Jump to content


Popular Content

Showing content with the highest reputation since 06/23/2017 in all areas

  1. 12 points


  2. 11 points

    Black Widow

    A couple of scenes I would like to see in the Black Widow movie-- We begin with an ending--specifically the ending of The Avengers at the shawarma scene-- An adorable little red-haired girl comes up to Natasha-- "You're one of the heroes, aren't you?" Natasha smiles wearily. "I don't know as I'd say I was a hero--" "Can I have your autograph?" Natasha sighs. "Honey, I really don't think that's a--" Then she trails off when she catches sight of Tony Stark across the table nodding his head and mouthing the words "Yes! Sign It! Come On!" She looks back at the little girl and sees the beginnings of disappointment in her eyes. "Okay, sure," says Natasha, and takes the piece of paper the girl offers her. "What's your name?" "Tasha." Natasha looks at her incredulously for a moment, then thinks for a moment and writes on the paper. She hands it back to Tasha, and she reads what's written out loud. "To Tasha--Keep Fighting The Good Fight--Best Always--The BLACK WIDOW!" Tasha's eyes light up like Times Square. "That is so cool! I'm gonna tell all my friends I got an autograph from the Black Widow!" She launches herself at Natasha and gives her a big hug. "Thank You, Black Widow!" As she runs off, Natasha looks after her until Stark speaks again. "You see? It feels good to get recognized for a good job." "Especially when you've earned it," says Steve Rogers, who offers Tony his hand. "I owe you an apology. I was wrong about you." "You don't owe me anything," replies Tony. "But you could pick up the tab." "Sorry," smiles Steve, "I left my wallet in my other suit." "You have another suit?" jokes Tony, and they laugh at each other while Natasha looks off thoughtfully, trying to deal with what just happened. Scant hours before she was Natasha Romanoff, agent of SHIELD and spy without a country. Now--she's the Black Widow, defender of New York and one of Earth's Mightiest Heroes. I'd also like a scene with Melinda May. Something in a dive bar, I think-- "If it isn't the Black Widow." "If it isn't the Cavalry." "You know I don't like that name." "Don't know why. As far as code names go, it's pretty solid. Besides--isn't Chun Li taken?" "Oh, you're funny." "Thanks. I'm thinking of a career in stand-up comedy." The bartender--who bears a remarkable resemblance to Stan Lee--steps up. "Ladies--whattya drinkin'?" "Whiskey," they say in unison. "Straight up." "What, no vodka?" says May. "What am I, a cliche? (Switches to Russian accent) You vant I should be chasing after Moose and Squirrel, dahlink?" May laughs. "Now that's funny." "I got a million of 'em." Or something like that.
  3. 10 points

    Funny pics

    This is wrong on so many levels.
  4. 9 points
    Old Man

    Funny pics

  5. 9 points

    Greatest American Hero Reboot

    Believe it or not, it'll succeed or will fail I guess we'll just have to wait and see-ee Fan patience isn't a virtue - buzz is the key Diverse or just PCeee? If it gets to air we will see
  6. 9 points

    Wonder Woman

    It wasn't just the helmets, this woman (shown below) kept appearing and ruined the historical authenticity of this WW1 documentary for me. Its like they were showing a completely alternate universe or something!
  7. 9 points

