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Top Five Fictional Characters to Punch In the Face


Pariah

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3 hours ago, Clonus said:

This guy:

 

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The protagonist of Trash of the Count's Family.  He doesn't really deserve it.  He's a nice enough fellow.  But he was tragically born with the most punchable face in the world.  

 

I dunno, I feel like I would cut my knuckles on his nose....

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  • 4 weeks later...

He turned out to be an interesting, sympathetic, and even occasionally badass character in Atlantis, but in Stargate: SG-1 I desperately wanted to punch Rodney McKay every time he opened his mouth.

 

Senator Kinsey needed to be punched in the face early and often. What a smug snake. At least *Supreme* Commander Thor put him in his place.

 

Oh, and Colonel Frank Simmons of the NID. John de Lancie was fantastic in that role.

 

What was the name of the grumpy old guy who was in charge of the Tollan the first time we met them? Yeah, I don't care. He needs a punch in the face. Pretty much all of them do.

 

I can't really bring myself to add Harry Maybourne to the list, as he ended up being helpful (and even likeable as King Arkhan I) later in the series.

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3 hours ago, Pariah said:

What was the name of the grumpy old guy who was in charge of the Tollan the first time we met them? Yeah, I don't care. He needs a punch in the face. Pretty much all of them do.

 

 

The character's name was Omoc, played by Tobin Bell, who later achieved horror-movie fame as Jigsaw in the Saw movie franchise. Even more deserving of a punch in the face; or maybe straight-up evisceration.

 

While on the subject of Stargate SG-1, I'd say no one in that series was more deserving of a face punch than NID Colonel Maybourne, that arrogant, conniving little weasel.

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In no particular order:

 

Mr. Collins: The walking, talking definition of "Delusions of Adequacy".

 

Mr. Wickham: Even given the different mores of the times, the way he chases after minors is pretty creepy.

 

Lady Catherine: It's a good thing She was in England, not France. She would have been one of the first in line for the national razor.

 

Mrs. Bennett: What a horrible, shallow, superficial, and utterly vacuous person, utterly bereft of any admirable human qualities.

 

Any of the Bennet sisters younger than Lizzie: Their mother's daughters in every way.

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On 1/2/2021 at 7:58 PM, Duke Bushido said:

So...

 

does it say anything horrible about me that as badly as I have wanted to contribute to this thread since it went up five days ago, I still can't come up with anyone?  Fictional, I mean?

 

I've had that same issue, though in my case it's because I watch so little TV, see approximately no movies, and my comics reading has atrophied to near nothing.  So I've rooted around in the detritus of old memories.

 

Finally I recalled one.  Dr. Zachary Smith from the original old Lost In Space.

 

I am also tempted to put Commander McBragg in here, because almost automatic extensions of that character's behavior as seen on TV would put him into the completely insufferable category.

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  • 5 months later...

From DS9:

 

5. Commander Eddington. Sisko should have shoved him out of an airlock when he sabotaged the Defiant in season 3.

 

4.Chancellor Gowron. Useless as a rubber bat'leth. 

 

3. Weyoun. All of them/him.

 

2. Gul Dukat. I wanna punch that smug expression right off his face every time I see him.

 

1. Kai Winn. She's just the worst. DS9's version of Dolores Umbridge. As far as I'm concerned, she can die in a fire.

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And from Babylon 5:

 

5. Lord Refa. Fortunately, the Narn took care of that for us. 

 

4. President Clark. Any further commentary on this guy should probably be rerouted to the Politics thread.

 

3. The entire Drazi species. Green, purple, I don't care. Punch them all.

 

2. Mr. Morden. So smug, so self-assured, so desperately in need of a good punching.

 

1. Byron. Season 5 could have been vastly improved by not having him present at all. 

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My understanding is Sheridan's capture and imprisonment was supposed to run longer, but the money shenanigans going on behind the scenes, JMS and crew wanted to finish up the story as much as possible since they didn't know there was going to be a s5. Then they got renewed/refunded and "gee, what are we going to do THIS season?".

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On 1/31/2021 at 11:44 PM, Cancer said:

 

I've had that same issue, though in my case it's because I watch so little TV, see approximately no movies, and my comics reading has atrophied to near nothing.  So I've rooted around in the detritus of old memories.

 

Finally I recalled one.  Dr. Zachary Smith from the original old Lost In Space.

 

I am also tempted to put Commander McBragg in here, because almost automatic extensions of that character's behavior as seen on TV would put him into the completely insufferable category.


   Dr. Smith...yes, but I don’t know if I’d feel right about that big a coward and weakling.   Jonathon Harris OTOH was a very nice gentleman.

    McBragg now I would agree except for what I think was the last episode in that series.  The Cmdr. was telling a story about being cared for by a gigantic bird of some sort, and the straight man character turned away for a moment saying that that story was the most unbelievable of them all, and when he turned back the old man had disappeared except for some giant feathers and the off screen cry of an eagle.

