Cancer Posted February 8, 2018 Author Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 If your day isn't done, stick it back on the grill for another five minutes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 8, 2018 Author Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 If you get something you did not expect, expectorate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 8, 2018 Author Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 Oh dear, the fortune writer has slipped his medications again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 8, 2018 Author Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 If meat is back on the menu, call the waiter and ask for a clean one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 8, 2018 Author Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 People who like a lot of structure in their lives all too often make structures others call prisons. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L. Marcus Posted February 8, 2018 Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 Trust the tranq gun -- the tranq gun is your friend. *phup* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TjackFlash Posted February 8, 2018 Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 Four different times in my life I've gotten the fortune, "Depart not from the path from which Fate has you assigned." Creepy phrasing and all. I've asked other people and no one ever said they got that one. I can't tell if either I'm in big trouble or in for something cool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TjackFlash Posted February 8, 2018 Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 Four different times in my life I've gotten the fortune, "Depart not from the path from which Fate has you assigned." Creepy phrasing and all. I've asked other people and no one ever said they got that one. I can't tell if either I'm in big trouble or in for something cool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TjackFlash Posted February 8, 2018 Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 Four different times in my life I've gotten the fortune, "Depart not from the path from which Fate has you assigned." Creepy phrasing and all. I've asked other people and no one ever said they got that one. I can't tell if either I'm in big trouble or in for something cool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 8, 2018 Author Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 OT: Are you sure it isn't Groundhog Day? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted February 8, 2018 Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 8 hours ago, TjackFlash said: Four different times in my life I've gotten the fortune, "Depart not from the path from which Fate has you assigned." Creepy phrasing and all. I've asked other people and no one ever said they got that one. I can't tell if either I'm in big trouble or in for something cool. It sounds like you're in big trouble if you have departed from the path from which Fate has you assigned. Lucius Alexander The palindromedary notes that we have not played Fate yet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 8, 2018 Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 The brave man likes the feel of nature upon his face, but the wise man has the sense to come in from the rain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassandra Posted February 8, 2018 Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 That's the way the cookie crumbles Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 8, 2018 Author Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 If you have a question, and you expect a certain answer, and you want it NOW, chances are you just want a cheap oracle to give you the answer you want. Just remember after you do it that blaming your mistakes on a fortune cookie isn't gonna work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassandra Posted February 8, 2018 Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 Your friends are laughing at you behind your back Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted February 8, 2018 Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 In theory there is no difference between theory and practice, but in practice, there is. pinecone, Pariah and Cancer 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 9, 2018 Report Share Posted February 9, 2018 Don't. You're too young to experience that much pain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 11, 2018 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2018 The Grand Banks are not a good place to leave your money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 11, 2018 Report Share Posted February 11, 2018 Once is a data point. Twice may be coincidence. Three times is a trend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted February 11, 2018 Report Share Posted February 11, 2018 On 2/7/2018 at 11:35 PM, TjackFlash said: Four different times in my life I've gotten the fortune, "Depart not from the path from which Fate has you assigned." Creepy phrasing and all. I've asked other people and no one ever said they got that one. I can't tell if either I'm in big trouble or in for something cool. 4 hours ago, Pariah said: Once is a data point. Twice may be coincidence. Three times is a trend. Lucius Alexander four times is as good an excuse as any for a palindromedary tagline Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 11, 2018 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2018 Creepy would be if it included the line, "It is your destiny." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermit Posted February 13, 2018 Report Share Posted February 13, 2018 "Your mission, should you choose to accept i.. I'm sorry, this is the wrong table. Could you please put this back and place it on the table to your left?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
massey Posted February 13, 2018 Report Share Posted February 13, 2018 Once when my younger sister was in high school, the family went out to eat at a Chinese restaurant. For whatever reason, my sister was in quite a mood. Halfway through the meal she stormed out, only to come back in and yell at us that we better bring her fortune cookie home. Having brought her own car, she left. When the fortune cookies arrived, one of them was slightly open so you could see the paper. I pocketed in and took it to my parents' house. I very carefully peeled open the plastic packaging, then slid the little strip of paper out and examined it. Going to their computer and printer, I matched the font and the point size, printed out a fortune of my own, snipped the paper to fit, and carefully inserted it into the cookie. The cookie went back in the plastic wrapper (though it was still open). When my sister got home about an hour later, she stormed in and demanded her fortune cookie. I pointed to the kitchen table, where a single cookie waited for her. She grabbed it, ripped apart the plastic package, and opened her cookie. Her eyes got wide and her jaw dropped open as she read the cryptic words. "You need to quit being such a huge bitch to your family." Old Man, Rails, Ternaugh and 4 others 3 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 13, 2018 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2018 When an oracle advises, "Look for the humor in the situation," you're about to take a pratfall. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 13, 2018 Report Share Posted February 13, 2018 "Murphy was an optimist." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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