    Who wins Squirrel Girl vs Batman

    Here's how it goes down , roughly, in my headcanon (Boom) Batman knocks Tippy Joe from a tree in his pursuit of justice! The squirrel gives a yip of pain from the fall, and Squirel Girl comes to see what happened! She learns of the Dark Knight's reckless lack of empathy for rodents everywhere [Treebeard Voice]"A bat should know better[/Treebeard voice] Batman defeats his foe, only to get attacked by Squirel Girl! His years of training, gadgets, and strategems should mean he would win, but it seems every move he tries is countered or thwarted. Sometimes by squirrels at the most inconvenient places, other times just bad luck. Batman is losing, and indeed, must cede the victory by fleeing from Squirrel girl. But, he is the king of prep and training. In the batcave he learns more of this Squirel Girl, her record, her history. And comes to the conclusion her true power is winning against insane odds. Somehow, she affects things beyond probabllty to make it happen. Her powers affect the situation on a quantum level. There is only one way to defeat her. Leaving Gotham in Nightwing's hands, he trains for months ! he learns the ways of the brutal Gray Squirrels of the Pine Barrens, and studies the cultural wisdom of the red squirrels of Scotland. It is among the teachers of the flying squirrels where he truly flourishes! After the season of learning is done, he patrols ready for the rematch. Dressed as a giant squirrel. He encounters Squirrel Girl who is ready to finish that fight for the wrong he done to Tippy Joe! Batman pulls out the move so sneaky, so unbatman, that no one expects it from him! He apologizes, not just to Squirrel Girl, but Tippy Joe, and explains how he was sorry, at the time of the incident thousands of humans AND Squirrels were in danger from the Joker's latest plan to release a toxic gas in the park. That, he says is why he was so focused on getting the bad guy, but if he had only apologized after none of this need have happened. Squirrel Girl? She begins to cry, and say no, no, SHE was the one who was wrong. "I was so angry at you, so set on Revenge that I let it drive me towards obsession, and gloomy brooding! What sort of superhero forgets to ENJOY the world and celebrate what they're protecting in order to instead wallow in angsty misery?" Bruce says "um well, maybe they lost someone and ah…" She waves him off "No need to make excuses for me. I became bitter and unfun, sourhearted and jaded!! Oh it was terrible! I was terrible. I'm sorry, Batman in a Squrrel Suit! I way over reacted, but I want to thank you, thank you for reminding me what being a hero should be! Warm, friendly, and ready to kick evil's butt not because of rage and trauma, but because golly, we've got to keep this wonderful world wonderful. " And she hugs him, her tail causing him to sneeze as it slaps his face. Batman had figured out the way to beat Squirrel Girl was to have her not want to win! So victory once more…kind of, grumble… maybe. HE's gonna go home and have a lobster , he's earned this. Lobster and a batsulk over his 'victory'
  8. 9 points

    Funny pics

  9. 9 points

    Funny pics

  10. 9 points

    Wonder Woman

    I Mod Hat: Let's play nice and not go with the insults just because someone disagrees. As far as I am aware, direct insults are still something I'm supposed to step on. Maybe someone doesn't think Antifa is all that great an organization, it doesn't mean they're profacist, any more than someone not liking some Men's rights groups automatically makes them a misandrist.
  11. 8 points
    Ayup. I mean, we're an amazing nation, but let's not pretend Norwegians are looking at our news and going "Yeah, that's exactly where I want to go" Norway is doing great. Barring a possible attack from Putin's Russia or something, it needs the US about as much a yeti needs an Air conditioner. Of course the countries that have problems are where folks are coming from. That doesn't make them ****hole nations, it makes them poor nations with problems. Haiti isn't anymore a ****hole nation for having earthquakes and poverty than parts of California are ****hole for having Wildfires and PETA or Texas is for having Floods earlier and Dallas Traffic. I'm against illegal immigration but sympathetic to those who try it. I am FOR Legal Immigration, particularly as part of helping those downtrodden who need help and a chance. Could we get maybe a billion bucks thrown into our processing system that helps applicants become American citizens faster? How about that, law AND the Dream. But no, Trump clearly has his idea of what's acceptable, and it looks racist, and just as bad, like if you don't come in wearing a nice suit he'd just as soon you never get into the club. Trump's a racist, if that was the limit of his disdain for his fellow humans, I'd be disgusted and worried that we had a president who fit that in the 21st Century. Say what you want about Bush Jr, but the efforts he made to help African nations speak well of him. But Trump's not JUST a racist. He's sexist. He's a classist. He's an elitist in every way, and yet has none of the right to be smug about it. He's an uncultured swine who had pearls cast before him when he was young and used that start to bully more treasures from others and claims he's self made. He values strength above all, and attacks anyone who shows him as weak in any area. He throws folks in pits in order to stand taller, and he shows no loyalty to any unless they do something for him, while whining like a schoolboy when folks refuse to kowtow. Dear Norwegians, please do yourselves a favor and don't come here for another 3 to 7 years.. We'd love to have you, but the truth is? We're not dressed in our best. And to those countries that fall under the category of ****hole by Trump's standards? If you've seen his standards, on ethics, on honor, on decency, you'll realize you don't really WANT his approval.
  12. 8 points
    If we elect produce, we can make America grape again!
  13. 8 points
    MCU: Minutiae about whether Thanos looks too much like Josh Brolin. DCU: Batman shoots and brands people while Superman levels cities and then dies.
  14. 8 points

