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The Adventures of "Fish Guy" (Superhero fiction)

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#341 Hermit

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Posted 24 May 2017 - 02:58 PM

OK. Schedule is crazy and I'm going about 5 hours of sleep when I feel like I want 12 each night this week sooo...I don't have it done yet. Still, better to get a part in and keep this going than to sputter out at the end entirely.

 

It would have been nice to end things on a kiss. But this is the real world, a world not of kisses and closing curtains but one of flying men, undersea civilizations, six-inch tall men cursed by fairy magic and iguana people.

 

And that means the wrap up is full of paperwork, consequences, and complexity.  Mind you, superheroes have some insane short cuts. Case in point, it seemed like no sooner had Ariana and I gotten all the prisoners sedated in the medbay when word came in from Mabel the New Samartans had returned! Tornado had gotten groggily to his feet (An advantage of his high speed metabolism was his processing some drugs faster I suppose, though he was still shocky) and woke up even more when he learned his niece had been fighting the bad guys.

 

"You went toe to toe with a Purifier XI AND Valorous?' Tornado's voice slurred a bit drunkenly but was improving.

 

"And did not end up sedated," She countered in a calm cool tone, preparing to make her case, "So before you lecture me on how dangerous this is and so on, I want you to know I did what I had to do to protect a place I care about too and if there were other options, I might have tried them but there were not so…"

 

He held out one hand to forestall her, "Hey, it's okay. I actually do get it. I was trying to tell you 'good job'."

 

"Oh," Ariana looked sheepish, "Well, I had help."

 

"I think I was the one who needed help," I said with a smile to her, "That killbot pert near took my head off…"

 

"Wait, say that again?" He said.

 

"'Pert near took my head off'?" I repeated sighing as his eyes lit up in delight at the expression, "It's a legitimate expression, and you have an accent too. You know that, right?"

 

"Maybe in your part of the country I would," He smirked, "But here my way is the normal way to talk and you're the one with the accent," picking on me seemed to revive him a little. I'm not sure that spoke kindly of him, "Say something else folksy!"

 

"I will arrange a coming to Jesus meeting that has nothing to do with mass if you don't lay off the way I speak?" I gave him my most saccharine smile.

 

"Guy nearly gets his head shaved off by a killbot and he gets all cranky," Tornado sighed as if he were the victim here. 


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“I've looked at the world for quite a few years now and I've found that if I don't laugh, I'll probably end up crying."
- Prince Kheldar of Drasnia aka Silk

 

Meet the People of Campaign City

 

The Adventures of "Fish Guy"


#342 BoloOfEarth

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Posted 24 May 2017 - 03:26 PM

Nice start to the ending.

 

While I'm eager to see more, I'm okay with waiting a bit if that's what it takes.  It's more difficult to tie things together nicely, than to keep the action rolling.  I'd rather it end as first-class as it began.

 

Though I agree you don't want to sputter out just shy of the finish line.  So a few short vignettes to close things out works well.


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#343 Marcus Impudite

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Posted 25 May 2017 - 01:30 PM

All that remains is to deal with the agency that sent Vain-Gloryhound and his mooks...


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#344 aylwin13

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Posted 25 May 2017 - 02:36 PM

Shouldn't that be in the sequel?


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#345 BoloOfEarth

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Posted 25 May 2017 - 03:01 PM

All that remains is to deal with the agency that sent Vain-Gloryhound and his mooks...

 

I'd be interested in knowing what kind of "cost" there will be to Doctor Salem for getting Fish Guy back to the base in time to stop Valodorous.  I don't think that should wait for a sequel.


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"The Internet. It's like an idiot assembly plant." - Lawnmower Boy


#346 Marcus Impudite

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Posted 25 May 2017 - 06:39 PM

I'd be interested in knowing what kind of "cost" there will be to Doctor Salem for getting Fish Guy back to the base in time to stop Valodorous.  I don't think that should wait for a sequel.

Okay, that too.


Angels never look for demons in ice cream trucks - they're stupid that way.
(Thanks Klytus ;) )

No slushee. No burrito. No honor. (Thank you Vondy)

Long Live Hero 5th Edition! Long Live Comeliness! Long Live Figured Characteristics!

He who beats his sword into a plowshare will end up plowing for he who keeps his sword...

Don't Blame Me, I Voted For Aizen.

 

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#347 Marcus Impudite

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Posted 25 May 2017 - 06:48 PM

Shouldn't that be in the sequel?

When some James Clapper wannabes send their goons to raid your base while you and your teammates are out putting life and limb on the line to save the entire world from some eldritch abomination? Yes, I believe that calls for an immediate response; preferably one that puts the fear of God into them.


Angels never look for demons in ice cream trucks - they're stupid that way.
(Thanks Klytus ;) )

No slushee. No burrito. No honor. (Thank you Vondy)

Long Live Hero 5th Edition! Long Live Comeliness! Long Live Figured Characteristics!

He who beats his sword into a plowshare will end up plowing for he who keeps his sword...

Don't Blame Me, I Voted For Aizen.

