieing at all. Whether it is on a bed, on the ground, beneath the covers or not.

 

Sleep

Can be used in conjuction with the above spell. Great for insomniac mages. The incantation usually involves numbers and sheep. May require an OAF of "bed"

 

Blazing Saddles

The ideal spell to stop pursuing cavalry.

 

Cattletrops

Similar to caltrops, but larger and more bovine. Far less offensive than the Dominion Tank Police version of the Ultimate Deterrant - but the summoned cows find it rude.

Another good spell to stop pursuit.

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Scissors beats paper AND rock: No Normal Defense (Defense is Being made primarially of Living Tissue; +1/2)' date=' Does BODY (+1) for up to 60 Active Points of Bladed Weapons, Variable Effect (any Bladed Weapon power one at a time; +1/4), Usable By Other (+1/4), Lingering up to 1 Minute (+3/4) (202 Active Points); Extra Time (1 Turn (Post-Segment 12), -1 1/4), OAF (Weapon This Spell Effects; -1), Gestures, Requires Gestures throughout (Requires both hands; Broad, sweeping, scissoring motions with the blade and your other hand; -1), Concentration, Must Concentrate throughout use of Constant Power (0 DCV; Must Concentrate on the phrase "One Musn't Run With Scissors"; -1), Incantations (Requires Incantations throughout; I call to thee oh Elemental Plane of Sharpness to endow my blade with the virtue of the most holy of Scissors!; -1/2)[/quote']

I should note that, despite the silly name, this spell can be of great utility in a wide variety of circumstances, from getting out of a locked room when all you have is a pocketknife to dealing with pesky knots of the Gordian variety to destroying The Cursed Stone of Klott that nothing else has been able to penetrate.

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Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

How to write up certain spells that might appear in the Grimoires of FH mages whose players have missed several days worth of their medication.

 

Rain of Cows: "It's raining cows! Hallelujah!" This spell causes a downpour of (temporarily) live cattle over the area of its effect. The effect of having one of them land on you is the same as it would be had a cow fallen on you from several thousand feet in the air under normal circumstances. The cows are real, and do not go away at the end of the spell's duration, although you probably don't know where they came from in the first place (or want to).

 

Scissors beats paper AND rock: using energy from the Elemental Plane of Sharpness, you can temporarily enchant any blade to make it cut through any desired material other than flesh as though the obstacle wasn't even there. However, it cannot penetrate any form of living flesh (it can cut through a steak, but not a live cow), thus severely reducing its utility as a weapon.

 

 

Note: Rock is the best, it beats scissors and paper. Throw a rock through a piece of paper you'll see what I mean. ;)

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Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

WTF

WTFOMG

WTFOMGLOL

A set of progressively-more-powerful SPD Drains, one turn only, causing targets (in effect) to lose one, two, or three Phases. Requires the caster to fail a Presence roll. Most often uses an OAF, often expendable.

 

The ultimate form is WTFOMGROFLMAO and can last multiple turns, but it almost always has a major Side Effect.

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Trivial Pursuit

A detection sense enhancement spell. Useful for finding a particual person or object. However the way the effect manifests is similar to large amounts of Luck. The object/person looked for will just happen to be in the same store, or be tripped over in the street. When the caster is desperately looking for the keys to the drawbridge, if she just sits down somewhere randomly and glances in a random direction, giving up all hope of ever finding the keys again, her eyes will just happen to fall on the location of the keys. Either that or she's sat on them. Or placed her hand on them accidentally.

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Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

#$@! You and the Horse You Rode In On

 

This spell invokes one or two amorphous but very, ahem, friendly spirits which will engage the target (and his/her horse, if available) in some highly inappropriate physical contact.

 

I think it might be an EGO-based Entangle maybe?

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#$@! You and the Horse You Rode In On

 

This spell invokes one or two amorphous but very, ahem, friendly spirits which will engage the target (and his/her horse, if available) in some highly inappropriate physical contact.

 

I think it might be an EGO-based Entangle maybe?