    Funny pics

    Ahem: This Mac Supports Windows. *bows* *leaves*
  15. 8 points

    Funny pics

  16. 8 points

    Funny pics

  17. 8 points

    Funny pics

    I think Lady P is in charge of the cranberries this year....
  18. 8 points
    (Continued, rough draft so errors will abound. comments still welcome) People assume that if you have a Southern accent you must have grown on a farm. The truth of the matter is while I have family with farms, I am hardly an expert on poultry. Chicken coops stink, I know that much, so after I grasped the immensity of this things size, I then became illuminated to the intensity of the stench that wafted from it as feathers flew. "Oh," I made a face after getting the big man back inside a building, "You are one foul fowl. Now let's calm down, and not eat anyone okay? Nice rooster, good rooster, rather rank rooster" I continued in a voice I hoped sounded soothing while still getting the attention of the Brobdingnagian bird. Not respecting my extensive vocabulary, the damn thing kicked me a good sixty feet in the air and smashed me through the window of a second-floor apartment. There was the shattering of glass, a woman's scream, and I looked up to see an open bathroom door and a woman desperately reaching for a towel. I averted my eyes from her and apologized, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, giant chicken!" I pointed to the window! "That is no excuse! Chanel 3 always said heroes were menaces and I always thought they were too rough on you guys, but I'm starting to have serious," Her eyes drifted to follow where I was pointing "It's a giant chicken!" Her eyes widened as an angry avian approached. "What I said!" I reminded, "Get back in the bathroom, close the door, and lay low." "The size of that pecker is huge," She gaped. I was being so good right now, I thought before saying "Bathroom, lay low. Thanks." And I leapt from the window projecting myself with superstrong legs to punch the chicken right in the head! I hoped to line up the trajectory, so it fell on the street and not the buildings. I didn't quite get the English on it right, and the thing staggered back into a street light! This thing wasn't just big and strong, it could take a punch that would go through steel! And yes, I'm aware some animal lovers would be appalled that I just risked what might have been a killing blow on a chicken. To which I ask if you've ever eaten out of a bucket? If you have, then you have no moral high ground. Zero. Zip. "Cock-a-doodle-do!" I said and made scratching motions as I tried to lead it away. An area with warehouses would be best. Some of those are empty half the year. It's why villains often squat there. I needed to get this thing away from the heavier populated area. Apparently megachicken did not like my scratching the ground, miming a rooster. In fact he really, really, looked quite pissed. "Buh-Ka!" it bellowed and charged. "And here we go," I said breaking into a full run of my own. In the past I've often lamented my lack of mobility compared to some other heroes who can run at superspeed, fly, or even teleport. To compensate for this, I've been practicing my sprinting. Unlike my swimming speed I won't be breaking any records for that. Have you ever tried outrunning a fifty-foot tall anything? Talk about a wide stride, that damn chicken was on me much faster than I intended. I'd barely gotten another quarter of a block. From the window of another building I could see someone using their phone to record me. Well, if I had any dignity in this before, and I'm not sure how I could. Fish Guy runs from Fowl Giant- Film at Eleven. I leaped, hoping to get some more distance. Superstrength in the legs means you can really hop when you have to; but the damn thing caught me in mid air! One moment I was hitting Olympic high jump levels of altitude, and then SNAP there was pain. A lot of pain. The beck hadn't just clamped down on me, it was actually cutting through the skin of the right leg it had trapped and was squeezing harder. What the hell had empowered this thing? I could only imagine what the spurs would do. If I wasn't hurting and embarrassed both, I might have had the presence of mind to joke about getting a leg up in the world, and certainly threats about eleven secret herbs and spices in the fowl's future would surely have flowed. As it was, I wasn't on top of my quip game. Heck, I didn't even think to call the giant rooster 'Chicken not so little' "Let go!" I said and reared my free leg up and plowed it in the side of the face with the force of a wrecking ball. And when it didn't work the first time, I did it again, and again. Third time being the charm the chicken cried out in pain and dropped me. The bird was really at the multiple shots to its head. And I? I plummeted to the ground from nearly fifty in the air, slamming into the street below with all the grace of a bean bag with dreams of flight. I rolled to my feet feeling more than a bit tender. I needed to keep pulling this thing away from the populated areas. Protecting innocents is priority one for the New Samaritans. Even if those innocents are idiots. The news van's lights caught Megachicken's attention right away. That, combined with the movement, really drew its attention away from me. And that was something nobody could afford. Megachicken charged towards this new target and the driver of the van got a panicked look in his face and tried to turn despite the reporter screaming in his ear that they couldn't leave without the story- Smart Driver. I needed its attention again. And to save whatever members of the fourth estate that didn't have the sense to stay away from Poultry that