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The Advice Column


Starlord

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(No longer relevant, but it was true in the 1970s and 1980s)

 

An unbiased estimator for the amount of time needed to read a magnetic tape from another installation is: the amount of time needed to ship that tape back to its point of origin, plus three weeks.

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When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail."

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