Damn You and the Horse You Rode In On!: Opens up a portal to Hell, through which both your foe and his mount are dragged for eternal torment beyond the power of mortals to imagine (the foe scraming hideous blasphemies, no doubt, and the hrose whinneying in panic, saying the Equine for "What did IIIIIIII DO?").

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Never-Ending Summon: This spell summons 1,073,741,824 critters. The spell is unfortuately cheaper than one would think, since it will takes 25 years to summon all of them, but still produces roughly 16 1/3 per Turn.

 

Unfortuately the caster had a heart attack and died, but his spell still produces those annoying small blue creatures.

 

Summon 50 point smurf-like critters, 30 doublings (1,073,741,824), 160 Active Points, Independent (-2), Gradual Effect: 25 Years (-3 1/4), Extreme Side Effect always occurs (-2), 1 Charge that takes a Year to Recover (-3), Takes a month of research before casting (-5) 9 Real Points

 

:help:

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Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

My ears are burning

A detection spell gone wrong. Possibly a miswording, or possibly just an overenthusiastic magic student went a bit too far.

Whenever anyone in the world starts talking about the target of this spell, their ears spontaneously combust.

If cast on dragons or demons, then they must have their true name specifically mentioned.

 

Curse of the Fatal Death

An anti-resurrection spell. Used by paranoid mages, or cast on people that they really, really, want dead. A triggered RKA of 10d6 damage NND does body. The trigger being when the target dies. The body is completely atomised. Some mages even go so far as to add a Change Environment to blow those molecules and atoms and disperse them in the wind.

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Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

I hadn't thought about it as an offensive thing with the speaker's ears combusting - that is a cute idea! I was just thinking of the proverb where the target's ears are burning when someone talks about them. Probably some form of curse.

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Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

Bigby's Crushing Familiar---The caster gets a new familiar: a rhino!

 

Find Evil---Evil finds you at the same time, if not a little earlier. Incantation is "Here bad guys! Come right here, I'll take you on; I'll take all of you on!"

 

Protection From Flesh---All flesh near the caster is thrust violently away; starting from the caster's bones outward!

 

Stone To Weapon---Involves the Gestures of picking up the stone and hitting something with it.

 

Enchanted Dead---The caster gains the ability to be incredibly charming, interesting, and attraactive to dead things. Not undead, dead.

 

Speak With Hand---The caster becomes master of all rude gestures.

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They'll Stone Ya When You're Trying To Be So Good: when cast in mass battle, pelts the side that is morally better (by whatever objective measure the GM finds appopriate) with a rain of rocks.

 

They'll Stone Ya Just Like They Said They Would: A rain of rocks falls on the target of the spell at some random point of time in the future, after the departure of the caster. Requires a long pronouncement of intent.

 

They'll Stone Ya When You're Trying To Go Home: At some point in time after the adventure, when the target is returning to their base of operations, they get pelted with a rain of rocks.

 

They'll Stone Ya when You're There All Alone: At some point in time in the future, when the target is in what he believes to be a "safe" location and there is nobody within visual range, he will be pelted with a rain of rocks (even if indoors).

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Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

Protection from Air, 10 Foot Radius

The ramifications of this spell was not realized by the first mage who thought he needed this spell. Change Enviroment: no air in a 10 foot radius. Anybody who does not get out of the area takes 3 BODY damage/phase. Note that two minutes under this spell will kill just about anything that needs air to breathe, especially the caster.

 

Bigby's Erotic Hands

Bigby's obsession with hand-based spells had caused great controversy late in his life as he learned that skill (Fine manipulation) rather than size was important. :rolleyes:

5 STR TK, Fine manipulation (+5 to give a total 18 or less)

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Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

Every consider the possibilities of a spell simply called:

 

Trip

 

1. Causes target to fall down

 

2. Causes target to leave on a vacation (or be teleported to some exotic vacation spot)

 

3. Causes target to behave as if he'd just dropped bad acid

 

Then you'd have:

 

The Ultimate Trip

 

What happens when you make judicious use of Linked to tie all three together in some strange order. Like: The target gets high, falls down, and comes to in Disneyland.

 

David

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