could quite literally bite their heads off. Seizing the bent streetlamp, I tore it all the way out and whipped it around with what I hoped was a challenging bellow and throw it like a drunken Scottish American on steroids at a highland games contest. It struck the back of the chicken where it bent and warped before sliding off the dirty feathers of the beast. I don't know how much the throw hurt it, if at all, but it did cast one baleful eye my way and the chicken chase was on again. I was going slower than before, of course. A wounded leg will do that to you, but at least we were almost at the warehouses and, praise the lord, the news crew wasn't closing in again. They can be taught. I also noticed the chicken was shaken a little, maybe not as quick as it was before after all. That was gratifying. When I kick something in the head, it keeps the old ego bolstered to know said kick is having an effect. That said, it was still gaining again. Possibly because I was challenging it. "Hey, Buhkaw!" I said over shoulder and held up my hands over my head in what I hoped looked like a bristling comb mimicry. "BuhKaw!" Megachicken thundered back. No, he did not like this challenge at all. I made another jump, well, hop, towards the warehouse avoiding falling under another talon lash. One more jump and we were in the warehouse parking lot. Not a car was in sight, no lights in the building were on. I was safe to cut loose and then some. I turned around and this time when the damn bird tried to kick me, I ran under its legs and took a shot at the right drumstick while the left was upraised. Tough this thing was, but it still needed support and balance. So Roostersaurus came a tumbling down. I nearly got pinned underneath it. Wouldn't that be a hoot? But I had room to move now. I could cut loose, and let me tell you something, aching leg or not? It felt good! Another leap, another punch to the creature's head and this it felt! Only feathers were really masking the massive bruises I was now inflicting on this thing. It began to stand up, I tore feathers on my way to prevent myself from falling. They were slick, stinky, and gross and I was going to need a shower after this. I gave him a belly shot on my way down and it staggered again even as I landed. "That's right, big guy, I've been going easy on you up till now," I grabbed a leg, braced, and exerted myself. I was about to lift something heavier than a post office building. I should know, I had a basis for comparison. I lifted megachicken up off its feet! And was already to flip it on its back again! What happened next, I did not expect. I should have, but I didn't. There was an intense rush of wind, a foul-smelling torrent of air, accompanied by sounds akin to muffled thunder, and I? I was rising off the ground. There was a good reason for that. The now panicking chicken was trying to fly! I don't know if whatever had increased its wing size had made it possible, but by the Spirit of the Colonel himself, the damn thing was taking off. And taking me with it. This is my life. "Oh, come on!" I called out as we took to the air together. We were going up, up, and over the warehouse I had worked so hard to lead it to. Then we began to go down again. I don't know. Maybe the chicken got tired. Maybe the forces of science finally noticed and said: This is just too much. No. Just no. So here we were about to nest on a warehouse. There was no way that roof was going to hold her weight. I guess it wouldn't be superheroing if there wasn't some property damage. Still, I winced as I dropped down to the warehouse, not because my leg was pounding already and landing from that height stung, but because I knew what was happening next. Well, I thought I knew what was happening next. Yes, Megachicken fell down on the warehouse roof. Yes, the roof began almost immediately to buckle and break under it. It flapped furiously and fell through. I could see all that happening. What I didn't see coming was the woman levitating over the chicken, and then suddenly plummeting down like a human cannonball. Once it began, I had quite the show. There was a horrendous crack, and I think said lady gave the rooster a concussion. Its huge eyes widened, and then it went out. The costumed woman slid rapidly at first, then suddenly slowed and drifted through the air like a ghost towards me. Just as quickly she dropped before me, grabbed me to bring my head down, and decided she wanted to steal a good chunk of the oxygen in my lungs as she laid one hell of a kiss on me. "Hi," She said when she parted. I grinned down at her, "Nice costume." What wasn't to like? The costume was green and red, with a few gold touches to break things up. Her emerald top had a V cut edged in gold which showed a tasteful and appealing flash of cleavage but not anything you'd worry about coming part at the first time she got knocked end over end. The red leggings under a gold belt also worked out nicely and, as she wasn't stupid, the boots did not have high heels. It was form fitting and functional, and she even had gloves of gold and green to keep those pesky finger prints from betraying her. The Mask went down to bottom of the nose level. "Thanks I," She made a face at something, "What's that smell?" "That would be the giant chicken you just clambered all over," I said, "And that I was fighting before that." I started to pull her in for another kiss, but she was having none of it. "No, no, sorry, not until we've both had a shower or bath, ugh," a firm shake of the head no. "Are you telling I can't kiss or touch you again because of filthy fifty foot tall rooster?" I raised a brow. "that's what I'm saying," Ariana nodded. Ariana is