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Valerian - missing some story pieces (likely Spoilers)


Christopher

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So, I just watched Valerian. And I do not know if it was a bad translation or those scenes landed on the cutting room, but I feel like I am missing a lot of Information to fully understand the Film.

It was like I was reading a comic, but the Author Information boxes were missing. As if I am reading a comic like this, but can not 'hear' the Narator: http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2003-03-09

 

 

The pieces I am missing:

1. The Great Market. They said it is in another Dimension. But the way they represented it, it was more like a virtual reality. To use Shadowrun Terms: The glasses and gloves are "using VR". While the boxes are "Jacking into the Martix" (more effect but also more danger). And the "Transmission boxes" could work like Transporters.

But how it worked in the end was more like "Phase Shifted" paralell reality.

2. Why is that Market anotehr Dimension? Legal reasons? What happens if there is a ground in the other reality, but not the normal one? What happens in the opposite case? How does Gravity work?

3. what about those Black Robots? Where do they come from? Are they sentient? They seem extremly obidient to whoever is their commander.

4. that powerarmor. It can run through walls. But they did not use it at any time after that scene, in particular no fight. Also Laureline did not use it at any time. Why? Is the powersource the ship? Is it somehow limited?

5. that ship in the end, is it using the Dimension tech to make a "Tardis Planet"? What happens if the ship is destroyed? Or are the just living on a small Holodeck, with only the appereance of a outside world. While the inside is still as smal as it ever was?

6. what about that war in the past? Who were they fighting? Why were they fighting? Why use weapons like that near a habitated planet, aside from casualties?

7. What is the legal situation on Alpha? Are alien sections "Independant Soil"? They mentioned "international incident" quite a few times.

8. As I understand it, Identity is confirmed primarily by transmitting ones DNA Code as voice and video manipulation technology is propably too far advanced?

9. What about that "Squall hat" that Laureline put on to find a clue? How do they know stuff that happened off the grid? Telepathy? Are they part of the computer and surveilance systems on Alpha?

10. Those cocoons the pearl shoot, why were people in them knocked out? Some kind of dampening/paralisyation field they emit unless breached?

11. Why did that one Pearl that was being tortured die after being freed? Did his soul go to "Sequell Space"?

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I haven't seen Valerian, and I won't. The review published in my local newspaper said it sucked. The plot was vapid and stupid; the lead characters had no personal chemistry; everything in the movie was an obvious ripoff of something from other SF movies.

 

So I suspect the problem is not a bad translation, but a bad movie.

 

And possibly a bad director. After The Fifth Element, I don't expect much from Luc Besson. Another movie with beautiful production values and a witless story.

 

Dean Shomshak

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I haven't seen Valerian, and I won't. The review published in my local newspaper said it sucked. The plot was vapid and stupid; the lead characters had no personal chemistry; everything in the movie was an obvious ripoff of something from other SF movies.

 

So I suspect the problem is not a bad translation, but a bad movie.

 

And possibly a bad director. After The Fifth Element, I don't expect much from Luc Besson. Another movie with beautiful production values and a witless story.

 

Dean Shomshak

That's pretty much what I was going to say.

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I haven't seen Valerian, and I won't. The review published in my local newspaper said it sucked. The plot was vapid and stupid; the lead characters had no personal chemistry; everything in the movie was an obvious ripoff of something from other SF movies.

 

So I suspect the problem is not a bad translation, but a bad movie.

 

And possibly a bad director. After The Fifth Element, I don't expect much from Luc Besson. Another movie with beautiful production values and a witless story.

 

Dean Shomshak

If you found 5th Element to be a bad movie, we have non-reconcileable taste in movies.

And btb, Valerian (the comic books) predate all those "other SF movies". If anything, those other movies stole from Valerian and they are just taking it back.

Poor chemistry between lead Characters? Yeah, I have to agree with that.

 

But the rest is mostly BS where people got the chronology totally messed up just because the movie happened after the Original, the copies and the movies of the copies.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Just got back from seeing this one. Talk about cliché fest! Dane DeHaan (Valerian) talked like a wooden Keanu Reeves. The plot, twists and all, was spotted a Swedish mile off. No chemistry, that is so true -- but Cara Delevigne was good; she can be my comedienne any day. Also, very pretty effects.

 

Grade ends up as two outta five (Bro D. gave it a weak three) -- if you want to see it at the movies, see it as a matiné, otherwise wait for it to turn up on the TV.

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