 

Visit My Gaming Forum:

 

http://marcusimpudit...freeforums.net/


#348 aylwin13

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Posted 25 May 2017 - 07:32 PM

OK, when you put it that way.


Cloth shopping bags: the environmentally-friendly way to get your bottled water to your Hummer. - Comedian Heywood Banks

And speaking of Hummers: If you need a war vehicle to drive around town, maybe you need to work on your people skills. - Comedienne Karen Rontowski


#349 Iuz the Evil

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Posted 25 May 2017 - 10:06 PM

Shouldn't that be in the sequel?


SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL!
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#350 Rails

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Posted Yesterday, 03:23 AM

Fish Guy II, the Sealqueel?


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#351 Lucius

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Posted Yesterday, 06:05 AM

Fish Guy II, the Sealqueel?


The SEA-quel!

Lucius Alexander

The palindromedary asks, who will quell the sea?
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#352 BoloOfEarth

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Posted Yesterday, 06:16 AM

When some James Clapper wannabes send their goons to raid your base while you and your teammates are out putting life and limb on the line to save the entire world from some eldritch abomination? Yes, I believe that calls for an immediate response; preferably one that puts the fear of God into them.

 

While I agree, I think that portraying such a thing right would involve quite a bit of writing, and thus deserves it's own treatment.  I'm confident Hermit could, through descriptives and flashbacks, set up the situation such that the reader gets the full impact. 

 

Though a quick, immediate response (e.g. turning the goons over to the authorities with Channel 6 getting an exclusive interview to properly slam Valodorous and goons) could be portrayed in the epilogue.  Still, a more full response should be covered in a sequel.


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#353 Enforcer84

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Posted Yesterday, 10:49 AM

Hehe. There you go Hermit. You've opened a can of worms.


"Here's my favorite little fact. If anyone is ever described to you as a nutritionist, just be slightly wary, right? What they're saying may be perfectly true, but "nutritionist" isn't a protected term. Anyone can call themselves a nutritionist. "Dietician" is the legally protected term. "Dietician" is like "dentist", and "nutritionist" is like "tooth-i-ologist." - Dara O'Briain

 

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Project 2004:
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#354 Hermit

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Posted Yesterday, 11:14 AM

Some of you will be disappointed I suspect, but here's a bit more anyway . And no, it's not quite done.

 

As I fought the temptation to say, "I totally made out with your niece, dude" in my best beach bra accent, we moved on to find the incoming superheroes. Lady Obsidian had removed her helmet, though I could see a hair line crack in the faceplate. Given the woman's armor could generate forcefields that my best punches would have trouble getting through, I didn't want to think about what could tear through all that and still hurt the basic structure. Pinprick looks intact, but was in want of a shower looking like someone had let the dog drool all over their favorite action figure for an hour. Arctic Fox was, pardon the pun, as cool as ice as she was talking to Lady Obsidian filling her in. Honestly, I've seen people read off grocery lists with more emotion.

 

And they weren't alone, in addition to my remaining team mates, I saw three other figures.  Two of them were so close to each other that if you didn't know anything else about them, you could tell they were involved and happily so. Their costumes were alike, consisting of red and white. His had the Greek Psi symbol within an Eye shape logo (though it looked different from Viewpoint's) and hers had more white than red, with a logo up the side of an avian design. They didn't hold hands, but she seemed to have slipped close against him anytime he stopped moving. The third fellow was more off to the side, and he looked around with concern and frustration and his body language showed… was that disgust? His costume had a spiral like pattern spread throughout it, and he wore a full-face mask with glass lenses.

 

"Eel, I hear you've been busy," Lady Obsidian said sympathetically, her helmet cradled by her left arm, "Good work all, from what Mabel and Arctic Fox have told me."

 

"Yeah, well, you were right about Valorous," I said trying not to look at Fox as I said it, "Man, I can't believe the government would try this," I looked about at the wreckage still to be cleaned up, "Intruding into our homes, trying to steal tech like common crooks, and then having the nerve to say they're the good guys. Man, I cut them some slack, but right now, if I saw a government agent, especially some jackass in a cape, I would give him a piece of my mind. It's like a modern day 5th columnist movement."

 

I set my jaw.

 

Lady Obsidian sighed, "This is Hawkstrike and Mind's Eye. They decided to accompany us from the ocean to help us out when they heard our base was under assault," She gestured to the woman and man in the red and white outfits.

 

"Nice to meet you," Mind's Eye offered a hand and I shook it. He had a pretty good grip for a telepath.

 

"I've heard about you two," I said, "Nice work in Cape Benedict."

 

"Thank you," Hawkstrike smiled as I shook her hand. Hawkstrike was a martial artist, "It's not just us, Storm Child takes up the slack. He'd be here but our own town needed someone to stick around, and we figured, after the crisis here, we deserved a week in a nice hotel to celebrate."

 

"Two years Anniversary," Mind's Eye beamed at his wife. Hawkstrike smiled back adoringly. Just for a moment, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Arctic Fox stiffen as if she were bracing during a dental drill.

 

"Well, congratulations! I'm new here myself in Costa Sagrado or I'd suggest a classy place," I told them and turned to the third guy to take Fox's mind off the happy couple, "And you are?"

