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Asperion

I challenge you!

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Tacos pretty much got one gear: spicy.  Chinese can be spicy, sweet, and sour.  Also, Chinese knows kung-fu.  Chinese wins.

 

The Idiocratic candidate vs the head of the Strangelove party, settling things without benefit of the electoral college but still inside the bounds of satire...

 

President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho vs President Merkin Muffley

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The Idiocratic candidate vs the head of the Strangelove party, settling things without benefit of the electoral college but still inside the bounds of satire...

 

President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho vs President Merkin Muffley

 

President Merkin Muffley.  It sounds fun just  to say it.  Merkin.  Muffley.

 

Champions villains time!

Grond vs. a Grond's weight in psionic spider monkeys.

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President Merkin Muffley.  It sounds fun just  to say it.  Merkin.  Muffley.

 

Champions villains time!

Grond vs. a Grond's weight in psionic spider monkeys.

Are psionic spider monkeys edible?  Grond.

 

We move from Psionic to Psychedelia... Who has the warped perspective to win brush-to-pencil combat...

 

Salvador Dali vs MC Escher

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Gonna go with the rebooted Conan.  Momoa was a far better Conan than Schwarzenegger, even if his movie was not nearly as well written or produced.  I like SLJ, but rebooted Fury is just SLJ, and is a relatively minor character besides.

 

 

Next up:

 

Schadenfreude vs. Sehnsucht

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The MCU wins because Cap.

 

Rope a Dope ! (They can only use a rope)

 

The Rawhide Kid vs Wonder Woman 

Well, if Kid Colt or Etta Candy were there, it'd be a contest, but, as is, the bi-girl has such an obvious advantage that. . . 

 

Wait, were we still talking about fighting? Well, in that case, Wonder Woman, again.

 

Oh: Contest: Zap Brannigan versus Darth Vader. T Officially Licensed Representative of the Forces of Good against the guy with the laser sword. 

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I give this one to Zap Brannigan--the only guy in the universe annoying enough to make Anakin Skywalker want to commit seppuku.

 

Astronomy Showdown: Carl Sagan vs. Neil deGrasse Tyson!

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I give this one to Vandal Savage due to the Kingdom Come books. He broke a secretary's neck over incorrect sugar in his tea. Now that is ruthless.

 

Battle of the immorals (inspired by the above)

 

Kingpin vs Lex Luthor

 

(no physical combat and that does involve throwing tables, desks at each other. Also no use of minions).

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In a battle of subtlety and maneuver, I give the edge to Luthor due to having a larger fortune higher tech base for more and better resources.

 

The ultimate martial arts showdown:

 

Karate Kid (Legion of Super Heroes) vs Shang Chi

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Both get distracted by the creamy snack you'd be crazy to say no too and forget there's a fight going on...

so winner is golden sponge cake snack with cream center!

 

Zorro vs the Lone Ranger

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Barry sacrifices his life to stop RF. RF kills himself upon realizing his entire reason for existence just disappeared. Winner: Wally West

 

Battle of the commanding officers: Grand Admiral Thrawn vs General Hammond of the SGC.

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