not a tall woman, and she's pretty, so much to her annoyance sometimes every little thing she does is adorable. Combine that with what I said and, I couldn't help what slipped out of my mouth next. "Gives a whole new definition to cock-blocked" I grinned. She groaned "Okay, you just blocked yourself, I'll decide how long." I grinned at that "Now, you're being mean, miss…" A thought occurred to me, "Wait, what's your superhero name? I mean, I hope you already picked one?" "I sure did," She grinned, "Say hello to the newest member of the New Samaritans, Valorosa!" Ariana, that is, Valorosa, struck an exaggerated heroic pose. "Valarosa? I-" Then the metaphorical lightbulb came on over my head. I had learned some more Spanish words since dating Ariana "Wait, isn't that Spanish for Valorous?" "Si," She dimpled, "Your Spanish is really coming along. Though to be fair that is an easy one. Valorosa is indeed the feminine form of Valorous. I kind of stole his name. It’s a good one, and that jerk certainly didn't deserve it." "Kind of?" I raised a brow, "Does Arctic Fox know about this?" "Know about it?" Valorosa replied, "Who do you think suggested it?" "Of course, she did," I said, shook my head, and began to chuckle. Trust the men girl for justice to get a bit of her own back. You know, normally I don't believe in stealing a superhero's name, but in the end? Valorous had been no hero. He had broken Ariana's arm, in fact, and might have killed her if he felt he had to for his "mission". There are a lot of things I regret in this life. Beating the holy snot out of Valorous and taking his amplifier tech off him? Not even close. And the more I remembered, the more I wanted to punch him again. I could only imagine how rightfully ticked Arctic Fox felt. Yeah, Valorous didn't deserve that name. The Authorities began to come in, firemen, police, and animal control. Exactly what they were going to do with a fifty-foot-tall chicken? I don't know. But the news tonight was going to be interesting. Valorosa was frowning her chocolate eyes intent. I followed the gaze and realized she was looking at the wounds on my leg. "I'll heal up in the shower" I promised. "Mmph," She said, "Another reason for you to take one." "Wash my back?" I grinned broadly. "Eww, no," Then a slip of a smile escaped, "But once you've got the first layer off, I might let you wash mine? Would that be too daunting a task for the mighty Eel?" "It's a tough job," my grin widened, "But a man's got to do what a man's got to do." "My hero" She said dramatically. We left before the press could be allowed closer by the Authorities. Ariana believed, and I had to agree, that fighting a fifty-foot-tall rooster should not be your first act on record as a superhero. The media would get the word on Valorosa another day. The shower was wonderful, thank you, and obviously for reasons that went well beyond getting clean or even regeneration. Ariana likes to complain I rushed the first kiss between us all because we defeated a bad guy together. But she kissed back! About two months into our relationship, we got serious, as in, all the way serious. It was a more mature relationship than I'd been in in, well, perhaps ever, and rather than getting scared about where this was going, I found myself kind of thoughtful about that very thing. Then again, I've been burned by romance as much as anyone else. Don't rush things, Caleb. We had gone to the base, so Mabel chiming in on the wall did not surprise me, "Hey there you two, I'm assuming it's two?" Ariana blush prettily at that, and said "Yes, and you know that. Is the team back from their diplomatic meeting?" "Yes, and speaking of meetings," Mabel hinted, "There's one up in the next ten minutes. All Sammies expected." "We'll be there," I assured "Thanks, Mabel." The light that was active whenever Mabel was 'in' a room went off, and I smiled at Ariana, "Lot can be done in ten minutes." "yes," She agreed, "But can it be done well? Let's get dressed. What we can do? We can get fully dressed in clean clothes," A light pat and it looked like that was the plan despite my hopes. Oh well, can't blame a guy for trying for a round two right? What could I say, I'm flesh and blood, young and male, and I maybe in love with her. This is a combination that leads to romantic poetry or at least bawdy hip hop. But here I was hiking on clothes and making sure I was respectable enough for our little group talk. The base was built into an old mall. At first I was surprised, but after I got over that, I started to realize how brilliant that was. A lot of old malls are dying, but the size is huge, and for those that were closed, they have an area of parking space nowhere near a house or private business. In short, innocents won't be endangered unless we have guests, and most folks don't know about the place. Add to that super tech and this is a really nice set up. And the rooms here are so much nicer than my apartment it is hard not using this place as my main residence instead of the secondary one. The others were waiting in what had once been a food court. Everyone was there, though not everyone was in costume. Lady Obsidian, for example, was dressed in her usual professional classy casual combo. The oldest member of our team, Doctor Vivian Vernon was also our leader. She'd been at this longer than any of us. But even she could be surprised. "A fifty-foot-tall chicken is all over the news, the square cube law has been repealed so often I think it's merely a guideline now" She sighed.
  19. 7 points
    Trivia of the day: the use of symbols as from older comics for swearing ( #$!*% ) is called a grawlix.
  20. 7 points
  21. 7 points
    Old Man