 

I offered my hand.

 

"This gentleman is the reason we were able to teleport back here so quickly," Lady Obsidian said, "This is Vortex…"

"Nice to meet you, Vortex," I smiled as he took my hand.

 

Lady Obsidian continued, "He's with the Star-Watch, a team of U.S. Government agents and superheroes."

 

A sinking feeling, not unlike the cables of the elevator you're in going far too slack too completely without warning hit me, "You're a…"

 

"Modern Day 5th columnist for Uncle Sam," Vortex said shaking my hand in a bit too energetic an arm pump, "Any other complaints you'd like me to take back to the team?"

 

"I…" I turned red.

 

"Size ten right?" Pinprick looked up and smirked. Ariana covered her mouth, Tornado didn't bother to cover his. Arctic Fox actually chuckled softly, and Lady Obsidian gave me that look a deacon gives you when you fart in church.

 

Well, I had thought God was on my side, but as the Earth refused to swallow me and spare me further embarrassment, I began to have doubts again. I can be fickle like that.

 

"I apologize, I…"

 

He waved me off, "It's okay. Given what you've been through, I can't blame you for going full on Libertarian for a while.  Operation Eagle Eye is, well, kind of intense, though I didn't think they'd ever try this."

 

"You're not with Operation Eagle Eye? As a Super?" I raised a brow.

 

"Different agency collaborates with us, but even among the Eye there are regional divisions and more politicking than you might believe," Vortex answered, "It gets ugly sometimes. But there are folks who work without," A nod of respect to Lady Obsidian, "And some of us who try to keep it on the straight and narrow from within," his face couldn't be seen, but I could somehow tell he was frowning as he looked about, "This offends me no less than it offends you. Though for some different reasons."

 

After putting my foot in my mouth once, I decided not to debate the finer points.

 

Only then did I noticed Lady Obsidian speaking softly to Mind's Eye.

 

He nodded, and he and Arctic Fox went off.

 

"Thank you again, Vortex," Lady Obsidian said, "If you need to rest up…"

 

 

"No no, my continued presence here would just be …" He searched for the word, "a complication. Besides there are others in the sea I should probably offer a ride to." A swirling, well, vortex, swarmed about him as he waved and was gone.


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“I've looked at the world for quite a few years now and I've found that if I don't laugh, I'll probably end up crying."
- Prince Kheldar of Drasnia aka Silk

 

Meet the People of Campaign City

 

The Adventures of "Fish Guy"


#355 Enforcer84

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Posted Yesterday, 11:46 AM

Nice. Drawing back the lens on the world, I like it.


"Here's my favorite little fact. If anyone is ever described to you as a nutritionist, just be slightly wary, right? What they're saying may be perfectly true, but "nutritionist" isn't a protected term. Anyone can call themselves a nutritionist. "Dietician" is the legally protected term. "Dietician" is like "dentist", and "nutritionist" is like "tooth-i-ologist." - Dara O'Briain

 

2014: Hero A Day, 10 Year Anniversary Thread.
2009: Else Earth Gods of Olympus
Project 2006:
DC/Marvel Write up compilation
Project 2004:
Hero A Day Thread


#356 Marcus Impudite

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Posted Yesterday, 06:17 PM

While I agree, I think that portraying such a thing right would involve quite a bit of writing, and thus deserves it's own treatment.  I'm confident Hermit could, through descriptives and flashbacks, set up the situation such that the reader gets the full impact. 

 

Though a quick, immediate response (e.g. turning the goons over to the authorities with Channel 6 getting an exclusive interview to properly slam Valodorous and goons) could be portrayed in the epilogue.  Still, a more full response should be covered in a sequel.

Fair enough. I'm confident Vain-Gloryhound's name will be mud in the superhero community after word gets around about what he did.


Angels never look for demons in ice cream trucks - they're stupid that way.
(Thanks Klytus ;) )

No slushee. No burrito. No honor. (Thank you Vondy)

Long Live Hero 5th Edition! Long Live Comeliness! Long Live Figured Characteristics!

He who beats his sword into a plowshare will end up plowing for he who keeps his sword...

Don't Blame Me, I Voted For Aizen.

 

Visit My Gaming Forum:

 

http://marcusimpudit...freeforums.net/


#357 BoloOfEarth

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Posted Yesterday, 06:32 PM

Some of you will be disappointed I suspect, but here's a bit more anyway . And no, it's not quite done.

 

Not at all disappointed thus far.  And to clarify, I don't expect you to include anything I've mentioned, nor the things others have mentioned.  I'm pretty comfortable with trusting that however you tie things up to your satisfaction will also be satisfactory to us.

 

For instance, I didn't expect the interaction with Vortex, but it worked well to illustrate that things are much more complex than government = bad.  As I've said before, the 3-dimensional nature of your writing is part of its charm. 

 

(And don't forget, there's something to be said for leaving the reader wanting a little bit more.)


"Sometimes getting PCs together is like herding kittens...nuclear powered kittens at that." - phoenix240

"The Internet. It's like an idiot assembly plant." - Lawnmower Boy






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