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WWYCD?: Day of the Turkey 2020 Triple Threat


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It's once again Thanksgiving Day, the official holiday of roast turkey, stuffing, and peanut oil fires in the driveway. This year, Campaign City gets hit with a triple threat of giant turkey-themed monsters from years past: Gob-Lar the giant mutant turkey, Gobble-Tron the giant turkey mecha, and another group of crazy cultists summoned another giant demon turkey (and of course, got gobbled up shortly after completing the ritual). Each of the three is approaching town from a different direction, but are all head for Main Street!

 

WWYCD?

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I have to name the cultist turkey. He shall be forever called Waddlethulu.

 

Lady Heart: Come on. Three giant turkey things. And one which looks like what Cthulu would feast upon for Thanksgiving. Try to give the people time to evaluate the main streets and stop them with force if we have to.

 

Sailor Titan: Simular to Lady Heart, but she and the rest of the Sailor Senshi are aiming to kill at least two of the three rampaging beasts (three if the turkey is a true robot turkey and not a mecha turkey). She'll coderate her attacks with the others while screams of "World Shaking!", and "Moon Gorgeous Meditation!", and "Dead Scream! fill the air. She'll join in with "Rolling Thunder!" and "Titan Thunderclap Slash!"

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Harshal would grab his go-bag, and bag of precious stones, and get the hell out of town.

 

Zenobia would attempt Banishment on the demon turkey (although finding a large enough bottle of cranberry sauce for the rite might be difficult), and cutting the Achilles tendon on the mutant. She's not really equipped to deal with mecha. She would certainly try and keep their attention away from civilians.

 

Jrska would find a bottle shop, loot an armfull of stuff, climb onto the roof, and cheer them on. 

 

Vitus would cast Boil Blood on the mutant, Destroy Metal on the mecha, and simple Annihilation on the demon. They might be large, but heads, ankles, and eyeballs tend to be vulnerable targets. Anybody who complains about the collateral damage as the fall over, flail, etc, will be treated with utter contempt. 

 

Zero would probably have to keep hitting them with telepathic illusions to keep them off-balance, and lead them to open ground away from civilians.

 

Felix from Shadowrun would probably just gawp. He's more likely to be part of the fleeing crowds, honestly, in this situation. 

 

Ripper K would be getting civilians out of the way, at least until his teammates have got the anti-tank gun unpacked and need him to kick some doors in so they get to the best vantages points to shoot from. 

 

Techmarine Tawhaki would wait until they all reach Main Street and call in an orbital lance strike. The collateral damage is unfortunate, but the God-Emperor will surely understand. 

 

ROVER would call Animal Control. That is unlikely to go well. If the turkeys have online records of their previous rampages, he would march up to Main Street and request they surrender. When they don't, he would deploy weapons and start machine-gunning them until he runs out of ammo. 

 

Hero Shrew would be having flashbacks to that thing with the Kaiju but at least these are all things he can punch as hard as he likes. He might have to burrow into the spine of the mutant to bring it down, though. The Mecha is even easier. Demon would be a problem, since Mystic S*** isn't his forte. He might try punching its teeth out and forcefeeding it a holy water font. 

 

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Quasar - Clearly the technology-based threat is the largest one.  "We've got to intercept that Mech-Turkey before it reaches downtown.  Non-flyers, to the Hoverjet!  The rest of you, form up on me!"  A few kinetic blasts should bring it down.  After all, it can't be tougher than Mechanon.  Can it....?

 

Shadowhunter - "That asshat Quasar just flew off with all the heavy hitters!  How the hell am I suppose to handle a giant, mutant turkey all on my own?  sigh.. Same way I handle everything ELSE all on my own - Hide in stealth, observe to find weakness, ambush from behind, called shot to the giblets!"  The opening shot would be an HE blast.  Follow that up with a bolo entangle while it's stunned.  Flash attack to blind it while it can't dodge.  Then more high explosives.  Finish it off with knockout gas.  Pick a tail feather as a trophy, because it pisses off the original Shadowhunter SO MUCH.  

 

Mystica - "Cultists! Feh!  Eat by turkey demon is small price for foolishness!  Mystica would no have been so kind.  And now, gobble-devil, I send you back from where you came.  I send you, and I charge you - Tell the turkey demons.  Tell your story.  Tell them you saw THE WRATH OF MYSTICA!!!!!"  Then the 4d6 RKAs fly until one of them is dead.  Summoning demons, that's kind of a hot button with this one. (She actually has a limited Code Against Mercy, and a Reputation - Slayer of Morbanes.)

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It's going to take ATW two or three phases to take control of the mech-turkey. Maybe four if the GM makes him actually use a phase to start uploading the turkey schematics to the Worlds Freedom Alliance website (which hosts tech schematics of everything from the earthly mundane to the alien lethal for everyone in the world to see, regardless of patents or so-called "intellectual property rights").

 

Then he'll use his new mech to fight the other turkeys. 

 

 

(ATW is more than a bit of a fanatic and his views should not be construed as the views of this author or his player.)

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On 11/14/2020 at 11:26 PM, steriaca said:

I have to name the cultist turkey. He shall be forever called Waddlethulu.

 

Lady Heart: Come on. Three giant turkey things. And one which looks like what Cthulu would feast upon for Thanksgiving. Try to give the people time to evaluate the main streets and stop them with force if we have to.

 

Sailor Titan: Simular to Lady Heart, but she and the rest of the Sailor Senshi are aiming to kill at least two of the three rampaging beasts (three if the turkey is a true robot turkey and not a mecha turkey). She'll coderate her attacks with the others while screams of "World Shaking!", and "Moon Gorgeous Meditation!", and "Dead Scream! fill the air. She'll join in with "Rolling Thunder!" and "Titan Thunderclap Slash!"

The Original Gobble-Tron was a mecha. It was totaled and its pilot was arrested. How the big metal turkey was rebuilt and who's at the controls is a mystery, especially since the original pilot is supposed to still be in prison for all the chaos and destruction he caused during the last Gobble-Tron rampage.

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46 minutes ago, Marcus Impudite said:

The Original Gobble-Tron was a mecha. It was totaled and its pilot was arrested. How the big metal turkey was rebuilt and who's at the controls is a mystery, especially since the original pilot is supposed to still be in prison for all the chaos and destruction he caused during the last Gobble-Tron rampage.

 

Sounds like the original pilot got the original Gobble-Tron up to 88mph and activated the Flux-Capacitor at some point before he was captured.

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Time to break out--The Giant Santa-Mech!  Walk it to within hearing range of Gob-Lar, Gobble-Tron and the Giant Demon Turkey, then start blasting Christmas music and "HO-HO-HO!  HO-HO-HO!" Santa laughter.  The three Monster-Turkeys become enraged--"IT'S NOT TIME FOR CHRISTMAS YET!"--and they charge at Santa-Mech, who turns and runs--and believe me, you have never seen a giant robot in the shape of an overweight saint move so fast.  Once the Turkeys follow the Santa-Mech out of the city the Army takes over, saturation blasting them with tank, artillery, and helicopter gunship fire.  Then the Air Force joins in, starting with waves of A-10 Thunderbolts, then AC-130 gunships finish the job.

 

It'll be one heck of a show--but I sure ain't cleaning up that mess.

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4 hours ago, DusterBoy said:

I see you’re a believer in the maxim “There is no “overkill”, there is only “open fire” and “time to reload”.”

 

After all that, I’m pretty sure the landscape would resemble Verdun, only worse. 

 

More a believer in the maxim, "If a vicious, murderous, and deranged plan works, it ain't vicious, murderous, and deranged."

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