    In other news...

    To be honest, around here the person getting the blame is the guy who fumbled foreign policy so badly that we have to have missile alerts in the first place. I usually dismiss conservative publications like the National Review out of hand, but this particular article is especially laughable. It starts with the bald faced lie that military officers are always held accountable for failures on this scale, and then goes into an irrelevant tangent about Japanese business culture. (One wonders if that tangent would have been included if the director's last name was Smith.) It complains about a supposed lack of accountability in public service but conveniently forgets that corporations are even less accountable. Accountability for this particular fiasco will in fact occur this fall, on Election Day. Meanwhile, what actually happened was that in less than 12 hours, the public officials in charge figured out what happened, took immediate steps to prevent it from happening again, disciplined the poor bastard who chose the wrong option on the pulldown menu, and went on camera to take personal responsibility. There was exactly zero finger pointing. That's pretty damn refreshing when the rest of my news feed is full of politicians banding together to elect child rapists while shouting "no collusion!" loudly and often, hoping to convince themselves it's true. But by all means, take the opportunity to smear public unions! Even the article didn't go that far.
  22. 7 points
  23. 7 points
    I think a lot of this goes back to where you fall on the old Gamist-Narrativist-Simulationist spectrum. "This is how it should work" is a very Simulationist attitude. "How do we want it to work?" can be either Gamist (if you're going for power/effectiveness) or Narrativist (if you're going for what makes a better story). Neither approach is inherently better than the others, of course, nor are they mutually-exclusive. Just depends on what gives you & your players the most fun. Personally, I used to be much more Simulationist, but have become much more Narrativist as I mellow in my old age. There's no question that Hero is one of the best Simulationist tool boxes in gaming. And there's certainly plenty for the Gamists to play around with. But you can also use those same tools to drive Narrative choices. I look at Limitations and so forth as one way for the players to have meta-level in put into what kind of games they want to play. Say a character wants to have a big hammer with lots of cool powers. But they don't want to have it taken away from them all the time because that's not fun for them. So they just don't take the Focus Limitation and technobabble their way into a justification for why it can't be taken away. ("See, it always returns to my hand after I throw it...") It's the inverse of the character who has family, but doesn't want them to become hostages every other episode; so he lists them under his "supporting cast" but doesn't take them as DNPCs. As for the specifics for what protects someone from being teleported out of their armor, the usual comic-book answer is "It's shielded." Which can mean Power Defense, or "Blocks Teleportation" or whatever you want it to mean. Edit: For me, it also varies from genre to genre & game to game. I used to run a modern-day monster hunter game for a bunch of engineers that was very Simulationist. Superheroes tend to be more Narrativist to me, because the logic of "how" things work is so flexible anyway. YMMV
  24. 7 points
    (More about Eel's relationship, he gets advice, I'm not sure its good advice, but it's what came out at the time) The meeting broke up. Lady Obsidian had to hit the lab and continue her work. Pinprick, having shrunk Megahicken and then tussled with Dark Lord Charming was going to call his son and keep touch. I wasn't sure what Tornado and Valorosa were up to, but I was seriously considering asking the latter out for dinner. I was starving. I hadn't realized how long it had been since I ate something. I seriously considered having the chicken. Revenge would be had Extra Crispy this evening. Maybe Ariana and I needed to talk, maybe I needed to let her talk, and listen for a bit. If Fox was right, I had been missing a lot, and she had a lot on her shoulders. I had thought I was the one thinking where this relationship would go. Turns out, Ariana was three steps ahead of me after all. A part of me felt irritated that she hadn't talked to me about this. Telepathy is not one of my powers, and how I'm supposed to know without knowing, barring clairvoyance, was beyond me. On the flipside, mostly I felt- bad. There had been clues, and I had missed them. Fox had to point them out to me. Now that she had, a few of them felt obvious. Maybe I really was a clueless dumbass? Yeah, I decided dinner and me using my mouth only for eating while Ariana talked might be best. I went looking for her before I decided on drumsticks or wings. Ah, who was I kidding? I always went drumsticks. I heard two voices, a rich confident masculine one, and the other, a delicate feminine voice I had grown to adore hearing in my ear in the morning, both with that touch of Mexican flavoring that made them almost musical, at least to these