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How safe is your Neighborhood from Zombies, Ghosts, and Vampires?


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So with it being October, the realty site my wife gets emails from sent us a link to the following:

 

http://www.trulia.com/local/64735/type:zombie_risk_unnaturalHazards

 

Apparently it is a modded Environmental Risk program (normally for fire, flood, etc) that has Zombie Infestation, Ghost Sighting, and Vampire Hunting Grounds as special filters. I thought someone here might get some use out of it until they take it down.

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Thanks for sharing.

 

I'm in an area that's middle-of-the-road for ghost sightings, but we've been quarantined for zombie attacks. Unfortunately, everyone I'm quarantined with is likely a vampire waiting for a chance to bite me. On the plus side, the crime rate's low--probably because of all the zombies and vampires!

 

:angst:

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windows are up 8' from the ground at least
when I said a fortress, I meant a fortess

The problem with churches, IMO, is that they typically have stone work facades and those large stained-glass windows are difficult to board up.

 

Unless it is an old Mission with tiny windows.

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A handful of zombies isn't a problem. It's when you have a full Apocalypse that you are well and truly f***ed. Best way to do that? make a lot of noise. You'll pull every zombie in hearing range straight towards you.

 

Herd of Cows

Murder of Crows

Plague of Rats

Apocalypse of Zombies

 

Best way to deal with a full Apocalypse of Zombies? Farmer's combine with the blade set to just a few inches off of the ground. Pull all your Zed-heads into a wide open area and mow them down with Combines in a Chevron Formation. Afterwards, use bulldozers to pile all of the bodies into a dug-out pit and apply kerosine and fire liberally.

 

Yes. I have thought about this extensively. My job as a baker leaves me with lots to and little to think about, so I can think about whatever I want and still be productive.

 

And I'm fracking nuts :ugly::stupid:

 

Though I'm surprised that no one has asked my three theories on how a Zombie Apocalypse could actually happen.

 

EDIT: And yes, I want someone to ask first. I'm trying not to (excessively) share my insanity with others unless they want me to.

Edited by BlueCloud2k2
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Technically it's the MHI board :P

 

Okay, bear in mind the following things:

 

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

Quantum Physics allows for multiple universes.

Magic may exist in another universe, but not in ours, and it is possible it could leak over.

 

Here we go (in order of least likely to most likely):

 

Theory #1: Magic leaking over from an alternate universe where magic does exist. Or assuming magic does exist in our universe but has 'high-tides' and 'low-tides' and is not presently at high tide but that could change.

Theory #2: Bio-Medical Nanotechnology to regenerate dead tissue that causes a corpse to animate and is spread through bodily fluid contact.

Theory #3: Aliens using Nanotechnology to reanimate corpses to clean us from the planet so they can settle it.

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