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Thor, for not noticing that Loki had been under the influence of the same sceptre/mind control as Hawkeye had been during the events of the Chitauri invasion. What, did Thor think Loki just suddenly became a wannabe dictator of his own free will? Despite that completely contradicting everything he knows about the personality of the brother he has known for millennia?

 

Speaking of which, Thor again, but also Sif and all of the Warriors Three, for the events of the first Thor film. First Thor is banished without his hammer and "the power of Thor", to Midgard. Fair enough, he learns some humility and stuff, Loki is currently the only possible heir to the throne of Asgard for a while. 

 

Then, when Odin enters the Odinsleep, Sif and the Warriors Three *commit treason* against both Odin and Loki, by visiting Midgard to try and find Thor and convince him to come back to Asgard to steal the throne, effectively staging a coup while his father is in the Odinsleep, and we're... supposed to think that they're the good guys? I think?

 

Loki, quite rightly, as the rightful (albeit temporary) King Of Asgard, sends the Destroyer (an Asgardian law enforcement tool created for exactly this purpose) down to Midgard to take down Sif and the Warriors Three. They, and now Thor, resist arrest, destroy the Destroyer, and, in Thor's case, violate their exile, to return to Asgard. Once there, all five violently assault Loki, the rightful King Of Asgard.

 

Fortunately for them, Odin wakes from the Odinsleep and opts to apparently punish them far, far less than he will later punish Loki, for the "crime" of *being tortured and mind controlled by an enemy of Asgard*. 

 

So, yeah, Thor, Sif, and The Warriors Three are four traitors and their big, dumb, royal accomplice, well deserving of far more of a punishment than a mere strike to the face, but since that is what is on offer...

 

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Well, spoilers for Loki

 

Spoiler

For a while after The Avengers (2012), Marvel included a bit in Loki's bio on their website that he was being influenced by the Mind Stone during the film and thus wasn't fully responsible for easily the worst actions he's done in the franchise. Many fans decried this as an obvious case of Pandering to the Base of fans who'd been giving him the Draco in Leather Pants treatment. In this show, the whole thing is nowhere to be found, with everyone acknowledging he was acting of his own will.

 

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9 hours ago, DoctorImpossible said:

Thor, for not noticing that Loki had been under the influence of the same sceptre/mind control as Hawkeye had been during the events of the Chitauri invasion. What, did Thor think Loki just suddenly became a wannabe dictator of his own free will? Despite that completely contradicting everything he knows about the personality of the brother he has known for millennia?

 

Speaking of which, Thor again, but also Sif and all of the Warriors Three, for the events of the first Thor film. First Thor is banished without his hammer and "the power of Thor", to Midgard. Fair enough, he learns some humility and stuff, Loki is currently the only possible heir to the throne of Asgard for a while. 

 

Then, when Odin enters the Odinsleep, Sif and the Warriors Three *commit treason* against both Odin and Loki, by visiting Midgard to try and find Thor and convince him to come back to Asgard to steal the throne, effectively staging a coup while his father is in the Odinsleep, and we're... supposed to think that they're the good guys? I think?

 

Loki, quite rightly, as the rightful (albeit temporary) King Of Asgard, sends the Destroyer (an Asgardian law enforcement tool created for exactly this purpose) down to Midgard to take down Sif and the Warriors Three. They, and now Thor, resist arrest, destroy the Destroyer, and, in Thor's case, violate their exile, to return to Asgard. Once there, all five violently assault Loki, the rightful King Of Asgard.

 

Fortunately for them, Odin wakes from the Odinsleep and opts to apparently punish them far, far less than he will later punish Loki, for the "crime" of *being tortured and mind controlled by an enemy of Asgard*. 

 

So, yeah, Thor, Sif, and The Warriors Three are four traitors and their big, dumb, royal accomplice, well deserving of far more of a punishment than a mere strike to the face, but since that is what is on offer...

 

 

Fair point, if Loki was ever was heir to the throne. There is a line in the film that Odin likely never really considered Loki heir. 

Also, waiting for you to do Winter Soldier & Civil War. 

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  • 7 months later...

Wolverine: Smug and antisocial, overexposed, and not particularly heroic in the first place. Exhibit #1 in the "What Made 90s Comics All But Unreadable" exhibit. 

 

Gambit: All the same gripes as with Wolverine. Plus he was actually a villain the whole time--not exactly a surprise to anyone who was paying attention.

 

Moondragon: Manipulative and condescending, she earns extra punch worthiness points for using her powers to make her teammates in the Defenders (e.g., Iceman and Angel) fall in love with her. Even the Asgardians thought she was too full of herself.

 

Lobo: DC Comics' knee-jeek reaction to the inexplicable success and popularity of Wolverine. We're really supposed to believe this schmuck is a match for Superman?

 

Guy Gardner: Where do I even start?

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Well Batman did get to punch him and it was epic

Talk about deja vu I mentioned this in the earlier parts of this very thread. Extraordinary !

 

As the thread had been reawakened, I will mention someone who is a bit niche as not many of the board members will have read the series but Levistus the Council member who tries to have Verus killed.

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