North Carolina ears. Fortunately for me, it was in English. "I just worry he's not going to change, never going to want more," Ariana said, "he doesn't seem to care for anything but-" words failed her. "Except for saving the lives of strangers, and stopping bad people from doing bad things," Valentino returned, "And he's got a thing for protecting post offices." "It's not fair putting it that way," She said in a tone of irritation that she was as annoyed with him having a point as she was with him taking up my side, "We already knew he was brave, selfless, and noble-" And good looking, I wanted to add as I found myself pressing against a wall to avoid being seen if they came this way. Was I eavesdropping? Yes, yes, I was. She continued, "-It's what drew me to him, it's why I feel the way I feel about him, but now? I want more, more for him than he himself does, and," her voice caught in a way that made my heart ache, "maybe more for us. That's only reasonable, isn't it?" "Let me understand this, he was everything you thought you wanted," Valentino said gently, "Now, you have decided that may not be enough. And somehow, he's not only supposed to realize this all on his own, he's supposed to change his priorities, his very life, like that? I'm not sure reasonable is the word I'd use. A man, even a good man, is a man, Ariana- not a set of clothing that can be touched or tailored. In your head, you know this. It's your heart that's confused. The only person who can change a person is that person. I'm sorry. Be honest with him, and hope, that's all you can do but don't get so excited about what might be you lose track of what good you've got." "Lose track of it, Tino? Don't you see, if I weren't so happy with what I had, it wouldn't hurt so much to think on how I may end up having to walk away from it, from him. I'm scared and-" And then, the voices stopped. I thought I heard a soft sob, and soft mutterings of reassurance. And, I found I didn't have the courage to see what exactly what was going in that hallway, even if I had a very good idea. I couldn't face that. I wouldn't know what to say, and if she spurned my attempt to make it right, my putting a hand on her shoulder; her pushing both away? I don't think I could have taken that. I never felt more like a wuss than I did that moment as I walked away to hunt down a meal that I realized would now be a lot less satisfying. For the first time in a long while, I felt a powerful need to take this damn mask off. Aaron opened the door to our apartment with a buxom black clad chick on his arm. The busty woman with him had short hair with a ripple of colors not to be found in nature. Not that Aaron Mitzhim is typical himself. A Punk Rocker looking for the chance to sell out, so he could support family, Aaron has the mohawk, nose ring, and vulgar t shirt. Yet, he never fails to visit his grandmother at least once a week and make sure she's okay. He seemed to thrive on riling even his own fans, but I'd gotten to know him, and as alien as he was to this Southern Boy, I'd come to realize one thing about him. Aaron Mitzhim is good people. He was also a surprised person as his eyes fell on me on the couch. I was a classy sight in my sweat pants, Panthers tee shirt, and bare feet with my mouth tearing into an extra-crispy drumstick. Con-Air was playing on the TV, and quite deliberately so, as I'd put it in the DVD player. I really did use the apartment for sleep chiefly. If you discounted slumber, I was here infrequently at best. "Oh, Sorry, Aaron, ma'am," I realized I sounded more country than usual. I guess my mind was so preoccupied that my accent was on maximum, "I can ah, go somewhere." "Uhm, hey," The woman said, giving me an uncertain look, then Aaron an eager one. Yeah, he was gonna score tonight. I started to rise, then Aaron surprised me. He turned to the girl and said, "Hey, ZJ, I'll catch you another night. We'll get it jumpin then." He said it with such confidence that I was a bit amazed. He really thought she'd just go along with that and score with her later at his convenience? "Cool," she shrugged, kissed him, and slipped out. My jaw nearly fell open at that, "How do musicians do it?" "With style, my talentless friend," He flumped next to me, rather rudely snatched a wing from my bucket, and then said, "Who died?" "You're lucky you didn't take a drumstick, buddy," I grumbled, then said, "How did you know I was down?" "Oh please, just because you're rarely here doesn't mean I'm blind, man. You told me you were a private kind of guy, and that if I asked you no questions you'd tell me no lies. Cool by me. But I do notice things, and you only put Con Air in the player when you're depressed or really feeling down," He said. "Hey, heroic southern boy undeservedly goes to jail, serves his time, saves the day, and gets a few good one liners out all so he can get back to family with honor. I'm telling you the film is an underappreciated masterpiece," I insisted, and perhaps not for the first time. "Uh huh," Aaron tore into the meat and looked at me, "Now, back to the core subject. Who the hell rained on your parade? Did your favorite football team lose again?" "Please, if you knew my father you'd know I've been used to cheering on