Michael Hopcroft Posted February 15, 2018 Report Share Posted February 15, 2018 On 2/13/2018 at 7:35 PM, Asperion said: A: We have a special for you - buy three and get two. Q: I want to share my bounty with the world, so can I donate one of the things I'm buying to charity? A: Pants! You need to start wearing pants! I'll even buy you a pair if you don't own any! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted February 15, 2018 Report Share Posted February 15, 2018 1 hour ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: Pants! You need to start wearing pants! I'll even buy you a pair if you don't own any! Q: What were you yelling at Enforcer about? A: Lack of sleep Lucius Alexander Unquestionably a palindromedary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 15, 2018 Report Share Posted February 15, 2018 23 minutes ago, Lucius said: A: Lack of sleep Q: And what makes you think you have a baby in the house? A: Oh, right. I keep melting them all! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted February 15, 2018 Report Share Posted February 15, 2018 22 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: And what makes you think you have a baby in the house? A: Oh, right. I keep melting them all! Q: How do you keep losing rings ever since moving near a volcano? A: Pull my finger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 15, 2018 Report Share Posted February 15, 2018 1 hour ago, tkdguy said: A: Pull my finger. Q: Do you really have detachable digits? A: The Greatest Show on Ceti Alpha V! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 16, 2018 Report Share Posted February 16, 2018 18 hours ago, Pariah said: A: The Greatest Show on Ceti Alpha V! Q: What makes you think Star Trek II: The Wrath of Barnum will be a success? A: When I said I wanted to make a "cult classic". I didn't mean for the term to be taken so literally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcus Impudite Posted February 16, 2018 Report Share Posted February 16, 2018 43 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: What makes you think Star Trek II: The Wrath of Barnum will be a success? A: When I said I wanted to make a "cult classic". I didn't mean for the term to be taken so literally. Q: Okay we got the cameras set up and ready to roll, and everything we need to summon Cthulhu. What? What's wrong? A: The only way that could've been an easier headshot is if the muzzle of your rifle was right up against his nose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 17, 2018 Report Share Posted February 17, 2018 On 2/15/2018 at 7:29 PM, Marcus Impudite said: A: The only way that could've been an easier headshot is if the muzzle of your rifle was right up against his nose. Q: Somehow I imagined Goliath to be a bigger threat. See how I got him with my sniper rifle? A: I take cash, credit, Paypal, and human flesh (by the pound). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 17, 2018 Report Share Posted February 17, 2018 11 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: I take cash, credit, Paypal, and human flesh (by the pound). Q: You saved us from those awful Conquistadores, Mr. Huitzilopochtli! How can we ever repay you? A: Here is your Deep One Kit(TM), and thank you for your patronage. Michael Hopcroft 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 17, 2018 Report Share Posted February 17, 2018 1 hour ago, Cancer said: A: Here is your Deep One Kit(TM), and thank you for your patronage. Q: Thanks for helping us move to our new house in Innsmouth. Is that a present for us? A: Anything worth having is worth making some sacrifices for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 18, 2018 Report Share Posted February 18, 2018 14 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: Anything worth having is worth making some sacrifices for. Q: So between lecture time, study time, and a job to pay for it all, college is going to require me to work on a 27 hour day. Plus an hour or two for sleep here and there, if I'm fortunate. A: I don't think anyone knows that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 18, 2018 Report Share Posted February 18, 2018 2 hours ago, Pariah said: A: I don't think anyone knows that. Q: Why does the Porridge Bird lay his egg in the air? A: She's as approachable as a Polar Bear, and just as safe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted February 20, 2018 Report Share Posted February 20, 2018 On 2/18/2018 at 9:43 AM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: Why does the Porridge Bird lay his egg in the air? A: She's as approachable as a Polar Bear, and just as safe. Q: Why do you always bring out that bazooka whenever she appears? A: Don't tell the CIA, they might just start doing it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 20, 2018 Report Share Posted February 20, 2018 7 hours ago, Asperion said: A: Don't tell the CIA, they might just start doing it. Q: So I told the guy, "I don't care if you're from the NSA, I'm not telling you about my love life. Mind your own business!" A: Mathematically speaking, a cow can be approximated as a cylinder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 20, 2018 Report Share Posted February 20, 2018 2 hours ago, Pariah said: A: Mathematically speaking, a cow can be approximated as a cylinder. Q: Why are you trying to hammer cattle down into hols on the groundm into which they don't really fit? A: I'll announce the winner on the radio! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 20, 2018 Report Share Posted February 20, 2018 35 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: I'll announce the winner on the radio! Q: How will I know if my band's cover of "Video Killed the Radio Star" has won the contest? A: Fusion-powered locomotives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 21, 2018 Report Share Posted February 21, 2018 9 hours ago, Pariah said: A: Fusion-powered locomotives. Q: "Interplanetary Rails"?!? How exactly is that supposed to work? A: Asteroidal cow-catcher. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 21, 2018 Report Share Posted February 21, 2018 19 hours ago, Cancer said: A: Asteroidal cow-catcher. Q: Quick! Call someone! The Space Cattle are stempeding! A: One shot, one pill. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 24, 2018 Report Share Posted February 24, 2018 Anyone? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 25, 2018 Report Share Posted February 25, 2018 On February 21, 2018 at 12:33 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: A: One shot, one pill. Q: What goes in the George Thoroughgood song with "One Snort"? A: Substance abuse: it's not just for breakfast any more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 25, 2018 Report Share Posted February 25, 2018 12 hours ago, Cancer said: A: Substance abuse: it's not just for breakfast any more. Q: It's ten in the evening, and you should be in bed, so why are you ordering a double espresso? A: You went to the movies? Damned! You're all damned! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 27, 2018 Report Share Posted February 27, 2018 On February 25, 2018 at 10:41 AM, Michael Hopcroft said: A: You went to the movies? Damned! You're all damned! Q: Reverend Schisthead! You know what they said about you during the trailer for Oklahoma Feudal? A: Yeah, they'll shoot us on sight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 27, 2018 Report Share Posted February 27, 2018 15 hours ago, Cancer said: A: Yeah, they'll shoot us on sight. Q: Wait, the Canadians are blaming us for the Olympic Athletes from Russia winning the gold medal in men's ice hockey? A: Not to be confused with actual music, of course. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 27, 2018 Report Share Posted February 27, 2018 3 hours ago, Pariah said: A: Not to be confused with actual music, of course. Q: Billy and Vanessa are really into Techno, aren't they? A: If you use puns, seek professional help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 6, 2018 Report Share Posted March 6, 2018 Bump! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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