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The Turkeys have revolted ! Thanksgiving 2020


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To prove that 2020 has not finished with us yet, now the Turkeys have risen in revolt.   They are armed and they are dangerous.

Stay in your homes. If you see a Turkey, call the police at once.

Widespread fighting has been reported. Texas and New York City have fallen to the Turkey masses.

However all is not lost. Alaska has repelled the Turkey menace as it was too cold for them. Florida has also stopped the Turkeys in their tracks by calling in hurricanes from the Atlantic Ocean.

 

The latest news is that the Turkeys have pardoned the President. They have been given free memberships to his golf resorts as a reward.

 

More on this preposterous story as it happens !

 

(I had thought of you know who staging a coup but in light of the political situation decided that it would be too close to the bone)

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This emergency broadcast is coming from the BBC as the ghost of Winston Churchill has come to rally the Allied forces in this dark hour. We join the conclusion of that broadcast:

 

"...We will eat them with the beets, we will eat them in our trenchers. And though we might eat for another thousand years, men will still say, "This was...their finest meal."

 

"But let us not be so glutted with victory that in our folly we throw it away. Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties so that all Europe may be free and the life of the world may move forward into broad, sunlit uplands...well before the tryptophan starts to kick in and we lay ourselves down to that well-deserved rest."

 

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And there you heard it, listeners, from the former Prime Minister Winston Churchill's ghost. Keep tuned to this same station for other emergency broadcasts. We will keep broadcasting up to the final moment, even if the enemy is overrunning the station.

 

Thank you for listening to the BBC.

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As I said in the Champions Forum, it's time to break out--The Giant Santa-Mech!  Walk it to within hearing range of all the turkeys--including Turkeyzilla--then start blasting Christmas music and "HO-HO-HO!  HO-HO-HO!" Santa laughter.  All the turkeys become enraged--"IT'S NOT TIME FOR CHRISTMAS YET!"--and they charge at Santa-Mech, who turns and runs--and believe me, you have never seen a giant robot in the shape of an overweight saint move so fast.  Once the turkeys follow the Santa-Mech out of the city the Army takes over, saturation blasting them with tank, artillery, and helicopter gunship fire.  Then the Air Force joins in, starting with waves of A-10 Thunderbolts, then AC-130 gunships finish the job.

 

It'll be one heck of a show--but I sure ain't cleaning up that mess.

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