bad teams and rolling with it," I grinned, but I could see he would keep pressing, "you know Ariana, right?" "Hot sexy short spicy?" He answered, "yeah, you two are serious. She dump you, man?" "No, but I'm worried she might," I confessed to him, "It, it's gotten more serious for her than I thought, and I feel the same way, but, I –" "Whoa, wait, you two feel the same way about your relationship? I mean, both of you are getting thoughtful about where this might go, so it's scary because it could be so good?" "Yeah," I said a bit annoyed he'd cut in. If he was going to have me confess he could at least let me explain, " I mean it could. It really could." "Congratulations man," He grinned. "Dude, I just told you she might dump me, because I'm not, well," How to explain this without talking about Eel? "I've got no direction, no ambition, nothing practical anyway, and she's worried if she lets it get any more serious she's going to watch me get hurt and get hurt herself. And hurting her is the last thing I want to do, but I- none of the regular stuff, the nine to five, the making big bucks, none of that appeals to me. I'm not called to that. I mean, I'm willing to do it, to make the rent-" "Good news for me," He munched. "-But," I continued confused at his chipper attitude, "They say you can only change because you want to change, because of what you want. You can't do it for other people." "True, too true," He threw the wing bone away and started to reach for another one, "You have to have your own reason to want to change. You've got to have something a bit selfish involved or it's just a sham unfair to others as well as yourself." Annoyed, I nevertheless tilted the bucket his way towards him, "So you see my problem, why are you looking so hunky dory about it?" "Hunky Dory? God, people still say that in this century?" He shook his head and I couldn't help but noticed this time he'd snagged a drumstick. Oh, he was pushing his luck and didn't even know it, "I'm happy for you, man, because most people don’t' that far. The fact you're afraid of losing what you got is proof that it's a blessing to have. And you even have something you want, just for yourself, selfish as get out." "What's that?" I was almost sure we were speaking different languages right now. "Ariana," He said, "You want Ariana. Not just to practice the infinite combination of the numbers six and nine in all their many sacred geometrical sets, but you want her maybe the big L-O-V-E. All this time, I pretty much guessed you were shacking up at her place instead of staying here. It's all in how you look at it. You can't change for her, but maybe for yourself to get her? That you might manage." "That almost makes sense," I confessed after a moment, "But how do I know it's for me too and not just for her?" "Don't tell her, try the change, and see how it goes. If it works for you, hey, you let her in on it, if not, then you learned something wasn't for you, that it didn't work for you, and no more chance of her leaving you than before," He bit down, "It's like the movie Grease. A lot of people whine about how Sandra Dee had to change herself to get Danny forget that Danny changed too. He went from Rebel to Jock. Now I'm sure a lot of folks will go "But ..she tramped it up", never mind that she was still, as far as we know, a one man woman. Hell, she made up her mind it was him. I know a lot of girls who dress more conservatively but act a lot more trampishly than that in real life. So why did she change? Just to get his attention? Or maybe she was tired of being scared of her own sexual power. Maybe she liked the look and didn't care if she got judged as a 'bad girl' anymore. I'm sure I'm reading some wrong things into it. But the way I see it? The two of them both seem a lot happier with the changes. Even on their own, Sandra would have had guys lining up and had good friends to pal around with. Danny bragged about lettering. Maybe they did it to win each other, or even a meeting in the middle, but they also learned more about themselves. What you have here is a chance for self-discovery of who you, Caleb Lambert are. Why automatically assume it's a loss that this chance has opened up?" The metaphorical dawning happened, and I admitted, "Aaron, you're a genius." "Nah, I'm a musician. I've got like the power of hundreds of love songs, and just as many 'finding myself musical moments' to draw on," He waved it off, "So what now?" "I am watching the rest of this movie," I told him, "Then, I have things to look into. A few of them actually for myself, and if I end up wowing my girl so much she squees, that's just gravy." "Fine, we'll watch the redneck hero save the day," He leaned back and enjoyed the food, "But whoever you change into?" "Yeah?" I looked at him curiously. "Make sure he pays his rent at least until I can find a new roomie?" Aaron asked. "Deal," I smiled "And, thanks." When the movie ended, with the folksy hero triumphant (as it always should be) I got up. There were things to look into. Maybe I was going to do somethings for the wrong reasons before this was said and done, maybe I'd do it for the right and get it right, but since when was I the sort to quit before I began?
  25. 7 points

    Funny pics