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Steve

Darkwing Duck Style Intros

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A few times when I've run street level crimefighting campaigns, I've heard a few of these quotes from players as intros when they arrive on scene and the players aren't quite in the right grimly serious moods for their characters. Here are some of the more humorous examples I recall.

 

"Beware evildoers, for I am the crabgrass in the lawn of crime."

 

"Fear me. I am the parking meter that won't take your coins."

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You can paraphrase one from Bored of the Rings: "I am here to lance your evil carbuncle of evil before you can complete your loathesome squeeze play!"

 

"I will sift your stone of corruption from the flour of society before it gets baked into the cake of justice!"

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"I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the deadlock of the Congress of Crime! I am Darkwing Duck!

 

"I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the cover on the spitoon of crime! I am Darkwing Duck!"

 

"I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the mold on the bread of crime! I am Darkwing Duck!

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I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the odor eater in crime's limburger factory! I am Darkwing Duck!

 

I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the breeze in the dead air of crime! I am Darkwing Duck!

 

I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the spaying of crime's adopted pet! I am Darkwing Duck!

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I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the gum stuck to crime's shoes! I. Am. Darkwing-Duck!

I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the wedgie in the shorts of crime! I. Am. Darkwing-Duck!

I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the food caught in crime's teeth! I. Am. Darkwing-Duck!

I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the flashlight in the dark den of crime! I. Am. Darkwing-Duck!

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i am the TERROR who FLAPS in the night

I am the STALE CREAMER in your COFFEE of crime

I am DARKWING DUCK

and speaking of ducks

 

I am the TERROR who FLAPS in the night

I am the DANDUFF in the BEARD of  crime

I am DARKWING DUCK

 

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I am the terror, that flaps in the night,

I am...on fire! OH GOD! PUT IT OUT!

 

I am the terror that flaps in the night,

I am the bacon grease on the cereal spoon of crime!

I am Darkwing Duck!

 

I am the terror that flaps in the night!

I am the giant green spot on the potato chip of crime!

I am Darkwing Duck!

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I AM THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT,I AM THE LIGHTNING BOLT THAT STRIKES AT THE SPIRES OF CRIME

I AM DARKWING DUCK!

 

I AM THE HORROR THAT SOARS IN THE NIGHT!

I AM THE SOURCE OF EVERY CRIMINAL'S NIGHTMARES

I AM DARKWING DUCK!

 

I AM THE TERROR WHO FLAPS IN THE NIGHT!

I AM THE HURRICANE THAT DESTROYS THE CITADELS OF EVIL!

I AM DARKWING DUCK!

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I am the terror that flaps in the night!

I am the soap that washes out the dirty mouth of crime!

I am Darkwing Duck!

 

I am the terror that flaps in the night!

I am the monkey that flings poo at crime!

I am Darkwing Duck!

 

I am the terror that flaps in the night!

I am the wedgie in crime's last pair of underwear!

I am Darkwing Duck!

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I am the terror that flaps in the night!

I am the mold on the cheeseburger bun of crime!

I am Darkwing Duck!

 

I am the terror that flaps in the night!

I am the full price item in the two for one sale of crime!

I am Darkwing Duck!

 

I am the terror that flaps in the night

I am the form request form that lurks in crime's desk!

I am Darkwing Duck!

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I am the terror that flaps in the night!

I am the letter announcing to crime that the bill for justice is past due!

I am Darkwing Duck!

 

I am the terror that flaps in the night!

I am the, "404" error crime gets when searching for mercy!

I am Darkwing Duck!

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